A/N: I'm so so so so so SORRY! I'm leaving for Denmark for a whole year on student exchange in eight days and I have not been on the computer very much. Here's another chapter.
Disclaimer: If you haven't figured out by now that I don't own this, too bad for you.
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Chapter Thirteen: Nightmares and Potions
She found herself on the ground, wrists and ankles firmly bound as she stared at Harry in horror. The men in masks laughed at her cry, but Jessica's attention was on Harry. His face was bruised and his gaze seemed barely conscious and riddled with pain. It was almost as though he did not see her.
Voldemort gestured to two of the nearby men. They proceeded towards her, picked her up and carried her back to the circle, where they dropped her rather unceremoniously onto the ground at Voldemort's feet. She felt the air fly out of her lungs and she laid there, suddenly unable to breathe, gasping for air. The men in the circle laughed softly again. As she slowly regained the ability to breathe once more, she looked up. Voldemort stared down at her, the same cruel smile on his lips that she had seen only a little before as he had gazed down at Harry.
"Hello, Jessica Banks," Voldemort said. That cold voice froze Jessica's blood in her veins as he spoke her name. And it must have shown in her eyes, as all her thoughts did, because that smile grew wider. He pointed his wand at her, and spoke a single word, in a cold, yet somehow amused voice. "Crucio."
Pain tore through her and Jessica screamed. It was ten, twenty, a million times worse than the necklace had been and she had barely managed to stand that. Jessica's whole body writhed in agony and she could feel hot tears leaving her eyes from the pain.
Let me die, let me die. Death would be easier than this, Jessica thought in her agony. And then, miraculously, it was over as suddenly as it had begun. She lay on the ground, aching all over and shivering like she had been tossed out into the snow. The men around her laughed again. Jessica could not stop shivering, a reaction which seemed to please Voldemort. For he too laughed.
"Our last witness has arrived," Voldemort said softly. "And now it comes to it. Untie his feet, Wormtail, and make him stand. And you Lucius, the same with the girl."
Jessica found herself being raised from the ground, the rope around her feet suddenly gone and she stood, still shaking, before the dark lord. Voldemort's attention, however, was on Harry, who seemed nearly unable to stand.
"Goodbye, Harry," Voldemort said, softly, and then, in contrast, he shouted, "AVADA KEDAVRA!" A flash of green light issued from the tip of Voldemort's wand and struck Harry right in the middle of the chest. Harry crumpled to the ground, his expression dead and gone. Jessica screamed in agony and the men laughed at her, and both sounds filled the air...
And suddenly, Jessica felt a slap to her face. Her eyes snapped open to find not Madame Pomfrey standing over her but Professor McGonagall. And, off to the side stood Dumbledore. But behind Dumbledore stood someone she had not expected to see. Professor Snape.
"Forgive my methods, Miss Banks," McGonagall said. "But it seemed that you would not wake otherwise."
"What happened, Miss Banks?" Dumbledore asked.
"The nightmare," Jessica whispered, closing her eyes. The image of Harry's crumpled body swam before her eyes again, and she felt like crying.
"The same one?" Dumbledore's voice forced her out of her grief, for while it was not harsh, it demanded an answer. She shook her head.
"No, a continuation, of the last one. He, he used the Cruciatus Curse on me. And then... he-" A sob cut off any further words. She feared that if she spoke the words, they would become true.
"Yes, Miss Banks?" Dumbledore asked.
"H-he-" Again a sob kept her from finishing her sentence. Tears ran freely down her cheeks, a rare occurrence, since she never cried in public.
"Miss Banks." Dumbledore's tone once more shook her to her senses. This time she met his eyes, and a strange sort of calm washed over her. She felt safe. "Tell me what Voldemort did then."
