Title: Speak to me
Setting: Seventh Year, Hogwarts
Rating: R- Slash, violence?
Disclaimer: Don't own HP
Summary: Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort. But his victory had major consequences. One being the fact that Harry has totally shut himself away from any contact with anyone. No one can help. No one, that is, except a certain Slytherin enemy. (Slash HP/DM!)
Authors Notes: Woah! I'm SO sorry! I'ts been what, more than a MONTH since I updated? You guys must HATE me! I'm truly sorry, but school's a killer... I've just finished my second exam and have only a few more to go, then summer starts and the updates will be MUCH more frequent...
I have gotten past the icky writers block and present you:
Chapter Thirteen: The pensieve
x.x.x.x
Dumbledore gazed at Harry over his half moon spectacles, all amusment and trickery gone replaced with an air of seriousness. He watched as the young man before him stared determined at hands, and Dumbledore almost felt he saw a bit of the old Harry flicker past Harry's face.
He contemplated what Harry had said, and knew that the Gryffindor was doing all he could to prove that he could handle it. To prove that he was ready. Dumbledore wasn't so sure. He studied Harry's deadened orbs and the lines of sorrow that dug into his tired face and saw the wisdom that lingered in his steady gaze. It was sometimes eerie for Dumbledore to think Harry knew more than even he, at his young age.
"Harry."
The young man snapped his gaze upwards, locking eyes with Dumbledore's silvery blue ones. They were filled with a sort of helpless hope, yet blazed with a secret fire that brought the tiniest bit of color back into them.
Dumbledore had always known that remembering would be the best thing for Harry, as being plagued by dreams that would never fade and the forever souless eyes that had swarmed and banished the once pure emerald ones were hardly what a boy of his age should endure. He knew that one day, Harry's memories would return to him once he was ready, once he could handle it. He never thought the boy would show up in his office, pleading to have his memories returned to him. It was absurd almost, that he would calmly request what he did, after seeing the horrible things he had once gone through.
But then again, his life now was hardly better. His best friends were worried constantly about him, hardly letting a smile grace their faces. His body was weak and confused, as was his mind as it tried to process what was going on around him, and where all these new memories came from. The only thing that was purely Harry was his soul, and even his soul was blackened, deadened and battered. Yet somehow, sometimes, like this one perhaps, Harry's soul would break through the cage that witheld it, releasing his emotions and somehow bringing the savoir of the entire world back again.
Finally, after an internal battle, Dumbledore rose from his cushioned chair, sighing as he did so. He knew that Harry needed to remember, in order to keep his sanity, but it was a risk as the old memories could somehow even force Harry into deeper insanity. But living as an empty shell, void of emotions, hardly being able to exprss himself... Dumbledore knew that that was not Harry's true nature, that the boy was determined, strong-willed and a fighter. A fighter that would always win, and even though it was hard to admit, a fighter that was now old enough to handle life without Dubmledore's guidance.
Walking to his own pensieve, Dumbledore brought it forward, placing it gently on the table. The orb was swallowed with mist creating an almost mesmerizing sight, that held Harry captive before he looked up to Dumbledore, the fire of hope in his eyes blazing incredibly more bright, making the old wizard smile before concentrating on the task he was now set to do.
"This is my pensieve, Harry." He said softly, making sure Harry was listening carefully before he continued. "Actually, your pensieve since you were sixteen."
The boy's eyebrows knit together before he steadied his gaze on the sphere as the insides swirled with elegance. "Mine?" He whispered slowly, his voice almost as whispy as the gliding mist that lingered in the orb. "This? This is mine?"
Dumbledore knew there was no turning back, he knew that now he had to help Harry remember. His past, his life, his mind, his body. His soul.
"When you were sixteen, Harry, you trusted this pensieve to hold your memories. Inside this orb, you will find your past, maybe things you didn't even know about yourself. Inside this pensieve, you will find what you crave, what you desire. But, Harry, listen carefully... Once you remember the memories will stay with you forever, and nothing can change that." Dumbledore said softly, his eyes watching as the boy nodded, his eyebrows furrowed together with determination.
Dumbledore closed his eyes, hoping that he was doing what was right. For all of Harry's seventeen years, he had done what thought was best for Harry, what he assumed would keep the young boy safe... But now, now it was Harry's turn to lead his life. He was not the young, niave boy anymore.
