Title: That Damned Happiness Clause (30/?)
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Setting: Somnambulist. Keep in mind that I am a strong believer in the fact that one little thing can change the course of history, hence cannon gets meddled with because life took a different path my cannon is not Joss'.
Warnings: mega angst. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The building loomed up and Angel was surprised he hadn't sensed it before. "I want you to go home." His words were soft and he didn't look at Doyle.
"What?" asked the other man slowly, "Ye think I can't handle meself?"
Sighing Angel leaned in so that his words whispered over Doyle's skin. "I know you can. On a purely intellectual level I know you're strong and fast and good. But some primal part of me can't stand you being in there. I don't know what he's capable of. If I'm busy watching you I may slip up. It's not your safety I'm worried about, it's mine. . . And I *really* don't want you to watch me kill my own blood."
Doyle studied his lover for a minute and then nodded. He looked towards the ground. He didn't want Angel to see the hurt in his face. Angel wasn't being mean, he *did* believe in Doyle. The Irishman knew he shouldn't have been hurt and should have accepted it. Angel wanted privacy to kill his own childe. And Doyle couldn't imagine the shame that the dark vampire was feeling. But he still was hurt, that Angel would block him out. It hurt that Angel didn't trust him well enough to know that Doyle would not judge. Doyle loved every part of his vampire and could never think ill of him. And if his being there jeopardized Angel's safety then he would leave without a fight. He kissed Angel quickly and looked away before the vamp could examine him. "Call me when yer through." He heard Angel's uncomfortable sigh and with a slight smirk handed the vamp his own cell phone, "Someday ye'll learn to carry yours. I'll be at home."
"Doyle?" Angel called after the man walked away, "Thanks."
They both pretended that Angel was thanking him for the phone, "Don't mention it."
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Xander woke to find himself cold. He was wrapped up in bed but something was missing. . . where was his blond? The feeling of being stared at was what alerted him to Spike's position. Turning he saw his lover sitting on the bed scrunched in on himself with his back against the wall. Xander wasn't positive but he could have sworn that when he'd fallen asleep he had been draped in vampire. "What cha doin'?"
"Watching over you, pet, go back to sleep." Came the stilted reply. Spike's hand was shaking as he brought the lit fag to his mouth.
"Can't sleep without you close." Mumbled Xander as he stretched against the pillows.
"No," replied Spike to the obvious yet unasked question.
"No?" Xander's eyes narrowed.
"Protecting you."
Sudden understanding hit Xander in a wave, "You didn't hit me."
"I very nearly did. I nearly hit my *pregnant* lover. And fuck pregnant, forget that. I nearly hit my Xanpet."
"But you didn't. You stopped yourself. You lost your temper."
"I know someone else who loses their temper and starts hitting people and it's not Angelus." Spike's tone was quiet as though he had recently been crying.
"Don't. You. Dare. Bring. Up. My. Father. In. Bed," said the boy looking away for the first time. Instantly contrite Spike wrapped around his boy. "You're nothing like him."
"I'm sorry, shhh." Spike ran his hands over Xander's back in small circles.
"No, I'm not shushing." Xander shook his head as Spike buried his face in his human's shoulder. "You believe that don't you? You honestly think you're like him? You *nearly* hit me. And, before you bring it up, when you knocked me out with the microscope I was busy being good and you were being evil so we were just playing our parts. Nearly, *nearly* hit me. You didn't, you stopped yourself. He mad my life bloody misery everyday for at least 17 out of my 19 years living under his regime. You reacted to anger the correct way for a vampire, violence is the rudder that keeps you on course. Moreover, you curbed your instinct the minute you caught yourself. You spanked the goddamned inner moppet and moved on. He was my father. That means he's meant to protect me and love me. While you acted out of rash anger he planned shit out. He did it because he could. I'm your lover whereas I wasn't human to him just a marketable resource that was his to exploit. You're lying here feeling sick as a pig 'cause ya nearly hit me and he never once even considered what he was doing to be wrong. You love me and he never did!
"You're nothing like him. If he's what you're basing this whole midlife crisis, "Am I evil?" question off of then the answer is no. If he's what's evil then you've got a first class ticket to heaven. Do you honestly think I would tie myself to a wicked and abusive man? And quite frankly I find it offensive that you would compare what you did to his actions. It almost invalidates my life thus far if you think what you do is the definitive moment of my pain."
Spike knew batter than to apologize. If he apologized Xander would start feeling guilty for laying into him. So instead he kissed a path to Xander's mouth. Gently he searched for asylum in Xander's mouth. He felt the body beneath his relax, "Can I ask you a favor?" Xander nodded and his eyes were clear of any and all traces of anger. "Make love to me?" he saw something flash over the dark god's features, "Or fuck me through the floor. Doesn't matter just remind me where I belong, who I belong to."
Studying the man Xander wondered whether it was worth reprimanding his husband. The night was pretty much shot anyway and this wasn't the time to pull his punches. His tone was light, he wasn't mad and he stroked Spike's face as he spoke, "Don't beg."
"I thought you liked it when I beg?" asked Spike with a ghost of a leer.
