Toyls was on sonnet 72 when the train finally came to a stop at the station. He had been reading the sonnets in both Lithuanian and English so Feliks could understand. Needless to say, Feliks became hooked on Toyls' every word and watched him in awe as he recited. He hadn't seen Toyls so full of passion since their days on their battlefield. And he was happy to know it was still in there.
"Ah. We finally got to Przemyśl Główny. That's good to see." Toyls stood up and stretched his back, feeling several bones crack in relief. "I'm really tired now. Good thing we just have to grab a quick cab to the hotel before we can go to sleep."
"Yeah, that'll be great. When we get back onto the train, you'll totally have to finish those sonnets! I absolutely loved hearing you speak so passionately, it felt like you were speaking directly into my soul."
"They have that effect sometimes. But I'm glad that you resonate with them."
Feliks smiled and nodded. "Well, I can totally see why you liked these things so much to write them all out by hand in Lithuanian. They must resonate with you too, right?"
"They do, very much so."
Toyls put the book back into his bag and hauled it onto his shoulders. Feliks opened the door of their compartment and filed out along with a couple other people who were on the train. Feliks stayed close to Toyls as he pulled his phone out to look at the time. It was nearly eight at night and they were both still dead tired. Toyls flagged down a cab for them to take to the hotel, telling the driver the location. Feliks translated it better and soon the cab was off. They resumed talking in English.
"I can't wait to fall asleep; it'll be like the greatest feeling in the world."
"Maybe a bit of an over exaggeration, Feliks. But it'll be so nice to also take a hot shower too. I think I'll take one before I fall asleep to ease my old bones."
"Hey! I'm older than you and I am not old. Got it?" Feliks teased with a smile.
"Right, right," Toyls said with a small smile. "But still. A shower sounds great after being on a bus for so long."
"Yeah, and I'll take one in the morning." He paused for a moment and looked down at his hands on his lap. "Actually, I'll take one when I get home. All my products are there anyways, and I wouldn't want to use anything else."
Lithuania nodded some. "No worries. Plus, we have to get up really early to make the train."
He pulled out his wallet and pulled out the other piece of paper with their second set of tickets. "The train leaves around five in the morning and we probably need to wake up an hour earlier than that."
"Kay. Then yeah, I'll wait to take my shower." Feliks nodded in his decision. "So, do you want to sleep in the same bed or separate beds?"
The cab driver let out a slight choking cough, like he swallowed too hard or fast. Toyls blushed some, thinking the driver might have known English and was listening to them. Good thing they were using their human names and not any nicknames.
"Separate, if they're available. You're kind of a blanket hog." Toyls giggled softly, thinking about the times they used to share a bed in their marriage. He always ended up without blankets in the morning, he learned quickly during the winter they needed two sets of blankets.
Poland nodded. "Sounds good then."
They stayed in comfortable silence for the rest of the ten-minute ride. Once the cab stopped, Feliks paid for the cab with a few bills, giving the driver a nice tip.
"Thanks," the driver said in English, confirming Toyls' earlier worries.
Feliks grabbed Toyls' hand, breaking the brunet out of his thoughts. He followed Feliks inside the hotel and looked around. Not too many people were around, but the interior was nice.
"Okay, so I don't know if they speak English here, so you may have to talk to the receptionist in Polish. I hope that's okay."
"It like, should be. It'll be easier to talk in Polish than anything else. It is my mother tongue, after all," he said with a small chuckle.
They walked up to the receptionist and he looked up and them and immediately looked to Poland's level. She smiled and greeted them in Polish.
Feliks put his brave face on and smiled confidently. "Hello. I'd like to book a room for the night," he said in Polish.
The two talked over the room and Feliks soon pulled out his wallet to pay for their room.
Toyls just listened to see if he could pick up on any of the words exchanged. He could remember some words, more common words, but most of them sounded foreign. He knew his Polish was rusty, but not this badly. Lithuania jolted when Feliks grabbed his hand.
"Got a room with twin beds in 'em. We're on the fifth floor. Let's go~"
Poland dragged Toyls towards the elevators and called one down. He squeezed the brunet's hand tight as they walked into the elevator. Once the doors closed, Feliks hugged Lithuania tight and buried his face in the other's chest.
"Oh my god that was like, so terrifying. Even if it was a simple exchange!"
Toyls just giggled and rubbed Feliks' back until they got to their floor. As they stepped out, Lithuania grabbed the keycard packer and looked at their room number and then to the posted sign pointing to the direction of the rooms.
"Looks like we're this way," he said as he began veering towards their right.
