A/N: This might be the longest chapter I've ever written for one of these stories. I guess that's what happens when I base these descriptions on personal experiences. This is a little too autobiographical...

I got to school very early the next morning. I'd had a lot of trouble sleeping that night, so when I woke up for the fifth time at 5 am, I decided to just get out of bed and go. I knew I wouldn't be getting much more than another 15 minutes anyway.

The first place I went when I got in was the principal's office. I left him a note about Two-Bit, but I had to remind myself to write "Keith," which was how the faculty knew him. I'd known him better through Pony, so I knew him by the name his friends had called him. Had called… I felt a chill run down my spine as I quickly shoved the note into Bill's mailbox and hurried out of the office. I couldn't believe I was going to have to start thinking about him in the past tense.

I had somehow made it through my first class of the day and was sitting at my desk and staring into space when Bill walked in. He leaned against my desk and looked at me sadly.

"Thanks for the note, Sarah, but I got the news last night. How did you find out?"

I sighed and sat back in my chair, running my hands through my hair. "Ponyboy Curtis called me. He actually said he'd come in today, so if I get any more information from him, I'll let you know."

Bill nodded and reached over and squeezed my shoulder. He cleared his throat.

"How is he?" He looked like he already knew the answer, though, and was dreading my confirmation. Bill had grown close to Pony during his senior year, and he was worried about him. That was clear. As I'd learned the year he was in my class, to know Pony is to love him. Bill had discovered that too.

I shook my head. "Not so good, but you knew that. I'll … I'll feel better after I see him. Regardless of how bad it is."

"Yeah," Bill said softly, and I knew he wanted to say something else, so I just waited silently until he said hesitantly, "if he's up to it, will you ask him to stop by my office? I'd like to see him too, but if he's not in good shape, I'll understand. Just tell him I'll see him at the funeral or something."

I smiled at Bill. "Of course I'll tell him. But don't worry… he'll probably want to see you too."

Bill nodded and stood up straighter. "Ok. Thanks, Sarah. I'll see you later."

He walked out of my classroom, and I glanced at the clock. It was almost 9. The next class would be starting soon, so I stepped out into the hallway to see if I needed to move the traffic along. And I stopped short. I should have known he'd get there earlier than 9.

He was walking toward my classroom in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, his shoulders hunched and his head down. He looked up just as I caught sight of him, and our eyes locked. And I realized that I hardly knew what to say.

It was as if no one else were in the hallway, and luckily for both of us, the bell rang just then, and the few remaining stragglers found their ways into their classrooms. I walked toward him slowly, not knowing what to expect. He had grown up from the sensitive teenager he'd been in my class, but he was still Ponyboy, and he still felt everything so deeply… especially things like this.

We approached each other silently, and his arms opened as if of their own accord. I opened mine as well, and we came together in a hug that we both clearly needed. As we stood there, his grip got tighter, so I tightened mine as well. And the minute I did, he let out a wounded noise, and I felt his shoulders start to shake. I didn't let go, just rubbed his back until the sounds of sniffling slowed, and then I muttered, "want to go into my classroom?" He nodded against me, so I let go and turned to walk in without taking the time to look him in the eye.

Once we were in the room with the door closed, I really took a look at him, and my heart broke. His eyes were red and swollen, and his clothes were wrinkled. I could see he'd had as much trouble sleeping as I had. He probably hadn't even changed his clothes from yesterday. But he just looked at me and shook his head.

"This wasn't supposed to happen again," he choked. "We were supposed to be done with this stuff."

He dropped into his old seat and put his face in his hands. I pulled a chair up next to him and put my arm around him. There was nothing I could say to make any of this better, so I waited to speak until he was calmer.

"When are the arrangements for?" I knew this wasn't exactly a change of subject, but it was something that would make him think, and he kind of needed that right now.

He let out a deep breath and sat back in the chair that suddenly seemed too small for him. He'd grown a lot in the years since I'd met him, and now he was six feet tall. He was the same height as Soda, as a matter of fact, and he looked more like him than he'd ever acknowledge. His hair was no longer greased – one of the best changes that college had brought, but he still had that light-colored hair and those sparkling green eyes. Only they weren't sparkling today in quite the way I'd come to expect.

"Well, when Darry spoke to Mrs. Mathews, she said that the wake would be the beginning of next week, so probably Monday? She wasn't sure yet if she'd have enough money for two days. Probably not. And then the funeral would be Tuesday."

I nodded. "Ok, I'll write it down."

Pony almost sagged with relief. "You'll go to both, right?"

He sounded anxious, and I hastened to reassure him. "Of course I will. I want to see your brothers and Steve too. How – how are they all doing?"

Pony's face twisted, and I was afraid he might start crying again, but he managed to keep the tears at bay… for the moment.

"They're holding up ok, I guess. I know they want to see you, though. They told me to say hi to you and to tell you that they REALLY hope to see you on Monday."

I swallowed hard. I wanted to see them too, but I knew how hard this was going to be. "Well, tell them I'll be there. I'll be there for all of it."

Pony nodded. He cleared his throat and glanced at the clock. It was 9:20.

"How much more time do you have before your next class?" he asked. He seemed calmer now that he had secured my support.

"Uh… about 20 minutes. Principal Walters wanted to see you, though. Do you think…?"

I trailed off, but he nodded quickly.

"That'd be good. I'd like to see him."

I smiled. "Great. He'll be so glad."

Pony rubbed his face dry, stood up and was walking toward the door when he suddenly glanced at me. "You're coming too, right?"

My heart sank, but I jumped to my feet as if I'd been planning to go all along.

"Of course."

We walked into Bill's office together a couple of minutes later and waited to go in until we got the go-ahead from his secretary. When he looked up and saw who it was, he jumped up and came out from behind his desk. He and Pony shook hands, and Bill motioned for us to sit down but, to my surprise, Pony said he couldn't stay long.

"I need to get back home," he explained apologetically to Bill. "Darry and Soda are helping Mrs. Mathews, and they told me they'd need my help too."

Bill nodded understandingly, and I stood by silently while they talked for a few minutes. I had suddenly realized that the bell was going to ring in about five minutes when Pony indicated that he needed to leave. He and Bill shook hands again, and then Pony turned to me.

"Maybe I'll talk to you this weekend?" he asked softly, and I could hear the pleading tone he was trying to hide.

I nodded and hugged him tightly.

"Whenever you want," I told him. He smiled weakly at me, turned to nod at Bill, and then walked out of the office.

Bill and I looked at each other, and he said, "He's not taking this well, is he."

It was a statement, not a question. I was glad. I didn't think I could answer if I'd tried.