A/N: Apologies to all for the really stupid dream sequence, but I wanted to do something random! Plus bits will come into play to my sequel later. Foreshadowing is also a huge part of the sequence. Watch out for the symbols!

Apologies for the rather graphic make out at the end of the chapter. I don't know what the hell I was on, because I normally avoid stuff like that. Also, as I have been asked many times, no, there will be no 'lemon' scenes in my stories. Ever. Because I really don't feel comfortable writing that stuff. This chapter is as graphic or descriptive as I'll ever go at any point. I didn't even know what 'lemon' meant, so I looked it up. Apparently it's a sex scene characteristic from anime. So this story is not anime, and will not have any sex scenes. Sorry if I disappointed you there. There may eventually be implied things, but I will never write it. Okay, I'm done rambling now.

I got really frustrated with this chapter because I hated it, so I went on vacation, and now I'm back, and ready to rewrite it! Sorry for the wait! I can't believe it's been over a month! I feel so bad! Please don't hate me! cowers

p.s. second last chapter.

Chapter 15 – Three Small Words – SPOV

I was standing in the middle of a blue field with Kyle. I looked up and saw purple palm trees reach up as far as the eye could see in every direction. They twisted and became entangled with each other as they grew further upwards, eventually sprouting spikes at the end.

"Stan, where the hell are we?" Kyle asked me nervously as he looked up at the overwhelming mass that surrounded us.

"I have no idea." I blinked confusedly at the landscape. In the distance, I saw a huge volcano sprout of the earth seemingly in fast motion. When it erupted, we became showered with pink flowers, which caused me to scream. Kyle screamed too, only much girlier and high pitched than me, causing me to laugh hysterically.

Kyle glared at me. "It's not funny!" He protested. "You know that I have a phobia of pink flowers!"

This made me laugh even harder. "Dude!" I exclaimed. "Since when do you have a phobia of flowers? That's so fucking gay!"

This pissed Kyle off even more. "It is not! It is not gay for a girl to be afraid of flowers!"

I stared at Kyle disbelievingly. "A girl?" And before I had time to react, a huge pair of boobs suddenly grew out of my best friends' chest. I looked up, and saw that his hair now reached his shoulders, and he had makeup plastered all over his – or rather, her – face.

"Kyle, what happened to you?" I exclaimed, horrified.

Kyle glared at me. "How dare you call me that! My name is Mandy, you know that!" And all of a sudden, he was. I was staring into the face of my ex-girlfriend.

"How come you always have Kyle on your mind?" She demanded.

"Because he's my boyfriend," I tried to reason with her.

"What? So you have been cheating on me?" Mandy exclaimed.

"No, I broke up with you first," I informed her. Had Mandy re-lost her mind?

And seemingly out of nowhere, Kyle came down from the sky in a parachute, holding a gigantic lollipop. About halfway down, he got caught on the spiked trees and came crashing to the ground with a thud, getting cut on the trees along the way. He got up and brushed himself off, ignoring the fact that his blood was spilling everywhere. He came storming over to me and Mandy.

"How could you?" Kyle yelled at me. "You said you'd break up with her!"

"I did!" I yelled back. I started crying, and as I wiped my eyes, I noticed red came away. Blood.

But before I could even react to this, Kyle had stormed over to Mandy, and in one swift movement, he whacked her with his giant lollipop. Her head exploded, revealing Mrs. Broflovski's underneath.

Sheila looked at me blankly. "I'll only let you marry my son if you'll have a sex change operation," she informed me.

"But where will all the waffles go?" I cried out in despair.

Sheila pondered this for a moment. "They can come to the wedding," she decided. And then we were in a church, Kyle and I standing before a priest. I was still a guy, I noticed, but I was wearing a pink wedding dress. The waffles had all the front seats, which enraged Mrs.Broflovski. She tried to pick a fight with one of them, and then got dragged out the doors by a Frenchman in a tutu.

"Mr. Broflovski, will you take Mrs. Marsh to be your lawfully wedded transvestite?" The priest declared. Kyle looked very upset for some reason.

"No I do not!" He declared, before turning to me. "Why would you wear pink?" He screamed at me. "You know I hate pink!"

"But I love you!" I exclaimed, bending down to one knee.

Just then, a massive toaster came crashing through the roof of the church, crushing a golden statue of the Virgin Mary as well as several people wearing the Star of David.

"LEGGO MY EGGO!" The toaster screamed, whipping me with its extension cord.

