Title: That Damn Happiness Clause
Writer: Azure K Mello
Disclaimer- I don't own the shoes I'm currently dancing in what's the likelihood I own anything in Joss' universe? I own the original novels. . . I bought them in Borders, and I own the DVDs. I don't however make money off of this I just seem to spend a lot on it. I in no way intend to infringe copyrights. I'm just entertaining myself, honestly, I'm shocked that anyone's read it.
Setting: somewhere during I Will Remember You, some conversation is mangled out of said ep. And in Buff's time line it's at the thanksgiving ep. Keep in mind that I am a strong believer in the fact that one little thing can change the course of history, hence cannon gets meddled with.
Warning: SLASH Angel/Doyle. Spike/Xander. Don't like, don't read, don't flame. Also rather heavy mentions of abuse.
Note: Armistead Maupin is the most amazing writer ever. Jon and Michael Mouse are the most perfect couple ever. The man knows how to make you cry and laugh and feel. He's amazing. If you think hey! I'll read that. Listen to this piece of advice read More Tales of the City Before Tales of the City. If I had read them in the other order I never would have read the rest because Mary Ann is such a bitch in the first book, and Brian is so shallow, and Mona is so cold. But they are defiantly the best books ever. Plus, Jon is described as a white blond who'd look gorgeous in an aerial photo and Mouse is a thin brunette who thinks everyone hates him so clearly every time they break up I'm like. "No, Xander. . . I mean Mouse." And "How could you Spike! Jon, I mean: how could you Jon." Anyway that's enough ranting.
Second note: sorry this took so long to get out to you all. My father just got fired and he felt now would be as good a time as any to go to England to see my grandfather who's on his last legs. At the same time as this Dad's house is under serious construction (new kitchen, three bedrooms, billiards room, two bathrooms, pool, four car garage and movie theater: he's going to be working until the day he dies) and was flooding and having power outages up the wazzo. My step mother was kinda freaking out and so Isaly and I have been in Jersey a lot this week taking my two younger brother (8 and 4) out so that she would have time to go running and write her letters of solicitation in peace, (she organizing her church's fund raiser. Can you say social climber debutant?). Actually I really like my step mother I just enjoy making fun of her. I've also been busy entertaining my other grandfather who, as y'all know, has been staying with me.
Thanks to Poison for being the fastest Beta I've ever had!
Section rating: R
Part 11/?
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"Hey." said Angel walking into the office. Cordy had gone home a few hours earlier. Spike and Xander were curled up asleep on the couch. "What do I pay them for?"
"You pay 'em to turn up so that you can have a look at 'em and make sure they haven't done anythin' stupid to their persons. Anyway, they're sleepin' off the effects o' yesterday."
"Yesterday? What did I miss?"
"Fucking amazing pancakes and a nightclub."
"And again I wonder what I pay them for."
"How was Sunnydale?"
"Hot, muggy, dull. I crashed in the mansion and I swear to god someone is throwing massive orgies in my house."
"I'm sorry. Ye ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. And we saved Thanksgiving so what could be better? Any big bads here? Any leads on Anyanka?"
"No big bads, well, except Spike who my ice cream that was in the fridge. And the boy took Anya as he called her t' the Prom."
"You're kidding." He looked over a the pair on the couch and then it dawned on him. "What were you thinking?" he roared waking the couple.
Spike rolled his eyes. "Bugger off, Sire. I was havin' a nice dream. I was in Bermuda at a bar on the beach at night."
"Have you got any idea what you've done?"
"No, please, Angel, explain it to us." Said a sarcastic sleepy Xander. The yawn that followed the statement made Spike pull an "aww" face. "We're not idiots."
"No, I know you aren't. But you're both so young and, and: I'm the sire, I have to be responsible. And now I have to be responsible for you both."
"We can take care of ourselves. And I hardly think you're responsible for me." Said Xander starting to sit.
"No , he's right, pet. Your mine, and I'm his childe. So yeah that makes him responsible for us both." Spike spoke softly not looking at his sire.
"And if I say that this." Said Angel pointing at them both. "Doesn't happen then it *doesn't* happen."
"I belong to Angel first and foremost." Said Spike looking down at his chest. "So if he doesn't give us permission the whole thing is null and void."
"That's nice. Let's go home." Said Xander with cold anger as he watched his lover fold into himself. "You can tell us your *decision* in the morning." He smiled a brief sad smile at Doyle. "See ya in the morning, sleep well, man." And they were gone.
Looking at Doyle Angel saw that same cold anger. "Last night at the club Xander said he felt real bad for hating you for something that wasn't your fault. You do this and he'll never have to feel bad for hating you again."
"You think I should let them do this?" he asked angrily. "They're both children."
"I don't know, I'm not the sire." He said sarcastically. "All I know is that it's been real nice to see them so not miserable for the last two days. Spike will always be a child, there is no getting around that, and it's not as though one morning Xander's going to wake up and make a run for it or vice versa. I know that if one of them left it would literally kill the other. But that won't happen. And if you say no it won't change anything, they won't have the title but they'll still be together. The only thing your disapproval will do is push them away from you. And they're your family so that would suck. It'll just reinforce all Angelus ever said about Spike being nothing more than an object for you to possess. You have to relinquish your ownership of the boy. You have to let Xander have him if you don't you'll lose Spike anyway."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As he sat down on the couch the silent vampire started to shake. He hadn't said a word the whole walk back to their building. Silent tears started to fall down his face. Xander stroked his arm but Spike shied away from his touch. "He hates me. He always has, I always tried to believe that somewhere deep down he loved me. And you wouldn't let me and I hated you for it. I know, I know. But I never thought he would sink this low. I belong to him and he barely would look at me when I was so desperate to be his and now he won't let me go. I'm not yours. And you're not mine." He said softly.
"Bullshit. I might get the title but you are no less mine then you were an hour ago."
Laughing through tears Spike said. "No, you see if he says that this is nothing I'll lose you to old age. You won't be able to exist purely on the will we share. The connection'll be gone. You'll die and I'll be alone."
"No you won't. I promised you I would there with you. You won't be alone. I promised. I will find some other way to be with you even if it means making a pact with the devil. I keep my promises."
