A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long to put up. I have had a brain block these last couple of days and couldn't come up with anything remotely interesting for this chapter. I'll admit, the final product isn't all that exciting either. It was weird! I have the next two chapters after this written, but I just couldn't find the words to express what Butler is up to within this chapter.

A/N 2: Thank you to all those who reviewed, even if most of you called me evil. :( Oh well, I did set myself up for it, practically encouraged it, in fact. Never doing that again.

Chapter 5

Butler's Exploits

Butler was currently sneaking up to Fowl Manor. He cautiously approached the west wall, which was on the left side of the main gate. He wasn't afraid of being caught by the patrolling guards; his mysterious past had taught him how to get around that. Instead, he was wary of his own devices planted around the perimeter of the Manor walls. The land mines and proximity sensors were suppose to keep intruders out, not Butler. Silently Butler cursed his own extreme security measures.

Butler had chosen to enter the confine on this wall because there was a small gate, nearly inaccessible without the proper code or half a case of dynamite. Butler didn't have any dynamite on him, so luckily he had the code. He quietly sneaked up to the gate. There were no guards standing outside of it which made Butler believe there must be some right on the other side. Sure enough, when Butler pulled out his specialized binoculars and switched it to x-ray mode, he could see one guard on standing duty on the other side of the gate and at least two more guards patrolling the nearby area.

The body guard's chances were slim that he could open the thick and creaky gate, take out the guard on the other side, and make it across the wide open court yard without half of the other guards firing a couple of rounds each into his back. These weren't the stupid gooneys of movies that just wouldn't notice him or would wait before shooting, rather trained and seasoned guards that would kill him right away. Very slim chances for Butler, unless everyone was distracted and a distraction was exactly what Artemis' Plan A was all about.

Still looking through the x-ray binoculars, Butler saw a cab pull up to the main entrance and a person step out of it. Butler had broken quite a few speed limits to get to the Manor before Artemis. The manservant had to park the Bentley on the other side of the woods he was now hiding in and hike quickly through them. He had arrived just in time because Plan A had to be timed just right. Hopefully all of Artemis' deductions would prove accurate for one wrong move in this crowd would mean instant death.

Butler could only watch as his charge was led to the Fowl's family room. He could no longer see the boy because the x-ray feature could only see through so many walls at a time. Not put out, Butler just switched his viewing to the infrared feature and the Manor was illuminated in red. Now Butler could see his charge, the body standing with a confidently straight back. He was being questioned by another individual in the room. Shortly thereafter, Artemis was being led back onto the grounds. It appeared Plan A was going along exactly as scheduled.

Butler got up from the place he had been sitting and prepared to act. He went up to the gate and opened the lid to a small metal box hanging on the gate itself. Inside the gate was an average looking number pad. Butler checked the status of the guards once again. They were drawing away from the gate, all of them. The were converging around, Artemis who was standing by one of Butler's hidden devices. Now was the time to act.

The Eurasian man typed in the 20 digit code to the lock on the gate. It beat a note of acceptance and Butler heard the click meaning it had unlocked itself. As quietly as he could, Butler opened the gate only as far as he needed to slip through. He quickly scanned the grounds, trying to find a somewhat sheltered way straight across the wide area and to the back door. Luckily he was on the side of the Manor meaning the house itself would block Butler from view after a quick sprint. Butler may not have been as young as he once was, but he was ready to make the run. He checked on Artemis. He was holding up 2 fingers already. Everyone in the yard was only concentrating on the boy now, they wouldn't notice the giant man doing the Macarena out in the yard right now. Butler ran for it. He had to get to the side of the building quickly, or there was the slight chance he could get stuck in the blast. Normally, it wouldn't have mattered, as he always wore earplugs in events such as this, but today the giant Eurasian man had given up his earplugs for Artemis to use.

