Chapter Five: Something About Your Eyes

Twilight Town: The Clock Tower

Riku

Too often, I found myself drowning in my own thoughts, replaying every memory from the last few years over and over again. It was an involuntary routine that I'd succumbed to, this constant recollection of events throughout my life—as my mind and heart tried to over analyse every possible detail in an attempt to understand everything that had transpired. There were so many questions unfulfilled. How did I end up here? How did it all come to this? Most of all, where did I go wrong that allowed everything to unfold this way? Could I have stopped it? I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to that.

I had, more than once, expressed my guilt to Mickey when I had found myself in extreme states of vulnerability. Sometimes, that very guilt became all too debilitating. My mind was merciless and the accusations it pinned against me took my breath away, bringing me to my knees and consumed me with overwhelming emotions, none of which were positive. I had plenty of reasons to blame myself, or so it felt like. Mickey denied that to be the case, insisting that I had done no wrong, but, in truth, he was the witness to one of the worst mistakes I had made thus far. Even though he had argued against me, I'd stood my ground—something that would become one of my greatest regrets, if not the greatest regret I'd faced in my eighteen years. The entirety of this situation had brought out parts of me I didn't know existed, creating its own share of mistakes—like the last time I'd spoken to Kairi—but this particular one weighing on my mind could not be beaten.

At first, I had tried to reason with Sora, insisting that he stay behind with all of us, that we could go to Yen Sid and find some sort of solution to bring Kairi back. Even I wasn't so sure, but I wanted to assure him as much as I was able. Still, he persisted. He was determined to embark on his own journey to rescuing her despite all of our feelings about it.

"Even if you do locate Kairi…you may never come home to us again." That is what Mickey had said, begging Sora not to go. Still, the fire in his cobalt blue eyes was unwavering and he was unconvinced.

I had always had a way of getting through to Sora and keeping him from making rash decisions and he did the same for me. It was this dynamic of our friendship that made it so unique and unbreakable. I never imagined we would be apart for so long…and especially not like this. I know now that I should have tried harder that day, that there was more I could have said to bring him to his senses. I am sure of it. At the time, my logic was completely skewed. I had seen Sora achieve so many unimaginable victories that were so often downplayed and discredited. We'd all teased him about how he was useless on his own and needed his friends, that he wasn't strong enough to be a Keyblade Master…the list goes on. He'd defied the odds more than once. Finally, after the battle at the Keyblade Graveyard, his true strength, all on his own, was more than apparent to me. It was because of this that I decided to stand by his side, defending him and supporting him like he'd always deserved. I hadn't stood up for him and defended his strength and power when he had needed it most, but evidently I chose the wrong time to finally do so.

"Let him go, Mickey. His heart and his mind are made up. Now believe in him." My words from that day echoed in my head endlessly. I had let him go. If I hadn't spoken those very words, would he still be here? Or would he have left regardless of what I had said? At least, in that case, he'd departed knowing that I truly did believe in him, something that he'd no longer have to doubt. Still, that thought couldn't bring me to justify my past self's actions in the slightest—and now I was here in the present time, left to deal with the consequences for what I had done. I could still picture him walking away from me, ready to venture on his own to pursue Kairi. I simply stood and watched as he became so far off in the distance that he'd become barely visible, yet not knowing it would be the last time I would see my best friend.

Sitting at the top of the clock tower, I examined all of my surroundings. I had been to Twilight Town more than once, but it wasn't a place that I had ever taken the time to acquaint myself with or notice any of its greatest features. The sunset before me really was undeniably breathtaking—the kind of sunset that is just dim enough not to blind you, but bright enough to envelope you with a certain calmness and ease. The red, orange, and yellow hues complemented each other perfectly, creating a sight so pleasing and serene that I could almost forget about all of my problems and hurt. Almost. I could absolutely understand why Roxas and all of his friends came here so often. It was an escape.

"Hey there," a voice echoed from behind me, followed by a figure quickly, but gracefully, sitting down next to me. A bit jolted, I turned to face them and was met with blonde, effortlessly spiky hair and a warm smile. Roxas. Despite his uncanny resemblance to Ventus, I couldn't help but see so much of Sora within him. It only made sense seeing as he'd originated from Sora, but some of his mannerisms and characteristics were undoubtedly the result of Sora and not Ven. As I looked at Roxas and his cerulean eyes locked with mine, it wasn't only the colour, but also the underlying nature and temperament behind them that reminded me so much of my best friend. It was always something about his eyes—and I hadn't been the only one to see it. Kairi and Lea had both mentioned it at some point too, prior to Sora's disappearance, but none of us had ever brought it to either Sora's or Roxas' attention, so I could only surmise that they were both oblivious to this jarring similarity between the two of them. I could never quite place it or exactly what it was, but whenever I saw Roxas, I'd look into his eyes and all I could see in them was Sora. It wasn't at all as if I was looking at Ventus. That's why I'd always been able to so easily spot the difference between him and Roxas. Still, as he faced me, establishing eye contact was a challenge I hadn't anticipated. This was the first time we'd met, just the two of us, since Sora had left us. It was the first time I had seen his eyes again—and it was gut wrenching.