I awoke abruptly, feeling very confused and half-expecting myself to have a whip mark from the toaster across my chest. I even went so far as to check, of which nothing availed obviously.

I would do the cliché of 'serves me right for eating (insert strange food name here) before going to bed', but I don't think I ate anything just before I fell asleep. I immediately concluded that my mind must be jacking off, and rolled over to go back to sleep. I felt like I hadn't slept at all.

Now on my side, I couldn't help but notice the alarm clock right in front of my face. It read 1:54. I closed my eyes then opened them again.

…

That would be 1:54 pm.

"AAAAARGH!" I let out a cry of despair. I then proceeded to throw my alarm clock across the room, hitting my closet door with a resounding crash and denting it quite nicely. Bits of the clock flew everywhere. I let out another annoyed moan before rolling onto my stomach and burying my face in my pillow.

"I gather you're not a morning person. Or even an afternoon one." I jerked upwards immediately while trying to roll over simultaneously, causing me to get tangled in my sheets and roll right off the edge of my bed, smacking my head quite nicely against my bedside table.

"Ah, fucking hell!" I cursed as I struggled to sit up, rubbing the back of my head. Dots were flying in front of my eyes, and as I struggled to see clearly, a figure bent over laughing in my doorway became apparent. Or more specifically, Kyle laughing in my doorway.

"Shit dude, are you okay?" Kyle asked me, still laughing. He walked over and sat down beside me. "I didn't think my voice would freak you out so much."

"I wasn't freaked out," I snapped, pride hurting. "You just startled me, that's all. You walk in on me too much." I managed to free myself of my blankets, and then pulled myself into a sitting position as well. Kyle immediately took my hand.

"Mmmm, you're warm," he commented before releasing it and diving under the blankets. He came up beside me after managing to cover himself with them, and leaned against me, head resting on my shoulder.

"Ugh. So. Warm," he repeated, sounding like he was about to doze off. I snaked my arm around my boyfriend's waist and kissed him briefly.

"So how many clocks do you normally go through then? I must say I'm rather concerned with your violent tendencies." He said, smirking.

I froze. "How long were you there for?"

"Oh, quite a while. I figured you'd be asleep, so I came over in hopes of waking you up, but after seeing you thrash around like that I was more worried that you might try to strangle me, so I just watched the show. You mutter some crazy shit in your sleep."

"What was I saying?" I eyed Kyle suspiciously.

"You said something along the lines of 'No Kyle! Not the lollipop!' and then you muttered something about waffles. And then you screamed, and I guess you woke yourself up. Why'd you check your chest anyways? You looked as though you were expecting a battle scar."

I felt my cheeks go red from embarrassment. "Ah, it was nothing dude. Forget it."

"No way. I'm curious now. What have you got hiding under there?" Kyle lifted his head off of my shoulder and turned towards me, pulling up my shirt.

"It was nothing Kyle!" I protested. I wasn't about to let him know I screamed because I was getting whipped by a toaster in my dream.

"Nothing my ass!" Kyle retorted, letting my shirt fall back down. And what the hell was happening that involved me and a lollipop?" Kyle grinned at me. "Some sick strange fantasy of yours?"

I winced. "Ah, sick! No dude, I dreamt you whacked Mandy in the head with a giant lollipop."

Kyle gave me a strange look. "What the hell?"

I shook my head. "Don't ask. I have a strange mind."

"Apparently. Oh, and that reminds me. Remember how we were talking to Mandy on the phone that one night? I sent her an apology ecard about that."

"How the hell did you get her address?"

"Your account. I hacked into it."

My eyes widened. "You what?"

"Relax Stan. It was really easy. You've had that password forever."

I groaned. "Remind me to change it. So she did respond?"

"Yeah. To put it more nicely and condensed, she basically told me to fuck off."

I nodded. You couldn't really expect anything else. "Nice."

"My heart was shattered. I cried in my room for hours on end," Kyle announced, rolling on top of me and wrapping his arms around my waist while his chin rested on my chest.

I patted the top of his head. "There, there?" I responded, feeling rather amused.

Kyle cringed. "What the hell am I? A dog?"

"Depends on what time of the month it is," I responded smugly. Kyle immediately pushed up off of me and turned around to glare.

"Hey! I'd expect that from Cartman, but you Stan?" I could tell he really wasn't pissed, but he seemed determined to make himself seem that way.

I responded by forcefully hoisting Kyle up by his hands, then pushing him onto my bed so hard that he nearly fell off the other side.

