8 Friends, 2 Lives, 5 Children,
3 Families
Chapter 3: The Birds and the Bees
By: Ivy-93
hey again everyone! this is the 3rd chappy! Inuyasha has to tell Shippo about the birds and the bees! this is going to be hilarious! but now, without any further ado, i give you, the hottest hunk of a hanyou, Inuyasha!
Inu: Walks through a door that mysterily appears Um, where am i?
Ashlee: Inu-kun? is that you Inuyasha?
Ivy: yes Ashlee, it's your Inuyasha. now can we please get this over with? i want to go to bed! i'm really sleepy and there isn't anything good on tv.
Ashlee: runs over and hugs Inuyasha, will you marry me?
Inu: Who the hell are you? where's Kagome? where am i?
Ivy: Ashlee, do you want me to bring in Kagome in this chappy as well? i will! and, this is my friend Ashlee who is in love with you and thinks you're drop dead gorgeous. Kagome is still in the story till i dicide to bring her out. And you are in an asylum that i am forced to be in while i right my fanfics. does that just about cover it? Ashlee cuddles upto Inu and doesn't let go
Inu: uh, yeah, i think so. can you tell your friend to GET OFF OF ME!
Ashlee: NO! i will not be torn away from my love! I LOVE YOU!
Ivy: sorry, but i can't. well, i could, but then i wouldn't get to right the fic. Oh, i have an idea! Inu, knock her out will ya?
Inu: ok, but then what? knocks Ashlee out
Ivy: put her in that closet over there points to a door that mysteriously appears
Inu: puts Ashlee in closet and closes door so does she really think that i'm drop dead gorgeous?
Ivy: dude, she's in love with you! she hasn't stopped talking about you since she appeared in this fic!
Inu: ok, but why does she want to marry me? and what is marring?
Ivy: she wants to marry you because she's loved you since she can reamamber, and marring is like mating in demon. Now then i think we spent to long on the author notes so here is chapter 3! enjoy!
Warning: i have absolutly no clue what will happen in this chappy, other then what is in my mind.
Ages: (I know there are a lot, plz bare with me!)
Kagome, 16
Inuyasha, 251in demon years, 17 in human
Sango, 16
Miroku, 17
Shippo, 10 in human
Kaede, 60
Sota, 8
Kagome's mom (Iki), 46
Koga, 18 in human
Ayame, 17 in human
Kikyo, 17, well, her body anyway, other wise, she's 95
Naraku, 85 in demon, 24 in human
-- last chappy --
"Kagome, what are mates?" Shippo asks Kagome looking up with a confused look. "Um, how about Inuyasha tells you? Not you Miroku, we don't want him to be like you." Kagome says looking daggers at Miroku as he was about to speak.
-- Chapter 3: the birds and the bees --
"Miss Kagome, i am appaled that you would think that i would fill Shippo's mind with lecherous things." Miroku says in his defense.
"Miroku, we all know that you would, so there's no denying it. Here Inu, take Shippo and tell him what mates are." Kagome said with a 'if-you-don't-i-will-sit-you-till-next-year' look, and handing Shippo over to Inuyasha.
"But Kags, why do i have to? why can't you or Sango tell him?" Inuyasha says missing the look that Kagome was giving him.
"Because Inuyasha, Shippo is a boy and you are a guy. He looks upto you as father."
"Fine. Come on Shippo let's get this over with." Inuyasha says while walking towards the Goshinboku.
"Inuyasha must be really embarressed. I think i will go help him." Miroku says. Sango and Kagome didn't hear him, so he silently slipped into the forest to follow Inuyasha.
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Inuyasha gets to the Goshinboku and jumps to one of the branches. He then puts Shippo in front of him and clears his throught (SP?).
"Ok runt. So you want to know what mates are. Ok, Mates are when a boy and a girl like eachother a lot, like me and Kags, and the boy marks the girl by biting her on the neck. Follow me so far?" Inuyasha says.
"I think so, but, can you show me an example of the bite?" Shippo asks the now very embaressed Inuyasha.
"Uh, What do you mean, like a diagram or something?"
