Act V Scene I

"So Lee wrote Sakura-sama a letter, huh?" Shino asked Kiba. Accompanied by Akamaru, they were hanging out in front of a forest by the beach. "What does it say?"

"It's sort of pathetic. I'd rather not share it," replied Kiba.

"Okay then," shrugged Shino.

Naruto, Hinata, Sasuke, Konohamaru and a bunch of other Konohan Jounins walked out of the forest and approached them.

"Hey, don't you work for Lady Sakura?" asked Naruto.

"Hi, Kiba-san and Shino-san," Hinata bowed politely.

"Hinato-kun, you're still working for Duke Naruto? Isn't that a little low for someone of your stature?" said Shino.

"Sakura doesn't want to talk to you," Kiba told Naruto.

"Go get Lady Sakura," commanded Naruto, tossing Kiba some money. "Fetch the love of my life! I'll give you more when you come back!"

"Hai!" Kiba and Akamaru eagerly caught the bills. They raced off to find the pink-haired lady.

Tenten walked by them, accompanied by Asuma and Kurenai.

"Here's the lady that saved my life. Arigatou gozaimasu," Hinata bowed politely.

"What's this all about?" Naruto asked the officers, pointing at Tenten rudely.

"Her name is Tenten, Naruto-dono. She robbed you some long time ago," Asuma reminded him. "We caught her participating in a fight."

"How can you not remember? You made a whole big fuss about making sure she was exiled, remember, Naruto-dono?" said Kurenai.

"Well, it was good of Tenten-san to help me," Hinata bowed again.

"Yeah, I remember now… how come you're back!" Naruto demanded.

"I was shipwrecked here. That ungrateful dog needed saving, so I kindly offered by services and money. Then, he betrays me the second I need his help!" Tenten pointed at Hinata, the chains around her wrist rattling. "He wouldn't even give my wallet back!"

"What?" Hinata blinked.

"She lies! Throw her to the fish!" Naruto commanded.

"Pardon my boss's stupidity," Sasuke sighed. "When did you two come into town?"

"Just today. Although before that, I supported him for whole three months! We didn't spend one second out of each other's sight!" Tenten stated. "Unless, you know, one of us had to use the bathroom or something."

"How is that possible? He's been my coworker for longer than that," Sasuke frowned.

Sakura, Ino, Kiba, Akamaru and Sakura's bodyguards exited the forest and entered the beach.

"Hey! Sakura-chan!" Naruto grinned widely, waving.

"Oh. It's you," Sakura glowered at Naruto. "You told me that Hinato was here, Kiba!"

"And he is," Kiba pointed at Hinata. "I brought her. Hand it over," Kiba held his hand out.

"Very well," Naruto gave him some cash.

"Kiba! Naruto paid you to bring me here!" Sakura glowered at the clown.

"Hey, money makes the world go around," Kiba shrugged, waddling up the bills into little balls and juggling them. "I've got somewhere to be." He walked back towards the direction of Sakura's house.

"What do you want, Naruto?" Sakura demanded.

"Sakura-chan, I think we should be together," Naruto tried to hold Sakura's hand.

"Ugh! Get away from me, you disgusting idiot!" Sakura jumped back.

"But Sakura-chan, we'd be so happy together!"

"You always say the same thing, and my answer's the same! Leave me alone!" Sakura yelled.

"Sakura-chan!"

"I hate you!" Sakura shrieked.

"Fine!" Naruto crossed his arms. "You're so rude and I'm sick of it! There's plenty of other cute girls in Konoha who will appreciate me!" Hinata's ears perked up.

"Actually, there isn't…" Kurenai muttered matter-of-factly to Asuma.

"Come on, Hinato! Let's go!" Naruto turned to leave. Hinata bowed politely and started to follow him.

"Where are you going, Hinato-kun?" Sakura called after them.

Hinata shrugged, not wanting to talk to her.

"Come on, Hinato! Stay, my husband!" Sakura commanded.

Both Naruto and Hinata stopped in their tracks. They slowly swerved around, black and blue lines dancing down their faces. Naruto's forehead was decorated with a small anger mark, and Hinata had beads of sweat dripping down her face.

"H-hus…band?" Hinata squeaked.

"Husband!" Naruto gasped.

"Yeah. As in the love of my life, 'til death do us apart. You know, husband!" Sakura smiled dreamily.

"Hinato! Is this true!" Naruto demanded.

"Of course it is! Would I lie?" Sakura snapped.

"I can't believe you would take away the one I love; the one you helped me woo! So betrayal is your specialty, eh, Hinato? Enough of this! I'm going home!" Naruto started to leave again. Hinata raced after him.