"What the hell? More violence?" Kyle asked, sounding highly entertained. I reached the door to my room in three swift steps and closed it quietly. I wheeled on my foot and gave Kyle an evil smirk.

"Stan?" Kyle said, squirming a little. He started to get up off of my bed, but not before I took a running leap, flinging myself into the air and landing directly on top of my prey, refusing him escape.

"RAAAAR!" Kyle yelled out in frustration. I sat on his legs and immediately grabbed his arms, pinning them at his sides.

"Aha! And what the hell are you going to do now?" I taunted him.

"Watch," Kyle responded, and before I knew what was happening, Kyle had gathered all of his strength and used the force of his body to completely flip me over. And the weird thing was that I still had his arms pinned at his sides.

Goddamn that's impressive.

We struggled like that for a while, laughing the entire time, until one particularly violent flip on my part landed us both on the ground, where we lay, breathless and still laughing. Once I had regained my breath, I rolled over on top of Kyle and began viciously attacking him with kisses. Kyle was only happy to return the favour.

"Remember… you owe me…" I told him between kisses.

"I know…"

"I didn't… puke…"

"I KNOW…"

I ran my hands down my boyfriend's sides. "I'm not … letting… you forget…"

Kyle broke away for a moment. "Goddamnit will you just shut the HELL up?" He demanded, eyes blazing with annoyance and desire. And before I could respond, Kyle had yanked my head back down so hard I swear my neck almost broke, and covered my mouth in another series of kisses. I pushed my tongue between his lips, and we were making out again.

"Stanley, what in God's name is going on in there?" At the sound of my mother's voice on the other side of the door, I immediately sprung away from Kyle, who looked equally as frightened as me.

"Uh, nothing ma," I said. "Just beating the crap out of Kyle for calling Shelly hot." Kyle glared at me menacingly, while mouthing 'what?' at me. I shrugged apologetically at him.

"Well, leave poor Kyle alone for a while. Lunch is ready." My mom responded, before heading back downstairs. I heard her mutter 'boys' under her breath, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I don't think Shelly is hot!" Kyle protested, sounding highly annoyed.

I winced. "I know dude. I'm sorry. It was the first thing I thought of."

"I hate you." Kyle frowned at me. I leaned in a kissed him one last time.

"I can tell."

---

Kyle and I spent the afternoon at my place, watching movies and playing video games. And of course taking advantage of every moment that no one else was in the near vicinity. My mom almost caught us once. We really needed to be more careful. The thing was though, I didn't really care if my mom found out. I mean, I was certain she would be fine past the initial shock.

Just as Kyle and I were about to leave for the party, my mom took me aside for a moment. She led me into the kitchen, away from Kyle, then turned to face me. She seemed hesitant to say whatever it was she wanted to.

"You know I love you, no matter what, right?" She finally asked, furrowing her eyebrows slightly.

I froze and I felt my mouth drop a little. "Yeah, I know mom," I responded weakly.

Shit. She knows.

"And you can talk to me about anything?"

"Yeah." Even though I knew she'd be fine with it, I still wasn't really ready to tell anyone. Kenny and Wendy were flukes. Besides, we'd only been 'together' for less than a week.

"All right sweetie. Just making sure." My mom hugged me, and I hugged her back. There was something bothering me, in the back of my mind.

"I broke up with Mandy," I managed to blurt out. She should at least know that.

She smiled at me. "I know."

That surprised me. "How?"

"I think I'd know my own son well enough to know he'd never cheat," she said, still smiling.

I felt a sudden surge of adoration for my mother. She didn't need to say anything outright; we both understood each other in our subtle comments. I hugged her again. It was such a relief to know she didn't think any less of me.

"I love you mom."

"I'm so proud of you Stanley."

I broke the hug, and turned to leave. At the doorway, I turned around.

"Thanks," I said, and she nodded her head in our mutual understanding.

"Oh! And dear," she said, as if remembering something. "We're having a New Years' party here with a few friends. The Stotches are coming, as well as Mrs. Cartman, the Testaburgers… and the Broflovskis," she finished. "And I believe they mentioned something about Kyle's younger brother, Ike, going to one of his little friend's houses for their own party," she added as an afterthought, trying to conceal the devious smirk on her face.

My mom is the coolest person in the world.

"Alright, thanks," I responded nonchalantly. "And have fun with that," I added as thoughts about what could be done in Kyle's empty house began to unravel. I left the kitchen and exited the house, where an impatient Kyle was waiting for me.

