Stephanie used to have a crush on Chris. It was impossible not to. It had been right after they had become friends. She had never had anyone who could actually relate to her, who understood her, who actually liked her the way she was. It was rare to find that, and she was fortunate.

She hadn't expected him to even want to be her friend. She had been truly contrite after spilling hot liquid on him, and apologized profusely for weeks. She had expected him to get mad and tell her to leave him the hell alone, but he never did. He simply embraced her into his life.

How could she not fall for that? He was just too perfect. Over time though, they fell into a comfortable relationship and that crush had faded over time. Now she was with Randy and she was happy with him, and he wanted to potentially ruin that by telling her parents.

"Maybe I can throw myself down a flight of stairs and get amnesia and then I won't remember them as my parents and then Randy won't have to meet them."

"We don't live in a 1940's B-movie Stephers."

"Well, how about we build a time machine and go back and I just won't go out with Randy."

"Can we go back to my freshmen year of high school, there's an embarrassing moment I'd really like to erase?"

"Yeah we can do that. So about the machine, how are we going to get past this pesky time/space continuum thing?"

"I think we can buy a thing at Home Depot that would take care of that," Chris said, munching on some chips as Stephanie swept up some crumbs off of his shirt.

"Good, because we're going to need it. I don't know if Randy has a death wish or something, I mean, if he wanted to commit suicide, there are easier ways. Talking to my parents about anything is like, well it's like you walk around in a circle for a really long time and then you just find that you've been walking in circles and that's it. My life has been one big circle of walking."

"Aren't you dizzy?"

Stephanie took a deep breath, "Randy is upstairs showering and he thinks this is a great idea, how do I get out of this, I need to get out of this!"

"Maybe that whole throwing yourself down the stairs thing isn't so bad an idea," Chris said.

"I told you!"

"Stephers, you just have to get this over with. Sooner or later they were going to find out. It's like when you use someone's toothbrush, they will find out."

"I used it once, and you said I could!"

"Yeah, but you didn't have to drop it on the ground now did you?"

"You're trying to lighten the mood, and it's not going to work you know. Snooks, I'm three seconds away from becoming the first ever victim of spontaneous human combustion. And then you'll get burned off my flying body parts and won't be able to make the funeral, and my brother will speak at it, and then he'll say something like I was a horrible sister, and then no one will cry and I'll have to come back and haunt everyone, and I don't want to haunt anyone, it's too time-consuming."

"I'll just douse you with the fire extinguisher if you should happen to suddenly burst into flames," Chris shrugged, "That way, I can play the hero, and you won't have to haunt anyone ever."

"Well thanks," she said sarcastically, "I wouldn't want to have to go through all the trouble of buying chains and a white sheet."

"You could just steal them, what with the being a ghost and everything."

"Oh yeah, that whole getting to walk through walls thing, that would be cool actually...I could spy on you in the shower."

"Don't creep me out Stephers."

"I have to call my parents. I don't think I know their phone number. I've never wanted to willingly call them. The connection between their house and mine is dead. It died a slow, cruel death one chilly winter's night. It tried to navigate itself through a dark wood and unfortunately lost its bitter fight with the forces of nature."

"Oh, I picked it up off the side of the road and brought it to my house and gave it some warm clothes and some soup." Chris took a piece of paper from his pocket and crumpled it up before throwing it at Stephanie's head. She wasn't expecting it and it hit her in the temple.

"Snooks! That could've poked me in the eye, and I could've gotten a paper- cut on my eye and you could've been the cause for me going blind. And then I'd have an eye patch, and a glass eye and what if it fell out and rolled across the floor!"

"Could I call you Captain Stephers, and buy you a parrot and a pirate's hat?"

"Only if I get a hook," she said as she unwrapped the paper he had thrown at her. "My parent's phone number. Whose side are you on Snooks?"

"I'm on the side of common sense. And common sense tells me that you should just face your parents and get this over with before you lose the Dreamboat because you won't face your parents at all. Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he won't be too pleased that you won't tell your parents. This is a hard-based assumption that I came to after receiving the raw data from the scientists at NASA. I had them run it through the computer."

"Oh, you should've just run it through Shane, you would've gotten the same affect."