Before me was this cruel illusion of having my best friend back right here next to me…and then suddenly, I did. Time seemed to stand still as I stared at him in awe. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was looking at Sora. He peered back at me, and as our eyes met, a tranquil smile overtook his face, a smile that brought a rush of emotions through my entire being, overwhelming me with the blissful feeling of his presence, a feeling that had been slipping away from me more and more every day as time without him went on. Unable to speak, I simply let out a gasp, a singular tear escaping from my eye and falling down my face before it splashed down onto the ground below us. As soon as I blinked, he was Roxas again, leaving me to wonder if I'd imagined it.

"Uh…everything alright?" The sound of Roxas' voice assured me that I wasn't with Sora at all. It wasn't his voice. I was at least certain of that much.

My face instantly became hot as I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck, trying to quickly think of a way to play off what had just happened. I almost never cried. For Roxas of all people to be the one to witness that was embarrassing to say the least, even if it had only been one tear that had managed to break loose and give away my emotions. "I'm all good," I muttered. "It's good to see you."

He nodded, handing me a serving of sea salt ice cream. "Here. It's kind of a tradition up on the clock tower."

I hesitantly took it from him, slowly taking a small bite. I was pleasantly surprised with its unique flavour. "Salty…" I murmured. "No…sweet."

He chuckled. "Best of both worlds. It makes for the perfect treat no matter what you prefer."

"Thank you," I began.

He shrugged. "For what?"

"Well, I was thanking you for the ice cream. But now that I think of it…thank you for meeting me here. I wasn't sure…" I trailed off.

He quickly interjected. "The past is in the past. Let's leave it there. Of course I am happy to help. I miss my brother just as much as the rest of you even if I don't show it. I'm a private person."

I was stuck on one part of his statement. "Brother?"

He laughed awkwardly. "Oh…yeah. Well…I'm not sure if you took time to walk around town before coming here, but Sora had sort of become known as the Struggle champion so there's all sorts of posters of him everywhere. He's undefeated, but without him here, no one can challenge him. I've taken up Struggling myself to keep my mind occupied and now I've risen to the top of the ranks just like him. Of course…me and him can't face off. But, for some reason, people started telling me that I look like him. That they can't place it, but I look like him somehow. It got to a point where Hayner, Pence, Olette, and I started telling everyone that me and him are brothers. It just became easier. It explained the resemblance people somehow see and it makes sense to everyone since we're both Struggle champions. Runs in our blood."

I chuckled. "Yeah…I suppose that does make the situation a little less complicated. Are you big brother or little brother?

He sighed. "Well, I guess it's only fair if I tell people I'm the baby since I'm technically over a decade younger than him."

"That is…a weird way to look at it. But not wrong, either."

"You know what Axel suggested a few days ago?" He let out a soft and nearly silent laugh. Had we been closer to the bustling streets of the town and the tram common, I would've never heard it. However, the peaceful quiet that came with this tower allowed me to hear everything clearly, allowing me to take in every possible detail of the interaction. Roxas went on. "He thinks it would be funny if I got Ventus to come out here and enter the competition, too. Not only would Sora be my big brother, but then I'd suddenly have a long lost twin with my whole bloodline just so happening to be natural born Struggle champs."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle myself. "If you wanna talk about getting the whole situation even more confusing, bringing Ven into the equation will surely do it. You and him would be twins, but in reality he's older than any of us. So…you're younger than Sora, but Ven would be your twin…yet Ven is older than all of us combined." I paused. "You know…our lives have become really complex."

"They have," he stated. "So much has happened. I have met so many new people. I mean, I met Ventus, my literal doppelganger. And I don't even know the guy. We've barely had a conversation. It's crazy." He stopped. "And you know what else is crazy? The other day, Olette told me that she thinks I look more like Sora than Ventus. Is she that blind or are we all really going that crazy?"

I shook my head. "Your eyes."

He tilted his head, visibly confused, bringing his hand to his cheek and feeling around his eyes. "My eyes? Is there something wrong with them?"

"Not at all." The only thing wrong with them was the heartache they brought me if I looked at them a little too long. It was just like looking into the eyes of my best friend, eyes I feared I'd never see again, but a thought I never spoke aloud if I could help it. "You have Sora's eyes. There's something about them. They aren't Ven's eyes at all."

"His…eyes? Huh. If you say so."

It wasn't something I cared to get into detail about. In fact, it was a touchy subject, so I decided to divert the conversation somewhere else—the reason we were here, after all. "So, about our leads…well, we don't really have much to go off of, but we were thinking that somehow you might be able to help. You have the closest link to Sora, so I think it would make the most sense, right?"

He shrugged. "We can't be so sure." He stared straight ahead into the sunset, the colours of it reflecting off his irises. He took another bite of his ice cream then continued. "I'll do whatever I can. But what about Kairi? Didn't they share a paopu fruit?"

"I'm starting to think that's more of a myth than anything else. Sharing one probably means nothing."