"Way to take ten thousand years," he said as a puff of cold white air escaped his lips. "What the hell did she want anyways?"

"Oh, you know. Mom stuff," I responded. I took Kyle's hand, and led him away. Wendy's house was way close to mine; there really wasn't any need to drive.

"Be safe! Don't do anything stupid!" I heard my mom call after us into the night.

"Will do!" I hollered back, raising my unoccupied hand in acknowledgement. She closed the door, shutting out all light to the outside world.

"You think she saw?" Kyle asked, sounded mildly concerned, in regards to our attached hands.

"It doesn't matter. She knows," I told him. There really wasn't any point in secrets. I had never withheld anything from my best friend, so why start now?

"Does she?" Even Kyle didn't seem too concerned at this news. "And?"

"She doesn't care."

"Will she tell?"

I shook my head at my boyfriend. "We're safe." Kyle seemed satisfied with this response, and made no further mention of the event.

---

"Hey guys!" Wendy greeted us brightly at the door. "My parents are leaving soon, and then the real fun can begin," she added in a lower voice. "You guys came too early, so play it cool."

I checked my watch. Apparently we had, by nearly half an hour in fact. Kyle and I walked into the house to be greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Testaburger, who looked just about on their way out.

"Hello boys," Wendy's mother greeted us warmly. "How has college been treating you?"

"Fine," we answered in unison. Ugh. So lame.

"We're just on our way out," she continued, pointing out the obvious. "You boys don't give my daughter no trouble now," she added with a wink. "I want my house in the same way I left it."

"Moooo-OMM!" Wendy complained, flushing pink.

"Ah, ah I don't want to hear it Wendy. You know we only agreed to this because you promised to be responsible."

"I WILL! Jesus!" she exclaimed, obviously not wanting to start a whole scene in front of us. "Go to your party! We'll be fine!" She ended with a flourish, practically throwing her parents out the front door. Kyle snickered at her, and ended up receiving a demonic glare from the other party.

"Well, what do you want to do?" She asked us snippily, giving us an accusing stare. "You're the ones that came so early."

Wendy always had a knack for making someone look stupid or at fault. "Uhh, do you need help setting up anything?" I tried to offer.

Wendy narrowed her eyes at me. "No."

"Uh, do you wanna watch TV?" Kyle suggested.

Wendy, seemingly exasperated, rolled her eyes. "Whatever, " she said, stomping off into the family room, tailed by us. I wondered how Token ever put up with all this. I mean, Wendy was nice and all, but she was just so – high maintenance. At any rate, I was glad she broke up with me all that while ago. Or else we may still have been together. And then me and Kyle may never have hooked up. Funny how things work, isn't it?

She flopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote and switching it to some music video channel huffily.

"Um, would you prefer it if we came back later?" I asked cautiously.

Wendy huffed again. "What's the point? The whole thing starts in twenty minutes anyways."

"…right," I replied, decidedly taking a seat on the floor. Kyle joined me moments later. He mimicked a cat claw at Wendy, and I snorted a little.

Literally five seconds later, the doorbell rang.

"God, why is everyone early?" Wendy complained, determined to make a big deal of nothing. "Everyone came later at YOUR party didn't they?" She shot at me.

"…yeah?" I responded. "But so what?" Wendy stomped over to the door. Moments later, I heard a 'hey baby!' on her part. Apparently Token had shown up.

"Hey Kyle, can I call you baby?" I teased playfully. Kyle made a face.

"Ugh. Don't you dare. Or else."

I gave him a questioning look. "Or else what?"

"Iunno," hr grumbled. "I'll rape you, or something."

That card really had lost all meaning since we started dating. I leaned over and whispered into Kyle's ear. "You can't rape the willing."

"Ah, dude!" Kyle exclaimed, laughing. He smacked me playfully.

All of a sudden, the sound of a massive amount of feet stormed through the house. Apparently Token had arrived along with the rest of the neighbourhood. Slightly disappointed, I subconsciously lowered my gay-for-Kyle persona and replaced it with a just-friends one. Kyle, spotting something, wandered over to the kitchen and came back with two beers. In the three seconds he had been gone, the room and several others became filled with random people, eager to get totally smashed. Kyle chucked the beer at me, and I caught it upside down. Righting it, I opened it immediately, forgetting what happens to shaken carbonated beverages.