Spike sniffed hard and crawled into Xander's lap finally allowing the boy to touch him. "I don't want to be alone."
"You won't be."
"But I'll never be yours."
The words hurt and Xander had to bite his lip to stop it from quivering. "So what? Wow, Angel can keep an unwilling canary in its cage, bully for him. That doesn't change how I feel about you." And he prodded Spike's arm. "See no alarms go off when I touch you telling me to get away from *his* property. The whole ownership thing squifes me out if it isn't mutual." He pulled off his wedding ring the tears flowed down his face freely while he tried to keep the anger and fear out of his voice. "This was bought in a pawn store, it's cute and symbolic: it's not real. Being married to you was the happiest 48 hours of my life. And if he says that this isn't real, well he's a fucking liar. Because this is the only thing that's real. I don't need a fucking ring to tell me that and it certainly won't be disproved by a jealous father. To recap this is the real thing not some intangible bond between you and him."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Said Xander with a laugh at Spike's childish hope. "And we don't need to worry yet, he's at home getting yelled at by Doyle who will hopefully make him see the light. Then he'll call and apologize."
"Actually." Said Angel popping his head around the door. "I walked over. Because I felt my arsehole level needed a face to face apology." Xander looked up and smiled gratefully, thank god for Doyle. "I'm sorry. It just, this is very serious as you both know and to walk in and be confronted by my childe and his husband was more than I could deal with. And I over reacted and said awful things that I shouldn't have. I am responsible for you both, which means that I should be trying to ensure your happiness not rule you with an iron fist. And I'm really happy for you because I know that you can be really excellent together. So again I'm sorry and you're both entitled to ignore this defense and hate me for as long as you like but just at sometime come back to me. Ok? I love you both. And I would hate to lose you because I made a mistake."
Xander got up slowly and hugged the man. Angel stood rigid dew to shock. "Thank-you." Said Xander, "You have no idea how much this means."
Angel kissed the boy's forehead, he was family now. "I guess you won't have to make a pact with the devil." He said with a soft laugh. Angel's eyes shone with appreciation, though he said the words flippantly he had openly stated that Xander would do anything for his childe.
"How long were you eavesdropping?"
"A while I needed to wait until one of you brought up the possibility that I wasn't evil so that you wouldn't tear me apart the moment I walked in. And it took a long time for you to get to that point." Xander just smiled as the older man brushed the hair away from his forehead he hugged Angel tightly again. "Put your wedding ring back on, ya melodramatic dolt." He looked over Xander's shoulder. "Are you ok, Will?"
"Is this real?"
"Yes."
"You take it back?"
"No."
"Thank-you." He never looked the man in the eye and Angel just nodded and gave a resigned sigh.
"I'll go." He said and left silently.
Turning back he saw that Spike was in a near catatonic state on the couch. As he dropped down to his knees he laid his hands in the front of his face. "How is my husband?"
"Fine."
"Mine." Said Xander taking Spike's hand in his own. And when the blond looked up he said. "Yours."
Spike smiled full watt and then went solemn. "I have to tell you something. It can't be ignored now that we're eternal." Xander felt his skin prickle in fear and anticipation for what was about to be said. "I suck my thumb when I sleep."
"Left or right?"
"Left." Said Spike with a bemused look.
"You are so fucking cute."
"Shut-up." He said with a sullen smile. "So commo I need a secret of yours so that I have blackmail to ensure that my thumb news goes no further than the two of us."
"You know all my secrets." He said but Spike just cocked an eyebrow. "I chain smoke when I'm really upset, or when I'm bored, or by myself, or drunk."
"So what you're saying is that you're a closet smoker. I knew it! I smelled it on you but I just assumed it was me! I thought I was going crazy." Xander just laughed and stood up pulling Spike with him. "I was so scared, Xander. I was so fucking scared."
"I know, babycakes, I know. I was too."
"But you were so calm."
"Because you needed me to be calm. I was wiggin' on the inside."
"Yeah?"
"Completely." He said with a tired smile. "Let's go to bed. We can figure all this out in the morning." Slowly he ran a finger down Spike's cloth covered chest. "Right now I want you, and only you and I don't want to think too much about what that means."
"You want me?" he asked. Xander nodded. "Well that's nice but I *need* you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nervously, Doyle pulled all of the skin off his fingers while Angel was out. He was worried about the vampire, about his feelings getting hurt or that he might hurt the others. He sat humming Danny Boy, he hadn't been drunk in a long time, the thought hit him as he usually sang the song loudly and cried even louder while intoxicated. A drink would be really welcome right about now. He drummed his fingers on the table of the little kitchen praying to his Catholic god that his vampire lover would be home soon. In the eyes of Catholicism the fact he was with Angel was wrong and the fact that Angel was a vampire was even wronger- not a word but it would do as his mind was falling to pieces as he waited for him. He went back into his thoughts, if there was a god then he couldn't possibly hate Doyle. He was Catholic with the capitol C. There had to be a god, right? He thought of Angela's Ashes: there are some things worse than a poor childhood, a poor Irish childhood for one, and a poor Catholic Irish childhood was the worst. Looking back his mother really over did the repentance thing, he always thought that was how normal Irish woman acted but in hindsight he figured it was just contrition for his father. Time dragged and finally Angel came into the room. He was smiling.
"Hey, you."
"Is everything ok? What did you say?"
"It's all ok. I just told them I was sorry, and that I wouldn't stop them, and that I was happy for them. That's right. Right? I just- I wanted to do what was best and they're so very young and I'm so very scared for them. And I thought that if I could just say, "No, Spike's mine" I could control it."
"Don't lie," said Doyle softly, "ye didn't tink. Ye just acted and when ye just act ye do an awful lot of things tha' remind me of Angelus. Ye got freaked and ye got possessive because Spike is *yours*." He felt a lump in his throat and tried unsuccessfully to swallow. "The kindest ting ye can do right now is just let 'em be."
"I love you with everything I am, Doyle. What I feel for Spike is what any father feels for his son. Yes, I get protective and worried for him, but that's like any normal father when his son gets behind the wheel of a car. What I feel for him in no way negates my need and love for you. I love him I'm in love with you."
"Yeah?"