"You never know…" He stopped for a moment, as if planning his next words. "I guess…well, like I said, I am a private person. I guess I have been keeping some stuff to myself that maybe I shouldn't. I wanted to wait longer…to see if it would lead me anywhere before I got anyone's hopes up. And, to tell you the truth, it hasn't got me anywhere at all. If anything, I'm more lost than I was before—"

I interjected. "Keeping what to yourself?"

"Sheesh. Can't even let me finish? Are you that tense?"

"Just tell me," I quickly responded.

"Okay, fine. I think you'd rather I show you, though."

"Show me what?" He was dragging it on far too long for my liking.

He held his hand out in front of him, with small sparks bouncing around his fingers, before a full blown flash of light suddenly manifested, outshining the entirety of his hand, but when the light faded, I was met with a mind boggling sight. His arm still held straight out in front of him, he was holding a keyblade, but not just any old keyblade and neither one being the two he regularly wielded. Instead, he held onto a bright yellow handle, which extended out into a metal blade and ended with a key formation in the shape of a crown. The chain attached to it swayed subtly with the light breeze. "It started a week ago," he said.

"K-keyblade? Sora's keyblade? But…how?" I was in shock, unsure of what I was possibly meant to say in this situation. This could mean a million different things, but none that I could even begin to make sense of. After all, why could he summon Sora's keyblade now? The last time he had done that, Sora was in a deep sleep recovering his memories—and we didn't know anything of Sora's whereabouts now. Did this mean he was simply asleep again? Or…something worse than sleep, which is what I feared the most. The time of sleep that you never wake up from—death. I had yet to even dare to speak the word through the entirety of the search. Despite what many of us may be thinking, none of us ever mentioned that possibility and I had no intentions of changing that. Still, seeing Roxas bring forth Sora's keyblade was not something I could easily explain.

"I don't know what it means. That's why I didn't tell anyone yet. Not even Axel, if it makes you feel better. You're the first to hear of it. When you called me out of the blue, right after all of this started, I figured there had to be a reason for it, which is why I decided to tell you. Even then, I hesitated because I have no explanation to offer. I just know things keep getting weirder. It all started with his keyblade, though. I was about to start another Struggle, but when I held out my bat, it spawned as his keyblade out of nowhere, like I couldn't even control it. Thankfully, it was a practice spar with Hayner, so he was the only witness. I was able to cast it away after a few seconds. I don't know how I would've ever explained it to the whole town. I'm worried about it happening again, so I've been sitting out of Struggles lately. Everyone thinks I've just given up on it and don't want to do it anymore. But…I do. It clears my head and is a distraction. Lately, though, I've been bombarded with so many things that make it impossible to concentrate. First…the keyblade, of course. But as of a few days ago, I keep seeing Sora. It's little glimpses that leave just as fast as they came, but I swear it's real. When I look in the mirror, my reflection isn't me. Sora is the one looking back at me. It's so brief, though, that I barely catch it. Yesterday, I walked past a window in the tram common and out of the corner of my eye, he was the one in my reflection. I am sure of it. I don't even know what other people see when they look at me anymore."

My mind flashed back to what had just happened barely minutes ago. That confirmed that I couldn't have been imagining it. He had appeared as Sora, even if only for a moment. Pondering the thought, my mind ran on rapid fire trying to run through an endless stream of memories that could provide some detail or insight into the situation. Then suddenly, I remembered first meeting Roxas in The World That Never Was. I had been unsure of his true identity—if he was really Sora's Nobody. I had spoken to him just like I'd spoken to Sora, which instantly forced Sora's response out of him, even to his own surprise. Then I thought…could it work again? Of course, I didn't need confirmation of who he was—but, what if I could say something to trigger a part of Sora out of him? Through him, could I reach Sora? I took a moment to think, picking apart my brain in an attempt to come up with what I should say. Then it came to me. "So it's like that, huh? Just passing off your keyblade like it's nothing to you, then? Come on, Sora. I thought you were stronger than that."

Roxas instantly gasped, covering his mouth as a tear rolled off his cheek. He wiped it off and peered down at his finger, the sunlight reflecting off of it, allowing me to see the wet texture of his tears on his hand. "What's this about?"

"So…he is in there…I think." Truthfully, I had no idea what to make of Roxas' response. Typically, if I said something like that, Sora would always take the bait and bite back. But, to cry…I had no idea what that could mean. All I knew was that the response was involuntary, so it must somehow reflect Sora's emotions. Then, just like that, the Kingdom Key instantaneously disappeared into sparks from his grasp. "D-did you do that?" I asked.

"No…" He murmured. "It just…disappeared."

The gesture made it seem as if Sora was abandoning this conversation, even if only metaphorically. Still, there was one thing I could be sure of. A piece of Sora existed within Roxas. I had no idea of how to reach it—if even possible at all. Undeniably, this was my first true lead and the first tangible evidence of his existence still remaining somehow and some way. Although it overwhelmed me with the greatest shred of hope I'd had so far, it also clouded me with intense and raw fear. Either way, this would lead me toward answers, but I was terrified they wouldn't be the answers I so desperately wanted.