Feliks followed the brunet and slinked into the room when Toyls opened the door. He immediately claimed the closest bed to the door and plopped down face first and groaned.
"Oh my god this is heaven!" he said in pure bliss. "Seriously, this is like, super soft and comfy!" He sat ack up and watched Toyls as he claimed the other bed by setting his back down.
"I don't doubt that," he said with a smile as he unpacked his bag. He pulled out his book, a sweater, some pants, change of underwear, and a grocery bag. He plugged a charger into the wall and offered Feliks the first use. "I'm going to take my shower now. Have fun on your phone or watch some TV."
Feliks nodded. "Kay. Enjoy!"
Toyls gathered his clothes and went into the bathroom. He started up the shower and took a long thirty-minute shower, mostly just standing under the hot steam of water. Once he was done, he dried off and dressed in his clothes for tomorrow.
Meanwhile, Feliks turned on some music from his phone and relaxed in the bed. But about ten minutes into Toyls' shower, he got curious and picked up the handwritten poetry book to skim through the words. The language looked like his, using accents and the likes. He knew how he'd try to pronounce it in Polish, but he didn't understand what it meant. He wondered if Toyls felt this confused when he talked in Polish.
Toyls came out in a light blue sweater with cream colored slacks. He had a towel over his damp hair and caught Feliks looking over his book. He smiled. "Trying to read my writing?"
"Oh! Oh, sweet Christ, Toyls. You scared me half to death!" Feliks took a deep breath and looked from the book to Toyls. "Your handwriting is immaculate, but I was just trying to look at how your language is written. It uses a lot of the same characters as mine, huh?"
"Yes, it's a thirty-two-character letter system."
"Mine's thirty-one. Which one is missing from mine then?"
"I'm not entirely sure. But I know some characters are different completely."
Feliks looked over the near handwriting and pointed out some characters he didn't have. "Like, this one isn't in mine, instead it has a different accent. And I don't recognize this one at all."
"Well, we can go over our alphabets later. I think it's time for sleep, don't you think?"
"Right, totally!" Feliks bounced off his bed and pulled the covers off. He also pulled his shirt off to sleep more comfortably and shyly looked over to Toyls to see if he would remove his sweater to sleep or not. When Toyls got into bed, facing away from Feliks, he piped up. "You're not going to take that sweater off to sleep?"
"Hmm? Oh, ne. I'll be fine sleeping with it on." He turned to set his alarm on his phone for four in the morning.
Feliks frowned as he climbed into bed after turning the lights off. "If you're sure, okay."
The blond pulled the blanket up to his chin and watched Toyls' back. He could see the network of scars in his mind's eye. He wanted to let Toyls know it was okay to show them, to not hide his secret. But they were far from that point in their new relationship. Just the same as he couldn't share what he had on his right forearm.
The two fell asleep in silence and woke up to the sound of Toyls' alarm. The brunet rolled over and hit the snooze button out of instinct and sat up, stretching. He groaned softly and looked over to the other bed to see Feliks curled up in the covers. He shook his head some and stood up, shaking Poland gently.
"Po, time to get up," he said softly.
Feliks groaned and buried his head in his pillow. "No, five more minutes," he mumbled in Polish.
Well, Toyls understood the word five and he could put the rest together. He pulled his charger from Feliks' phone and plugged his in for a bit while he got his toothbrush and toothpaste from his bag and brushed his teeth, used the bathroom, washed his hands, and ran his fingers through his hair and tied it back. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed softly, thinking he looked presentable enough.
After that, he tried waking Feliks up again. "Feliks, it's time to wake up. We don't want to miss our train."
Felons groaned and opened his eyes to see the brunet standing over him. "Toyls. I thought everything had been a dream. I'm so glad it wasn't." He wrapped his arms around Toyls' neck and nuzzled him. "'m glad to see you."
"I'm glad too, Feliks. Now, get up. The bathroom's all yours. We have about another ten minutes before we have to absolutely go. I suppose we'll have to walk if we can't get a cab."
"Right, right. Got it." He got up and went inside the bathroom, closing the door. After eight minutes, he came back out and cracked his knuckles. "Okay! All ready to—"
He stopped when he saw Toyls holding out a light pink sweater for Feliks. "I figured you'd like a change of tops, at least. And it might be a little bit big, I couldn't remember your exact size."
"Wha? You like, brought this all the way here for me? Aww. Thanks, Liet!" Feliks hugged the brunet and kissed him softly on the lips, causing the other to blush at the intimate action.
"Y-you're welcome, Feliks." He pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, touching his lips softly as they tingled.