"God yes." Said Angel pulling the boy up from his chair and into his arms. "Love you and need you more than anything or one in the world. Don't doubt that for a minute."
"Love you too. So what happened in Sunnydale?"
"We stopped the Indian ghosts, sorry, Native American ghosts. Oz got funny syphilis. Giles yelled at me for not letting Buffy know I was there. And When I left they were having a nice Thanksgiving diner."
"Oh yeah, it's Thanksgiving init?"
"Yep," said one Irish man to the other. "Let's go to bed?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike had his head resting on Xander's chest. His eyes were heavy lidded as he chewed his thumb. Partially sitting Xander was sucking down a fag and running his fingers through Spike's hair. Smiling Xan said. "You have no idea how good this feels."
"Nicotine rush, pleasantly sore, or smoking in front of someone else?"
"All and none. I just meant that it's so nice just laying here and doing nothing and being with you."
"You sound like Mouse Tolliver."
"You read those books?"
"Armistead Maupin's books were my bible for a while. I read them when they first came out in the seventies. Met him once, didn't eat him it was before Sure of You came out and I had heard that there was going to be another book so I couldn't off him."
"I love those books." Said Xander as he stubbed out the dog-end. Pulling Spike closer he slipped down into the bed. "Night, babycakes."
Reaching out to turn off the lights Spike said. "I always hated Jon for hurting Michael."
"I could never hate Jon even when he was mean to Mouse."
"Why, Dr Jon Fielding is an arsehole?"
"Because I always cast you as the good doctor."
"Since when?"
"Well. . . when did we first meet?"
"God I love you." He said as he played with Xander's wedding ring.
"I think if anyone was at fault it was Mouse: when they finally got it all together he kicked Jon out because he got bored for Christ sakes!"
"Don't be mean to Mouse." Said Spike softly.
"Why not!"
"Because you always played the part in my mind." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watching the married couple sleep on the couch was getting to be a daily activity for Doyle. Angel was asleep down stairs. Wonder at the biorhythms of the undead. Xander was quickly adapting to Spike's sleep patterns. Doyle was ashamed that he was so jealous of the boy. It wasn't that he wanted Spike or anything, he just wanted his own lover to be that committed. He sighed heavily feeling lost in his own morbid thoughts. Carding his fingers through his hair he sat on the desk and watched as Xander turned over in Spike's arms. Cordelia stormed into the office, smiled at the pair, and looked up at Doyle.
"He home yet?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"Ah, he seemed fine."
"He saw Buffy. He was in Sunnydale for three days, tracking her and that thingymagiggy you saw in your vision. So he wasn't scowling?" He shook his head. "Where is the crabby scowl, the morbid gloom?" she asked her self and then said in a resolved tone. "This just means that it cut deeper then usual. Batten down the hatches, here comes Hurricane Buffy."
"You think? Maybe he's over her." He said sounding both hurt and exasperated.
"I'm sure he is. He loves you but Buffy and he don't get on when their talking, if their glued at the face it's all fine but if they try to talk. . . You have so much to learn little Irish man."
"He didn't even talk to Buffy."
"What, he avoided her? How very adult."
"He's not the child, Cor, I am. I didn't wan' him to see 'er."
"Did you say that?"
"Not in so many words. . . I'm a total prat ok? Drop it."
Smiling she kissed his forehead. "You aren't a total. . . well I don't want to say that word 'cause I'm pretty sure I know what it means. You aren't. You're right he's over her. But as they hate each other I sure it wasn't fun."
"He seemed more upset about Spike and Xander getting married and missin' the three of us bond."
"I'm really glad you three are finally friends."
"It's nice." He said and looked away from the pair as he heard the elevator.
Stepping out of the elevator Angel smiled at Doyle. "You made me shower alone." Then he saw Cordy and started rambling. "Not that, ya know- you would usually shower with me or-" He then saw Spike and Xander on the couch. "Remind me again?"
"Ye pay 'em to turn up so that you can have a look at 'em and make sure they haven't done anythin' stupid to their persons. And so that they don't see their paychecks as an allowance from their da."
"That's right. Thank-you."
"It's not there. Check the counter. Well it has to be somewhere. How do you lose a Great Dane?" said Xander as he nudged Spike closer to the edge of the couch. The three of them made "aww" faces.
"God I hope I'm here when Spike falls." Said Doyle with a smirk.
"Hey." said a voice from the door. Doyle looked up and was confronted by the blond from his vision. She saw Xander and Spike and grimaced.
"Buffy! - Buffy's here - in town. - What brings you to.." Cordy said in a false happy voice.
"I came to see my father." She looked at Angel. "Thought I'd stop by."
Cord laughed a nice hearty false laugh, "What a surprise!"
" Cordelia how are you?"
"Good. I'm good. You?"
"I've been better."
"Uh-huh. - Well, this is Doyle. And he gets visions of people in trouble." Spike suddenly fell off the couch.
"Bloody buggering fuck!"
"And this is us leaving. Commo, Xander. Time to go get those pancakes you so adore."
Xander opened his eyes, saw Buffy, and was immediately alert except for in one way. "Did you find the dog?" he asked clearly thinking his dream was real.
"Yep. Come on!"
Angel and Doyle's eyes met and Doyle smiled slightly to show he understood. The four were going down stairs to use the sewer system when Angel, as an after thought called out. "Love ya."
Doyle just smiled as the elevator sank bellow the floor. Once out of sight he practically swooned. "Pancakes?" he asked.
"Pancakes." Three voices replied. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel fidgeted wishing that his friends and family were behind him and not so far away. "Well, umm, it's good to.. Can I get you anything?"
"How about - an explanation?" She said coldly. It took all his will power not to roll his eyes. "Who do you think you are coming to my town and following me around behind my back? And what the hell is up with you telling Cordelia you love her?"
"I'm sorry. And I wasn't talking to Cordy."
"So what is this? Some new torment you cooked up just for me? And who the hell were you talking to?"
Angel ignored the last question. "No, I don't want to torment.."
"What is it? You can see me, but I can't see you? What are we playing here?" she said angrily, Angelus was screaming in the back of his head to slap the stupid self-centered bitch's face.
"We're not. I'm not playing anything. I wrestled with this decision.."
