Author's Note: The notes are mostly at the bottom, I only have on thing to address in this one ;)

Why wasn't Harry told of his stay with Draco and why wasn't Draco warned of Harry's memories coming back?

Well, lets start off with Harry. Harry had been through a lot, and the one thing that's always been the same and will forever be the same (or so he thinks) is his feud with Malfoy. Dumbledore thought it would be hard for him to comprehend the thoguht of living with Draco and actually enjoying his company, and once again lead him to the stress that made him feel the need to forget in the first place. Also, Dumbledore wanted Harry's life to be as normal as it could be, and enemies suddenly becoming lovers was far from normal.

Then why wasn't Draco warned? The easiest explanation for this is I didn't want him to be. I didn't want Draco to be prepared or ready and wanted the first time he heard of it to be by Harry's actions. This way, the story is more dramatic, and Draco feels more pain, which leads to this chapter. (Which focusses on the pain and love that Draco feels) But I can hear you all booing and holding your tomatoes ready to throw them at me for my cruelty to the boy, so I have further explanations: Dumbledore, and especially Snape, did not know the level of the relationship Harry had with Draco. Snape only paired them up with potions because Harry had spent so much time with Draco to the point he was the only person he felt comfortable with; SS witnessed this when he visited Draco's and Harry's room over Chritmas. Dumbledore also didn't know the intensity of the relationship and his mind was hardly focussed on Draco at the time, he was purely paying attention Harry and Harry alone.

I know you guys still are grumbling under your breaths about how it was utterly mean of me, but without that happening in the story, Draco would have been to prepared and the angst woud be too watered-down (if you know what I mean) But hopefully the explanation was enough to get you to lower your tomatoes (and other objects you were planning on throwing) and ready to read the next chapter.

Thanks too all my reviewers; i've said it many many times, but I'll say it once more: You guys make me blush to the point I look like a tomato myself!

Love and hugs to all.

Shadow

Chapter Sixteen: Pain is Love; Love is Pain

x.x.x.x

You're weak. How could you ever be so weak.

You've betrayed me. How could you ever betray me.

You're not my son any longer.

Draco stared at the ceiling of his dormitory, feeling the wind flicker slightly around the room, causing his hair to flutter, the short strands just landing at his ears, tickling his eyes. The dream about his father was still vivid in his mind.

Everything I've taught you gone to waste.

The power I taught you to hold has diminished.

And you're weak. So bloody weak.

He was weak. It was the only explanation for him being tangled up in his bedsheets, the haunting wind rustling against the fabric and the only reason he was sitting alone, isolated from anyone else, avoiding the Slytherins and Harry at any cost.

Your dignity is tarnished.

Your body is tainted.

Where is your pride? That pride I taught you to put before everything else.

My pride, thought Draco bitterly. If it weren't for my pride in the first place, Harry wouldn't hate me.

Hate.

A strong word, not to be taken lightly. Someone can dislike something without hating it. But it was true... Harry hated him, and no matter the situation, no matter the amount of times he apologized, the hate would always be there. It was a part of them. It was the only relationship they had.

A Malfoy is strong, proud and pure.

We don't sink to the level you have.

You've dirtied our name...

The only relationship we had? Draco thought to himself, his eyes unseeing. No, we had a relationship. We had a relationship and we lost it. We lost it like we lost everything else.

I blame my death on you.

You're the death of all Malfoys.

Why I was so unfortunate to have you as a son, i'll never know...

Get it back. The thought ran through Draco's head many times. Get Harry back! Could he do it?

Of course not. Hate. It was there... It always would be. Nothing could change that.

Draco stared a bit lifelessly at the ceiling, the patterns facinating him as he whispered softly to himself.

"But I don't hate him."

It was a bit crazy, he finally decided, that he was alone in the Slytherin dormitory's, hearing his death father's voice, talking to himself and finding hope in the fact Harry hated him.

"And the tables have turned." Draco mused, a soft sigh ringing throughout the room. He kept it to himself, though who could he tell anyway, that he was missing dinner for the third time that week.

x.x.x.x

Empty. My life has no meaning... I can't feel anything. I'm numb.

