A/N: Part of this story was inspired by my brother saying, "My cell phone is the most expensive watch I've ever bought." I guess I should dedicate it to him then.

Oh! And before I forget, I would like to thank all those who have reviewed, especially my extremely faithful reviewers by the names azurelipis, Spirochick39, and I'll put DarkerthanNight here too. (because we're pretending they have a gun.) Randy can keep his dawg pound, I've got my Review Dawg Pound! Anyway...on with the story!
Chapter 7

Cell Phones

Artemis awoke about two and a half hours after take off. He had determined this figure by checking the time on his cell phone-wait! His cell phone? Artemis' eyes widened in shock that he still had it. Under normal circumstances, a kidnapper would have taken everything of value away from their victim. However, Artemis' kidnap, or forceful commencement into slavery as some would call it, had not been under normal circumstances. Artemis had successfully pysched out his captors to the point of them becoming negligent in their kidnappers' duties.

Artemis mentally praised his genius as he scanned the room. A single body guard was asleep, nobody else was in sight. Artemis supposed the other body guard must've been flying the plane and Britva was either talking to the pilot or using the loo.

With no time to waste, Artemis slightly altered his Plan B. The pale youth quickly texted Butler's phone, "Domovoi, it's Artemis. Slight alteration to plan B. Left Phone w/ me. R my parents OK?" Artemis avoided using too much shorthand as it could confuse the message.

As an after thought, Artemis switched the sound off his phone. The youth eagerly watched the screen for 10 seconds waiting for a reply. Finally Butler returned the text with, "Artemis. Parents R fine. Guards R down. What alteration?"

Artemis texted, "Begin Plan B in 30 min. Call this phone. Confirmed?"

Another heart-stopping 10 seconds until the return text came, "B in 30 min. Confirmed. Dom out."

Artemis texted, "Artemis out," and then he turned the phone's volume up to maximum and put it back in his pocket.

Artemis had just pulled his hand back out of his pocket when Britva made an appearance. He gave Artemis an sour glance and sat in his chair, not speaking a word until a half hour later when, RING!

"censored string of curses in Russian! How incompetent is everyone on my payroll? Who was supposed to check him for communication devices!" Britva was of course yelling at the confused body guard who had just woken up. The body guard did his best to look innocent, but Britva continued his tirade, "He might've had a nuke in his pocket, a fusion reactor in his sock, and an entire Roman Army stuck down his shirt and you fools wouldn't have noticed! What do I pay you people-"

Britva's rant was cut short by Artemis shushing him as he answered the phone, "Yes, ahum, right, yes, he's sitting right beside me. Are you sure you'd like to talk to him? Okay," Artemis held out the phone for Britva, "It's for you," he stated bluntly while giving an annoying vampiric smile.

Britva grabbed the cell phone from the boy and ignored the smile. The Mafiya leader grunted, "What?" into the phone.

"Britva, I must say it's been a while."

"Who's this?"

"Butler and you have my charge. Don't even think of hurting the boy. Let me inform you that your guards have had the misfortune of..ah..falling unconscious before they were able to do their jobs. This is very unfortunate for you as all the traces of your visit to Fowl Manor, especially those traces you left behind on film, still remain. Let me assure you that they are very incriminating. If fact, these are so incriminating, they could probably land you a life sentence in the coldest, darkest, foulest, yet most secure "correctional institute" invented. I just bet Interpol would love to get their hands on this evidence."

Britva's lip curled in a snarl, "What do you what?"

"Just a simple trade: Artemis Fowl the Second, unscathed, for the DVDs. I'll even throw in all your unconscious men to seal the deal."

The Mafiya leader's emerald eyes filled with rage. He didn't really have a choice and seriously doubted the body guard could be bluffing. Why else would the pale youth before him be wearing such a confident smirk and why else would the boy lie and say the body guard was dead? There must've been some deeper motive since the beginning. Britva hated himself for being fooled by this child...again. He practically growled, "When and where?" to set up the trade.

Britva could not let those tapes get to the police and especially not to Interpol. So many years of secrecy would have been wasted. The tapes would be enough to assure even the most stubborn of juries of the Mafiya leader's guilt of this crime and all past suspicions. No number of friends in the higher-up places would be allowed to save him.

Britva was jerked out of these thoughts by Butler answering, "London, tomorrow at noon. Make sure your two body guards are with you when the exchange is made. No one else. Keep the cell phone and I will call you an hour before the meeting is to take place and specify where. Oh, and make sure the boy is not hurt or I will not hesitate to go straight to Interpol."

"Of course," said Britva. His eyes were flashing daggers as if he could kill Butler just by thinking it hard enough.

Artemis couldn't hear Butler's part of the conversation but, judging by Britva's responses and the emotions the boy could read in the man's eyes, he knew Butler must be playing his part well.

The Irish youth rested his back deeper into the chair he was sitting on, closing his eyes again and ready to fall back asleep. There was nothing left for him to do except wait. Right before he drifted off, the pale youth heard Britva get up and go to the front of the plane. He presumed he went to tell his body guard piloting the plane to change their destination to London. Sure enough, Artemis felt the sway of the plane as it readjusted its course. The youth fell asleep with a confident smirk on his face.

O0o.o0O

Butler ended the call with the Mafiya leader and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Butler was not used to having to be so dramatic in his speech. It was dangerous, and he knew it. Usually Butler just said "Yes sir" or "No sir" or "I'll get right on that." Butler hadn't even realized he could sound that much like...well, like Artemis himself.

Butler looked up to find Artemis Senior staring at him. Angeline had long gone to sleep in a spare bedroom, but the Senior Artemis had requested to stay up and listen to the bargaining. He had to hand it to Butler. He sounded like he knew what he was doing. Butler got to his feet and was about to go pack for London when he heard something that shocked his ears, "Butler," began Artemis Senior, "Why didn't Artemis just get the fairies to help with this one like always."

'Sir," asked Butler, his eyes wide from shock.

"Yes, I know about the fairies Butler, now answer my question."

"Master Artemis has decided that it will be better for both species if we stop all interactions."

"What?" asked the businessman, "But I thought they were friends."

"Yes, they were that. I think Master Artemis has kindled his spark of decency at last. I'm sure he'll deny it to the last word, but I think he is trying to be noble. He believes his involvement with the fairies puts their secret society at risk and is trying to protect them by putting them in his past. Another part of me believes that he is just ready to grow up and go on with his life without having to worry about the hidden species beneath our feet. If you ask him, he'll probably say it's just because they no longer benefit him or some other false accusation, but I think he has truly changed and is just trying to protect his friends without losing all his memories."

Artemis Senior digested this information while Butler said, "Please excuse me, sir. I must go get ready to fly to London."

A/N: I wish I had the foresight of Artemis Fowl...actually, I would settle for the hindsight of Artemis Fowl. But anyway, ohhhhhhdramatic music plays! We are reaching the climax of the story! I won't lie-I suck at climaxes, but a story must have one to reach its conclusion. Well, you've reached the conclusion of this chapter so feel free to stay around and write a quick review. Thanks for reading.