Feliks also blushed and began spouting apologizes immediately until Toyls got him to calm down with a pat on the shoulder.
"I know, Feliks. You were just excited and forgot. It happens, just try to remember in the future, yeah?" Truth be told, the kiss was nice, if not very effective at creating conflicting emotions between his heart and mind.
"Right, right, sorry." He took the sweater and examined it. Not anything too fancy, but it looked well made and not a cheap product. It also looked a lot like the one Toyls was wearing, making the teen extremely happy to know Lithuania probably bought them at the same time, knowing he would give it over to Feliks. "Thanks, Liet!"
Poland quickly shimmied into the sweater and looked at himself in the mirror in the entryway, turning on the entryway light as well. He smiled at his cute he looked, the shade of pink was great, it was just a size too big, but it made it cozier that way. Plus, Toyls bought it just for him and that was the best thing ever in his opinion.
"Okay, so I've repacked everything, grabbing your other sweater as well. I grabbed the charger, I have my phone, here's your phone—" Toyls handed Poland his fully charged cell phone. "—I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste from the bathroom. I think we're all set to go, Feliks."
The blond giggled at Toyls' efficiency and grabbed his hand. "Okay, but first we should take a selfie to commemorate our rekindled relationship! Plus, we both look totes adorbs. Take your hair down again, I like it down the best~"
Feliks grabbed the hair tie Toyls had in his hair and pulled it out, fluffing his hair out. He pulled the brunet in front of the mirror and grinned ear to ear at seeing both their reflections in the mirror. He positioned them and had Toyls bend down a little while still looking up at the camera.
"Okay, say cheese!"
He took several quick pictures of them, trying to get some good angels and lighting. He bounced on his feet and looked through the pictures to see how they came out.
Toyls smiled and looked over Feliks' shoulder to see how the pictures turned out. He almost didn't recognize himself, looking casual as could be with his old best friend. He pulled his hair back into a ponytail again.
"Oh my god, these are perfect!" He set the best one as his Lock Screen wallpaper. "Okay, now we can go check out n stuff~"
The Pole was the first one out the door followed closely behind by the brunet. Feliks stopped by a door that had caught his eye though and Toyls nearly bumped into him. He also glanced at the door, unable to read the sign posted.
"I'm gonna get us some waters and maybe a little something to eat. Cause after all, we gotta keep our strength up for the long ride."
Feliks entered the room and Toyls leaned against the door jam to keep the door open, so Feliks didn't have to feel claustrophobic inside such a small room. Feliks hummed to himself and pulled out his wallet to get out his crispiest bills to feed to the machines. He choose the waters and also got two snacks for them. He came out of the room smiling.
"Total score! They had sezamki!" Feliks said proudly as he held the bar up for display.
"It almost looks like…seeds?"
"Yeah, sesame seeds to be exact! These things are almost as good as paluszki, 'cept these babies have honey!"
Toyls nodded. "That sounds really good actually. Reminds me of sesame snaps, actually."
"Well, these ones are totally better cause they're made here in Poland," Feliks beamed with pride.
Lithuania just nodded. "Of course, of course." No use disagreeing with Feliks when it came to his food, he was very much the same way.
They walked to the elevator and rode it to the main floor while chit chatting about how cold it was going to be outside in the crisp October morning. Neither of them really wanted to walk the three kilometers to the station, so they decided it'd be best to take another taxi, though they weren't sure if they were still any on the road, what with it being four in the morning. Nonetheless, Feliks suggested he could ask the receptionist to call them a cab.
They walked up to the front desk, key cards in hand. Feliks talked to the new receptionist and explained that they were going to the train station to catch their connecting train and the receptionist was more than happy to get them a ride there. Service industry and the such. So once that was done, Feliks and Toyls moved away from the desk and Poland buried his face into the other's shoulder.
"I don't know how much more I can take, Toyls. Talking to all these strangers…it's going to be the death of me."
Toyls rubbed his back. "Now, now. It's good practice, plus, you did wonderful from what I heard. No stuttering or pausing, I would call it a great success."
Feliks looked up with a smile and felt the urge to kiss Toyls again, but he refrained and instead nuzzled into a broad shoulder. "Thanks."
Lithuania smiled and ran his hand though Feliks' hair, thinking to himself. Feliks enjoyed the attention and smiled, closing his eyes. Their silence ended when a man approached them and spoke.
"Feliks Łukasiewicz?" The man asked.
Feliks jumped some at hearing his name and flustered some. "Y-yeah, that's me," he said quickly in Polish.