No, you can feel.

Draco's mouth hadn't opened once as he faught internally with himself. It was once again, a bit insane that he was talking to himself, but what else could he do? There was no one else that would listen.

I can't. The only thing I feel is pain.

Then what about love?

Love.

You can feel love. You will always feel love. Whenever you think of Harry, you feel love.

I feel pain.

A result of love.

Love isn't pain. Love is-

Love is pain.

Draco had to agree. Pain. Love. It was all the same. He knew, he could never feel love without feeling pain.

He loved his father; his father caused him pain.

He loved Harry; Harry caused him pain.

Love is pain.

x.x.x.x

"...Started on that essay, It's supposed to be really hard-"

"Nothing's hard for you, Hermione." Came the sulky voice of Ron Weasley, as a familiar trio, that had finally reunited, rounded around the corner.

"No, really. Snape even said-"

"Right." Ron said, ignoring his friend and sighing before noticing a certain blonde sitting on a bench near the castle. Ron's eyebrows rose slightly. Just like everyone else, he had noticed the peculiar behavior of Draco for a while.

"You've been really quiet lately..." Hermione started, turning towards Harry, her eyes knowing.

"Hm." Harry said absentmindedly, dragging his feet as he kept up with his friends.

Ron slowly shook his head, signalling Hermione not to push it. Harry kept his gaze on his trainers, noticing the many shades of dirt that decorated it.

x.x.x.x

Draco watched the exchanged quite intently, feeling his heart thud in his chest. He kept his eyes on Harry, the way he shuffled his feet and sighed every now and then.

The way his eyes seemed even more dead then before.

He slowly exhaled as Harry ran a hand through his disasterous hair. Draco smiled slightly to himself, remembering how they used to share a room. It felt so long ago, though had only just happened. Everytime Harry woke up, his hair was tangled, uneven and standing up in all directions possible.

Draco sighed, his hand ghosting over his face as he tried desperately from keeping the moisture from his eyes.

You remember, everything. You remember my pety taunts, the way I thought myself to be so much better. But Harry, you'll awlays be better, more noble and more pure. Your love will always be a strength, never a weakness. You'll never hurt anyone.

Besides me, I mean. Because you've hurt me without knowing... You've hurt me to the point that it's all I feel.

The pain is all I feel. But I welcome it.

Because the pain is love.

And it's true, I love you. And if the only way to feel that love is pain, so be it.

Let me love you, the pain doesn't matter.

Let me love you.

x.x.x.x

"Potter?" Draco said, hating himself for what he was about to do, but knowing it had to be done.

The library was eerily quiet and the Slytherin wondered why Harry chose to isolate himself at the back corner. His hands were slowly resting on the table, his head proped against one of them as he read sideways. Taking a closer look at the boy, Draco realized he wasn't reading. In fact, he was staring straight ahead of him, as if he were troubled and trying to sort out his problems.

But as soon as Draco's voice rang through the library, the stubborn Gryffindor's eyes narrowed and the distant expression became a hard and stony glare.

"Malfoy." He acknowleged, his body tensing up and his voice unbearably cold.

The pain doesn't matter. Draco told himself, trying to ignore the searing pain ripping through every bone in his body. The pain doesn't matter, if the love remains, the pain doesn't matter.

Harry's eyes were searching, looking curiously at Draco as though seeing him for the first time.

Let me love you. Even if you hate me, let me love you. Let me live on that one hope. Don't take it away, it's all I have.

"Finally starting to study for Potions?" He said, his voice as malice as he could manage it. "It's about time, though i'm fairly certain Snape doesn't mind marking your papers with the usual T's."

You already hate me. Hate causes pain.

Pain causes love.

There's nothing more to lose, i've lost it all.

There was a flicker of something in those emerald eyes, though it hardly lingered long enough for Draco to reflect on it. A familiar burning tingled behind his eyes and he looked away, studying a shelf of books neatly stacked away.

"At least I don't polish Snape's boots just so I can show precious daddy a good mark; though never high enough to beat Hermione. I wonder why? Been slacking, Malfoy?"