"Good idea, I'll use that next time."

"Ok, I'm going to steel my nerves and call my parents."

"What if nerves were made of steel, I'd imagine that you would lose a lot of mobility, what with being stiff and all."

"You could be like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz," Stephanie pointed out, "Wear a little tin hat and do a nice soft-shoe number."

"I wouldn't want to be the Tin Man, he was like stuck in the same position for days, and I could never do that."

"Oh yeah, because you're going to just freeze up one day and stick that way."

"Did your mother never tell you that it could freeze that way if you do it too much."

"Do what too much? Have sex? Well, I'd imagine it'd be a pretty awkward, and then having to explain it to the doctor's who try to separate you, that'd be a chore, not to mention, how the hell would you even get to a hospital? Well, I guess there are certain positions where you could drive," she mused.

"Stalling never became anyone."

"Yeah, stalling when you're stuck in a sexual position would have to be the worst, how would you even get out of the car?"

Chris grabbed the phone out of Stephanie's hand, then grabbed the paper as well. He avoided her trying to grab for the phone by putting his hand on her forehead. She growled at him and he just laughed and mouthed, "it's ringing," to her. Stephanie started to go into panic attack mode and actually threw herself onto Chris, landing square on top of his body as the phone was picked up.

"Hello?"

"Linda I presume."

"Who is this?"

"It's Chris, Chris Jericho."

"Oh," Linda said, her tone turning colder, "Stephanie isn't here."

"Oh Linda, of course she's not there. Stephanie is never there, she's actually here with me. She's very close to me right now, you can say she's bearing down on me."

Stephanie pushed herself off of Chris's chest, "I hate you."

"Chris, what do you need? Is this important or are you simply calling to waste my time?"

"Linda, I would never waste your time. If I talk to you, it is always of the utmost importance. Why, if I were calling for the sake of calling, I would engage you in the most sophisticated conversation of your life until you were filled with a sparkling laughter. But that's not this day, this day, Stephanie, your wonderful, beautiful daughter, has a matter that just cannot wait another second to be discussed with you."

Stephanie glowered as Chris shoved the phone in her direction. She tried to wave her hands, signaling that she didn't want to talk to her mother after all. Chris just shoved the phone more forcefully at her. She jumped off the couch and started running for the kitchen. Chris followed and managed to catch up to her quickly, grabbing her with one arm and putting the phone up to her ear with the other.

"Hi Mom," she said dully, wishing she could turn around to give Chris the dirtiest look possible.

"Stephanie, what is this about? Your crackpot friend calls, spouting off nonsense, and now you're talking, and I would like to know what about?"

"Look Mom, I didn't want to call you and talk to you any more than you wanted to talk to me!"

"Then why did you call?"

"I have a boyfriend, and he wants to tell you about us, and I don't, but you know what, what I want right now doesn't really matter so you can go along with this or I can hang up."

"Come over for dinner tonight, we want to meet this boy," Linda said, her voice deadly serious.

Stephanie closed her eyes, she knew this was coming, "Mom, dinner?"

"Yes Stephanie, I think that we deserve to meet this boy of yours, and as such, we would like him to come to dinner. Be here at 6:30 sharp for cocktails, dinner at 7:00. Will Chris be coming as well?"

"Hold on," Stephanie said, then turned to Chris, who had since let her go. She put her hand over the mouthpiece. "Snooks, will you please come tonight? Please?"

"Oh no," Chris said, shaking his head resolutely, "I've been there for dinner, I know that place. Your parents will eat me alive like they did last time. Your mother still hates me for spilling that one drop of salad dressing on the tablecloth. She probably wants to hang me with that tablecloth if she could get away with it."

"Snooks, oh please, I can't do this alone."

"You'll have the Dreamboat there, and you'll be fine, I promise, and you know that I never go back on a promise, except if the promise is a ridiculous one that can't possibly be fulfilled."

"So that promise you made about getting me a unicorn, that one isn't going to come true?"

"No, I'm sorry Stephers, I just can't do it. Unless you want me to craft a horn of ivory or something and then paste it onto a horse. I could do that, but you know, hunting for ivory is illegal, and the last thing I need is to get caught hunting for elephants. Do you know how many shots you have to get to go to Africa, far too many for my liking."