"I'm waiting outside for you and your…friend," he replied as he looked Toyls up and down. He hummed some and then switched languages. "Lithuanian, yeah?"
Toyls was surprised by the switch. "Ah, yeah. Thank you for noticing."
"Bless you," Feliks said.
The two looked at Feliks with confused looks until Toyls began to giggle. "Oh, I get it. You thought I sneezed, Feliks."
"Well…yeah. You mean you didn't?"
"Ne, I was saying thank you, but I can see how you thought it was a sneeze by how fast I said it." Toyls looked to the driver and explained what happened, he laughed and patted Poland's shoulder.
"Oh, good one! Anyway, this way."
The driver ushered them out of the hotel and into his car. "Okay, so we're going to the station. It will be about a six-minute drive. Is the temperature okay for you guys?" He repeated in both Polish and Lithuanian to make them both feel included.
It was really comforting to Toyls, knowing he wasn't being excluded. "It feels nice, thank you for asking."
Poland had about the same response. "Totally good!"
The driver got to going and the two Nations rode in comfortable silence with each other. It was really nice actually. They got to the station in about seven minutes and they paid the driver with a nice tip for making them feel comfortable. Feliks took hold of Toyls' hand as they walked into the station, finding their train already pulled up and accepting passengers.
"Oh awesome. We can just go right in!" Feliks smiled as he and Toyls walked up to the train and gave the ticket taker their tickets.
"Have a good trip," he said with a smile.
"Thanks!" Feliks said quickly as he took their punched tickets back. He hurried onto the train and Toyls followed behind. "Alright, time to find our compartment."
Toyls nodded and looked around. He was the first to find their seats, they were in the second car in the third row. "Do you want the window seat?"
"Yeah, thank you, Toyls~" he said with a smile as he took his seat.
Toyls smiled as he grabbed his book out before setting his backpack up in the compartment above their seat. Feliks smiled wide at seeing the book again. "Might have to read a bit softer since we don't have a private compartment. I don't want to annoy anyone so early."
"Ahh, let them be annoyed. Just wait until they hear the passion in your voice for them also hang onto your every word!"
Lithuania chuckled softly at Feliks' good nature and opened the book to sonnet 73. "Tą metų laiką tu manyje matai…"
Time flew by as Toyls read, and he even attracted some children's attention who were in the same car as them. They had a little audience and soon the translated a couple of the sonnets into Polish, line by line. First in English, spoken by Toyls, followed by Poland translating into his language. The kids looked like they were having a blast and the parents looked relieved that their children were behaving for the odd couple. Feliks was amazing with the kids.
They didn't quite finish the rest, but they had a blast reading to the kids. Lithuania found Feliks' enthusiasm easy to replicate and match, especially when saying their goodbyes to everyone. A couple of the mothers came up to them, and even some older people, complimenting them for doing such a wonderful job.
Feliks blushed and thanked them for the compliments. Toyls smiled and bowed his head some to the Polish speaking folks while speaking English to those who tried. It felt nice to hear their praises. He grabbed his bag and took Feliks' hand, guiding him off the train.
"That was actually really fun," Lithuania said with a smile.
"Tak, totally! Those kids' eyes were so wide when we were talking!"
"You did an amazing job translating so fast too. It was actually pretty impressive."
The blond chuckled softly. "Yeah, I do it a lot for documents and stuff. It's super boring most of the time but doing it for actual people was so electrifying!"
Toyls nodded and smiled. "Yeah. It was really fun. Ah. So, which direction do we go to get to your place?"
Feliks thought for a moment and hummed. "Hmm. Let's see. Let's get out of the station first so I can get my bearings."
They walked through the maze-like building and found their way out of the station and breathed in fresh air and soaked in the sunlight.
"Okay, my house is gonna be like…way on the other side of the city and the best way to get there is by car. I'll get a taxi here."
"So, did you leave your car at your place?"
"Huh, oh, yeah, totally. I was in Przemyśl for some business when I got that call asking for me in Lviv. So, I was only like, less than two hours away, so I had taken two taxis over there."
"That's sounds really dedicated to coming out to meet." Toyls smiled and felt his heart flutter some. He didn't know why his heart was acting up, but he could feel it softly melting towards Feliks.
"Well, it sounded really urgent and stuff, so of course I went no matter what." Feliks nodded some and looked around for a taxi. "Hmm. C'mon, where are hiding from me?"
Feliks walked down the steps and onto the sidewalk to look closer at the cars before he managed to find one and talk to the driver. He then looked over his shoulder and waved at Toyls. "C'mon! I got one for us!"
