I look straight ahead hoping I don't see them but the scowls and glares are hard to miss as I walk through Diagon Alley shoulders back head high. My spine straight I am exuding an arrogance that I don't posses. Some of them frown as I pass. I have learned not to care. I won't let them see my shame.

The envious young women believe someone of my blood status unworthy to be at the side of their master. They speak pleasantries but their eyes tell something different something more nefarious and I keep the conversation short never conversing beyond the gracious thirty second greeting.

Oddly enough I learned the art of delicate rudeness from Narcissa Malfoy. They are young, pretty and dangerous; treachery was bred in them and deception is their right of passage.

I leave the shop and continue down the street, I was too unsettled to actually buy anything.

Those who remained after the Order fell cast hateful glares my way. An old woman, Tandy, that fed us once while we were on the run, nodded as she cast her pitiful gaze upon me. I picked up the pace. I don't need any reminders of the past, not today.

I see a few others they whisper greetings as I enter the shop, more pitiful looks and nods of understanding. I take no heed of them; I know what they call me, the Dark Lord's Whore.

At first those words stung, and I would cry for hours remembering how everything was before Harry was defeated. But that was so long ago.

The naïve, muggleborn that believed in the hope of this world was no more. There was no longer good or evil but survival. I understand that now, if only Harry had. I try to squash those thoughts before went too far. Maybe that's why the Order was defeated always believing in the goodness of this world clinging onto hope like scared children in the dark.

We thought we could take on a madman and his delusional followers. They never took issue with crossing certain lines. We always tried to take the high road constantly operating within constraints and rules the other side dismissed.

Silly dreams we all had. We actually thought we would win.

No longer am I a dreamer, I am a realist now.

I remember the day Harry died.

All eyes were on him and the Dark Lord. No one moved. All gathered stood in fear that even a single breath would cause a disturbance and disrupt the delicate dance for survival that the two were engaged. That any shift would tip the scales in their opponents favor. The air was thick with tension and all present felt the power of the raw magic that was emitted throughout the Great Hall.

I watched wand clutched tight eyes closed as I whispered an old prayer of protection my mother had taught me. The last of it died on my lips as a collective gasp echoed throughout the hall and I opened my eyes.

I witnessed the last of the thin green light leaving Voldemort's wand as it hit Harry square in the chest. My friend rocked back and forth his eyes darkening as his lids fell covering those sea green orbs. In that moment, my mind raced as I tried to attribute what I had seen as a miscalculated move, a shaky sidestep on Harry's part that would cause him to lie dead on the cold stone. Our world and my soul, would forever be shattered. With the Boy-Who-Lived now truly dead, his followers fought with even more zeal and the Order was vanquished within the hour.

For seven days, we were locked in the depths of the castle. The ones that managed to escape were hunted down and brought back to Hogwarts were Lord Voldemort served as judge and jury. He left the executioner part to the new followers those that had taken up arms against the Order when they recognized the outcome of the Light being triumphant was bleak.

The prominent members of the Order were awarded as prizes to his most faithful of servants. Ron was given to Bellatrix Lestrange, Ginny, still a virgin, was gifted to Severus Snape for his role as a spy and most trusted of all servants. I remember McNair's scowl now. Molly and Arthur, both tried to continue the good fight until the end. I am not sure how they died but I remember their contorted bodies hanging from the entrance to Hogwarts.

The new overlord took every opportunity to make an example those that didn't comply.

I, considered to be the brains of the famed Golden Trio, was taken away from the large cell and to another part of the castle. I was locked away in a small room separate from the others. I was isolated with only my thoughts. I was left to process that events of the last few days, I was in my own hell.

I stumbled through the long corridors Fenrir's grip was painful as sharp claws dug into bruised flesh, I could feel the warm liquid trickle down my arm. In the Great Hall, there were death eaters all around some new the crowd mostly familiar faces. As recognition dawned on them, a hush came over the room and I shuddered. The group of death eaters in front made way and I curl my lip up in disgust as several of the men grip the front of their pants and made lewd gestures.