"Yes. Here, i still have some paper and crayons from when you were jealous of Koga." Shippo says handing Inuyasha some paper and crayons. Inuyasha takes the paper and acts like he didn't hear the part about Koga.
"Ok. Well, like i said when a boy and girl like eachother a lot," Inuyasha draws a stick person of Kagome and him. "the boy marks the girl by biting her on the neck." Inuyasha takes another piece of paper and draws him biting Kagome on the neck. "Then, in a couple of days, a mark shows up on the back of the boy's and girl's necks, close to the where the boy bit the girl." Inuyasha gets another piece of paper and draws his mark on the back of a neck. "With me, it's a purple cresent moon with a sword connecting the two tips and a gold star in the middle. The mark is your family crest with a twist to make it your own."
"Oh, so when i find a girl that i really love--" Shippo was cut off as a person walks out of the trees and right up to the Goshinboku.
"Miroku what do you want. You're not going to tell Shippo about women. If you try, i'll tell Kags. And you do not want to see her mad." Inuyasha says to Miroku to try to get him to leave.
"Inuyasha, i would only tell little Shippo the truth, that a woman is the most beautiful thing on this world. Especially when --" Miroku gets cut off when he sees a very mad hanyou's face right in his. "You say one more lecherous thing and i will personally drag you to Kagome and tell her what you were going to do."
"You miss interpret me my friend. i am here only to assist you in telling Shippo about mates. I would not even think about telling him any thing lecherous."
"Yeah, Ok, just go back to the girls. Alright? And i won't tell Kagome what you were doing here." Inuyasha says. Miroku then trudges off back to the camp, and Inuyasha jumps up to the branch were Shippo was sitting.
"Inuyasha, why did you say you wouldn't tell the girls what Miroku was doing here?"
"Shippo, I didn't say I wouldn't tell the girls, I just said that I wouldn't tell Kagome, I didn't say that i wouldn't tell Sango. You get what i'm saying?"
"I think so."
"Now then, what were you saying before Miroku showed up?"
"Oh, that when i finally find a girl that i really like, i should mark her?"
"No, that wasn't what i was saying. When you find a girl you really like and she really likes you, you ask her if you can mark her. And if she says yes, then you can."
"Ok, but, what if she says no? Do i still bite her?"
"um, then I guess you just wait until she's ready. Or if she doesn't think of you in that way, then, I guess, she isn't the right one."
"When will i know i found my mate then?"
"You just know. You get jealous if any other male touches her or gets too close. You want to protect her with your life. Your happy when she is, and cry when she cries. And you'll just know, ok."
"I guess so. Can we get back to Kagome and the others now?"
"Yeah, get on my shoulder 'kay?" Inuyasha says while crouching down so Shippo can climb onto his shoulder. Shippo nods his head and climbs on.
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Miroku walks out of the bushes and get met with a very angry miko and demon slayer. "Hi there, Miroku. What were you doing in the forest?" Kagome asks. Miroku thought he could see fire flaring in Kagome's eyes when she spoke.
"Yes, Miroku, what were you doing in the forest?" Sango said. Miroku knew that Sango was angry when she brought her Hiraikotsu out from behind her back and gave it to Kagome and drew her sword. "YOU LECHEROUS MONK!" Sango then chases Miroku around their camp until Kagome stops him by puting the Hiraikotsu in front of where he was going. Miroku couldn't dodge it so he tripped and fell on his face.
"Sango, i didn't do anything! I was just going for a stroll! even ask Inuyasha! Sango!" Miroku says trying to get out of this life or death situation.
Sango was just about to cut the monk down to size when Inuyasha walks out of the bushes with Shippo on his shoulder. Sango looks at Inuyasha, "Inuyasha, did Miroku follow you and Shippo?" Inuyasha nods his head while he starts to laugh. "My friend, how could you go back on your peomise!" Miroku asks, getting very scared.
"I didn't go back on my promise Miroku, I said that i wouldn't tell Kagome, I never said that i wouldn't tell Sango. You should really listen when somebody tells you something." Inuyasha says. Inuyasha can't hold it in any longer and he rolls on the ground laughing his lungs out.
"Inuyasha, what is so funny?" Kagome asks, walking over to him and kneeling down. Inuyasha keeps laughing trying to stop. When he does he gets up and brushes himself off.