Needless to say, I got a lot of beer in the face. I swiped at my dripping face to discover Kyle laughing hysterically at me.

"Dude! You're such a dumbass!" He exclaimed, walking over with his own opened can, not fizzing in the least.

"Well, what do you expect dude! You toss me a can, it's practically instinct to open it right away!"

"Hey check it out! Marsh isn't even drunk and look what he did to himself!" Someone exclaimed. Kyle started laughing again, along with a few others.

I glared at my boyfriend, then quickly sought revenge, dousing Kyle in what was left in my can.

"What the fuck Stan?" He shrieked at me, then proceeded to further soak me in his own can of beer, hitting someone behind me as well.

"Hey! Fuck you!" The original character exclaimed, chucking his own beer at the both of us.

It would have broken out into a full scale beer fight if Wendy hadn't intervened.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she shouted at Kyle and I, completing ignoring the original character who proceeded to disappear for the rest of the story.

"He started it!" Kyle defended, pointing at me. Wendy turned to me, glaring murder.

"I don't need any of this shit tonight, Stanley Marsh," she growled at me. "Bring up any of this shit again, and I'll personally kick your ass from here to Tokyo." Even though I was a good few inches taller than her, Wendy could be really intimidating if you pissed her off. She gave me one last glare before stalking off back to Bebe, who had apparently just noticed our presence.

"KYLE!" She shrieked in her valley girl voice, running over to us and grabbing Kyle's face, where she proceeded to smash her face into his. Goddamn, that girl is too bold. I felt my face flush hot, and I had to clench my fists to stop myself from ripping her off of him. Kyle struggled for a moment before managing to pry her face off of his.

"Bebe, what are you doing?" Kyle squeaked out, rapidly trying to detach her arms from him while flashing me a panicked look. I probably looked ready to kill; I certainly felt it. No one gets away with doing that to my boyfriend but me.

"Don't deny it Kyle. I can see it in your eyes. You want it just as much as I do." Where did this girl come up with this stuff? Maybe she just sees what she wants to see. That was the only plausible explanation that I could think of. Bebe wrapped an arm around Kyle's waist, which he tried to shrug off, but she merely giggled and placed it lower, giving a little squeeze. I watched Kyle's eyes widen in shock. It would have been comical if I wasn't so pissed off. I saw Wendy watching with disgust out of the corner of my eye. Even Bebe's best friend was appalled with her behavior. Or maybe that was just because she knew about us.

"Bebe, do you fucking mind?" Kyle demanded, sounding even more panicked than before. "I'm not interested, so back off."

The girl looked hurt for a moment, but soon enough a smirk covered her face. "You'd like me to believe that, wouldn't you?" She approached Kyle from the front, making him step back a few.

"I really, really would," he said, sounding thoroughly freaked out. I would do something about this, but I am currently so angry that I find myself unable to function.

"Yeah?" She whispered seductively, placing a hand on each of my boyfriend's hips. She leaned up towards his mouth. Kyle did the only thing he could think of and tucked his lips into his mouth.

That was when I snapped. I grabbed Bebe by the arm and pulled her roughly out of Kyle's grasp. She opened her mouth to speak, but I beat her to it.

"Listen here you little tramp," I hissed menacingly. I could feel the heat in the back of my neck. "He says he's not interested, so go hit on someone else and stop GODDAMN touching him!" I pause as I realize that I just made myself sound really jealous, and the red in my face quickly leaves. But apparently Bebe doesn't notice. In fact, she looks more indignant than even taken aback, or even insulted.

"Fuck you," she spat at me before storming off. I feel my anger leave as Kyle stands beside me, looking very awkward and embarrassed.

"You know I didn't-" he started but I cut him off.

"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault Bebe is totally obsessed with you." I desperately wanted to squeeze his hand or do something reassuring like that, but there are too many people around, and it killed me. Kyle nodded briefly.

"I feel so dirty," he stated, rubbing an arm. I looked at him sympathetically.

"No really," he continued. "I feel really dirty. I'll be right back – gotta go get this beer off of me." I laughed as he walked away, looking for a bathroom. I found my own way into the kitchen, and managed to get some of the sticky residue off of my face and arms. It would take a full shower to get the bit that it's in my hair, and I couldn't exactly do that here. I decided to go get another beer, and this time I made sure to open it more cautiously. Moments later, I was rejoined by Kyle. We mingled with others, and about two beers later, we came across Kenny.

Or rather, Kenny came across us.

