I know I haven't written anything for a zillion years but I thought I should write up this. Even though I say it myself, I think this chapter is better than the other. Even though it's sort of more Jareth bashing. I hope you guys don't mind too much! I love Jareth really. It's just fun to make fun of people.

Note: I do not own the words off Labyrinth but I do own the ones not off Labyrinth...Ok, well technically I think the dictionary people own the actual words, but I own the phrases. Unless someone has already copyrighted them. Which in that case, I own nothing. Nothing. Tra la la.

Sarah suddenly lands in the middle of the Goblin court, just before Jareth bursts into song.

Sarah (Angrily) What on earth am I doing her?

Jareth Uhh…I dunno. Wanna hear a song?

Sarah: Err….Ok.

Sarah storms off and goes and sits down on the steps of the Goblin Court. The goblins run around quickly getting into place for the song. Jareth turns around and starts sings to a Goblin (slightly odd I know). Why he does this in the film I'll never know.

Jareth You remind me of the baby

Sarah What are you on? HE'S A GOBLIN FOR GOODNESS SAKE'S! HE'S GREEN AND UGLY! HOW DOES HE REMIND YOU OF A BABY

Goblin What baby?

Jareth (Ignoring Sarah's outburst) Baby with the power

Sarah Power? Power to do what? Poop in his diaper?

Some of the goblins snigger at Jareth but he valiantly ignores them and tries to continue with his song.

Goblin What power?

Jareth Power of voodoo

Sarah: Oh yeh right…you should see his voodoo dances. They're really great. NOT! HE CANT EVEN WALK YET! HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO VOODOO?

Goblin Who do?

Jareth You do

Sarah Kung foo….sorry. I just felt like rhyming.

Goblin Do what? Jareth: Remind me of the baby

Sarah (mutters under breath) Imbecile…. I think all the hair spray on his mullet has affected his brain.

Jareth I saw my baby, crying hard as babe could cry

Sarah Hmmm, I wonder why…MAYBE BECAUSE SOME JERK WEARING A CLOAK AND TIGHTS KIDNAPPED HIM?

Jareth What could I do?

Sarah: How about give him back you stupid son of a-

(Author Note: If anyone asks, Sarah was about to say "person".)

Jareth (interrupts and starts singing louder) My baby's love had gone
And left my baby blue

Sarah The only reason I went away is cause you stuck me in this stupid maze! Which, by the way, sucks.

Jareth Nobody knew

Jareth What kind of magic spell to use
Goblin Slime and snails
Goblin Or puppy dogs' tails
Goblin Thunder or lightning

Sarah Two complaints. A) How would some "magical" spell help to shut up my crying baby brother? Did you even think about feeding him? Or changing his diaper? B) What does slime snails or any of the rest of that junk have to do with magic spells?

Jareth Then baby said

Sarah: HE CAN'T EVEN TALK YET! YOU MORON!

Jareth Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me

Sarah Boy, is this song repetitive….

Jareth Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby, make him free

Sarah You lay one finger on my baby brother and I'll personally see to it so that you're scalped. In a very painful way.

Jareth (Singing in a very paniced tone) I saw my baby, trying hard as babe could try
What could I do

Sarah Trying to do what? This song barely rhymes and doesn't even make sense…what a load or rubbish.

Jareth My baby's fun had gone
And left my baby blue

Sarah Probably the reason he was so upset was because you kept singing weird songs at him and comparing him to a Goblin!

Jareth Nobody knew

What kind of magic spell to use

Sarah Ok I have had enough of this. This song has clearly gone on long enough. I get the idea, you like dancing. And wearing tights. Can we please carry on with the movie now?

Jareth But-but-I didn't even get to the grand finale.

Sarah (Sighs) Ok, skip to the last verse.

Jareth (starts singing enthusiastically) Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby

Sarah (Through gritted teeth) I have already warned you about that.

Jareth Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic
Slap that slap that baby make him free

Jareth walks over to Toby, picks him up and tosses him in the air (scarily high) whilst singing.

Sarah That's it, I've had enough. First you threaten to slap my brother, now you try to squash him. You're going down!

Sarah rugby tackles Jareth to the floor (don't worry, the Goblin caught Toby) and starts pulling his hair, causing him to squeal like a girl.

Sarah And another thing! That song was rubbish. Even Toby could write a better one. Or at least gurgle a better one.