"You could just get a paper towel roll and paint it white."

"You're so smart," he said, hugging her, "But your mom is still on the phone."

"Damn it," Stephanie said, "I was hoping this was a nightmare and that I would look down and the phone would be replaced by something infinitely better than my mother, a poisonous snake perhaps."

"Talk."

Stephanie brought the phone back up to her ear and sighed, "No Mother, he will not be joining us this evening, so go ahead and uncork that bottle of champagne and celebrate now."

"That's all I needed to know Stephanie, I'll see you at 6:30 sharp."

"Yes Mother." Stephanie hung up the phone and turned to Chris with a scowl on her face. "Look what you did! Now I have to go over there!"

"What I did, if I am correct in this assumption, you're doing this to make your boyfriend happy."

"Happy with what?" Randy asked as he walked into the kitchen, his hair still wet from the shower.

"We're going to see my parents tonight at 6:30 sharp, so be ready for a flogging," Stephanie said, her tone upbeat in such a way you knew she was faking her chipper tone. "Wouldn't want to be late to the public hanging."

"Wait, we're going to tell them?"

"Yes, we're going to tell them," Stephanie said.

Randy rushed over to her and picked her up, hugging her tightly. "You are so amazing, you know that right?" Randy said, kissing her.

"And that is my cue to leave," Chris said, "Thank you folks, goodnight, try the chicken, it's lightly roasted with a garlic marsala sauce. Have a nice evening."

"Snooks, where are you going to be?"

"I'm just going to hang around here. If you need a getaway car, give me a call, I'll go to the airport and get a rental car with tinted windows. I'll make sure they can't trace it back to me either."

"Good, no money trail, you hear?"

"Of course I know."

Chris left the room and Stephanie hugged herself to Randy. She didn't want to go to her parents, but she knew that Randy really wanted to let the cat out of the bag, and she could do nothing but go along with it. It would be difficult, she knew how her parents worked, but she was going to try her damnedest not to make scene tonight.

So here she stood, looking at the ornate wooden door that stood stalwart in front of her. To her, it was like the dungeon door. She had spent eighteen years here, every one dragging out in long succession until she had left the first chance she had gotten. This door, these windows, these walls had stifled her for years, constricting her. She grabbed Randy's hand tightly.

"We can still make a break for it. I've climbed over the gate walls a million times, I actually carved notches in the wall to help me climb out. It took me a while, and I became very adept at using sculpting tools, but it really was worth it every time I didn't scrape my knee against the wall."

"Steph, it'll be fine," Randy said before reaching out to ring the doorbell.

Stephanie fidgeted nervously as one of the maids answered the door. She allowed them entrance into the main foyer and Randy looked around, impressed by it all. "This place is huge."

"Not huge enough for me to co-exist with my parents. I moved out the day after I graduated from high school. I moved in with a friend for a while."

"Oh," Randy said as they were led into a large room, decorated nicely. Linda and Vince were perched on one of the sofas, each with a drink in their hand. To say they were surprised to see Randy was an understatement. Stephanie could see them scrutinizing him even as they stood there.

"Randy, we certainly weren't expecting to see you come through this door with our daughter," Linda said.

"Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend Randy," Stephanie said without emotion, "You already know him."

"We certainly do," Vince said, "Sit."

Stephanie took Randy's hand and went to the unoccupied sofa and sat on it. Randy sat close to her and she took one of his hands into her lap. She felt the squaring off about to happen and she prepared for it as best she could. At least they didn't have the disgusted look on their face yet. As soon as Chris had walked in the door, they had that face.

"How long have you been seeing each other?" Linda fired the first question off.

"Three weeks."

"That's a good amount of time," Vince said, "And yet we have heard nothing of this relationship. Hiding it?"

"From you," Stephanie said, "Because I didn't want to have this conversation."

"What makes you think you're good enough to date a McMahon Randy?" Vince asked, turning to the man, ignoring Stephanie completely.

"Well, I really like her Vince, and she likes me too, and I think that's enough for me to want to date her."