"You guys are dicks!" He exclaimed at us playfully.

"What?" Kyle asked, confused.

"I said you guys are dicks. Real nice guys, real nice. Leave my cousin with my dead body and take off? I came back the next day to find her still at the slope, clutching her knees and rocking back and forth while crying a damn waterfall."

Oh yeah. I had totally forgotten about Tallulah. "Shit dude, sorry. I guess we forgot about her."

"Forgot about her? How can you forget about a nice piece of ass like that?" Kenny demanded.

"Ah sick Kenny," Kyle complained. "She's your cousin!"

Kenny waggled his eyebrows. "Third cousin."

"But still!" Kyle reinforced. "Sick!"

"Where is she anyways?" I asked, curious. I scanned the room, looking for Tallulah probably hitting on someone.

"Are you kidding me? The second I told her about the whole death thing, she totally freaked and took out of South Park. You guys totally ruined my chances with her." Kenny wrapped an arm around either of us. "Now, normally I would be mad, but with that lovely display of affection you two lovers shared there, I decided to let it go this time." Kenny released us, locating a beer and downing it in about three gulps. The guy had a cast iron stomach.

"You haven't – told anyone, have you?" Kyle asked nervously, voice lowered.

"Uh, isn't there some sort of unwritten rule about that?" Kenny asked us. "Don't talk about it until everyone else is?"

Kyle sighed. "You're awesome Ken."

Kenny grinned. "Don't mention it. But hey, do you think you two could… you know…?" he asked hopefully, mimicking a kiss.

"NO," Kyle and I responded in unison. Kenny frowned.

"Damn. Ah well, it was worth a shot. And hey, I saw Bebe earlier. That was fucking hilarious. And may I say she does she look fine tonight!"

"That was totally not hilarious," I informed Kenny, annoyed. "I don't know who the hell she thinks she is."

"It was SO hilarious," Kenny corrected me. "You're face was bright red, you looked ready to tear her apart. Damn, I wish she would come onto ME like that! But hey, maybe she'll be looking for a rebound now!" he added brightly.

"You can have her," Kyle informed Kenny. "Makeup, tits, ass and all."

"Nice," Kenny said, downing another beer. "I'll see you guys later – I'm going to go find Bebe and make her three times a woman."

"It's probably more like sixty nine times a woman," I muttered under my breath. Kyle snickered at me.

Kyle and I mingled/drank for a while after that. I spotted Craig and Clyde making out in a corner. They were so bold; didn't they care if they got caught? Apparently not, because Craig just slipped Clyde the tongue. Gross. Maybe they were beyond worrying about getting caught. They were on a totally different platform than Kyle and I.

About an hour later, the party which was rapidly turning into a drunken fiasco, was interrupted by the most obnoxious person of the planet.

"The fun has arrived!" Eric Cartman bellowed from the doorway. He thudded into the room, shoving about five people out of the way in the process. He grabbed the remote out of one guy's hand, and inserted a DVD into Wendy's system.

"Whatcha got there, fatass?" I asked Cartman. I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol now; everything was slightly blurred and I felt a little off balance.

Cartman ignored me. "LISTEN UP ALL YOU FAGS!" he shouted at us for our attention. "ALL OF YOU GET OVER NYAH, THIS IS MY TOTALLY KICK ASS MOVIE FROM THE LAST PARTY!" This was enough to draw the interest of a large number of people, which seemed to satisfy Cartman as he smugly started his movie.

The movie basically consisted of shots of random people tripping and chugging beer. I had to be a little impressed though; the guys held the camera pretty level considering how drunk he was. He even created a proper introduction and used several transitions.

"This is actually not bad, r-tard," Kyle voiced my thoughts exactly. "Is this what you've been learning in your second year of grade 12?"

"Ey! Fuck you Jew fag!" Cartman retaliated. "Just you wait until the end!" This worried me. It sounded vaguely threatening. Well actually, it sounded really threatening.

My stomach clenched as the movie progressed. What did the fatass do? A shot of Kenny chugging a beer. Kyle and Bebe's spin the bottle kiss. Someone chugging a bottle of gin. Someone throwing up in my bathroom toilet. Kenny passed out on the floor.

I started to relax as The End? played across the screen. Maybe he was just being an asshole.

But then there it was. In rapid succession. A shot of Kyle and me kissing for spin the bottle. Kyle and me kissing onstage during the play. Me kissing Kyle's head at the after party. The screen went blue, and everyone turned to look at us, snickering. One girl was oohing and ahhing.