"Where are you going, my love?" cried Sakura.

"After the only person I love!" Hinata spoke up. "No way we're married! I don't like women! The only person here I love is Naruto-dono!" Enter uncomfortable silence.

"Oh… wow…" Naruto finally spoke. "Um, it's really nice of you, Hinata… but I don't swing that way… on the other hand, Sasuke might…"

"Shut up, baka!" Sasuke and Ino both punched him.

"Of course we're married! You!" Sakura pointed at her one of her bodyguards, Anko. "Go get the priest Maito Gai!" Anko bowed and dashed away.

"It's not true, Naruto-dono! Don't believe anything she says!" Hinata pleaded.

"Don't be afraid of my high position, Hinato! I love you!" Sakura squealed. Anko returned with Gai in tow. "Look, here is the man who married us! Well, we're not married yet, but we can get married right now! Come on!" Sakura linked arms with Hinata. "Hit it, priest!"

"Dearly beloved!" Gai bellowed. "We are gathered to celebrate the union of Haruno Sakura and-"

"No! I don't like girls!" Hinata screamed, breaking out of Sakura's grasp. "Naruto-dono! I never betrayed you! Please believe me!"

"Where are you going!" Sakura grabbed onto Hinata's ponytail.

Of course, most of you will remember that Hinata's hair is not long enough make a ponytail. The people gathered on the beach soon realized that when Hinata took her place at Naruto's side, and Sakura was left holding a long, black wig. Everyone gasped. Shikamaru strolled out of the forest, holding his bleeding forehead.

"How troublesome. Why can't he get his own doctor?" he grumbled.

"Shikamaru! What happened?" Sakura gasped.

"Chouji got injured, and he sent me to get him a doctor," Shikamaru explained.

"Who did this?" Ino demanded, gently examining his forehead.

"Duke Naruto's messenger. We thought he was a coward, but we were clearly wrong," said Shikamaru.

"One of my men did this?" Naruto raised his eyebrows. "Sasuke! What did I tell you about attacking innocent villagers?"

"No, not Sasuke. Hinato. That one!" Shikamaru pointed accusingly at Hinata.

"Me? It couldn't be! I suck at fighting!" Hinata denied.

"Try telling that to that poor loser. Look, here he comes," Shikamaru observed. Indeed, Chouji stumbled out of the forest, with Kiba guiding him. His expression stated that he was drunk.

"Hey! What's wrong with you?" asked Naruto.

"That's the one… you hurt me… I'ma kick your ass…" Chouji slurred. "Hey Hinato you look a little different… funny…"

"He's very drunk, as you can see," both Kiba and Akamaru's lips curled in disgust.

"Yeah I am… I want food… where's my doctor Shika-kun?"

"Take him away! A disgraceful sight like that is not permitted at my wedding!" Sakura shrieked.

"I'm so drunk!" Chouji giggled.

"Good-bye!" Shikamaru grabbed one of Chouji's arms.

"Have fun!" Kiba told them, taking Chouji's other arm. With their combined effort, they were able to drag Chouji with them.

"Now that the barbarians are gone, let us resume the wedding!" declared Sakura.

"Do you, Hyuga Hinata, take Haruno Sak-"

"Tenten! I heard about what happened! Are you okay?" Neji rushed out of the forest.

"Who is this?" asked Ino.

"They're identical!" gasped Naruto.

"Neji?" Tenten addressed him warily.

"Tenten!" Neji ran to her side.

"But if you're Neji, who is that?" Tenten pointed at Hinata.

"Are you brothers?" asked Naruto. "You must be brothers!"

"Brother? I don't have a brother," Neji raised an eyebrow. "I have a cousin that sort of looks like me, but she drowned."

"Neji-nii-san?" Hinata ventured up to him.

"Hinata-sama?" Neji gasped. They stared at each other.

"Neji-nii-san! I thought you drowned! I'm so happy you're okay!" Hinata cried, hugging her cousin.

"I thought you drowned, too, but I guess not," Neji patted Hinata's back uncomfortably. He slowly pushed her away. "Um… not so close."

"Wait. You're telling me that Hinato, the man I love, is really a woman?" Sakura exclaimed. Everyone gasped.

"Well, my name's actually Hinata," said Hinata.

"And I got engaged to her cousin?" continued Sakura. Everyone gasped.

"We didn't get engaged!" Neji protested.

"My trusted servant is really a girl?" shouted Naruto. Everyone gasped.

"…Yes." Hinata blushed.

"I guess so," shrugged Neji.

"Unbelievable! I am so embarrassed!" Sakura cried. Ino burst out laughing.