Fenrir shoved me the last few feet and I stumbled falling toward the small steps that led to where Voldemort sat. I turned trying to break my fall with my shoulder and felt the sting as it collided with the upper stair. I closed my eyes listening to the squeak of the large throne like chair. His footsteps were light like a cat stalking prey and I knew of his approach from the subtle swish of his robes. He stopped and kneeled just a few inches from me. My eyes flew open as he roughly grabbed my hair bringing my head level with his. I had never seen him up close and I quickly took in his features.

It was his eyes, the dark green irises with chestnut flecks near their centers. He had beautiful eyes and I recall banishing the thought but I did not miss that glint in his eyes. I furrowed my brow in confusion was that desire?

Next, I felt his breath on my ear and was surprised to find that it was warm. "We meet at last Hermione Granger," he hissed as he suddenly let go of my ponytail.

"My Lord…"

"Yes, Lucius?"

"The girl, I was wondering if my son could have…"

"I think not Lucius. He already has Ms. Lovegood. Was my reward not to you and your son's liking Lucius?"

"No, my lord, my son and I are grateful for you generosity my lord." Lucius once again bowed low, "It's just my son and I would like to teach that bitch a lesson," each word dripped with venom and I tried not to shutter at the implication behind his statement.

"No, you nor your son will be teaching Ms. Granger anything."

I sighed grateful that I wouldn't be in the hands of the ferret and his father.

"No, Lucius the girl will reside with me until I have sated my appetites," I looked up at him in horror my thoughts of Luna quickly forgotten.

His followers laughed all except Bellatrix and I didn't miss the hateful stare she gave me as I was jerked up from the floor and slung over a board hairy shoulder.

From the time Fenrir dragged me off to the Dark Lord's chambers I thought the worst. Best case scenario he would take what he wanted from me and kill me swiftly, that was my best hope.

The Dark Lord came in and slowly approached me giving me a once over. He ordered me to take off my clothes, initially I refused. I wanted to be brave and resist. He stared at me for a moment before a sudden wave of indescribable pain overcame me, and I remember my screams echoing off the wall.

It was the pitch of my voice that startled me, and it felt as if my bones were being pulled through my skin. I groaned; drool rolled down my chin when he lifted the curse. Once again he ordered me to remove my clothes. I slowly stood shaking and this time I complied. I stood there nude trying to maintain some sort of modesty by crossing my arms over my breast.

"Come here," on shaky legs I approached my eyes remaining on the floor. He reached out and gently brushed the dirty stray strands of hair from my face as he gently took my chin bringing my eyes to meet his.

"Are you a virgin, Hermione?" The question was whispered and it took a few seconds for the signal from my brain to reach my mouth.

I breathed in deeply holding myself tighter. "Yes."

He stroked my face, "you fought valiantly for your friends," I started to sob at the mention of them with my mind immediately going to Harry.

"Behave and tonight will go smoothly for you although there will be some pain. That I am afraid cannot be helped. Misbehave and I will make sure that you suffer not just at my hands but at the hands of my followers. I am a merciful man the same cannot be said for McNair and some of the others."

I nodded my head in understanding and to my astonishment the Dark Lord placed a kiss on my forehead before he led me to the bathroom.

I remember the sensation of hot water on my dry skin and the scent of sandalwood, before everything goes black. Before I started to panic at the lapse of memory the feel of his toned body atop of mine cuts in and I can recall verbatim the sweet nothings he whispered to me as he entered me for the first time. His strokes were unnaturally gentle and I had to keep reminding myself of who was atop of me. He did not demand much and he came quickly rolling off of me and allowing the chilled air of the castle to caress my skin.

I lay there crying silently until I felt the covers being pulled over me and his strong arm snaking its way around my waist. I cried even harder. How could I betray Ron and the Order like this? How could I betray Harry? I cried until there was nothing left. He quietly shushed me pressing butterfly kisses to my shoulder and neck. Around dawn I finally fell asleep assured of my safety by his presence.

The first few months passed slowly.

I fell into a routine and so did the wizarding world. Things went back to some façade of normal. But nothing would be normal anymore. People were still hunted down like wild game and those suspected of harboring fugitives were gathered outside of their homes and killed in the street. It seemed as if Dumbledore, Harry and the Order never existed. I too fell in line and I took what little solace I could in knowing that Severus took great care of Ginny. At least, my last shred of family was safe.