My mind went numb. How the hell did we not see Cartman at the play?

"Holy shit dude!" was all I managed to squeak out.

"What the fuck are you trying to prove fatass?" Kyle glared at Cartman disdainfully. I could tell his brain was whirring with possible excuses.

"What I'm proving, Jew, is that you and Stan are totally GAY for each other!" he announced triumphantly.

Kyle took a breath, trying to force himself to stay calm. Nonetheless, his face was rapidly turning bright red from anger.

"First of all, you fat fuck," he spat out, "The FIRST of those was from the spin the bottle game. It was totally against our will." There was a murmur of agreement. "The second and third were for a play that we were helping Wendy out with at the last minute! Where the hell where you anyways? I didn't think anyone could miss a guy as fat as you!"

"It's true," Wendy supported Kyle. "Stan and Kyle were helping me out. They owed me a favour." A few other murmured some more, and people began to lose interest in Cartman's story. Wendy really could be cool sometimes.

Cartman ignored Wendy and the insult. "The SECOND was from the play. Not the third."

Kyle paused for a moment. His face grew increasingly red. I knew that sign anywhere. He was going to lose it.

One deadly second. Then two…

"YOU GODDAMN FUCKING FAT PIECE OF HORSE SHIT!" Kyle screamed at Cartman, lunging at him. He proceeded to beat the shit out of a guy twice his size, with an injured hand to boot. I was both impressed and worried. I never knew anyone who could piss Kyle off like Cartman. And Kyle was dangerous when he was this pissed off. People gathered around and started chanting 'fight, fight, fight!' at them.

"Alright, that's enough," Wendy declared when they nearly knocked over a side table with a vase. She frowned, but I saw a smile flicker across her face. She liked to see Cartman get his just as much as the next person. She somehow managed to pry them apart without getting injured herself. "Settle down, you're going to break something."

Kyle got up and dusted himself off, eyes gleaming victory. The anger was gone now, and he smiled at me. "Sorry Wends," he said to Wendy brightly. "Won't happen again." And he walked back over to me and sat down. He didn't even have a scratch.

Cartman, however, was looking much worse for wear. A growing black eye and split lip showed on his face, and blood was trickling down his chin.

"Fuck you, you faggy Jew!" He screamed at Kyle before storming off out the door, completely forgetting his precious movie. Kenny hadn't, however. In one swift movement he removed it from the DVD player and pocketed it.

"For later," he said, winking at Kyle and I. I groaned, and Kenny laughed.

After that, people totally forgot the movie, much to our relief. People continued to get smashed, including Kyle and I. Before I knew it, the Times Square countdown was playing on the television screen.

I quickly joined in the chant with Kyle. "20…19…18…"

I wish I could kiss Kyle at New Years, I thought. There's too many people around though…

"…15….14…."

Everyone's in this room though basically, I bet the hallways are empty…

"…10…9….8…"

I'm totally going for it.

'5…4…wha?" Was Kyle's reaction as I rapidly yanked him away from the group and into the hallway. I pressed my lips against his hard while bending him backwards as romantically as I could, while people screamed Happy New Year! in the adjacent room milliseconds later. Kyle, obviously surprised, flailed for a moment before grabbing onto my neck for balance.

I broke the mind blowing kiss for a moment to speak to said surprised person.

"What's your New Year's resolution Kyle?" I inquired, smirking seductively.

He considered this for a moment. "To spend a hell of a lot more time with you," he finally said, smiling at me just as he pressed our lips together again. I vaguely wondered how I was supporting both of our weights in my drunken state.

That was a question that didn't need to be answered, for about half a second later, I toppled over, taking Kyle down with me. And although that should have stopped us, it didn't. Once on the floor, our kisses quickly progressed until we were practically attacking each other like wild animals, clawing and kissing and biting everywhere.

Shortly after, I finally realized that this was the worst place to be doing anything.

"Shall we?" I asked Kyle, indicating the door with my head.

"Indeed," was Kyle's bemused and breathless response. I snorted in my mind. Indeed? I however decided to let it go this time in favour of climbing off of Kyle and helping him up. He briefly dusted himself off then followed me to the door.

"Going so soon?" Wendy asked us, noticing our beeline for the door.

"Yeah," I responded. My face was still hot from mine and Kyle's brief makeout just moments before. "Great party though Wends, we'll see you around."

Wendy seemed mildly confused. "But what are you going to do now? I thought all of our parents were having a party at your place."