Toyls walked over to join the blond, who was watching him carefully as to not lose track of him. Feliks opened the door for Toyls even, allowing him to get in before following right after him. The brunet shifted to the other seat and set his back on the floorboard before getting his seatbelt on. Feliks did the same and leaned in towards the driver, telling him where and how to get to his place the easiest way Feliks knew how, by driving past the presidential residence and up the road.
As Feliks talked to the driver, Toyls looked out the window and the people and cars passing by them until the car started to move. "Warsaw seems to be busier than the last time I was here."
"Well, it has been a long while, so that's not surprising! But it's just the same as always to me since I've grown used to it, y'know? You don't notice stuff like that about your cities when you're just there, in the middle of it all."
"So, you're saying your complacent?" Toyls teased some.
Feliks pouted and leaned in closer to Lithuania to whisper in case their cab driver knew English. "Nie, not complacent. I'm used to my capitol; it beats my very heart to go on."
"Your heart hasn't always been Warsaw though, right?"
"Haha, nope. Gniezno was my first ever capital followed by Kraków. But having Warsaw as my capital now is like, really nice since it's centrally located, specially compared to yours. It's almost on the boarder of her country, which is really weird actually. Why is it so close to her boarder?"
"Well, it's always been on the southeast end of my country, even when I was just first formed. But Vilnius has been my capital since the early twelfth century, so even before Belarus was a full formed country it was just always there. It's only in modern times it's been close to the boarder. Though I guess it would have made more sense for it to be on the coastline like Tallinn or Riga, or even closer to your boarder. It would have made travel for us a lot easier if that were the case."
"Yeah, but it's crazy to think your capital didn't move very much. They always change when a country expands or shrinks a lot."
"Ah…speaking of which…do you remember when we first came into existence as our countries?"
"Oh, totally! Back then I was just a gathering of Lechitic tribes who finally banned together when Mieszko I inherited the throne from his dad. Then I was the Duchy of Warsaw, but I was already Poland. But the only real name I ever liked is my own: Feliks. And at least I've managed to keep my capital for a long time, even after everything that happened and stuff. What about you?"
"Much the same, though my ancestor was Asteii, or Baltia as some knew him. He was my dad, gave me the name Toyls gave Prussia, Estonia, and Latvia theirs. In a way I was very lucky to have a parent figure, though he disappeared soon after Latvia was founded. I guess he thought we were good on our own from then on, he had his successors.
"But um, right. Soon after the tribes came the Duchy of Lithuania and I've just been Lithuania for all my life, just with different titles. My last name is more modern though, within the last hundred years only. But other than that, I've always been Toyls, Lithuania." He nodded and then looked to Feliks who was suddenly much closer, hanging onto his every word again, just a breath away. Toyls' heart began to pound. "B-but my earlier bosses always called me by my nation name, never my given name since they didn't want to get attached when the tribes all around us were always growing and falling. And I was such a weakling, I was never to their standards of what a Nation should be like."
"Well, I knew from the start that I would be ir-re-placable," he said with a winning smile and fire in his eyes. They turned soft again. "But I know what you mean. Jadwiga was the first to call me Feliks, most the others just called me Poland. But I wasn't close to most of them anyways."
"I was close to a few of mine, though most of them didn't like me. The Romanov family was a rare exception, but I considered them his boss, not mine."
Feliks whined softly at the mention of them, but he soon cleared his throat. "Y-yeah, totally. I miss Jadwiga though, and little Elizabeth too. She may not have lived long, but I loved Jadwiga's child like she was my own. I often wonder how she would have turned out if she did live, y'know? She was both of ours…our princess."
Toyls teared up at the mention of Jadwiga and Jogaila's child. No, she wasn't alive more than a week before her untimely death. "She probably would have learned to be like both of us, I think. It would feel right, wouldn't it? We would have doted on her and spoiled her."
Feliks giggled softly and wiped a tear away as well. "I don't know how well I woulda done handling a kid that young."
"It would have been fine, after all, you would have me there with you, right?" Toyls patted Feliks' leg softly in reassurance. "You wouldn't have had to do it alone."
"Y-you would make a better dad than I could ever hope to be. All the traits I love about you make you great dad material."
Toyls laughed some. "I guess you're right in a way, but I would be so paranoid about where they were or god forbid, they actually got hurt!"
"Then you'd just need someone more laid back who could calm ya down and stuff. And newsflash, it's not Belarus," he teased some, rounding back to their original argument. "Maybe someone like Italy…"
"Feliks, you also just described yourself. You're my calming effect."