"Oh really, you think that's it?"

"Yes, I do."

"If that is the only thing driving this relationship, you won't last," Vince said, "You need to offer her something. You can't go around dating a McMahon and not expect to be anything other than the best."

"Which is more than we can say for that best friend of yours Stephanie," Linda added.

"This is not the time to attack Chris!" Stephanie said, standing up, "What is it going to take for you to see that he is not a bad guy!"

"Steph," Randy said, standing up and trying to calm her down. "It's ok."

"No, it's not ok! You go around making fun of my best friend, someone who has been there for me, even when he didn't have to be. I don't get you sometimes. Do you live in another dimension. Are you really from the past or something that you can't see the goodness in Chris's heart for putting up with me! You two are drones!"

"Stephanie Marie McMahon, do not take that tone with us," Vince roared. "Then do not insult my friends!"

"Well when you pick friends like that, how are we supposed to just let it slide," Linda said calmly. "We have given you the best of everything, we wanted so much more for you Stephanie--"

"You wanted me to marry the first rich lawyer that you could find for me."

"Yes, one who could provide for you."

"I can provide for myself!"

"Not when you are acting like a child."

"I am not! If I were acting like a child, I would be on the ground, screaming and pounding my fists against the ground. And maybe having a lollipop in my mouth, but do you see any of those things, no! Although I would like the lollipop."

"Everything is a joke to you Stephanie," Linda said, "Nothing is serious in your world, and while that may be fine for now, nobody is going to want someone like that. If you never take anyone or anything seriously, then no one will take you seriously."

"Excuse me, but I'm going to have to step in here," Randy said, "Maybe this will get me thrown out of this house, but I'm not going to stand here and listen to you say these things. The reason I wanted to date Stephanie in the first place was because I always saw her laughing and joking, and I thought that was the most endearing thing about her. You say that no one will take her seriously. I do. I take her seriously and I love her laughter and her jokes, and quite frankly, you are wrong about her. I wanted to tell you about us, I was hoping she did too, but after seeing how you treat your own daughter, I don't think you even deserved to know."

"Watch your mouth young man, I am your boss," Vince said.

"And she's your daughter and to treat her in such a manner is a disgrace." Randy grabbed Stephanie's hand, "Let's go Stephanie, I've tired of the present company."

Stephanie took his hand silently and walked out of the house with him. She was in awe of what he had just said and she couldn't believe that he had stood up to her parents like that. She couldn't believe and it left her almost speechless.

"Randy, you are my new hero!" Stephanie yelled hugging him and letting him pick her up. She kissed him over and over again. "You were...wow!"

"I'm sorry I made you come tonight, if I had known..."

"It's ok, can we just go back to my house?"

"Of course," Randy said, never having seen Stephanie with so few words to say and nothing witty at all.

Stephanie just stared out the window of the car as they sped home. Randy grabbed her hand, and squeezed it in reassurance. She didn't squeeze back, but did offer him a tiny smile. When they got back to the house, she went upstairs and told him to wait downstairs, that she would be down in a bit, that she just needed a few minutes by herself. He sat on the couch and cursed himself for suggesting this horrible evening.

Chris had been listening to music as the door creaked open and Stephanie walked inside. Chris saw her face and immediately opened his arms to her. She crawled on the bed, not caring that her shirt was low-cut and giving Chris an eyeful. Chris didn't care about that kind of stuff anyways. She let him hug her.

"Bad?"

"Worse than bad? Imagine hell. Imagine hell for the people that run hell. That was tonight."

"Why aren't you with the Dreamboat?"

"Because you're the only one who's allowed to see me cry."

"You're not going to cry. Crying is for the weak, crying is for babies, we don't cry."

"You cried when you hurt your hand."

"Well that hurt like a bitch," Chris said, "I was allowed."

"So why aren't I allowed? Is there some kind of special code that I need to use in order to get into the crying club? I can pay for membership."

"It's a hundred dollars, but you get a cool card that states you're part of the club."

"I hate them so much."

"I know," he said, "It'll be alright Stephers, you haven't needed them before and you don't need them now."

"Yeah, you're right, after all, as long as I always have you, nothing else seems so bad."