"We're not going to MY place," I responded, winking suggestively at the girl. Kyle seemed less than pleased with this remark.

"Goddamnit Stan," he cursed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Realization spread like lightning along Wendy's face, complete with a full blush.

"Ohright!" She said quickly in a rather high pitched voice, practically shoving us out the front door. "Haveaniceevening!"

We ran, or rather, staggered, all the way back to Kyle's house. No lights were on, further proving that no one was home. Perfect. The second the front door was closed I pushed Kyle against it hard and smashed my face into his, ramming our lips and tongues and teeth together immediately. I couldn't remember the last time I had ever wanted anyone so badly in my entire life.

"Upstairs!" Kyle managed to exclaim as he took a breath of air. He grabbed my hand and we stumbled up the stairs and into his room, where Kyle promptly locked the door and closed the curtains in record time. He turned around and practically lunged at me, kissing me hard and wrapping his arms around me tight. He was clearly just as lust-crazed as I was right now.

My hands immediately flew to Kyle's shirt which yanked it off as fast as they could. I then grabbed my own and tore it off too. Kyle slammed our chests together and shot his tongue into my mouth, sporadically and passionately. I grabbed his ass for the first time as I led him towards the bed, and Kyle grunted slightly into my mouth. I swear to God, for the first time in my life I believed it when Bebe repeatedly told us what a nice ass Kyle had. I let myself fall backwards onto his bed while Kyle attacked my mouth and ran his hands all over my body, both of us moaning all the while. I grinded myself into him hard, and we both cried out as we felt just how much we wanted each other. My hands moved from Kyle's ass to his belt buckle, and after a moment I managed to remove it.

Kyle broke away from my mouth and began feverishly kissing in a line down my neck and onto my sweating chest. He traveled further south, and at just above my belly button I felt such a sudden surge of pleasure that my back immediately arched. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what this sensation was doing to me. Kyle did, however.

"I found your weak spot," he taunted me in a singsong voice, before returning to the marked spot, kissing and gently biting. I felt the overwhelming sensation increase until I felt as if I would explode.

"Oh fuck Kyle…yes!" I cried out, closing my eyes and tilting my head backwards, breathing loudly through my mouth. "Yes…oh fuck don't stop…"

I felt my sweaty hands grab onto Kyle's sweaty back, feeling his flesh under them and between my fingers. My movements were not of my own volition anymore. I somehow managed to hoist Kyle back up to me, where I immediately undid the buttons on his pants and tried to force them off. This proved to be more difficult than it looked, and Kyle had to stop for a moment to help me get them off. And then mine came off too, and we were both in our boxers. I brought my lips back to Kyle's and began to kiss him again, although gentler than before. He ran his hands all the way from my shoulder to my hips, where he toyed with the elastic of my boxers. I reached my hand between us and grabbed his crotch, and he emitted a long moan, followed shortly after by a sound along the lines of 'waugh!' as I rolled over on top of him. His hands immediately traced down my back to my ass, where they stayed.

I grinded myself into him again, and as he tilted his head back, I leaned over to his ear.

"I… love you," I whispered between pants to him. I had never been so sure of anything in my entire life.

Kyle's closed eyes opened as he looked directly at me.

"I love… you too," he whispered back feverishly.

We continued fooling around until we exhausted ourselves. We collapsed beside each other, still breathing heavily, legs and arms tangled together, where we just lay, not needing to say anything.

I was almost asleep when I heard Kyle speak.

"Stan?"

"Yeah?"

Kyle shifted uneasily. "Are you a virgin?"

This surprised me. "Where's this coming from?"

"I dunno. Just curious."

"Well, yeah. I am."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I counted on my fingers. "Wendy and I dated before I really even knew what sex was, Monica and I were only together for about three weeks, and the Mandy was a complete psycho."

Kyle snorted. "Alright. Just wonderin'." And with that, he rolled sideways and wrapped an arm around me. He was too cute.

In the early hours of the morning, I realized I should leave before the Broflovskis got home. I kissed my boyfriend's head gently, who had fallen asleep, and covered his partially naked body in his blankets. I crept out of the house as quietly as possible and eventually made it back to my own, where I immediately collapsed onto my bed from exhaustion, a soft smile plastered on my face.

"I love you, Kyle Broflovski," I whispered into my pillow. About five seconds later, I was asleep.

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Aw. The cute. Now leave a review please! This chapter is ridiculously long.