Chapter Seven: True Losses and True Friends
Jessica quickly became accustomed to life at Hogwarts. By the second week she could find her way around well enough to not be late to classes again. And it was a good thing too because Byron was the only Professor who didn't mind if you were late. Well, that wasn't true, he minded, but he also understood how hard it was to be on time every day.
Jessica loved Byron's classes as much as she hated Snape's classes. In Defense Against the Dark Arts they were working on dueling. With Voldemort on the loose Dumbledore had deemed it necessary for them to learn how to defend themselves. Jessica didn't see how Voldemort could possibly get at them while they were in Hogwarts though. Dumbledore was there and everyone said he was the only one Voldemort was ever afraid of.
About three weeks into the year there was a notice in the Gryffindor common room announcing Quidditch tryouts. Wood's old position would be open. It also appeared that they were looking for a reserve Seeker.
"Well it makes sense," commented Hermione. "Look at all the times you got hurt in quidditch games, Harry. If you hadn't caught the Snitch then the other teams would have won."
"That's true," Harry admitted. "I wonder how many people will go out for Keeper?" He glanced at Ron. "You should try out Ron."
Ron shook his head. "I'd have to get a decent broomstick first."
"You could borrow mine until you get one," Harry said. Ron shook his head again.
"What if I still don't have one by our first match? What would you use?"
"Ron," said Hermione. "You really should try out. You won't know if you're good enough until you do. And at the very worst you could use one of the school's old brooms. Gryffindor needs a Keeper and you're probably the best one for the job."
"All right," Ron agreed.
All of them decided to meet on the quidditch pitch on the day of tryouts. Jessica silently resolved to try out for the part of the reserve Seeker. She didn't think she was terrific but at the same time she knew she wasn't too bad. And since the reserve Seeker might not even play all season she wouldn't be as likely to make a fool of herself.
I can't believe I made it! Jessica thought happily. Although when I think about it there really wasn't much competition. She turned away from the list grinning. Harry, Ron and Hermione weren't up yet. Ron was bound to be happy too. He was the new Gryffindor Keeper. Jessica knew that Ron had really wanted to be Keeper.
It was Sunday, the day after Quidditch tryouts. Almost everyone in Gryffindor Tower was sleeping in. Jessica had woken up early and had been unable to fall back asleep. So she had come downstairs to the common room to find that some time last night or early this morning the names of the two people who made it on to the House team had been posted.
Jessica's stomach growled. It was only nine o'clock but that was late enough for breakfast to be ready. She left Gryffindor tower and headed for the Great Hall. Jessica was relieved to find that she was not the only one up. Dumbledore and a few of the teachers were up at the High Table. She found a spot at the Gryffindor Table, sat down and served herself some breakfast.
When she was halfway through her meal, a midnight black owl landed beside her. She took the letter attached to its leg, wondering what it was about. Jessica opened it as the owl flew off. She read through the letter once and her heart stopped. Unable to believe it, she read it again, this time quietly to herself.
Dear Miss Banks,
We regret to inform you that due to our inability to locate your grandmother, Miss Thompson, she has been declared officially dead. In light of this, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who have been your temporary guardians since her disappearance, have been appointed your official guardians.
There was a signature but it didn't matter. Jessica's hand started shaking violently. No, no, no! It couldn't be true; it just couldn't! As if on cue she felt tears forming in her eyes. Normally she would have brushed them away but this time she just sat there, half in shock. She didn't realized just how much attention she had attracted until...
"Jessica?" a familiar voice asked. It was Ginny. "Jessica, what's the matter?"
Jessica shook her head unable to make the words come out. How, how could they just give up on Eliza like that? It wasn't fair; they didn't even have a body. They didn't know she was dead; they just assumed that since she'd been gone so long... Yet even as Jessica thought this, she realized that they could very well be right. If Eliza were alive, wouldn't she have found a way to send some sort of signal to the outside world? What could possibly make Voldemort and his cronies keep her alive?
But there's no body, Jessica found part of her mind protesting. Voldemort wouldn't have bothered to hide it. They would have found a body if she were dead.
Jessica felt Ginny grab her arm. "Jessica, come on," Ginny said. "Let's go." Jessica didn't respond. "Come on Jessica, everyone's watching." Jessica still didn't respond and Ginny took control. She led Jessica, letter still in hand, out of the Great Hall before anyone could intercept them.
"I think," Ginny said, "that you could do with a visit to the Hospital Wing." Jessica was in no state of mind to protest. She followed as Ginny led her through the corridors to the Hospital Wing.
When they reached it Madam Pomfrey led Jessica to a bed, trying to get her to explain what had happened. When Jessica couldn't find the words Madam Pomfrey turned to Ginny for answers.
"She read that letter in her hand," Ginny said. "And then she just kinda, froze. I wasn't sure what to do so I brought her here."
"Miss Banks," Madam Pomfrey said, "may I read that letter?"
Jessica nodded slowly, her thoughts flying in a thousand different directions at once. Madam Pomfrey took the letter from her and read over it carefully. Then she nodded.
"Poor girl," said Madam Pomfrey as she walked over to a cabinet in the corner and pulled out a potion bottle.
"Madam Pomfrey, what's the matter with her?" Ginny asked.
"She's in shock, Miss Weasley," Madam Pomfrey. She poured some of the potion into a goblet. She brought it back over to the bed and handed it to Jessica. "Drink this Miss Banks. It's a potion for a dreamless sleep."
Jessica took the goblet and drained it seconds. Moments later she felt the drowsiness coming over her. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.
Jessica awoke slowly. She was vaguely aware of voices talking softly around her but at first she couldn't make out what they were saying. She didn't move, straining to remember where she was. Then it all came flooding back. Her eyes flashed open and she looked at the people gathered around her bedside. There was Ginny, Ron and Hermione. And Harry was there, staring at her, concern in his eyes.