The Pole blushed some and got shy. "What…? Did I like really?"
"Yeah, besides, why would I want a baby with Italy? I hardly know him outside of conferences. It'd be more likely I'd choose you to help. But we're getting way off topic speaking about children. Though like I said earlier, you were really good with the kids on the train."
"Well, that was easy when I had your energy to go off of! You were just so passionate, and it was easy to follow. I loved seeing you so confident sounding. It was totally nice to see again."
Toyls blushed softly and offered a small smile. "It's easy to lose myself in poetry, though I think Shakespeare just naturally gets me in a different zone."
"Oh! That reminds me! You totally have to recite Romeo and Juliet for me later. I wanna know how your favorite goes." Feliks smiled and took hold of Toyls' hand.
They sat leaning against each other, each deep in their own thought. Toyls was freaking out about how easily he had been pulled in by Feliks' natural charms and didn't shrug off his closer encounters. It just all felt natural, like riding a bike, it came all flooding back to him, the familiar comfort and reassurance of having his old partner back in his life. But everything was moving so fast, he'd have to set up boundaries when they got to the house.
And Feliks was just content and happy, knowing things were going so well. He was maybe pushing his luck, but Toyls hadn't pushed him away yet, didn't reject his touches or kisses on the cheek. Just lightly scolded him for kissing their lips together, which was fair enough. But it was a far cry to where they had been, doing everything together as one, living and breathing for each other. He loved he got Toyls to agree to come to his house, though by the looks of Toyls' packed bag, he may have had a clue. Or had been hopefully, like he was now.
The cab finally came to a stop and Feliks looked out to see his home. He smiled and happily paid the driver with his debit card and left a nice tip for all his troubles and having to put up with their whispering like schoolgirls. Feliks got out of the car and hurried to the other side to let Toyls out like a total gentleman, but the brunet had beat him to it was already out of the taxi. He pouted home at being denied his moment but decided he could still have the same effect. He took Toyls' hand and lead him up to the front of the house.
"Oh, your house isn't pink this time," Toyls commented as he finally got a good kook at the house.
Feliks grinned. "Nope! Red and white this time, flag themed! Though I do paint it pink like every other time. Flag themed for my birthday though. It's coming up soon as well, in like a couple weeks even, so think about what you'd like to get me~!"
Though they both knew what he wanted. Three little words, spoken with sincerity and truth. Not yet though. Toyls couldn't imagine saying something that huge so soon.
Feliks retrieved his keys from his pocket and opened his door, holding it open for Toyls to step into first. He walked in and moved past the entryway a little before he began taking his shoes off, leaving Poland room to enter as well.
"Getting comfortable already?" Felix's teased as mimicked the action.
"Well, I am going to stay a while, so I don't want to be rude."
Poland smiled and hugged Toyls close to him. "How long do you think you can stay?"
Toyls patted Feliks' back. "I should probably only stay another couple days. I took the week off to do everything here, and it's day three right now."
"But that means you have another four days!"
"Well, if I take the bus again—"
"Take a plane, it'll be much faster, and you can spend more time with me."
"Oh. Okay, if it means that much to you for that extra day."
"Of course, that extra day matters. It's more time spent with you and going out on dates n stuff."
"Dates?" The idea made Lithuania's head spin for some reason. Like it would give their relationship something tangible to hang onto instead of just words and promises.
"Yeah, if we're like gonna be a couple and all. We need to go on dates!" Feliks declared with another infectious smile.
Toyls nodded at the thought. "Dates, huh? Did you have anywhere in particular in mind, Po?"
Poland thought for a moment and shook his head. "Nie, most of my date ideas are for abroad because you know…you were abroad. But maybe we can get some ideas from my photo albums!"
He suddenly bound for deeper into the house and towards the basement door. Toyls followed until he realized they were at a basement door; he froze in fear and slowly back away. Feliks noticed out of the corner of his eye and looked back to the brunet.
"Something wrong, Liet?"
Toyls gulped and shook his head. "N-ne, nothing. I just realized I needed to use the restroom. Please excuse me." He all but bolted back towards the front of the house. Feliks followed after him, confused.
"Bathroom's right here, Liet," he said as he passed it, meaning Toyls also passed it. He finally caught up to Toyls to see he had tears streaming down his cheeks. "Toyls?"
"I-I'm sorry. It was…it was a flashback. Of that house. Of that room. I need to get some fresh air, I'm sorry." He grabbed his backpack and Feliks was in panic mode thinking Toyls would leave just because of a basement door. But he thought about what Lithuania had said and stomped his foot in frustration.