"He made both of us stand," Jessica said. "And then he killed Harry." Despite the calming influence of Dumbledore's gaze, she felt the tears coming again. Silence fell for a moment. Then Dumbledore sighed and broke their gaze. Jessica began to cry, shaking violently as she did so, and she felt Professor McGonagall wrap her arms around her. Jessica cried into the robes of the Gryffindor head of house. After a few minutes she broke away, wiping at her eyes.
"Jessica," Dumbledore said, "you need to understand something. These nightmares you are having are just nightmares. They are nothing more."
"But they seem so-" Jessica began
"Real?" Dumbledore nodded. "I know. But they are only nightmares nevertheless."
"But, why, am I having them now, when I've never had them before?" Jessica asked.
"Because, Miss Banks, the Dark Lord takes pleasure in breaking the spirit of those who are his enemies," Snape said, speaking at last. "These dreams are his attempt to break you."
Jessica stared, for a moment, then asked, "So you are telling me that Volde-" Snape's eyes flashed warningly. "-er, the Dark Lord, is the one sending me these dreams?"
"Yes," Dumbledore said, and Snape nodded curtly. "It seems they only reach when you are not under the influence of a dreamless sleep potion."
"But, how is he sending these dreams to me? I mean I'm not wearing the necklace anymore." She looked back and forth between Snape, Dumbledore and McGonagall, but all of their faces had gone curiously blank. What in the world is going on? Jessica wondered.
"We are not sure how, Jessica," Dumbledore said. "We simply know that he is doing it. But is imperative that you remember, these dreams are nothing but dreams. They will be filled with falsehoods, and you must not believe any information you gather when you have them."
Jessica closed her eyes and once more saw Harry's still form, those dead eyes. "It's hard," she whispered. "It's hard not to believe it."
"As hard as it may be, Miss Banks, you will have to do it," Snape's voice told her curtly.
"I just want to be able to sleep without having another nightmare," she said after a moment.
"And you will," Dumbledore said, then he turned to Snape. "Severus, if you would."
Snape approached the bed and took the cup from the bedside table. He poured something from a potion bottle into the cup, then handed the cup to Jessica after setting the potion down on the table.
Jessica looked at the cup curiously. "A dreamless sleep potion?" she guessed.
Snape's lip began to curl, but it stopped and his expression returned to normal at a glance from Dumbledore. "Hardly. No, that potion will temporarily duplicate the effects of Occlumency. It will stop the dreams, Miss Banks."
"What's Occlumency?" She'd never heard of it before, and she'd never heard Hermione mention the name, though it didn't mean Hermione didn't know what it was.
Snape stared, almost as though astonished she had dared to ask. "Occlumency," he said very slowly, as though explaining something to a daft child, "is the magical defense of the mind against external penetration."
Jessica thought for a moment. "Well," she said carefully, "wouldn't it make more sense for me to learn Occlumency then? Instead of just taking a potion that would duplicate its effects? I mean, what if I run out of potion or I'm not in a place where I can get to it? Then what?"
Jessica could have sworn she saw a twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes. She looked back at Snape. His eyes had gone cold, more so than usual. "Then you deal with the dreams Miss Banks."
"Drink the potion, Jessica," Dumbledore said. Without another word Jessica raised the glass to her lips and drank. She nearly gagged on the potion, which tasted foul, but seeing Snape's eyes on her, with that calculating look that made her feel as though he were taking her measure, she managed to force it down.
"I will be leaving that bottle here," Snape said. "You are to take no more than a quarter of a cup each night. If you do not take it I will ensure that you are restricted to the hospital wing and that Madame Pomfrey administers it. Once you have finished with that bottle, you are to come to me for more." He watched her reaction to this, then spoke again. "Each bottle should last you one week, Miss Banks. If you skip taking the potion and come to me a day late, I will know." Jessica nodded slowly.
Dumbledore smiled, then said, "Now then, you need to go back to sleep. And we will leave." He turned to go and Snape, after looking at her a moment, followed. McGonagall looked at Jessica.