"Which you made without me."
"I tried to do what I thought was right. We've moved on, the both of us. Riley looks like a real good guy for you. I didn't want to dredge up the past while you were getting it together. It's complicated how this all happened, Buffy, you know? It's kind of a long story."
"You're new sidekick had a vision, I was in it, you came to Sunnydale?"
"Okay, maybe not that long." He said with a shrug. He wanted Doyle there and Buffy gone, or better yet, never there.
"You didn't feel that I was important enough to even tell me that you were there."
Angel had to hold back the heavy sigh, 'yes,' he thought, 'that's exactly it, Buffy'. But out loud he said, "I'm trying to explain. It's because I felt that you're important that I didn't tell you."
"I'm a big girl now, Angel. I'm not in High School anymore. A lot has happened in my life since you left."
"I know." In his mind he added that a lot had happened to him. "I respect that."
"And I don't need you skulking around, trying to protect me. Unless, of course, I'm in some gigantic fight to the death, which- I was last night. That was you, helping me, wasn't it?"
"I was in the neighborhood - skulking." He said softly trying to put the sound of being hurt into his words. He really wanted Doyle. He figured that they'd gone to the pancake place that they all seemed obsessed with. He liked pancakes. How fast could he get Buffy to leave? "I'm sorry if I handled this wrong. I mean, what else was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know. - I just know that when you're around, whether I see you or not, - I feel you - inside - and it throws me."
"Throws me, too." Lied Angel smoothly.
"So let's just stick to the plan. We keep our distance until a lot of time has passed. Given enough time we should be able to.."
"Forget?" said Angel trying not to laugh.
"Yeah. - So, I'm gonna go - start forgetting." She said and as she was about to leave a huge green demon jumped through the window. "Angel!"
Angel sighed heavily and elbowed the demon hard in the forehead, the force broke a red gem in its head. It dropped to the floor dead. "It's a Mohra demon." He explained. "Doyle was talking about them the other day."
"What does-did- it do?"
"It likes violence. And salt. The most notable thing about it is that it's blood have regenerative properties." Buffy looked blank. "It comes back from the dead. Oh! And if it touches an open wound on a vamp it makes them human. Basically, they're a world of badness."
"So it would make you human?" she asked swallowing hard. "And that would be bad?"
It took him a moment to realize why she sounded so hurt. "Buffy," he said slowly. "Even if things were different. . . we've both moved on. Right? I mean- we couldn't just pick up where we left off."
She looked hurt. "I've moved on. How have you?" she asked getting mean. "I mean it's not as though you can be with anyone *right*? Which leads back to why you told Cordelia you loved her."
"Things change, Buff, you said that yourself." He said his temper rising. "So move on. I mean even if I was as human as the day is long: you have Mr. Corn-fed back home."
"You love Cordelia."
"I wasn't talking to Cordy." He wanted out the room was getting smaller by the minute. He wanted his family and laugher. His family? Spike and Xander sure, but Doyle? He wanted the man there was no doubt but he didn't want to scare him away with the intensity of his feelings. He wanted him forever. Of course becoming human was bad, Doyle was almost immortal and would be even more so if Angel would just get up the guts and claim him. Fuck Buffy's feelings. She wanted to be treated like an adult. Fine.
He was silent for too long. "Finish the thought, Angel. Who were you talking to if not Cordy? Not Spike or Xander as they're together to a disgusting extent. I can't believe you condone that relationship." She spat the words out. He was nearly growling. "The Irish guy?" she said with a dry mean laugh. "What makes him special? And what about your soul?"
"Ok. Let's do this one thing at a time. Spike and Xander were made for each other and are happy together if you could have gotten over your own bullheadedness you would have realized that and you wouldn't have lost Xander, which you most certainly have. And I don't even think you realize how much you meant to the boy. But none of you have even called him. Secondly, Willow never cursed me she gave me a gift. I can't lose it. And most important of all, I love him, Buffy. This isn't about his being *special*." She threw herself at him and kissed him harshly. He pushed her away with equal fervor. "Desperate is not a good look on you. Nothing you can do will change my mind. If a hundred years in hell taught me anything it was that what we had was wrong, I would go so far as to say it was even depraved. I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. But honestly what choice did you leave me with?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The repetitiveness of the sound of his fork tapping the table was calming Doyle. It was pissing everyone else off, though. Xander reached out and covered his hand. "He'll be here as fast as he can."
"She's pretty."
"She's also a self-righteous bitch." Said Cordy in a soft manner but with venom pointed towards Buffy.
"I feel like the other woman." He said bitterly.
"He told you he loved you right in front of her." Said Spike through a mouthful of raspberry pancakes.
"Yeah I guess."
"We here at the weather station have your continuing coverage of hurricane Buffy. As you can see on the monitor, we are now in the eye of the storm. Right about now everything has deteriorated into name throwing and possibly violence. Most likely he's screaming about loving you while she stands there looking hurt so that he'll feel guilty although I'm sure she's fucked everything in a ten mile radius and shouldn't be hurt that he's moved on." Said Cordy, pretty much entirely in one breath. Angel slid into the both next to Doyle he handed her a twenty dollar bill. "What's this?"
"I came into view before Spike could say, 'how much do ya want ta bet?'." He said in a pretty good imitation of his childe. "I figured as both of you are perpetually broke you would have wagered twenty dollars." He squeezed Doyle's thigh. "That was hell. I kept thinking about pancakes and she caught me not listening. . . it went seriously down hill from there. Hurricane Buffy at it's best."
"You know about Hurricane Buffy?" asked Cordy.
He sighed and spoke as though to a child. "I told you that joke, Cor."
"Oh, I guess I just use it so often I forgot."
"I really want pancakes."
"You don't eat." Said Cord.
"Yeah, that kind of a self flogging thing. I'm really not in the mood to hate myself right now, Buffy's doing enough of that for us both." He said as he ate of Doyle's plate. "This is really good." Doyle reached out slowly and touched Angel's face. Angel looked up his smile gone in its place are eyes filled with need. The need to be held, the need to be loved, the need to be accepted. Doyle pulled him close for a desperate, need filled kiss. A faint smile played on Angel's lips. "We need to have a chat later."