Draco stared at Harry for a moment before swallowing a lump that had lodged itself in his throat. "My father-" Draco was irritated that his voice was cracking. He cleared it before continuing on. Harry obviously didn't know that his father was dead.

I blame my death on you.

"My father would have been proud of any mark I brought him. He was proud of me generally, actually... You see, I'm the perfect son. Compared to someone that can't even be called a son, really, that's saying something, don't you think?"

Why I was so unfortunate to have you as a son, i'll never know...

Harry's eyes flashed. "I'd much rather be raised by no parents than by yours." He said angrily, his eyes looking like a storm in the brewing. "Perfect son? Why, because you're a selfish, power-hungry bastard? Oh, that's right, as the saying goes; Like father, like son."

The power I taught you to hold has diminished.

"Stop speaking about my father that way." Draco said, his voice hard, sudden feelings of hatred boiling in his chest, fogging his head.

Pain, intensifying pain.

Why did it hurt. Why did the hate hurt?

Because hate in it's own twisted way is love.

And the hate is pain and pain is love.

Hate.

You can dislike something without hating it.

Never to be taken lightly.

"I hate you, Harry."

Harry looked a bit surprised at the sudden outburst but slowly his face grew back into the stubborn, rigid, thoughtful facade.

"I hate you, too."

And Draco, even though the hatred was still there, the love was stronger. More pure. He knew, that now Harry's memory was back everything would go back to normal. The Slytherin's would soon slowly allow him back into their circle and never again would Harry and Draco cross paths, unless in some random fight.

But the fights hurt too much...

This time, Draco walked away, leaving behind a confused Harry.

Let me love you.

Let me love you, and everything will be okay.

Even if you hate me...

Because once you have loved,

Once you have loved,

It never fades.

x.x.x.x

A/N: This chapter was more flimsy. There wasn't any solid thoughts or actions, it was mroe of Draco and his thoughts. I'm not sure if I like the chapter, in fact, some of it, i'll admit, I despise. This is not over, by the way. As I wrote it, I realized it sounded like the end- but it isn't. Heh, but oh well. A bit short, the chapter is, but what can I do. If you guys really do hate the chapter, tell me so I can rewrite it, because I've already told you I hate it myself. So rewriting it wouldn't be too terrible!

This was angsty, truly and purely, and although I love angst, it's hard for me to write in such a blunt form. So, that's my excuse for this chapter's horribleness, though I know excuses don't cut it. Sorry :(

Thanks so much for the reviews. And you should all thank DMHP for this chapter, and their wonderful hypnotizing abilities. ;)

Redfox13: You and your compliments! I adore you and your crazy reviews! And I love how you keep your reviews light hearted and funny! And no way, you're never hyper (hyper is an understatement ;) Thanks so much for reviewing this fic, and for sticking by me. Your reviews are definately the ones I look most forward too, especially because they make ME feel giddy and flattered all at the same time. And you're always pyscho with happiness, but that's good! I love it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! (It might not be up to standards, but I hope it wasn't a let down)

Rachy: A lot of people have been asking me about why I didn't get Snape or Dumbledore to tell Harry about Draco, or to warn Draco of Harry's state. So, I answere dthis in one big blob in my first author note. It's much easier then typing it to tons of different people. I'm sorry for my laziness ;x However, on with your review: I'm really glad you caught the slight memory of Draco in Harry's mind. I tried to add it without being to obvious, but not too discrete either! I hope it was neither. And I know exactly what you mean, before Harry needed Draco for everything, and now Harry seems to not need him at all. Having Harry totally rely on Draco wouldn't give Harry's character enough depth, the thing I'm trying to introduce right now. Anyway, thanks for the wonderful review! And I hope this chapter wasn't too terrible.

theTigersFire: Heh, I don't think I'd stop the story if anyone were rude to me, because critism is what helps the writer, and also if one person likes the story, that's enough for me :) It might take a while to get fixed, but I promise you I could never keep these two apart for long.

wwwendy: Thanks for the review :) I do tend to be awful to the pair of them, but It builds up anxiety and emotions, and even though the emotions are slightly depressing, it makes the end that much better. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and all the ones to come!

