The A.D.D Chronicles

XO'MagickMoon'OX

A/N: This is what happens when you sit through health and bio class with an extremely short attention span and a lot of notebook paper. Written by me and my friend, Gates. If you're even bothering to read this, enjoy!

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The Sixth Chapter of Insanity…

Gates continues to criticize Lindsey's PERFECT :cough cough: handwriting, although it's NO MORE legible than Gates'. Gates then proceeds to poke Lindsey in the side…repeatedly…over and over and OVER again until she dies.

Lindsey: X.X

Gates: "YES! NOW I AM THE ALMIGHTY AUTHOR OF THIS STORY! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—"

Lindsey comes back to life.

Gates: " . …you didn't happen to hear any of that, did you?"

Lindsey (once again proving her blonde-on-the-inside-ness): "Wha? Purple?"

Gates: "Ummm… sure. What's Riku's favorite color?"

Lindsey: "…Purple?"

Gates :slaps Lindsey: "No! That's wrong!"

Lindsey: "Ohhhhhh… right, that's BARNEY'S favorite color!"

Gates :slap: "Wrong! Barney likes ALL colors, dumbass."

Lindsey: T-T

Attention readers: Lindsey and I have the STRANGEST conversations. We came up with the previous few lines through one of our strange conversations.

Lindsey likes speaking gibberish.

Lindsey: "Gah ba ba dah le le loo ne ba twoooo!"

Gates: "…"

Lindsey: "The cloud is gray—I mean, sky…"

Cloud: "What?" :pulls at gravity-defying hair: "Gray? I AM NOT OLD! I DO NOT HAVE GRAY HAIR!"

Lindsey: "But Gates does." :snickers:

Gates slaps Lindsey. "I have SILVER hair."

Riku: "Me too!"

Gates slaps Riku for being random (although not really, she just likes to slap stuff).

Gates :slaps the table, slaps the chair, slaps the wall, slaps herself: "Ow."

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Riku and Sora were playing badminton. A pretty butterfly flew past.

Sora :drops racket: "PRETTEH!" :attempts to catch the pretty thing:

And then he's whacked in the head by Riku's racket. "Pay attention DUMBASS!"

They get back to playing the game, but due to Sora having ADHD or ADD or whatever the hell it is these days, he goes off following a cloud (oh, the irony). Cloud whacks Gates for her bad pun.

Gates (to Lindsey): Hey, you laughed.

Lindsey: I didn't say it wasn't funny; Cloud just didn't like it.

Gates: XP

Lindsey: Teehee.

Anyway…Riku decides to take Sora somewhere. They hop onto the gummi ship and leave Hawaii to go tooooooo

a strip club.

O.O;;

Ooookay. Riku starts pole dancing. For Sora. And anyone else who tries to watch faces the wrath of the Keyblade Master. Which isn't saying much because it's mostly Riku or Leon kicking ass. Speaking of whom… what are Leon and Cloud doing there? Cloud is apparently giving Leon a lap dance. And yaoi fangirls everywhere are drooling.

Gates: I feel dirty.

Lindsey :grabs a bucket for her drool:

Gates :smacks bucket out of her hands: I'm not drooling!

Lindsey: It's for my drool, idiot.

Gates: ……Shuddup, Miss Purple.

Lindsey: PURPLE!

Hehe, anyway…Cloud joins Riku onstage. Leon joins Sora in watching. (FYI: Cloud left Hercules a while ago…tying him up and locking him in a basement…and Hercules was too devastated to figure out that the ropes and door were not match for his godly strength.)

Aww…poor Hercules!—I mean…I AM GATES I FEEL NO REMORSE!

Lindsey :pats Gates' shoulder: It's okay, we all feel for Hercules.

Cloud: "……………" :molests Leon:

GAH! Gates is overpowered by the yaoi-ness surrounding her, and suddenly the strip club is inundated by a horde of fangirls as Riku jumps into Sora's lap and begins to ravish him. And of course, Sora allows this.

Lindsey: Of course. :D

Gates: Wow…she says it out loud and then writes it. What an idiot.

Ahem. Anyway, Ms. Valerio enters suddenly and begins to lecture the four horny bishounen on sexual education and the risks of…sexual stuff. Gates and Lindsey proceed to laugh for twenty minutes. Aaaaand, Ms. V is STILL talking.

"…and then, if you don't use protection, you'll get AIDS and die and then…"

Lindsey/Gates: O.O;;

Shane comes in the room… "Shit."

Lindsey/Gates: "What the hell are you doing in a strip club?"

Gates pokes Shane inquisitively.

Shane: "I'm a janitor… I'm cleaning up the shit." :points to shit:

Lindsey: -.-;;

And that's when Shane notices the scantily dressed Riku and the leather-clad (also scantily dressed) Cloud, and then the flushed and irritated-at-being-interrupted-by-Ms.-Valerio Leon and Sora. He decides on a different swear word for the situation. "GODDAMN!"

Heather slaps Shane for using the Lord's name in vain: BAHAHAHAHAHA. Heather goes off to pray.

Shane (the fact that he's in a strip club FINALLY occurring to him) slaps Gates and Lindsey and gets the hell outta there.

Ms. V left with a parting, random comment on alcohol.

Riku :turning to Sora: "Now, where were we?"

Cloud :smirks: "Yes, where…?"

SEX. LoL.

Mr. Trembly :points to the X: "CHROMOSOME!" :begins to lecture on chromosomal mutations:

Wooooooww.

Riku attacks Mr. Trembly with the Oblivion Keyblade which he miraculously procures from somewhere in his leather pants…and then he jumps Sora. Lindsey sits down with a box of popcorn while Gates goes and buys some sodas. Lindsey turns on some music to drown out…certain sounds…coming from near the stage…ahem…

Erm…PORN VIDEO…

Riku: "What? Porn? Are Sora and I in it?"

Lindsey :grabs camera: "YEP! Along with Leon and Cloud, of course."

Gates: Oh yes, obviously.

And then—

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-End The Sixth Chapter of Insanity-