"Dammit, Russia!" he cursed under his breath. If it wasn't for that man, he'd have his Toyls back whole and not taped together like a fragile vase.
He stepped outside to see Toyls on the steps to the house, a burning cigarette in hand. Feliks sat down next to him, seeing that Toyls was playing with a Swiss Army knife in his other hand. He leaned against Toyls.
"When'd you start smoking?"
"Hm? Bad habit I picked up when I get stressed. Better than taking a pill every time I get an anxiety attack."
That was certainly news to Poland. "Pills? What kind…?"
"They're mine, prescribed by my doctor. I also have a few others that I take daily, like my anti-depressants, nightmare suppressant, pills that help me to sleep."
Toyls looked over to Poland, expecting to see him disappointed or judgmental, but he just had a calm expression. Feliks wrapped his arms around Toyls' arm and nuzzled into his shoulder.
"If that's what it takes to make you function, then okay. I'm just glad it's nothing extreme like hurting yourself." Though he did remember the scarred wrists, just hoping they were years old instead of newer.
Lithuania became quiet. Best to let Feliks have that illusion of him for right now. He took a long drag and let the smoke out through his nose into the air above him. "You had said something about photo albums?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I have a couple of 'em with pictures of us, some of our kings, important news clippings."
Toyls raised an eyebrow. "Me and our kings? How on earth did you manage that with the n—with everything's that happened and moved around?" He gulped some, realizing he almost let that word out. It wouldn't be good for either of them to remember that.
"I mean, most of them are damaged and all, but I never said it had been easy to do. I had to bury a lot of things that I never got to get back. But I made sure to hide my real treasures where no one would find them. That's why I can still have hope and look towards making new memories. Like with you."
Feliks leaned over and kissed Toyls' cheek. "I'll go find those albums by myself. Take your pills if you need them, okay? There's a sorts of stuff to drink in the kitchen." He patted the brunet's shoulder and stood up to go hunting in his basement.
Toyls finished his cigarette and went back into the house. He set his bag down on the couch and rummaged through his belongings and pulled out his pill bottles. He sighed and gathered his required pills into his hand and popped them into his mouth, easily swallowing them dry. He put them back away just in time for Feliks to come back with the albums.
"Ta-da! Found 'em!" He plopped down onto the couch and set the three albums down on his lap. "Okay, so the first one is the oldest with little replica paintings of the kings I found and saved. I have a couple of the old coins as well, you know, like the commemorative coins that had the king's faces on 'em.
"The second one is like the middle years, from when I became a free nation n stuff, I made sure to take lots of pictures, cause I needed to have them, y'know? I needed to have them for my sake. And I have newspaper clippings, from important date like when the war ended and I also have some about your country too, like when you were free the first time. And the second time."
He sighed softly at the memory of seeing in the papers Lithuania had declared independence. He had been thrilled and wanted to visit right away, but his boss at the time wouldn't let him.
"Anyways, the last one is from modern times, me visiting different places in my country, like landmarks and some of the old castles. I have the most pictures in there, cause like, they were really happy times and I love taking pictures. We totally have to take more pictures together too!"
Toyls smiled and nodded as he took the first album on top and flipped through the pages idly. "We will, I promise." He leaned his head against Feliks' shoulder, sighing softly.
Feliks smiled and wrapped an arm around Lithuania's shoulders, hugging him tight. He also looked at the album, smiling. He pointed to pictures and have little anecdotal insights and shenanigans he got up to. Toyls also gave his insights and shared stories, though his were more subdued and and thoughtful.
They went through all the first album and moved onto the second one. Toyls just smiled and enjoyed listening to Feliks talk about each photo and where it was taken. He was quite proud of some of them, like when he was standing in a cathedral next to a memorial of Jadwiga. Toyls found that picture particular special and ran his fingers over it gently.
"It wasn't easy to keep these photos when I first got 'em. They had just been in a shoe box before I found a good enough album to put them in. But I didn't want to lose all these happy memories, especially after forgetting them all once everything was over, the war n stuff. I'm still not sure that I have every little memory, a few spots are like, kinda fuzzy here and there, but at least I have enough to remember what made me happy~"
"Well, at least you can still remember that you love me and the things that made you happy. I don't know what I'd do if I lost huge chunks like that. I know I've lost a week or day every now and then, but never larger chunks like you. So, I'm sorry you have to go through this, and alone for so long too. But at least we can make newer memories for you to rely on, right?"