Jareth I'd like to see you do a better one!

Sarah Fine! I will. Cue the music. Go to the chorus.

A large group of female backing singers conveniently pop up out of thin air, all wearing tights and a cape similar to that of Jareths in the opening sequence.

(Ok, this is the verse they are singing, I have tried to make the words fit the song. Here it is:

Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby, make him free

I am sorry if you don't like my version…I tried my best.)

Sarah (singing to the tune of Magic Dance) Dance Jareth, dance

Backing singers Prance Jareth Prance!

Sarah Dance in those pants!

Backing singers We love his pants.

Sarah: Put that Jareth trance on me,

Move your body, 1, 2, 3!

Jareth In my case, I think you mean very good-looking body.

Jareth preens his mullet fondly whilst the Backing singers drool over him.

SarahYou do know you just ruined my whole song there! I was doing great as well…

Jareth Oh please! You weren't even dancing well. You have to do it like this…

Jareth starts demonstrating his supreme dancing skills, all of the backing singers gawping at him and muttering to themselves about how they wish they could dance like that etc…

One of the backing singers Would I be able to have a lock of your hair?

Other backing singer Also, where did you buy those wonderful tights? I'm thinking of buying some like that….

Sarah Oh please. I'm going to go back to the Maze. Anything must be better than this.

Jareth Close the door on your way out!

Sarah (Grumbling to herself) I though he was supposed to be in love with me? Stupid flirty backing singers….I hope they fall into an oubliette. Or even better, the bog of eternal stench. I bet Jareth wouldn't want to talk to them then!

And so, Sarah returned to the Labyrinth moaning about how "It's not fair" and her usual moany complaints, all in an effort to hide her obvious jealousy.

Feel free to review me i.e. pretty pretty pretty please review me. If you don't, I'll hunt you down and give you a mullet. (Joking, I wouldn't hunt you down. I'd get someone else too.) Leave all comments etc, constructive criticism and ideas of what to do next.

Author notes:

Becka Boo: I'm glad it made you laugh. Even if you are weird… Just kidding. I hope you like this chapter as much as the other one!

Gi Xian: Thanks for sticking up for me. You are too nice! This chapter, I thought was better. Hopefully you've love it as much as the other one! Sorry for not reviewing your story recently...I hang my head in shame.

Dreaming Mouse: Well done for pointing out the spelling mistake. I never seem to be able to spot them in my own work….hopefully there aren't too many in this chapter.

Moonjava: You thought it was funny? Yay! That was the aim. I am trying to write more funny stories. Do you like this chapter as well?

RilkaGreenRider: Nice to know I'm not the only one who thought those lyrics were weird…I still don't understand them. Poor strange Jareth and his weird lyrics.

Layla Wendel: Thank you for reviewing! You are lovely. I'll try to get round to reviewing some of your stories too.

ItsACrystalNothingMore: Here is another labyrinth song for you! Did it live up to your expectations? I'm surprised you found the other chapter so funny…I didn't think it was that good.

Luverofsong: Thank you for complimenting my work. It is very nice of you to take the time. Heres the next chapter!

Molko-surprises-me: Hee hee! I wish I had been there. I can't believe it actually made you laugh out loud! YAY FOR ME! I hope this chapter makes you laugh out loud too.

anny180: You must be very witty to have been thinking those comments then…Just joking. Thanks for reviewing! Here's another chapter for you.

PrinceJoker: I am only insulting him in fun. I really do love Jareth! He is great. And his outfits are so cool….. I just thought the comments were funny.

Ari Mizuko: Oh you! You're making me blush with pride. You are too complimentary. Thanks for saying its great!

Gothhippie13: How do I know you're not a performing monkey? You could just be a very clever one who has learnt how to access the Internet.

LadyAniviel: Sigh, if only I could come up with funny comebacks in real life. I am, sadly, only usually writing down funny. Anyhows, thanks for the compliments!

The Fideal: I did have fun writing this chapter! Even though it is currently very late at night and I should be in bed… anyhows, I'm pleased you enjoyed the story so much.

AmandaTheVampireLover: You cant believe how surprised I am that you have reviewed! You are sort of like the L.J.Smith of fanfiction. A great mysterious writer who no one ever knows much about. Thank you so much for your review! It was what inspired me to write this chapter. P.S Sorry if I sound like a weirdo but in truth I am one.