"Would you like me to stay, Miss Banks?" Jessica felt a small smile find its way to her face. She shook her head. McGonagall looked at her a moment, then headed out the door, leaving Jessica alone in the hospital wing. Jessica laid back but didn't close her eyes, knowing the moment she did, Harry's dead body would appear before her again. Whether or not she had the dreams, that image, she felt, would remain with her for a very long time. She stared up at the ceiling and thought.
Snape's words came back to her, striking her suddenly. Voldemort took pleasure in breaking his enemies, he'd said. If these dreams were his attempt to break her, then that meant she was an enemy. While it was hardly surprising, since she was sure he considered all who did not side with him an enemy, she could not think of anything about her that deserved such special attention. If anything, he should be sending such dreams to Harry...
She gasped despite herself. Harry. That had to it. The necklace had caused her to break up with Harry, but once she'd made it clear she still trusted his friends, she'd started having the nightmares. Voldemort must have realized, that without the necklace to stop her, she would make up with Harry, and so he had chosen her as a target. She felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. If the two of them began dating again Voldemort would be able to hurt Harry through her. He must have expected her to go back to being Harry's girlfriend, and then by breaking her, with the dreams, he would be able to hurt Harry.
She couldn't, wouldn't let Voldemort do that. Her eyes teared as she realized what that meant. She could not go back to dating Harry, as much as she may have wanted to. She would have to make sure they both stayed separated. She, would have to give up on him, much as she had before. Only this time it would be harder. Because she was not mad at him, on the contrary, she could not have liked him more at the time.
Jessica closed her eyes with a sigh. The image of a dead Harry sprang to mind immediately. I'll do anything, to keep him from ending up like that, she thought fiercely. I will do everything in my power to keep him alive.
x x x x x
Jessica woke late the next morning. True to his word, Professor Snape's potion had kept her sleep free of nightmares, though Harry's dead face kept coming back to haunt her. But aside from that she had slept soundly. Madame Pomfrey was fussing around her again, trying to find some reason to keep Jessica in the hospital wing for another day, since she had agreed Jessica could leave after the last class was let out. Jessica spent the day rehearsing what she would say to Harry if he asked her to go out with him again. By the time the bell rang signaling lunchtime, she felt certain that she could handle it if he asked her. Madame Pomfrey practically threw a fit when Jessica asked to have what the rest of the students were eating down in the Great Hall but Jessica stood her ground and finally she had a house elf bring up some food. They were having shepherd's pie, one of Jessica's favorite meals. And it was good to be drinking pumpkin juice again instead of twenty different potions.
Jessica spent the last hours before classes were over counting the minutes in sheer boredom. She had nothing to do and if Madame Pomfrey had allowed her to, she would have spent the time pacing. When the bell rang signaling that the last lesson of the day was over, Madame Pomfrey reluctantly allowed Jessica to change back into the dress robes she had originally been wearing when she had arrived in the hospital wing. Jessica picked up the potion bottle Snape had left at her bedside and proceeded towards Gryffindor Tower.
It was very strange seeing the looks on people's faces as she walked through the halls. They were looking at her as though she were a ghost. But then, she supposed she too would be surprised if someone disappeared for four days and then suddenly reappeared in the halls wearing dress robes. Nevertheless, she hurried along, trying to get away from the stares of her fellow students.
She reached the entrance to the Gryffindor Common room at the same time as her friends Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Harry smiled, Ron said hello and Hermione put her hand over her mouth, like she was struggling not to laugh.
"What?" Jessica asked Hermione as they said the password and walked into the common room.
"It's just that you look like you just woke up," Hermione said. "And the dress robes really make you stick out."
Jessica caught sight of herself in the mirror and laughed. "I do look like I just woke up." She walked away from the mirror and made a beeline for the girls' dormitories.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked, following her across the common room.
"To get some robes, so I can go and get a shower," Jessica said. "I haven't been allowed one since Madame Pomfrey got me under her thumb." Jessica thought she heard Harry snicker but she headed up the stairs to the girls dorms and he turned around and began talking to Ron.