AloraBraken: The pain of a broken heart; a very good idea, and a nice ending point. But I couldn't use that, because you see, in this chapter I showed the intensity of Draco's love and if he had a broken heart, it would be hard for him to love Harry like he does. Although, it was a very good idea, and when I was first thinking about how to end the chapter, I was leaning towards broken heart. But I chose betrayal for this main reason: Betrayal is what he felt towards Harry, because he'd created false hopes and promises, only to have them broken by the one he loved. That is a form of betrayal, though not very strong. Also, I didn't want Draco to have a broken heart because this chapter went into depth about the love he feels. Sorry, heh, that was a bit long Sheepish grin Anyway, as for your other points: Draco didn't deserve that, but I tried to make him know somewhere in the back of his head, that it would happen eventually. Also, the Harry leaving Draco alone was actually very hard for me write, I wasn't sure if I wanted him to leave like that, but in the end, the chapter wrote itself. And to your P.S: Oh finally! My friend thinks i'm a numbskull for still trusting Snape, but I do! Mostly because of the unbreakable vow! I don't like Snapes character too much, so it's not biased or anything, but I really do trust Snape! Thanks so much for the review, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! (I'm sorry for the insanely long reply, i'm crazy.)

NayNymic: The angst is the building blocks of which I built this story. I know sometimes it gets a bit depressing, and I know this chapter was hardly ending it, but I hope you can stand it a while longer. Thanks for reviewing anyhow, and if you did read this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it!

Green Eyed Dragon: Haha, it's true. Harry's acting as normal as he always has because he doesn't remember. I do twisted things like that, a story about Harry losing his memory only to lose it again; a bit confusing, actually. And Draco didn't do anything to drastic, well actually in a way he did. He pretended nothing happened and tried to make everything normal, which in itself is a huge mistake. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story thus far, and I hope this chapter was up to standards! Thanks so much for the review!

Miriam Mrirund: Aw thanks! I'm happy that you're not pushing me to update the story. It gives me a bit of breathing room, although sometimes the push is waht I need. And Draco, well the stupid thing he did was pretened nothing ever happened and tried to get everything back to normal. I guess you'll be the judge on where to put that on the stupid scale, heh. And my ego is already expanded and is slowly reaching the size of New York. Watch out, egocentric writers can be dangerous. Heres the update, I hope it wasn't too big of a disappointment.

Silver Emerald Eyes: This is long enough! Actually, any size review is long enough! I've just realized what you're saying; You've started school already? Ah, that's got to suck. I still have a month to go, which is a comforting thought, heh. And once school starts up again, I already know i'll be swamped. Hopefully I can get the majority (or maybe even all) of this fic finished before wretched school takes all my attention again. And i'm glad you caught the slight memory of Draco, it was all I could do for the moment. And I guess I made Draco not need and explanation, because he knew some day it would happen. Though maybe I'll add it in there, just to make it a little more fair to Draco. And Hermione and Ron don't know, but they know something is up. And no problem, it's my own fault that I have gaps between my updates, and I know how hard it gets to remember every last thing, especially when you're reading other fics as well. And I'm lazy all the time, it's not just limited to the middle of the night, haha. (But you see, I use the sleep thing as an excuse) Hope this is frequent enough of an update, and I hope the chapter wasn't to short/choppy/horrible. Thanks for the review, and sorry for the response (I swear, soon each response will turn into the size of a chapter)

DMHP: It seems your hypnotizing worked! Actually, in a way it did :P When I got your review it reminded me that I have a lot of loyal readers that are counting on another update soon, and that I have to get off my lazy bum and write something! I have been writing quite a lot lately, so why not write another chapter of this? So, I owe you a huge thanks for the wonderful push you gave me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well, and I know it's not great, but I hope you still are into it enought to read. :) Thanks for the reviews (To this and to my oneshots)!
To your second review: Ah, I have a few people clinging to me, I'm sure someone chained to me wont make too huge of a difference (Though i'll admit, it would be a bit uncomfortable ;) The twist was pure evil, and let let you in on a little secret; I have another little twist to add to the story. This one wont be AS evil, but I hope it'll surprise many of you. And Draco, yes he's not canon at all, Haha! But I thought since the war was over, and his father was dead I could add a bit of OCness for him. I hope it's not too big of a deal. (I'm putting him in character as best I can!) And thanks to your review, i'm going to be mistaken for the radishes when I go shopping for groceries today. (It's not a bad thing, except for the fact I hate raddishes)