"Hinata! So you really are a girl! I thought you looked a little girly!" Naruto yelled. Hinata nodded, turning tomato-red. Kiba entered the beach again.

"Lady Sakura. Rock Lee has a letter for you," Kiba presented her with a scroll.

"What's this?" Sakura opened the letter and read it out loud. "Dearest Sakura: Your sweet face makes me smile as I imagine you. I think of you everyday that I rot away in this horrible room. I don't understand why you sent me away after I followed the instructions of your letter, but I still love you more than ever. I love your beautiful smile, your luscious rose hair that will definitely grow back to all its glory, your gorgeous green eyes, your bright personality and your fiery determination. I am always thinking of you. Please think about me! Love, Rock Lee."

"Ugh. Sickening." Ino made a face.

"What letter is he talking about? I didn't write him a letter." Ino giggled nervously. "Kiba, go get Lee," Sakura told him. Kiba bowed and went to fetch him.

"You really are a girl. You're sorta cute. Wanna go out?" Naruto asked. Hinata turned purple but managed a small nod.

"Wait! I'm not giving you the hand of my kin so easily!" Neji interrupted. "You must prove your worthiness!"

"What do you want?" asked Naruto, pulling out his wallet.

"Free Tenten!" Neji told him.

"Done!" Naruto snapped his fingers. "You heard the man!" Asuma and Kurenai looked at each other, shrugged, and unshackled Tenten.

"Neji! You didn't betray me after all!" Tenten cried, hugging him.

"Sakura-sama!" Lee and Kiba came racing out of the woods.

"Lee… I read your letter…" said Sakura.

"And I read yours!" Lee gave Sakura the prank scroll. Sakura opened it and frowned.

"This isn't my writing, Lee. This is Ino's." Sakura read more of the letter. She reached over, took Ino's hair, and yanked on it.

"Ow!" Ino cried.

"What did you do!" Sakura demanded.

"We played a prank," Shikamaru reentered the scene supporting Chouji. "I take full responsibility for it."

"Doctor… get me…food," Chouji slurred.

"Chouji, Kiba and Shino were in on it, too," said Ino.

"How dare you bullies pick on my best employee!" Sakura was breathing fire.

"I take full responsibility. I'll accept whatever punishment you think is fit," Shikamaru bowed. Ino seemed impressed.

"No! All of you will be punished! All of you will work under Chouji!" Sakura decided. "Dismissed!"

Shikamaru, Shino, Kiba and Ino all groaned. Chouji was still too drunk to realize what was happening.

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru grumbled.

"It won't be so bad," Ino winked at Shikamaru, linking arms with him.

"Now that it's settled, back to business. Hinata, I don't like girls either, and I'm sorry for the inconvenience and embarrassment I caused you. Let's be friends," Sakura offered. Hinata agreed. "Neji, since we did almost get engaged and all…"

"No way! Stay away from me, crazy woman!" Neji inched away from her as if she had leprosy. A ship came into view. Everyone watched as it docked. They could see five pirates on it. The Straw Hat Crew were battered and soaked to the bone, but their captain was as upbeat as ever.

"Hey, everyone! Hi, Hinata!" Luffy greeted them.

"I knew we were going the wrong way! We came back to Konoha!" Nami snapped, jumping off the ship.

"As long as we're here, we could use some new crewmates. Does anyone want to come?" asked Sanji.

"Where are you going?" asked Neji.

"The Grand Line," announced Usopp.

"Where is it?" asked Tenten.

"Far away from here," answered Zolo. "It's filled with dangerous creatures and murderous pirates."

"Take me with you!" Neji jumped onto the ship. "Come on, Tenten! Let's get as far away from this place as we can!"

"One second. We have to get supplies," Tenten and Nami quickly swiped everyone's wallets and jumped on board.

"Okay! Good-bye, everyone!" Luffy waved at everyone and the ship set sail.

"Bye Hinata! I'll send you postcards!" Neji waved.

"Whatever," Sakura shrugged as she watched the ship disappear from sight. "Lee, thank you for complimenting me on my pretty green eyes. Let's have dinner tonight. As long as you change."

"Hai, Sakura-sama!" Lee saluted her, and ran off to change.

"Come on, Hinata. Let's go home," Naruto offered Hinata his arm, and they walked off, a beautiful beach sunset illuminated in the background.

THE END

It's done! I hope it was long enough! And so, the story ends with NaruHina and NejiTen: the most common pairings ever. Also some hints of ShikaIno and SakuLee, which are… rather common, too. I hope you enjoyed this story! It's been fun writing it! Thank you for reading! Bye'cha!