"There is a big difference between, "Oh god! Pet, just there. Please! Xander, I'll die if you don't! Oh God!" and what you just did." His voice had been a scarily accurate replication of his lover's. "The first is raw need and what you just did wasn't. Do you honestly think I can deny you of what is yours to begin with? Because that's what it sounded like, as if you expect me to rip you apart. I can't deny you anything." Spike smiled at his words and his look made the boy beam in reply.
As Xander kissed a path across his shoulder Spike's mind was going a mile a minute. It was all too intense. He was ready to burst then and there. Intensity was rarely a good thing where his boy was concerned. If Xander's mind were left to its own devices then the boy would dwell and feel guilty in the morning. And so the vamp pulled out the big guns. Panting slightly already the man said, "Xan? I love you like a fat kid loves cake." His looked at him for a minute and then burst out laughing. Smiling Spike knew that everything was safe again.
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This was hell; he was being punished. He was fighting his own sweet childe while the she cop watched and judged. Privacy! He had wanted to kill his son without half the fucking world watching him. He had failed, he had a monster and he still loved the boy. He had to kill him. There was no choice. Penn would never change and he needed to make some sort of amends to William. But he couldn't help but still love the boy he was now pummeling. "Go, Kate! Get out of here! Kate, go!" he screamed at the idiot lying in the corner. He didn't want a witness to what was essentially him cleaning up his own mess.
"You know its name? Angelus, what happened to you?" Penn looked hurt. His god had fallen.
"People change." His voice was low as he held back the violent sobs that were desperate to escape his body.
"We're not people!" Penn shouted, "It's not that is it? I smell him all over you, Gelus."
Lockley was watching in silent, horrified fascination as Angel spoke in full vamp mode. "It's not what you think."
"You're keeping him as a pet? Please tell me you aren't sleeping with him?!"
"I'm not," Angel assured him and looked at his own feet as he pinned the boy down to the floor. "He needed help, I'm his sire, I helped him."
"You aren't his sire! He isn't your childe! I am!" Penn was screaming as he realized what was about to happen. As much as he struggled he couldn't get free. His voice dropped as he pleaded, "Gelus, I'm your childe."
"And I'll always be proud of you," Angel comforted him, "I just can't let you go on."
"Please!" begged Penn as a tear fell down his face.
"You haven't failed me, childe. I failed you, and I'm sorry." He kissed Penn's forehead and put the stake through his heart at the same time. Standing he watched the breeze play with the ashes. Glancing over at Kate he said, "You should have left." He turned an exited the building via a sixth story window.
Find the rest here:
Feedback!!!
Setting: Somnambulist. Keep in mind that I am a strong believer in the fact that one little thing can change the course of history, hence cannon gets meddled with because life took a different path my cannon is not Joss'.
Warnings: mega angst. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The building loomed up and Angel was surprised he hadn't sensed it before. "I want you to go home." His words were soft and he didn't look at Doyle.
"What?" asked the other man slowly, "Ye think I can't handle meself?"
Sighing Angel leaned in so that his words whispered over Doyle's skin. "I know you can. On a purely intellectual level I know you're strong and fast and good. But some primal part of me can't stand you being in there. I don't know what he's capable of. If I'm busy watching you I may slip up. It's not your safety I'm worried about, it's mine. . . And I *really* don't want you to watch me kill my own blood."
Doyle studied his lover for a minute and then nodded. He looked towards the ground. He didn't want Angel to see the hurt in his face. Angel wasn't being mean, he *did* believe in Doyle. The Irishman knew he shouldn't have been hurt and should have accepted it. Angel wanted privacy to kill his own childe. And Doyle couldn't imagine the shame that the dark vampire was feeling. But he still was hurt, that Angel would block him out. It hurt that Angel didn't trust him well enough to know that Doyle would not judge. Doyle loved every part of his vampire and could never think ill of him. And if his being there jeopardized Angel's safety then he would leave without a fight. He kissed Angel quickly and looked away before the vamp could examine him. "Call me when yer through." He heard Angel's uncomfortable sigh and with a slight smirk handed the vamp his own cell phone, "Someday ye'll learn to carry yours. I'll be at home."
"Doyle?" Angel called after the man walked away, "Thanks."
They both pretended that Angel was thanking him for the phone, "Don't mention it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xander woke to find himself cold. He was wrapped up in bed but something was missing. . . where was his blond? The feeling of being stared at was what alerted him to Spike's position. Turning he saw his lover sitting on the bed scrunched in on himself with his back against the wall. Xander wasn't positive but he could have sworn that when he'd fallen asleep he had been draped in vampire. "What cha doin'?"
"Watching over you, pet, go back to sleep." Came the stilted reply. Spike's hand was shaking as he brought the lit fag to his mouth.
"Can't sleep without you close." Mumbled Xander as he stretched against the pillows.
"No," replied Spike to the obvious yet unasked question.
"No?" Xander's eyes narrowed.
"Protecting you."
Sudden understanding hit Xander in a wave, "You didn't hit me."