"What's so funny? Look at this, Sango holds a sword, has fire flaming in her eyes, Miroku pushed up to the Hiraikotsu and cowering for dear life, while i just told Sango what happened and she is now hell bent to kill him. How can that not be funny?" Inuyasha says, getting the gigles again.
"It wouldn't be that funny if you were Miroku would it Inuyasha?" Kagome asks getting a little mad herself.
"No it wouldn't if i were Miroku, but i'm not him, i'm Inuyasha. Kagome, are you alright? You seem to have flames in your, Oh no! help!" Inuyasha then runs around the camp trying to get away from the mad miko that was following him.
"Inuyasha, SIT! SITSITSITSITSITSITSISTSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSIT!" Kagome yells. thud everyone sees a gigantic hole in the middle of their camp with inuyasha in the middle of the hole.
"You did it this time Inuyasha." Sango says, looking over the side of the hole.
"Yes, my friend, you have just dug a very deep grave." Miroku says feeling that Sango would not try to take his life for the time being.
(oh no, ah, we are experiencing some technical difficulties, Ashlee has gotten out of the closet and has now lacthed herself onto Inuyasha's leg. Please standby for a flamethrower.
..., ook, back to the fic!)
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR KAGOME!" Inuyasha yelled. looking at Kagome after a few seconds.
"That was for laughing at other people's misfortunes Inuyasha. Now don't do it again!" Kagome said as a mater of factly.
"Ok, Ok! Just don't sit me anymore!" Inuyasha said, trying to calm Kagome down. Inuyasha crawled out of the hole and sat beside Kagome by the fire that Sango made. Miroku sat beside Sango. SLAP! "PERVERT!" Sango yelled.
"You really will never learn will you Miroku?" Shippo says. Shippo walks over and sits in Kagome's lap. "Kagome, do you have anymore of that lollipop stuff? it was really good."
Kagome reaches into her pack and shuffles around a bit. "Here Shippo." Kagome says while handing Shippo an extra extra large lollipop. Inuyasha crawls and sitts behind Kagome and pulls her into his lap.
"Inu, i love you." Kagome says looking up at Inuyasha. "I love you too Kags." Inuyasha says back and nuzzling into Kagome's neck.
"Sango, I love you." Miroku says trying to get the same response. "Miroku, what did you just say?" Sango says trying to figure out why Miroku just said that.
"I merely wish for the two of us to follow suit."
"What do you mean, 'follow suit'? You don't mean, what Kagome and Inuyasha are doing,..., gulp do you?"
"Why of course my dear Sango! Why could we not? You do love me, don't you?" Miroku says getting a slightly lecherous look in his eyes. SLAP!
-----end Chappy 3-----
Ivy: so,what did you think Inu? Did ya like?
Inu: ah, um, it was, ah, alright
Ivy: What do you mean, 'it was, ah, alright'? If you think Kagome can get angry, you better not see me angry!
Ashlee(in the closet): Inu-kun, you do NOT want to see Ivy-kun mad, she almost killed me! And i'm one of her best friends! So, pease be carful, i don't want to see you dead, Inu-kun! Ashlee manages to get out of the closet somehow
Ivy: Ashlee, SHUDDUP! if i get mad, i get mad, if i kill Inuyasha, i kill Inuyasha. Besides, i can always have Sesshy come and use Tensaiga.
Ashlee: Please don't hurt me! hides behind Inuyasha
Inu: don't you hide behind me wench! I'm not protecting you from THAT demon! points to Ivy
Ivy: What did you say? "THAT demon"? Well "THAT demon" can kick your butt and stuff you into a little box about this big! uses hands to 'draw' a very small box in the air
Inu: gulp shuffles away to a dark corner and cowers there mommy. please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me!
Ashlee: goes over to Inu and tries to get him to come out of the corner Ivy! stop scaring my Inu-kun!
Ivy: Ashlee, grrrrrrr grinds teeth
We are sorry, but we seem to be having a few technical difficuties at this time. sees Ivy beating Ashlee and Inu with BD We will countinue this brodcast in the next enstalment of 8 Friends, 2 Lives, 5 Children, 3 Families.
Ivy: remember, review!