It was quiet up in the dorm and Jessica closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and enjoying the peace.
The door opened behind her and Hermione's voice said, "Are you all right?"
She nodded, not opening her eyes. "Fine. It's good to be back here is all." She opened her eyes and smiled at Hermione, before proceeding to her trunk and digging out clothes and bathing materials.
As she did this, she glanced over at Hermione and asked, "Hey, how long do we have before dinner?"
Hermione glanced at her watch. "Oh, about twenty minutes."
Jessica did some mental figuring in her head. "Ok, that should be enough time," she said closing her trunk and heading out of the dorm.
Harry and Ron were now sitting on one of the couches working on some sort of essay. Jessica walked by then saying, "Hey guys, I'll see you for dinner ok?"
Ron didn't even look up and Harry gave a half-hearted wave over his shoulder. As she left the common room, she heard Hermione saying, "Harry, you don't use distilled essence of acionite in a Draught of Peace!" Jessica smiled and headed off to get her shower.
x x x x x
Twenty minutes later, Jessica walked into the Great Hall. She was back in school uniform, and even better she was clean again. She smiled as she entered the Great Hall and for the first time in weeks, she went over and sat down next to Harry. The rest of the Gryffindors looked at her kind of funny, but said nothing. It was probably, she thought, due to the fact that the last time anyone here had seen her, she had been with Draco, and now she was sitting next to Harry. She grimaced at what the other girls in her dorm would think. They'd think she was playing Harry. Oh, well, she'd have to deal with that when the time came. Besides, she thought firmly, she was not going to date Harry. Or Draco. For that matter she didn't think she would be dating anyone for a while. Not until it was safe to do so. She, she could not afford to allow anyone close to her, not now that she knew Voldemort had decided she was worthy of his attention.
"Jessica, are you all right?" Harry's voice broke into her thoughts. The food had appeared and she had failed to serve any, which, she supposed, was what had prompted his question. She smiled reassuringly at him.
"Fine," she said. "I was just thinking." She began piling food onto her plate, smiling. The prospect of eating something that actually had substance was very appealing.
"Thinking about what?" Ron asked curiously. Ever since Harry and her had made-up in the hospital wing, he seemed like he was trying to be nice to her to make up for ignoring her like Harry. Maybe she was wrong though, but either way, it was amusing seeing him try to make conversation.
"Oh, just, things," she said rather vaguely, in hopes he would not follow up on it and her hopes were granted. Ron nodded and went back to eating. Hermione looked up from her plate at Jessica.
"When were going to get your assignments?" she asked.
"Oh, I was thinking I'd just get them tomorrow," Jessica said. "None of the teachers will be in their classrooms after dinner anyway."
"Oh," she said. "Because Snape gave us an essay and it's due tomorrow."
"Well, he should let me off the hook, I think," Jessica said, rather hopefully.
"Don't bet on it," Harry said darkly. "He's been nothing short of cruel for the last few days. I actually managed to do a decent job on one of his potions and he refused to give me any points because the mist rising off of it was 'more yellow than orange and therefore this potion is poisonous and utterly useless'. Jessica snickered at Harry's imitation of Snape's voice, because it was actually decent. Harry, however only continued to look angry. "I hate him. I don't care if he is one our side, he's evil."
"He can be all right," she said softly. Harry looked at her, a question in his eyes. "I, was having nightmares and he gave me something that would, take care of them."
"Personally, I wouldn't trust anything he gave me," Ron said. "Who knows what he's done to it?"
"He had made it under Dumbledore's instructions, Ron," Jessica said. Her voice held a gentle rebuke. "I doubt he would have done anything to it." To her surprise, Ron turned slightly red and turned back to his food.