"I very nearly did. I nearly hit my *pregnant* lover. And fuck pregnant, forget that. I nearly hit my Xanpet."
"But you didn't. You stopped yourself. You lost your temper."
"I know someone else who loses their temper and starts hitting people and it's not Angelus." Spike's tone was quiet as though he had recently been crying.
"Don't. You. Dare. Bring. Up. My. Father. In. Bed," said the boy looking away for the first time. Instantly contrite Spike wrapped around his boy. "You're nothing like him."
"I'm sorry, shhh." Spike ran his hands over Xander's back in small circles.
"No, I'm not shushing." Xander shook his head as Spike buried his face in his human's shoulder. "You believe that don't you? You honestly think you're like him? You *nearly* hit me. And, before you bring it up, when you knocked me out with the microscope I was busy being good and you were being evil so we were just playing our parts. Nearly, *nearly* hit me. You didn't, you stopped yourself. He mad my life bloody misery everyday for at least 17 out of my 19 years living under his regime. You reacted to anger the correct way for a vampire, violence is the rudder that keeps you on course. Moreover, you curbed your instinct the minute you caught yourself. You spanked the goddamned inner moppet and moved on. He was my father. That means he's meant to protect me and love me. While you acted out of rash anger he planned shit out. He did it because he could. I'm your lover whereas I wasn't human to him just a marketable resource that was his to exploit. You're lying here feeling sick as a pig 'cause ya nearly hit me and he never once even considered what he was doing to be wrong. You love me and he never did!
"You're nothing like him. If he's what you're basing this whole midlife crisis, "Am I evil?" question off of then the answer is no. If he's what's evil then you've got a first class ticket to heaven. Do you honestly think I would tie myself to a wicked and abusive man? And quite frankly I find it offensive that you would compare what you did to his actions. It almost invalidates my life thus far if you think what you do is the definitive moment of my pain."
Spike knew batter than to apologize. If he apologized Xander would start feeling guilty for laying into him. So instead he kissed a path to Xander's mouth. Gently he searched for asylum in Xander's mouth. He felt the body beneath his relax, "Can I ask you a favor?" Xander nodded and his eyes were clear of any and all traces of anger. "Make love to me?" he saw something flash over the dark god's features, "Or fuck me through the floor. Doesn't matter just remind me where I belong, who I belong to."
Studying the man Xander wondered whether it was worth reprimanding his husband. The night was pretty much shot anyway and this wasn't the time to pull his punches. His tone was light, he wasn't mad and he stroked Spike's face as he spoke, "Don't beg."
"I thought you liked it when I beg?" asked Spike with a ghost of a leer.
"There is a big difference between, "Oh god! Pet, just there. Please! Xander, I'll die if you don't! Oh God!" and what you just did." His voice had been a scarily accurate replication of his lover's. "The first is raw need and what you just did wasn't. Do you honestly think I can deny you of what is yours to begin with? Because that's what it sounded like, as if you expect me to rip you apart. I can't deny you anything." Spike smiled at his words and his look made the boy beam in reply.
As Xander kissed a path across his shoulder Spike's mind was going a mile a minute. It was all too intense. He was ready to burst then and there. Intensity was rarely a good thing where his boy was concerned. If Xander's mind were left to its own devices then the boy would dwell and feel guilty in the morning. And so the vamp pulled out the big guns. Panting slightly already the man said, "Xan? I love you like a fat kid loves cake." His looked at him for a minute and then burst out laughing. Smiling Spike knew that everything was safe again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was hell; he was being punished. He was fighting his own sweet childe while the she cop watched and judged. Privacy! He had wanted to kill his son without half the fucking world watching him. He had failed, he had a monster and he still loved the boy. He had to kill him. There was no choice. Penn would never change and he needed to make some sort of amends to William. But he couldn't help but still love the boy he was now pummeling. "Go, Kate! Get out of here! Kate, go!" he screamed at the idiot lying in the corner. He didn't want a witness to what was essentially him cleaning up his own mess.
"You know its name? Angelus, what happened to you?" Penn looked hurt. His god had fallen.
"People change." His voice was low as he held back the violent sobs that were desperate to escape his body.
"We're not people!" Penn shouted, "It's not that is it? I smell him all over you, Gelus."
Lockley was watching in silent, horrified fascination as Angel spoke in full vamp mode. "It's not what you think."
"You're keeping him as a pet? Please tell me you aren't sleeping with him?!"
"I'm not," Angel assured him and looked at his own feet as he pinned the boy down to the floor. "He needed help, I'm his sire, I helped him."
"You aren't his sire! He isn't your childe! I am!" Penn was screaming as he realized what was about to happen. As much as he struggled he couldn't get free. His voice dropped as he pleaded, "Gelus, I'm your childe."
"And I'll always be proud of you," Angel comforted him, "I just can't let you go on."
"Please!" begged Penn as a tear fell down his face.
"You haven't failed me, childe. I failed you, and I'm sorry." He kissed Penn's forehead and put the stake through his heart at the same time. Standing he watched the breeze play with the ashes. Glancing over at Kate he said, "You should have left." He turned an exited the building via a sixth story window.