Writer: Azure K Mello
Disclaimer- I don't own the shoes I'm currently dancing in what's the likelihood I own anything in Joss' universe? I own the original novels. . . I bought them in Borders, and I own the DVDs. I don't however make money off of this I just seem to spend a lot on it. I in no way intend to infringe copyrights. I'm just entertaining myself, honestly, I'm shocked that anyone's read it.
Setting: somewhere during I Will Remember You, some conversation is mangled out of said ep. And in Buff's time line it's at the thanksgiving ep. Keep in mind that I am a strong believer in the fact that one little thing can change the course of history, hence cannon gets meddled with.
Warning: SLASH Angel/Doyle. Spike/Xander. Don't like, don't read, don't flame. Also rather heavy mentions of abuse.
Note: Armistead Maupin is the most amazing writer ever. Jon and Michael Mouse are the most perfect couple ever. The man knows how to make you cry and laugh and feel. He's amazing. If you think hey! I'll read that. Listen to this piece of advice read More Tales of the City Before Tales of the City. If I had read them in the other order I never would have read the rest because Mary Ann is such a bitch in the first book, and Brian is so shallow, and Mona is so cold. But they are defiantly the best books ever. Plus, Jon is described as a white blond who'd look gorgeous in an aerial photo and Mouse is a thin brunette who thinks everyone hates him so clearly every time they break up I'm like. "No, Xander. . . I mean Mouse." And "How could you Spike! Jon, I mean: how could you Jon." Anyway that's enough ranting.
Second note: sorry this took so long to get out to you all. My father just got fired and he felt now would be as good a time as any to go to England to see my grandfather who's on his last legs. At the same time as this Dad's house is under serious construction (new kitchen, three bedrooms, billiards room, two bathrooms, pool, four car garage and movie theater: he's going to be working until the day he dies) and was flooding and having power outages up the wazzo. My step mother was kinda freaking out and so Isaly and I have been in Jersey a lot this week taking my two younger brother (8 and 4) out so that she would have time to go running and write her letters of solicitation in peace, (she organizing her church's fund raiser. Can you say social climber debutant?). Actually I really like my step mother I just enjoy making fun of her. I've also been busy entertaining my other grandfather who, as y'all know, has been staying with me.
Thanks to Poison for being the fastest Beta I've ever had!
Section rating: R
Part 11/?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey." said Angel walking into the office. Cordy had gone home a few hours earlier. Spike and Xander were curled up asleep on the couch. "What do I pay them for?"
"You pay 'em to turn up so that you can have a look at 'em and make sure they haven't done anythin' stupid to their persons. Anyway, they're sleepin' off the effects o' yesterday."
"Yesterday? What did I miss?"
"Fucking amazing pancakes and a nightclub."
"And again I wonder what I pay them for."
"How was Sunnydale?"
"Hot, muggy, dull. I crashed in the mansion and I swear to god someone is throwing massive orgies in my house."
"I'm sorry. Ye ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. And we saved Thanksgiving so what could be better? Any big bads here? Any leads on Anyanka?"
"No big bads, well, except Spike who my ice cream that was in the fridge. And the boy took Anya as he called her t' the Prom."
"You're kidding." He looked over a the pair on the couch and then it dawned on him. "What were you thinking?" he roared waking the couple.
Spike rolled his eyes. "Bugger off, Sire. I was havin' a nice dream. I was in Bermuda at a bar on the beach at night."
"Have you got any idea what you've done?"
"No, please, Angel, explain it to us." Said a sarcastic sleepy Xander. The yawn that followed the statement made Spike pull an "aww" face. "We're not idiots."
"No, I know you aren't. But you're both so young and, and: I'm the sire, I have to be responsible. And now I have to be responsible for you both."
"We can take care of ourselves. And I hardly think you're responsible for me." Said Xander starting to sit.
"No , he's right, pet. Your mine, and I'm his childe. So yeah that makes him responsible for us both." Spike spoke softly not looking at his sire.
"And if I say that this." Said Angel pointing at them both. "Doesn't happen then it *doesn't* happen."
"I belong to Angel first and foremost." Said Spike looking down at his chest. "So if he doesn't give us permission the whole thing is null and void."
"That's nice. Let's go home." Said Xander with cold anger as he watched his lover fold into himself. "You can tell us your *decision* in the morning." He smiled a brief sad smile at Doyle. "See ya in the morning, sleep well, man." And they were gone.
Looking at Doyle Angel saw that same cold anger. "Last night at the club Xander said he felt real bad for hating you for something that wasn't your fault. You do this and he'll never have to feel bad for hating you again."
"You think I should let them do this?" he asked angrily. "They're both children."
"I don't know, I'm not the sire." He said sarcastically. "All I know is that it's been real nice to see them so not miserable for the last two days. Spike will always be a child, there is no getting around that, and it's not as though one morning Xander's going to wake up and make a run for it or vice versa. I know that if one of them left it would literally kill the other. But that won't happen. And if you say no it won't change anything, they won't have the title but they'll still be together. The only thing your disapproval will do is push them away from you. And they're your family so that would suck. It'll just reinforce all Angelus ever said about Spike being nothing more than an object for you to possess. You have to relinquish your ownership of the boy. You have to let Xander have him if you don't you'll lose Spike anyway."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As he sat down on the couch the silent vampire started to shake. He hadn't said a word the whole walk back to their building. Silent tears started to fall down his face. Xander stroked his arm but Spike shied away from his touch. "He hates me. He always has, I always tried to believe that somewhere deep down he loved me. And you wouldn't let me and I hated you for it. I know, I know. But I never thought he would sink this low. I belong to him and he barely would look at me when I was so desperate to be his and now he won't let me go. I'm not yours. And you're not mine." He said softly.
"Bullshit. I might get the title but you are no less mine then you were an hour ago."
Laughing through tears Spike said. "No, you see if he says that this is nothing I'll lose you to old age. You won't be able to exist purely on the will we share. The connection'll be gone. You'll die and I'll be alone."
"No you won't. I promised you I would there with you. You won't be alone. I promised. I will find some other way to be with you even if it means making a pact with the devil. I keep my promises."