Butler was full out running right now. He chose a path behind some bushes that only came up to his chest so that he could see his charge's fingers. There were four up now. Butler put on an extra burst of speed as he was only half there. Five fingers up. Six fingers up. Finally, Butler reached the shelter of the stone wall of the side of the house. He leaned up beside it, catching his breath, and felt a shock wave through the rough stones against his back. He didn't have time to spare. Britva would assemble nearly all of his men very shortly to redistribute them. The only guards that would be left in the building would be those specifically guarding the Fowl couple. That would give him the open path he needed to get up into the "control room" as he liked to call it.

Butler made his way along the wall and rounded the corner. He then made his way along the back wall to the door on that side. This door was made mostly for deliveries, but now it was the perfect way in without being detected. When he got to the stairway, Britva's back was to him. The mafiya leader was standing in the doorway, staring out at his now unconscious men, in a sort of shocked trance.

By the time Butler had made it to the top of the stairs and nearly around the corner and out of sight, the Russian man had shaken himself out of his trance and had sent out a call on the Mafiya's communication devices for all remaining guards to assemble in the main foyer except for those guarding the Fowl couple. Butler glanced back in time to see Artemis approach Britva. The manservant jumped behind a giant decorative vase in the hallway to hide from the coming guards, and to listen to the conversation. Apparently, Artemis was to be made a slave and be taken back to Russia with the mafiya leader in a very short time.

"Well," thought Butler, "There goes Plan A!" Plan A had been a simple grab and run. Butler would grab the Fowl couple and the boy and then run for it until it was safe. Butler almost slapped himself right there. He suddenly realized that plan A hadn't ever been a real plan. Artemis had only told him that plan so that the body guard would allow his charge to put his life in danger. It was almost as if Artemis had known the Russians would make him their slave from the start. Yet that was a silly notion, as nobody is omniscient, were they?

Butler had seen several guards go by and judged the hallways now to be safe. He would continue along Artemis' plan B. He made his way to the "control room" which was really a study with a bunch of monitors crammed in it to watch all of Fowl Manor. The equipment was high quality and the cameras in the different hallways recorded the happenings straight to DVDs. Some areas even had microphones installed that could record the sound in that room as well.

"But why had the Mafiya left this room empty and unguarded?" had been Butler's first thought. He answered himself, "Because they had procedures they followed. First kidnap, steal, or kill, then leave behind a small force to sweep the house for any evidence, this included film recordings of their atrocities." Frankly, the mafiya weren't worried about it, yet. Another reason this room hadn't been discovered yet is that it had a security system designed by Artemis who was following the advice of Butler himself. Nobody except the boy and Butler himself could get into this room.

Butler went up to the floor in front of the door making sure his feet were on the right floor boards. He then pushed the top button on a vertical column of five buttons. A light shone out from the floor boards he was standing on, scanning his shoe size. If it had been any one else's shoe size other than his or Artemis', the person would have been knocked unconscious on the spot by an electrical surge. After this scan, the top button lit up green, so Butler pushed the next button. An Iris scan descended from the ceiling and scanned Butler's iris. Another button lit up green. The next button brought down a voice recognition microphone, the one after that brought down a gel thumb scanner, and the final button brought down a simple number pad. But the numbers were difficult- a thirty number sequence. It had taken Butler forever to memorize the sequence, but he had done it and now typed it in quickly. All five light glowed green so Butler turned the door handle and walked into the room, making sure he shut the door behind him so that it would automatically restart the tests for entrance.

All Butler could do now was to sit and wait. He turned on all the monitors, making note as to how many men were left, which was 20. He saw them separating in the hallway, going about their newly assigned tasks. Butler turned on the microphones around the house, mainly following Britva's movement. The Russian man made his way to the Fowl family room, once more settling himself down in a chair. The mafiya leader had called in a guard for some private conversation. Well, it would've been private had there not been a microphone implanted in that room. The conversation confirmed Artemis' belief that Britva would definitely kill the boy's parents, no matter what type of deal they had made. That was why Butler was here. Butler silently thought to himself, "They're leaving in 10 minutes. Why would Britva want to wait two hours before torturing and finally killing the Fowl patriarch and matriarch?" The answer hit Butler like a stack of bricks. "Of course," he thought, "In case something wrong happens or something delays their flight and they must return to the Manor, there would be time enough to temporarily cancel the order." Butler suddenly noticed (and so did Tiki Rane Gobell) that this plan of Artemis' was making the body guard talk to himself much more than normal. Even worse, he had begun answering himself as well. Butler decided he would go for a cat-scan after this was all over, maybe even a vacation.