I was allowed to wonder the castle and venture into the library; I had begged him to leave the space intact in exchange for my cooperation. I had come to enjoy the Dark Lord's affections and even returned them in kind.

I saw Luna once her eyes void of the mischief and her carefree spirit had long gone. My former classmate had stood with a tray of cakes in her hands. She was a broken a fragment of the girl I once knew. It was during those times when I saw her that I hated what I had become. I was nothing more than a traitor.

I would willingly come to his bed at night. I admit I enjoy having him take me from behind while pulling my hair. When he is not in a typically good mood, I have no hesitation in getting on my knees and taking him in my mouth.

I am just like her. I am just like all of them. I too am disposable. Anytime the Dark Lord gets tired of me and ready to move on to another he can and then what will become of me I wonder. Many times, I have wished he would grow tired of me and kill me putting an end to my inner turmoil.

At the end of the year, I found out that I was carrying the Dark Lord's child.

The child was going to be his, not Ron's. It wasn't going to be the chubby cheeked red haired baby I had envisioned on those nights shivering by the fire in the woods. This child wasn't going to be brought into a union built on love and trust. It was going to be born into hatred and self-loathing. What if the child was like him? This was a constant fear that unsettled me.

I sat in the healer's office resisting the urge to scream.

That night I told him. Part of me hoping he would become enrage and kill me without a single thought, but the Dark Lord took it better than expected. Smiling he stated we would be married within the month saying the last thing he needed was a bastard baby running around the castle.

Nine months later, there she was wrapped in a little pink blanket in my arms. The Dark Lord took her nestling her close to his chest, the scene was surreal and I had to remember this wasn't a nightmare, this was my life.

He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Finally, something that belongs to me," he whispered to himself. My stomach clinched, there was no way I could get away now. Not without my daughter. He handed her back to me placing a lingering kiss on my forehead, "well done, Hermione. Well done."

When he and the healer left me to rest, I held my daughter and cried.

3 years later

Walking down Diagon Alley, I notice the looks and hear the whispers coming from my former housemates, the ones that remain.

"There she is, the traitor. The Dark Lord's whore." I heard one man say in a harsh whisper.

I turn and look, that man is none other than Dean Thomas and next to him a man I recognized as Colin Creevey he was older know and briefly I thought of asking about his brother before dismissing the thought. He was dead. Both were dirty clad in rags that could not have possibly kept them warm from the cool November breeze. My heart stopped when I looked in Dean's eyes. I averted my gaze, I couldn't put on the unbothered Dark Lady façade, not today, not after seeing them. All of a sudden, a man appeared striking Dean hard across the face knocking him to the ground.

"You will avert your gaze when in the presence of our Dark Lady," the man turned around and I immediately recognized him as Crabbe, he bowed his head in my direction. I in turn did the same returning my gaze straight ahead. I raised my head a little higher jutting out my chin, I felt awkward like an imposter. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down in the middle of the street, all eyes where upon me as everyone made a path for me and Michela.

I stopped in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies remembering a time when Ron, Harry, Ginny and I, much to my dismay, would spend hours looking at all of the new gear and comparing broom designs. I can hear their laughter now.

Looking back, I realized there was something Dumbledore missed. I can only speculate there was information he neglected to tell us. Things his pride would not admit not even to Harry. Or was this part of some grander plan? Was the sacrifice of a young man's life along with the lives and innocence of hundreds of children part of some scheme? Could this all be part of the old man's game?

I often question whether this was ever about Harry or was this an attempt to settle a decades old score for a man that had one of the most dangerous wizards under his thumb and didn't recognize it? I asked these questions often to myself when I am in his arms. There had to be something that we missed causing the world as we knew it to crumble around us.

A slight tug on the sleeve of my robes pulled me from my thoughts.

"Mum, I want some candy. Daddy said I could get some candy."

I looked down into the round, pudgy face of my daughter. I can see myself in every inch of her features, but her eyes are his. Every time I look into those beautiful dark green orbs, I am reminded of my cowardice.

I smile down at her. She smiles back, oddly it never reaches her eyes, and I allow her to pull me in the direction of Sugarplum Sweets Shop.