SBR: Haha, too true. Angst is just crazy like that. Sometimes the angst in a fic can pile up to a point where you just want to cry and then sometimes it can be written very beautifuly so that you still want to cry, but at the same time you feel a sort of bitter sweet emotion. That's why its absolutely one of my favorite things to write. And, i'll let you in on a little secret. Crying is the hardest thing for me to write. There! I don't know if it's because when I make them cry, I feel as if I make them weak, or becaue it seems to out of character, but it's one emotion that I just can't grasp! I hope this chapter didn't take too long, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter (And even if you didn't I hope you still read) Thanks for the compliments/review!

Myniephoenix: Nothing works out for them is right, heh. Especially when cruel authors like me go around ripping at their every emotion! I hope you're enjoying the fic, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Checkmarks: I'm glad you love the story! And Draco is quite alone, but I have some plans for his lonley situation! And irony has many definitions (and trust me, it's something I can hardly keep track of) Irony is just another one of those confusing terms that make me pull out my hair. Other than that of course, I love it. Here's the update ;) I hope you liked it, and thanks for the review!

SaintEmo: Actually, I didn't have Dumbledore explain to Harry his intimate stay with Draco (full explanation is in the first A/N!) And Draco was being nice, true, but Harry wasn't used to it, so he thought it was pity. I'm sorry that the chapters have been slightly confusing, and I know they're getting even worse, but I hope you still enjoy the story over all! Thank you very much for your review, and I hope this chapter wasn't a disappointment!

Koseta: Aw, that's a huge compliment you just paid me! Knowing I can bring out that emotion in you makes me all flattered! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

memories of pain: I'm sorry xx; The angst can get a bit overwhelming, I know, but it wont end depressing like this, but they'll have to go through a bit more before the torture ends! I hope you liked this chapter, and I hope I don't cause you to cry (unless you want to) ever again!

Zoomaphonethepirate: I got it the SN without looking at the spelling once! (Ignore spelling errors ;) Thank you so much! I hope this chapter follows that pattern, as I have to admit, it's not my favorite. And it is sad, but I'll make it better soon :) That was actually my favorite part about the last chapter, and It's also introducing the next big plot point and twist (though you'll just have to wait to hear what it is ;P) And you're making me blush, you! Anyhow, thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Manny2003: I agree, it WAS the worst way for him to find out, but it was a huge help to the plot. This way, Draco didn't have any time to prepare for the sudden change and was affected greatly by it, which in turn helps me create the mood of his broken heart. (A bit hard to understand because I twisted it up, so I don't blame you if you didn't process a word ;) That's a horrible feeling, to feel so bad to the point of actually comitting suicide, but i'm trying to make Draco strong (and plus, I don't think the readers would appreciate it very much if I killed off Draco inthe middle of the story, heh) I'm glad you're still reading, and I hope this chapter was up to standards!

BlackNeonTears: Thank you:) I'm glad you find it beautiful, when people say that, it gets me all red! I'm also flattered you love the story, and happy endings are my favorite, so that's probably where this is heading. I hope you enjoyed teh chapter, and thank you for the wonderful review!

NightScanr3: Aw thanks :) I know exactly how you feel, even sometimes I don't review as much as I should, and get that guilty feeling in my gut. But as long as theres readers out there, I don't mind how many reviewers I get, so thanks for reading anyhow :) And Draco will suffer for some while, but I think the story is going to lead more into Harry's point of view after this ;) Heres the udpate, and I hope you like the chapter!