Spike sniffed hard and crawled into Xander's lap finally allowing the boy to touch him. "I don't want to be alone."
"You won't be."
"But I'll never be yours."
The words hurt and Xander had to bite his lip to stop it from quivering. "So what? Wow, Angel can keep an unwilling canary in its cage, bully for him. That doesn't change how I feel about you." And he prodded Spike's arm. "See no alarms go off when I touch you telling me to get away from *his* property. The whole ownership thing squifes me out if it isn't mutual." He pulled off his wedding ring the tears flowed down his face freely while he tried to keep the anger and fear out of his voice. "This was bought in a pawn store, it's cute and symbolic: it's not real. Being married to you was the happiest 48 hours of my life. And if he says that this isn't real, well he's a fucking liar. Because this is the only thing that's real. I don't need a fucking ring to tell me that and it certainly won't be disproved by a jealous father. To recap this is the real thing not some intangible bond between you and him."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Said Xander with a laugh at Spike's childish hope. "And we don't need to worry yet, he's at home getting yelled at by Doyle who will hopefully make him see the light. Then he'll call and apologize."
"Actually." Said Angel popping his head around the door. "I walked over. Because I felt my arsehole level needed a face to face apology." Xander looked up and smiled gratefully, thank god for Doyle. "I'm sorry. It just, this is very serious as you both know and to walk in and be confronted by my childe and his husband was more than I could deal with. And I over reacted and said awful things that I shouldn't have. I am responsible for you both, which means that I should be trying to ensure your happiness not rule you with an iron fist. And I'm really happy for you because I know that you can be really excellent together. So again I'm sorry and you're both entitled to ignore this defense and hate me for as long as you like but just at sometime come back to me. Ok? I love you both. And I would hate to lose you because I made a mistake."
Xander got up slowly and hugged the man. Angel stood rigid dew to shock. "Thank-you." Said Xander, "You have no idea how much this means."
Angel kissed the boy's forehead, he was family now. "I guess you won't have to make a pact with the devil." He said with a soft laugh. Angel's eyes shone with appreciation, though he said the words flippantly he had openly stated that Xander would do anything for his childe.
"How long were you eavesdropping?"
"A while I needed to wait until one of you brought up the possibility that I wasn't evil so that you wouldn't tear me apart the moment I walked in. And it took a long time for you to get to that point." Xander just smiled as the older man brushed the hair away from his forehead he hugged Angel tightly again. "Put your wedding ring back on, ya melodramatic dolt." He looked over Xander's shoulder. "Are you ok, Will?"
"Is this real?"
"Yes."
"You take it back?"
"No."
"Thank-you." He never looked the man in the eye and Angel just nodded and gave a resigned sigh.
"I'll go." He said and left silently.
Turning back he saw that Spike was in a near catatonic state on the couch. As he dropped down to his knees he laid his hands in the front of his face. "How is my husband?"
"Fine."
"Mine." Said Xander taking Spike's hand in his own. And when the blond looked up he said. "Yours."
Spike smiled full watt and then went solemn. "I have to tell you something. It can't be ignored now that we're eternal." Xander felt his skin prickle in fear and anticipation for what was about to be said. "I suck my thumb when I sleep."
"Left or right?"
"Left." Said Spike with a bemused look.
"You are so fucking cute."
"Shut-up." He said with a sullen smile. "So commo I need a secret of yours so that I have blackmail to ensure that my thumb news goes no further than the two of us."
"You know all my secrets." He said but Spike just cocked an eyebrow. "I chain smoke when I'm really upset, or when I'm bored, or by myself, or drunk."
"So what you're saying is that you're a closet smoker. I knew it! I smelled it on you but I just assumed it was me! I thought I was going crazy." Xander just laughed and stood up pulling Spike with him. "I was so scared, Xander. I was so fucking scared."
"I know, babycakes, I know. I was too."
"But you were so calm."
"Because you needed me to be calm. I was wiggin' on the inside."
"Yeah?"
"Completely." He said with a tired smile. "Let's go to bed. We can figure all this out in the morning." Slowly he ran a finger down Spike's cloth covered chest. "Right now I want you, and only you and I don't want to think too much about what that means."
"You want me?" he asked. Xander nodded. "Well that's nice but I *need* you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nervously, Doyle pulled all of the skin off his fingers while Angel was out. He was worried about the vampire, about his feelings getting hurt or that he might hurt the others. He sat humming Danny Boy, he hadn't been drunk in a long time, the thought hit him as he usually sang the song loudly and cried even louder while intoxicated. A drink would be really welcome right about now. He drummed his fingers on the table of the little kitchen praying to his Catholic god that his vampire lover would be home soon. In the eyes of Catholicism the fact he was with Angel was wrong and the fact that Angel was a vampire was even wronger- not a word but it would do as his mind was falling to pieces as he waited for him. He went back into his thoughts, if there was a god then he couldn't possibly hate Doyle. He was Catholic with the capitol C. There had to be a god, right? He thought of Angela's Ashes: there are some things worse than a poor childhood, a poor Irish childhood for one, and a poor Catholic Irish childhood was the worst. Looking back his mother really over did the repentance thing, he always thought that was how normal Irish woman acted but in hindsight he figured it was just contrition for his father. Time dragged and finally Angel came into the room. He was smiling.
"Hey, you."
"Is everything ok? What did you say?"
"It's all ok. I just told them I was sorry, and that I wouldn't stop them, and that I was happy for them. That's right. Right? I just- I wanted to do what was best and they're so very young and I'm so very scared for them. And I thought that if I could just say, "No, Spike's mine" I could control it."
"Don't lie," said Doyle softly, "ye didn't tink. Ye just acted and when ye just act ye do an awful lot of things tha' remind me of Angelus. Ye got freaked and ye got possessive because Spike is *yours*." He felt a lump in his throat and tried unsuccessfully to swallow. "The kindest ting ye can do right now is just let 'em be."
"I love you with everything I am, Doyle. What I feel for Spike is what any father feels for his son. Yes, I get protective and worried for him, but that's like any normal father when his son gets behind the wheel of a car. What I feel for him in no way negates my need and love for you. I love him I'm in love with you."
"Yeah?"
