"Music!" Naruto commanded. Immediately, the Konohan band started playing.
"Traditional music in the summer. It brings an air of romance, no?" Konohamaru asked.
"What? Sure," Naruto shrugged, slurping his ramen. "Too bad we don't have any good vocalists."
"I know a good one," said Konohamaru.
"Really? Who?" Naruto sat up.
"His name's Kiba, and he works for Lady Sakura."
"Ok! Shut up!" Naruto yelled. The music ceased. "Go find Kiba the Clown! And bring back Lady Sakura while you're at it."
"Hai!" Konohamaru and the Konohan musicians saluted Naruto. They all exited the room, leaving Naruto and Hinata alone.
"So, Hinato. How are things for you?"
"Um, me?" Hinata asked.
"Yeah. How's life? How's the world treating you? You're so young!"
"But we're the same age, Naruto-dono," replied Hinata.
"Yup, so young. Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Um… no?"
"Someone as cute as you? Really?" Naruto patted Hinata on the back. "I've grown really fond of you, so I will give you some advise. Do you have your eye on anyone in particular?"
"Well, there is someone…" Hinata blushed furiously.
"What's she like?"
"About your age… your height and build… your colour of hair, your colour of eyes… your complexion… yeah," Hinata looked at Naruto shyly.
Naruto furrowed his brow in thought. "Well, here's my advice, Hinato."
"Yeah?"
"Not your type."
"Duke Naruto! We have returned!" Konohamaru announced. "And we have brought the clown!"
"What do you want?" asked Kiba. "And make it a short song. Dinner's on in ten minutes, and we're having chicken tonight." Both Akamaru and Chouji licked their lips.
"How about that one song, what's it called… 'Haruka Kanata?'" Naruto suggested.
"Fine. Are you ready?" The musicians went to their places and nodded. Kiba cleared his throat.
"Fumikomu ze akuseru kakehiki wa nai sa sou dayo!
yoru wo nukeru
nejikomu sa saigo ni sashihiki zero sa sou dayo!
hibi wo kezuru
kokoro wo sotto hiraite gyutto hiki yosetara!
todoku yo kitto tsutau yo motto sa aa!
iki isoide shiboritotte!
motsureru ashi dakedo mae yori zutto sou tooku he!
ubaitotte tsukandatte!
kimi janai nara imi wa nai no sa
dakara motto motto motto haruka kanata!
fumikomu ze akuseru kakehiki wa nai sa sou dayo!
yoru wo nukeru
nejikomu sa saigo ni sashihiki zero sa sou dayo!
hibi wo kezuru
kokoro wo sotto hiraite gyutto hiki yosetara!
todoku yo kitto tsutau yo motto sa aa!
iki isoide shiboritotte!
motsureru ashi dakedo mae yori zutto sou tooku he!
ubaitotte tsukandatte!
kimi janai nara imi wa nai no sa
dakara haruka kanata!
Itsuwaru koto ni nareta kimi no sekai wo
nuritsubusu no sa shiroku shirou."
"You were right, Konohamaru! He's excellent! Here's your reward!" Naruto tossed him some money.
"Wow! That's a lot!" Kiba counted the bills happily. "Thank you duke! I'll be back for more!" Kiba bowed and exited.
"Hey, can you guys give us some alone time?" Naruto asked Konohamaru and the other Konohans, who obeyed.
"Now, about that lady of yours, Hinato," Naruto turned to Hinata with a serious look in his eyes. "She's not your type. Believe me, I know these things. Why aren't you together yet?"
"Because… well…" Hinata blushed for like the 50th time that day.
"Aha! She won't return your love, right?"
"Um…"
"I knew it! You're young. Don't waste your time on someone who won't pay attention to you." Naruto nodded knowingly. "Plenty of fish in the sea."
"What about Lady Sakura? You're pretty persistent."
"Oh, that's because Sakura is the most beautiful woman in the world." Naruto waved his hand. "Trust me, your person doesn't even hold a candle to her. Take my advice. Find someone else. I'll see you later." Naruto left the room.
"Oh, Naruto-dono… if you only knew that it was you." Hinata sighed.
Meanwhile…
"Hi, Ino. How's your project coming along?" Shikamaru passed the angry maid on his way to the kitchen.
"Excellent! With this I will have revenge!" Ino revealed the fruit of her labour. It was a man-sized doll. Ino had put makeup on it, and fitted it with Sakura's outfit and a pink wig.
"Um… what is that, exactly?"
"It's Sakura!" Ino chirped. "It was a present from Kankurou of Sand, but I fixed it up to look like her. I'm going to sit this at the breakfast table. Lee comes early every morning, and I recorded Sakura professing undying love for him." Ino took out a tape recorder and pressed 'play'.
"Oh, Lee! I can't live without you! I love you so much!" A voice that was very obviously Ino's squealed.
"I always thought I sounded like her," Ino smirked. "Anyway, Lee will hug Sakura. Then, I'll press a button-" Ino took a remote control out, and pressed a big red button on it. Arms extended out of the puppet, and wrapped around itself. "Lee will be strangled to death! Oh, revenge is sweet!"
Shikamaru sweatdropped. "But Ino, it doesn't look or sound even remotely like Lady Sakura!"
"Are you questioning my genius?" anger veins popped dangerously out of Ino's forehead. Shikamaru sighed.
"Can you write like Sakura?"
"Oh yeah! Sure!" Ino chirped. "I am multi-talented and so much prettier than her!"
"Let's walk," Shikamaru put an arm around Ino. "I see I have some things to teach you about effective scheming."