They realized she was awake and they stopped talking. The silence was unbearable. Jessica made herself talk, unable to stand it.
"Harry," she said, surprised at how faint she sounded. "Ron, Hermione, Ginny. What are you all doing here?"
That, Jessica chided herself, was a very stupid question. But she really hadn't had much choice since none of them seemed able to talk when she awoke.
"Waiting for you to wake up of course," Hermione said. "We heard you were in the Hospital Wing..."
"So we decided to make sure you were ok," Ron continued.
"You are ok, aren't you?" Ginny asked.
Jessica forced a smile. They didn't understand, and there was absolutely no point in trying to gain their sympathy. Jessica hated sympathy. It only made her feel worse. She didn't want it from them.
"I'm ok," she said, her voice too cheery for her own liking. "You all didn't have spend half your weekend waiting for me to wake up you know." She looked at them. "You guys have homework don't you? You really ought to go do that."
"Well," Hermione said. "If, if you're sure you're going to be ok."
"Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it I still haven't done that essay for McGonagall," Ron said.
"I have some Potions homework I ought to finish," Ginny admitted.
"Go on," said Jessica in that same too cheerful voice.
"All right," Ron said as he, Hermione and Ginny started to leave. "You coming, Harry?"
"In a minute," Harry said. The three of them left. Jessica, because she watched them leave, had her face turned away from Harry. Now she looked back at him.
"You're not ok," Harry said softly. "What exactly did that letter say?"
"You, you mean you don't know?" Jessica asked. Harry shook his head.
"When Ginny came to get us all she said was that you'd read a letter and it had put you into shock. Madam Pomfrey didn't tell us anything either, just to be quiet."
Jessica swallowed. She had to tell him; she wanted to tell him. But like before in the Great Hall, the words wouldn't come. She shook her head.
"Jessica," Harry's voice sounded almost frustrated. "You have to tell me. It's not going to get any better if you don't talk about it. It'll only get worse."
"They, they," Jessica took a deep breath and continued, "they said that they'd given up on her."
"Who said they'd given up on who?" Harry asked, sounding confused.
"The Ministry!" Jessica said loudly. Now she started to cry. "They just quit! They gave up Eliza and they didn't even have a body! They just, assumed, since she'd been gone so long..."
Harry was silent for a moment. Then he said, "Jessica, I'm sorry. I, know that's not much but, I'm sorry."
Jessica met his eyes. She got a sense of déjà vu and realized that it was from that time back in the summer when Jessica had first found out Eliza was missing. They had stood in the Weasley kitchen and Harry had said he was sorry.
"I kept, hoping against hope that maybe..." Jessica shook her head. "It was wishful thinking. I just, didn't want to believe, that she was gone."
"No one does," Harry said. "You just, have to remember her as the kind of person she'd want to be remembered as."
More tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of all the happy times she'd had with her grandma. She'd never be able to share times like those with her grandmother again. Dang it, she didn't want to cry in front of Harry but she couldn't seem to stop the tears.
It was then that Harry put his arms around her. She felt herself sobbing into his shoulder as she put her own arms around him. He held her tightly saying, "It's alright. It's alright."
After a few minutes Jessica said, "I'm getting your shirt wet." She laughed through her tears as she pulled away.
Harry smiled. He pulled away too. "Think you'll be ok now?"
Jessica nodded. She didn't feel terrific, but then why should she? She no longer felt like the world was at an end. That, that was enough.
"I should be back to the common room sometime after lunch," Jessica said. "I don't feel like going down to the Great Hall for lunch."
"All right," Harry said. He walked out.
Jessica lay back down on the bed with a sigh. Crying had given her a headache.
When Jessica appeared at dinner that night half the Great Hall turned to stare at her. Jessica proceeded silently to her seat beside Harry, carefully ignoring them. She wondered to herself how much they had heard. Jessica found she couldn't eat with them watching her. She glared at as many people as she could and most of them quickly returned to their meals. Everyone in the school had heard about how she had yelled at Professor Snape and they knew she had quite a temper.
She found that there was one person who, when she met his eyes, did not look away. It was Draco Malfoy. He was staring at her but she found it was not his usual hateful stare. He was looking at her as though she had come into the Great Hall wearing Muggle clothing instead of the regular Hogwarts uniform. His expression was on of shock. Jessica wondered what that was about. She shrugged mentally as she looked away. She started eating as she thought about the idea she Harry and Hermione had come up with earlier that day.
Ron, who was, after all, the Gryffindor Keeper, needed a broomstick. However, he couldn't afford one. The three of them had decided to buy him one. They were going to buy him a Nimbus Two thousand. Jessica knew Ron needed a broom more than she did, that was why she'd offered to help pay for it.
The first match was Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. It was to be on Wednesday. At first Jessica had wondered how they were going to get down to the village to buy Ron his new broom before then. She shouldn't have worried. Harry said he knew a way to take care of it. Jessica trusted him.
Jessica finished dinner and, saying a brief farewell to Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny, she walked from the hall. She went back up to Gryffindor Tower where, once in her dormitory, she pulled out her photo album and pulled the curtains to her four poster shut. Jessica opened the album to the page and stared at it, tears in her eyes. Every time something bad happened she turned to this page. She had always thought it made her feel better. Tonight though, it made her feel worse. She slammed the album shut, and immediately regretted doing so; one of her fingers was in the way. She pulled it out and shook her hand, glaring at the album as though it had hurt her finger intentionally.
Jessica lay on her back in bed. Slowly started to drift off. By the time Hermione came in from the common room Jessica was fast asleep.