"God yes." Said Angel pulling the boy up from his chair and into his arms. "Love you and need you more than anything or one in the world. Don't doubt that for a minute."
"Love you too. So what happened in Sunnydale?"
"We stopped the Indian ghosts, sorry, Native American ghosts. Oz got funny syphilis. Giles yelled at me for not letting Buffy know I was there. And When I left they were having a nice Thanksgiving diner."
"Oh yeah, it's Thanksgiving init?"
"Yep," said one Irish man to the other. "Let's go to bed?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike had his head resting on Xander's chest. His eyes were heavy lidded as he chewed his thumb. Partially sitting Xander was sucking down a fag and running his fingers through Spike's hair. Smiling Xan said. "You have no idea how good this feels."
"Nicotine rush, pleasantly sore, or smoking in front of someone else?"
"All and none. I just meant that it's so nice just laying here and doing nothing and being with you."
"You sound like Mouse Tolliver."
"You read those books?"
"Armistead Maupin's books were my bible for a while. I read them when they first came out in the seventies. Met him once, didn't eat him it was before Sure of You came out and I had heard that there was going to be another book so I couldn't off him."
"I love those books." Said Xander as he stubbed out the dog-end. Pulling Spike closer he slipped down into the bed. "Night, babycakes."
Reaching out to turn off the lights Spike said. "I always hated Jon for hurting Michael."
"I could never hate Jon even when he was mean to Mouse."
"Why, Dr Jon Fielding is an arsehole?"
"Because I always cast you as the good doctor."
"Since when?"
"Well. . . when did we first meet?"
"God I love you." He said as he played with Xander's wedding ring.
"I think if anyone was at fault it was Mouse: when they finally got it all together he kicked Jon out because he got bored for Christ sakes!"
"Don't be mean to Mouse." Said Spike softly.
"Why not!"
"Because you always played the part in my mind." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watching the married couple sleep on the couch was getting to be a daily activity for Doyle. Angel was asleep down stairs. Wonder at the biorhythms of the undead. Xander was quickly adapting to Spike's sleep patterns. Doyle was ashamed that he was so jealous of the boy. It wasn't that he wanted Spike or anything, he just wanted his own lover to be that committed. He sighed heavily feeling lost in his own morbid thoughts. Carding his fingers through his hair he sat on the desk and watched as Xander turned over in Spike's arms. Cordelia stormed into the office, smiled at the pair, and looked up at Doyle.
"He home yet?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"Ah, he seemed fine."
"He saw Buffy. He was in Sunnydale for three days, tracking her and that thingymagiggy you saw in your vision. So he wasn't scowling?" He shook his head. "Where is the crabby scowl, the morbid gloom?" she asked her self and then said in a resolved tone. "This just means that it cut deeper then usual. Batten down the hatches, here comes Hurricane Buffy."
"You think? Maybe he's over her." He said sounding both hurt and exasperated.
"I'm sure he is. He loves you but Buffy and he don't get on when their talking, if their glued at the face it's all fine but if they try to talk. . . You have so much to learn little Irish man."
"He didn't even talk to Buffy."
"What, he avoided her? How very adult."
"He's not the child, Cor, I am. I didn't wan' him to see 'er."
"Did you say that?"
"Not in so many words. . . I'm a total prat ok? Drop it."
Smiling she kissed his forehead. "You aren't a total. . . well I don't want to say that word 'cause I'm pretty sure I know what it means. You aren't. You're right he's over her. But as they hate each other I sure it wasn't fun."
"He seemed more upset about Spike and Xander getting married and missin' the three of us bond."
"I'm really glad you three are finally friends."
"It's nice." He said and looked away from the pair as he heard the elevator.
Stepping out of the elevator Angel smiled at Doyle. "You made me shower alone." Then he saw Cordy and started rambling. "Not that, ya know- you would usually shower with me or-" He then saw Spike and Xander on the couch. "Remind me again?"
"Ye pay 'em to turn up so that you can have a look at 'em and make sure they haven't done anythin' stupid to their persons. And so that they don't see their paychecks as an allowance from their da."
"That's right. Thank-you."
"It's not there. Check the counter. Well it has to be somewhere. How do you lose a Great Dane?" said Xander as he nudged Spike closer to the edge of the couch. The three of them made "aww" faces.
"God I hope I'm here when Spike falls." Said Doyle with a smirk.
"Hey." said a voice from the door. Doyle looked up and was confronted by the blond from his vision. She saw Xander and Spike and grimaced.
"Buffy! - Buffy's here - in town. - What brings you to.." Cordy said in a false happy voice.
"I came to see my father." She looked at Angel. "Thought I'd stop by."
Cord laughed a nice hearty false laugh, "What a surprise!"
" Cordelia how are you?"
"Good. I'm good. You?"
"I've been better."
"Uh-huh. - Well, this is Doyle. And he gets visions of people in trouble." Spike suddenly fell off the couch.
"Bloody buggering fuck!"
"And this is us leaving. Commo, Xander. Time to go get those pancakes you so adore."
Xander opened his eyes, saw Buffy, and was immediately alert except for in one way. "Did you find the dog?" he asked clearly thinking his dream was real.
"Yep. Come on!"
Angel and Doyle's eyes met and Doyle smiled slightly to show he understood. The four were going down stairs to use the sewer system when Angel, as an after thought called out. "Love ya."
Doyle just smiled as the elevator sank bellow the floor. Once out of sight he practically swooned. "Pancakes?" he asked.
"Pancakes." Three voices replied. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel fidgeted wishing that his friends and family were behind him and not so far away. "Well, umm, it's good to.. Can I get you anything?"
"How about - an explanation?" She said coldly. It took all his will power not to roll his eyes. "Who do you think you are coming to my town and following me around behind my back? And what the hell is up with you telling Cordelia you love her?"
"I'm sorry. And I wasn't talking to Cordy."
"So what is this? Some new torment you cooked up just for me? And who the hell were you talking to?"
Angel ignored the last question. "No, I don't want to torment.."
"What is it? You can see me, but I can't see you? What are we playing here?" she said angrily, Angelus was screaming in the back of his head to slap the stupid self-centered bitch's face.
"We're not. I'm not playing anything. I wrestled with this decision.."