He watched as Harry slowly closed his eyes, nearing the pensieve, almost hesitantly. And then Dumbledore waited, knowing the process would be long but hopefully, worthwhile.
x.x.x.x.x
Harry stared at the Hogwarts Castle doors with confused eyes. The Entrance Hall was unusually silent, and he waitied, wondering what Dumbledore had done to him.
Just as he was starting to worry, the doors opened, revealing the thunderstorm that lingered behind them. Dozens of students entered hesitantly, deciding that even the sorting ceremony was better then the rain. Cloaks hid childish faces, dripping with water as the cluster of students dirtied the once spotlesss floor.
And then it happened. What had caught Harry's attention was a mop of ginger hair and he quickly turned towards it, finding Ron who gazed wonderingly at the large building. Moving his gaze a little the right, Harry sucked in a breath as he saw himself. He was young though looked so much the same. His short unruly hair framed his face, cut in sharp, uneven ends. His face was bewildered and worried as he looked around the castle. He was exactly the same except for the brilliant glow that his emerald eyes held.
Harry closed his eyes, overcome with a feeling of need. Overcome with the feeling of want. Desire to once again become that innocent child. Wanting once again to be normal.
But just like he had forgotten everything else... He had forgotten that he was never normal.
x.x.x.x.x
Severus Snape stormed into the Dumbledore's office, his face furious, his eyes haunting and his breath heavy. Though, Dumbledore had expected it...
"Good evening, Severus. Please take a seat."
The potions master took a seat, trying to control his temper. It was then when he caught a glimpse of the pensieve and his eyes widened, before returning to the Headmaster's calm gaze.
"His past?" Snape finally choked out, his eyes still large and slightly worried.
"Severus, Harry requested he remember. What was I to do? Deny him what he wants... possibly what he needs?" Dumbledore said slowly, his voice steady.
"But, Albus. I'm almost positive that he's been changing... His life is finally coming back to pieces... He's rebuilding! I have concerns, obviously about what you are doing! What if his new life is better than his past one?" Snape said loudly, his beady eyes searching Dumbledore's blue ones.
"Would he have requested his past, if that were the case?"
Snape's voice faltered and he thought for a moment, before defeatedly sighing and resting on the back of his seat. "What about Draco, then? I have reasons to believe that he can mend Harry... Bringing his memories back in a more," he paused. "Natural way."
"That is what I had been hoping, and it seems that they have become quite close with one another. Certainly, one day, Draco could bring Harry's memories back... But what if that day is too late? We both know, have both talked about it enough... Harry is not complete without his memories. He is broken without them." Dumbledore said, his voice steadily reaching a sorrowful tone.
Snape narrowed his eyes, before conjuring himself some tea, trying to steady his breath. "I know." He said, his voice tight. "But, Dumbledore, surely you know that he wont remember anything from his new life... That everything from his first day back, to the very exact second he went through the pensieve... He won't remember anything."
Dumbledore's mask suddenly slid off his face and his despair was free to show itself. He nodded, before turning towards the pensieve. "I know that, Severus. And it's the one thing I'm afriad of."
x.x.x.x.x
A/N: This chapter, I rather like... but it's a totally different concept from what you have been introduced to from the beginning of the story. So Harry's getting his memories back, it's kind of fast paced, but this is the chapter I have been waiting to write since the beginning of this story! I'm so relieved! This story is about half way done...maybe even three quarters, which is a bit of a relief to me, I must admit :P
If you don't understand the ending, it tells us that Harry won't remember anything after hte war... Which mainly means his and Draco's relationship. This chapter was a bit of a boring filler and I admit, it probably made you die of bordum with it's dullness, but the next chapters will be much more exciting, I promise :)
Thanks for the reviews! They were awesome and I'm very lucky to have such wonderful readers! ;)
Shadow.
RedFox13: As long as it's in the same year, hey? Well, hopefully I can manage that much :P Fluffy/Angst is the perfect mix! I try my best to write it and am incredibly happy you enjoy it! The hand holding was a bit of a risk, I admit. I'm trying to make their relationship go slowly, and make it believable, and hand holding is a bit out of character for Draco... But I'm really, really glad you liked it :) And, of COURSE I love your reivews, who wouldn't with your hyped up attitude! ;) (And you're right, reviews are excellent medicine for writers block :)... P.S. After reading your review, I got the biggest craving for mashmellows, haha! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks lots for the review!
Mah-angel-frum-heaven: The slytherin's will find out about Draco soon... how soon? Even I don't know yet... the story kind of writes itself :P Thanks for the review!