Silence ruled over their portion of the table for a bit as all they did was eat. Somewhere down the table large amounts of laughter could be heard, undoubtably caused by the Weasley twins. They had recently taken to pushing the rules as far as they could without getting expelled. While she found them amusing, she wondered how much longer Snape and Filch would tolerate their antics without completely emptying the Gryffindor House Points hourglass.
She looked across the hall at the Slytherin table. Draco was surrounded by Pansy and her group of friends and she was talking animatedly with him. Draco looked over at her table, saw she was sitting with Harry and his friends, and he gave her a very cold sort of look before turning to Pansy and saying something.
Whatever it was he said, it caused Pansy to squeal rather loudly. "Oh, Draco, I'd love to go to the next Hogsmeade weekend with you!" Her voice carried across the tables. Jessica was the only one who seemed to notice. But Draco looked back at her and Jessica knew that he'd meant for her to hear it. She sighed, and avoided his gaze. He had to be very annoyed if he'd reverted to asking out Pansy to get back at her, Jessica knew that he hated the ditsy Slytherin girl. She had a feeling Draco had done that on purpose. She wished there had been some way to keep him from being angry at her, but she could understand. From his point of view, it probably looked as if she and Harry had gotten back together. While she knew that was not going to happen, she also knew he didn't know that and she had a feeling that telling him so would be difficult.
The four of them finished dinner and headed up to the Gryffindor Common Room again. Jessica headed straight up to bed, saying goodnight first to Hermione, who was reading yet another book, and then to Harry and Ron, who were working on what must have been the Potions essay. Up in the dormitory she changed into her pajamas, then, with the hangings pulled shut around her bed she drew out the photo album. This time, she leafed through all the pages looking at the pictures of her grandmother carefully. It was strange, but tonight she felt no overwhelming grief about not having a grandmother anymore, just a kind of remote sadness. Wisely, she closed the album before such a feeling could grow worse and put it away before climbing into bed. She was just drifting off when Lavender and Parvati burst into the dorm, chattering rather loudly. With a sigh, Jessica opened her eyes, and suddenly she remembered the potion she was supposed to take. She pushed open the curtains around her bed. Parvati and Lavender stared a bit but she smiled at them and they smiled back.
"Hello, Parvati, Lavender," she said, opening the potion bottle and filling a cup a quarter of the way. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm good," Lavender answered, and Parvati just nodded. Lavender looked at the potion bottle a moment, then said, "What is that?"
"Potion I have to take," she said. She downed it quickly and grimaced at its taste. "Horrid stuff. Hey, what did we do in Divination?" While for the most part she didn't care, it would be nice to know what to expect when she asked Trelawney for make-up work. And Ron had not been much help in that regard, except for his casual reference to a dream diary.
"Oh, we started on dream interpretation!" Parvati said excitedly, and then she was off, talking excitedly about how her dream was a symbol of her coming fame or something of the sort. Jessica smiled, nodded and made exclaimations of excitement in all the proper places, but in reality she paid little attention. She could just imagine how Trelawney would react to her nightmares. The old bat would say that they needed little interpretation. Her nightmares would be 'a symbol of the tragedy' which supposedly ruled over both hers and Harry's lives. Jessica vowed silently to make something up rather than to tell Trelawney about the nightmares.
After perhaps another twenty minutes, conversation between the three of them became so punctuated with yawns that they all decided to go to bed and Jessica tumbled into it, grateful to finally be free from Parvati's incessant chatter. She fell asleep quickly and thankfully Snape's potion worked, effectively keeping the nightmares at bay. Her dreams, which she did not remember the next morning, were blissfully Voldemort free.
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Reviewer Thanks:
PippinsMyHobbit: Sorry to keep you in suspense, but for the most part I can't answer your questions. But I can tell you one thing. Even though she was under the influence of the necklace, which made her like Draco (obviously, since he hates Muggle-borns), she still was capable of making accurate observations. And she saw something good behind Draco's Mudblood hating act.
I can't promise anything too soon but reviews help!!