"Which you made without me."
"I tried to do what I thought was right. We've moved on, the both of us. Riley looks like a real good guy for you. I didn't want to dredge up the past while you were getting it together. It's complicated how this all happened, Buffy, you know? It's kind of a long story."
"You're new sidekick had a vision, I was in it, you came to Sunnydale?"
"Okay, maybe not that long." He said with a shrug. He wanted Doyle there and Buffy gone, or better yet, never there.
"You didn't feel that I was important enough to even tell me that you were there."
Angel had to hold back the heavy sigh, 'yes,' he thought, 'that's exactly it, Buffy'. But out loud he said, "I'm trying to explain. It's because I felt that you're important that I didn't tell you."
"I'm a big girl now, Angel. I'm not in High School anymore. A lot has happened in my life since you left."
"I know." In his mind he added that a lot had happened to him. "I respect that."
"And I don't need you skulking around, trying to protect me. Unless, of course, I'm in some gigantic fight to the death, which- I was last night. That was you, helping me, wasn't it?"
"I was in the neighborhood - skulking." He said softly trying to put the sound of being hurt into his words. He really wanted Doyle. He figured that they'd gone to the pancake place that they all seemed obsessed with. He liked pancakes. How fast could he get Buffy to leave? "I'm sorry if I handled this wrong. I mean, what else was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know. - I just know that when you're around, whether I see you or not, - I feel you - inside - and it throws me."
"Throws me, too." Lied Angel smoothly.
"So let's just stick to the plan. We keep our distance until a lot of time has passed. Given enough time we should be able to.."
"Forget?" said Angel trying not to laugh.
"Yeah. - So, I'm gonna go - start forgetting." She said and as she was about to leave a huge green demon jumped through the window. "Angel!"
Angel sighed heavily and elbowed the demon hard in the forehead, the force broke a red gem in its head. It dropped to the floor dead. "It's a Mohra demon." He explained. "Doyle was talking about them the other day."
"What does-did- it do?"
"It likes violence. And salt. The most notable thing about it is that it's blood have regenerative properties." Buffy looked blank. "It comes back from the dead. Oh! And if it touches an open wound on a vamp it makes them human. Basically, they're a world of badness."
"So it would make you human?" she asked swallowing hard. "And that would be bad?"
It took him a moment to realize why she sounded so hurt. "Buffy," he said slowly. "Even if things were different. . . we've both moved on. Right? I mean- we couldn't just pick up where we left off."
She looked hurt. "I've moved on. How have you?" she asked getting mean. "I mean it's not as though you can be with anyone *right*? Which leads back to why you told Cordelia you loved her."
"Things change, Buff, you said that yourself." He said his temper rising. "So move on. I mean even if I was as human as the day is long: you have Mr. Corn-fed back home."
"You love Cordelia."
"I wasn't talking to Cordy." He wanted out the room was getting smaller by the minute. He wanted his family and laugher. His family? Spike and Xander sure, but Doyle? He wanted the man there was no doubt but he didn't want to scare him away with the intensity of his feelings. He wanted him forever. Of course becoming human was bad, Doyle was almost immortal and would be even more so if Angel would just get up the guts and claim him. Fuck Buffy's feelings. She wanted to be treated like an adult. Fine.
He was silent for too long. "Finish the thought, Angel. Who were you talking to if not Cordy? Not Spike or Xander as they're together to a disgusting extent. I can't believe you condone that relationship." She spat the words out. He was nearly growling. "The Irish guy?" she said with a dry mean laugh. "What makes him special? And what about your soul?"
"Ok. Let's do this one thing at a time. Spike and Xander were made for each other and are happy together if you could have gotten over your own bullheadedness you would have realized that and you wouldn't have lost Xander, which you most certainly have. And I don't even think you realize how much you meant to the boy. But none of you have even called him. Secondly, Willow never cursed me she gave me a gift. I can't lose it. And most important of all, I love him, Buffy. This isn't about his being *special*." She threw herself at him and kissed him harshly. He pushed her away with equal fervor. "Desperate is not a good look on you. Nothing you can do will change my mind. If a hundred years in hell taught me anything it was that what we had was wrong, I would go so far as to say it was even depraved. I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. But honestly what choice did you leave me with?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The repetitiveness of the sound of his fork tapping the table was calming Doyle. It was pissing everyone else off, though. Xander reached out and covered his hand. "He'll be here as fast as he can."
"She's pretty."
"She's also a self-righteous bitch." Said Cordy in a soft manner but with venom pointed towards Buffy.
"I feel like the other woman." He said bitterly.
"He told you he loved you right in front of her." Said Spike through a mouthful of raspberry pancakes.
"Yeah I guess."
"We here at the weather station have your continuing coverage of hurricane Buffy. As you can see on the monitor, we are now in the eye of the storm. Right about now everything has deteriorated into name throwing and possibly violence. Most likely he's screaming about loving you while she stands there looking hurt so that he'll feel guilty although I'm sure she's fucked everything in a ten mile radius and shouldn't be hurt that he's moved on." Said Cordy, pretty much entirely in one breath. Angel slid into the both next to Doyle he handed her a twenty dollar bill. "What's this?"
"I came into view before Spike could say, 'how much do ya want ta bet?'." He said in a pretty good imitation of his childe. "I figured as both of you are perpetually broke you would have wagered twenty dollars." He squeezed Doyle's thigh. "That was hell. I kept thinking about pancakes and she caught me not listening. . . it went seriously down hill from there. Hurricane Buffy at it's best."
"You know about Hurricane Buffy?" asked Cordy.
He sighed and spoke as though to a child. "I told you that joke, Cor."
"Oh, I guess I just use it so often I forgot."
"I really want pancakes."
"You don't eat." Said Cord.
"Yeah, that kind of a self flogging thing. I'm really not in the mood to hate myself right now, Buffy's doing enough of that for us both." He said as he ate of Doyle's plate. "This is really good." Doyle reached out slowly and touched Angel's face. Angel looked up his smile gone in its place are eyes filled with need. The need to be held, the need to be loved, the need to be accepted. Doyle pulled him close for a desperate, need filled kiss. A faint smile played on Angel's lips. "We need to have a chat later."