ConfusedHeart: Thankyou! I'm so glad you loved it, cause I was going through writers block while writing it! This chapters a little less... Fun, I know, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!
Fudgebaby: Thanks! Heres the chapter, I hope you like it :)
Kaikiki: I haven't read many fics with Nott, so I chose him to play the role. I'm glad it fit:) Thanks for the wonderful review, and I hope you enjoy this one too! (P.S, thanks for making me realize it's "Nott" not "Knott", ;)
Anux: Thank you for the reivew :) I'll try to fit some more fluffly bits into the fic, but write now the "angst" part of it is starting up again. I'm also glad you liked "Harry can feel" I try and help you understand their emotions as much as I can! Heres the update! (Hope its what you're expecting!)
Zoomaphonethepirate: I'm glad you're sticking by me! ;) Even after my insane update schedule :\! I'm glad you liked the potions scene! I tried to make the readers as well as the characters know what eachother was feeling, because I think when you can feel what a character feels in a story, well it just makes the fic that much better! And your compliments are making me blush ;) Thanks so much for the review!
Princess Of The Tomb Robbers: Thanks! I'm glad you like them :) These stories are for readers like you! Heres the update, though it is kind of (REALLY REALLY) late... :P Thanks for the compliments + the review, and I love yah too ;)
Werecatgurl: A new reader! That's awesome! I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones to come! Thanks for the review ;)
Makalani Astral: I know, Draco doesn't do that often does he! (Well in my fics he doesnt ;P) Blaise is suspicious, true, and I can't wait to see what happens either ;) Thanks for the review, and hope you liked the chapter:)
Tastukitty: Thanks! I am a big fan of the bittersweet emotions... :P And even though you might not think so, you taking the time to review is an inspiration to me in itself ;)
Myr: Thanks:)
Volleypickle16: Thank you! I hope this chapter is up to your standards!
AloraBraken: Keeping Draco and Harry apart is like torture! Isn't it? They'll kiss again I can assure you! But how soon? Well, for that you'll just have to wait and find out ;) Thanks for the review, and I tried to check out the trialer but my computers crap and it wont work :( Well, it'll be on t.v soon enough (hopefully :)
Lenjade: Thanks! To answer your questions: Talking to other houses is still not openely accepted because even before the war, the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's didn't get along. As far back as Salazar and Godric, the two houses had been at feud, so that's still following the story line jkr has created. And Draco is possesive, but he's also very unsure about his feelings and confused about the change that's happening within him. He also respects and cares for Harry too much to gloat that he had won over an "Insane Harry Potter". Those were really great questions! And I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter... (Thanks for asking them, cause I think it cleared up a lot to not only you, but to me as well ;) And seperating them, I agree, isn't the best, but it works for my plot.. So I'm doing the best I can with it. Thanks a lot for the review and taking the time to give me some advice, that I will deffinately incorporate into the story. Heres the chapter, a bit dull, but unfortunately, necessary :P
Manny2003: Thanks:) Here's the next one!
Son of twilight: Thanks! I'm happy to know you're enjoying it :) (Thanks for the cooking as well, I was really craving something sweet, though your review did fufil that craving quite nicely ;) Here's the update, enjoy :)
Tabbymogpuss: No where! Fluff rules us ;) The other peoples point of view does sort of add a nice complexity to the story :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the wonderful review!
Livetodie: You liked it! Aw, thanks ;) I know, it was pointless, but I'm glad you found it adorable. I do update slow don't I :P This one was MAJOR slow, but you know how school is. (The math exam was WAY TOO HARD, wasn't it?) And radish-head? What a lovely comparison ;)
Skimmie: Here's the update ;)
Saber Shadowkitten: Thank you! I love making my readers mushy ;) Here's an update!
Itsasledgehammer: Awww! That's so sweet! Read it OVER again? Thank you SO much :P I'm sorry if I didn't update fast enough, and I hope this chapter is good enough :\
Lanne666: Aw thanks! Envy me? Really! Haha, don't worry I wont think you're a suck up, but it does make me all giddy to hear your wonderful compliments, so thank you very much :) Here's the update, though it's not soon. (And don't worry about late reviews, I myself, obviously, aren't great at doing things on time)
SBR: Heh, aw :P I really like the angst/fluffy combination, and I'm glad you enjoy the story :) Thanks for the review!
Atrinoisa: Thanks :) Here's the update! Hope you like!