Like Totally Like: Your review was a bit scary in the sense that I couldn't tell if you were joking or actually insulting me (while at the same time as giving me a compliment,weird I know) But I hope you're only joking and even if you aren't you're totally entitled to your own opinion. I'm sure a lot of readers think I was too harsh in the way of presenting Draco to the situation, and my explanation in my first A/N tries to reason the best I could. And I like to think I'm not retarded, and I don't want to get shot, heh (but I'm assuming not many people do) and I DO have a plan, so just work with me for a bit, and i'll try to stop being so cruel to the pair :) Thanks for the review and I hope you don't hate this chapter. (Because your reviews get a bit scary when you don't, heh)

xox-Rachelle-oxo: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope you like this one as well! I like to think that i'm updating more frequently, and I hope this one wasn't too far away from the last post. Well, thanks for reading and reviewing (not only this, but every story/one shot i've ever written. You're wonderful)

Nony: I rather like them both. ;) I'll try to mix in a bit of both, but that might not happen for a while. At least until I get this angsty tangle out of the way. And thanks so much wipes forhead as if she just ran a marathon but really she was sitting on her lazy bum all day It's good to know my reviewers are dedicated to this story enough to wait a while for updates, because I do tend to get busy (at the most unfortunate times, too) and It's sometimes hard to write when you're stressed (although sometiems it's a great stress reliever. I know, nice and contradicting for you) Well, I hope you liked this chapter and enjoy all the ones to come!

Anux: Heh, aw! At least you get to hug Draco, I know i'd kill to have him all to myself. (But actually, he fits a lot better with Harry; Kind of like when you're doing a puzzle where you know the pieces don't go together, and still they connect, leaving you with a distorted image, but the pieces are still holding) I know, where did that comparison come from? (It's better if you don't ask, heh) I hope you liked the update, and thanks for your review!

Draco'sGirlForAlways: Awww thanks! That's a huge compliment and you've really fed my ego let me tell yah ;) And you know, a compliment that made me blush is your mentioning of poetry; I do write poetry, but I'm not confident enough to post it. That's why you've flattered me beyond belief. I love you! I hope you enjoyed this update, and all the ones to come!

ConfusedHeart: I'm glad it's a good thing. Sometimes reviewers tell me they don't like it, but I know that fics that make me cry only to have me get a huge surge of happiness are the best kinds. This story has a few more chapters to go, and It will be hard to let it go, since I've spent a year on it (Much more time than I did on My Enemy) But I have many idea's for new fics that I've been dying to start! Thanks for the reviews and support you've given me since I first started writing, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Dark Angel's Blue Fire: Ahh, sorry, I think it's ones even more shorter! It's not a good length at all! I'm really sorry! I'm glad you like the chapter, and I'll try making longer chapters! Thanks for the review!

Makalani Astral: Explanation is in the first A/N, heh. I know, i'm mean to Draco, but I hope it's all explained up there! Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

LivetoDie: Aw haha, its alright. I know, life can be very hectic at times and sometimes its hard to update! And what about you? Still only got that one-shot! Come on and write something! You have lots of talent you know! And the spelling is probably chaotic in this one, heh, but oh well! Thanks much, and enjoy ;)

Edwards-Ebed: Multiple personalites! How fun! Haha, here's the update! I hope it wasn't too disappointing, but I tried my hardest! And are you serious? The best! I can feel my cheeks burning up already! You are just too sweet! I love you:)

Poof: Yeah, I made Harry a bit psychotic in the first few chapters, but he's coming back to normal! And Draco, well lots happens with them soon! Thanks for the compliments and the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

AmorLunaris: Haha! Well, if Harry had remembered the fic would have been over! I have many more twists and turns to add to the story and I hope you enjoy them! And thanks for reviewing, and I tend to write cliffhangers a lot, I get more horrible with each update!

Shadow

P.S: My review responses are, I think, bigger than my chapter. That's utterly embarrassing, haha. Either I don't know when to stop my rambling with the responses or my chapters are just a disgrace to my writing. Oh well, I'll try to make them longer from now on! Thanks for the reviews, lovely readers! I adore you all!