Butler, however, was glad of the extra time the Mafiya leader himself had given Butler. It gave him extra time after Britva left with Artemis to knock out the rest of the guards and rescue the Fowl couple. He sat back and watched the screen making plans to the best way to simultaneously incapacitate the guards and save the Fowl couple so that Britva could not be alarmed. He would certainly kill the boy right away if he was alarmed.

10 minutes later, Britva left, taking two body guards and Artemis Fowl the Second with him. Butler switched his gaze to a black television screen and then turned it on. This new device had also been Artemis' invention. A sky view of Fowl Manor showed up to be quickly replaced by a black background with red lines indicating the Manor's outside walls, green lines indicating interior walls, purple lines tracing the range of the various "security devices" planted around the manor, and, most importantly of all, yellow dots indicating moving life forms. In this instance, these life forms happened to be Britva's men. The neat little gadget even had a remote control which allowed the viewer to "flip" through the different levels of the house. For the life of him, Butler couldn't figure out how this thing worked but was fairly certain Artemis could give an overly-thorough description on the various technical terms that made this baby tick. Butler really didn't care how it worked and just called it the "Sky Eye."

He studied where everyone in the vicinity was and how he could incapacitate them. 11 could be taken out from where Butler was sitting. Those were the guards patrolling the grounds, grounds that happened to have more sonix grenades planted every 30 yards or so. The only open spot on the grounds was where Artemis had set off the sonix grenade earlier that day. Luckily the guards were avoiding that area all together because of their superstitious nature. Butler looked for the rest of Britva's men. Five men were guarding the Fowls and one guard was by the front entrance and one was by the back. He picked up the remote control that had allowed him to switch through the different levels of Fowl Manor an saw the odd assortment of buttons most remotes didn't have. It's choices didn't include "volume", "Channel", or even "Power." Instead this one had "Shield Viewer", "Bio-Bomb Detector", "Artificial Time Zone Escaper"(which poured sleeping gas into all the rooms) and "Life Mode"(which brought back the actual footage of Fowl Manor that the machine had created this simplified drawing with). Most remotes had a number pad of sorts to select a specific channel number with, but most number pads didn't included the label "Detonate #," which would set off the selected number's sonix grenade planted somewhere outside on the grounds. Butler found the button he was searching for underneath this odd number pad. It was labeled "Detonate All."

Butler was just about to select it when he caught a movement out of the side of his eye in the. It was coming from the Sky Eye and from the Fowl couple's room. Too much movement for Butler's liking. He pushed the remote button labeled "Life Mode" and his eyes flashed with anger. Apparent the young fool named Vannar was tired of baby-sitting the Fowl couple and decided to try to get the information out of them now rather than wait for the two hours to be up. Butler stuck the remote in his pocket and ran down the hallway, racing to get to the Fowl's room before the torturing began.

A/N: See? Not very exciting, was it? Very convenient that Butler should start talking to himself and answering himself so that the readers could understand the Mafiya's reasoning. It was also very fortunate that Artemis would design such intriguing devices that would aid so much to the making of this plot.

A/N 2 and final: To end any confusion that may have been caused by the planted sonix grenades, let's say that Artemis was out of the other sonix grenades hearing range and the reason only one was set off when he performed his little "magic trick" was because the detonation code (Richard of York gave battle in vain, rainbow) was not picked up by the rest of the sonix grenades. If you had not noticed this slight error yet, forget I mentioned it. If you did notice it, pretend this chapter lived up to all your expectations anyway.

Review with your thoughts and CC.

Thank you for reading,

Tiki Rane Gobell