The blond smiled and kissed the top of Toyls' head. "Yeah, but it's still frustrating, y'know? I dunno what memories I'm missing and whether I've got 'em all back or not. It like…pieces of a puzzle, only it's too fuzzy to tell what goes where." Poland sighed softly into Toyls' hair and hugged him closer. "But it's okay cause with you here, I can focus on the present a lot better."
With a smile, Feliks nuzzled against Toyls' shoulder; it out a small smile on the brunet's lips. It made him feel needed by another other than for what he could provide in return with his land or body.
"It's like you said, sometimes it's better to focus on the present or even the future. Especially if the past is too painful to think about. The optimist point of view, y'know?" Lithuania said casually and almost lovingly.
Feliks smiled and giggled softly at Toyls finally loosing up some. "Tak, I know. But that's like…mostly just because I wanna believe that if something as bad as what I went through actually exists, maybe something good enough also exists that can balance my out. Ever since the first partitions, I've been clinging to hope. That's all I've ever done. Now I'm just like happy to have hope with you here, with us starting over again, all new, here in my arms."
Feliks hugged Lithuania closer and nuzzled him. Toyls blushed some and moved his hand to hold Feliks', just to have. He squeezed it lightly to let Feliks know how much he appreciated his words without having to say anything. They used to be able to talk for hours with just their body language, from their looks on the battlefield to their gentler moments like this.
"It's a better way to look at life," Toyls said in a dreamlike voice, entranced by their heartfelt reminiscing. It felt…right. Just so right to be here, in Poland's house in his arms. Just like in their commonwealth days, when they were young and carefree.
The dream had to come to an end though, as they came down from their high of old memories. Feliks shuffled the books onto Toyls' lap and kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna take a shower now. My hair needs to be washed desperately after being outside for so long. You understand, right?"
"Hm? Oh, taip. I'll be fine right here, looking through the albums. It'll be fun for me to see the places you've been."
Feliks nodded and got up from the couch, walking away to his bedroom and the master bathroom. He looked into the mirror, staring deep into his own reflection. He had things to work out with himself, things Toyls didn't like about him so the brunet could learn to love him again.
He thought it was working and he was grateful for the opportunity to see Toyls again and reconcile their long-held grudges against each other. Not like Poland could stay mad at Toyls for long, he would forgive him for anything. He loved Lithuania with all his heart after all.
With that in mind, Feliks began to strip his clothes off, article by article until his skin was bare. He looked at his wrists, imagining Toyls' scarred wrist over his. His mind could only imagine what Lithuania had gone through to get those. But was it a play for being in control of his own fate or something much darker, like a way to escape Russia? Either way, he was sure it was all Russia's fault.
He remembered Toyls saying he had gaps in his memories too. Ranging from a couple days to a week or two at a time. Feliks just hoped with them reunited, Lithuania would have no reason to for doing something stupid like that ever again.
Poland stepped into the shower after he got the water to a comfortable temperature for him and immediately went for the shampoo. As he washed his hair, he thought about their situation; Toyls acted like centuries of hatred just vanished from his blood. It couldn't have been that easy, but the brunet had given pause when he confessed his love and devotion to his partner, like Lithuania hadn't thought about that possibility. And Toyls always knew what he was thinking, because as they both pointed out, they were open books to each other.
Rinsing his hair out after giving it a good massage and lather, Poland looked to his forearm where his foundation had finally rubbed away and shown itself, a series of numbers inked into his skin. His lips trembled looking at them, never able to forget what happened to him. He wasn't the same Nation Toyls thought he remembered, just like Toyls wasn't the same. He would tell Toyls one day, when they were connected once again, once Lithuania's heart was safe in his possession. Though he would wait until the end of time for him.
Snapping out of his own thoughts, Feliks conditioned and washed his body free of the blood that had dried on him with his loofah until he was clean and his hair fully moisturized. He rinsed off and turned the shower off, grabbing his fluffy towel. He wrapped it around himself and stepped out of the shower, drying his hair off with a smaller towel to go to his vanity. He began blow drying his hair, otherwise it wouldn't behave and lay flat like he wanted.
Once his hair was fully dried, he walked to his large closet and desired on an outfit. His eyes wondered over to his row of skirts but thought better of it. He didn't need Lithuania to have a heart attack or a change of heart. So he instead pulled on a white long sleeved shirt and red leggings. Heh. How patriotic of him. All he needed was the eagle crest and he'd match his house. Now clothed, he went to the living room only to find Toyls nowhere in sight.
"Liet? You still in the house?"
At least he knew Toyls was still there, finding his backpack and personal items still where he set them. He went to see if he was smoking again but didn't find him outside. Strange. He began looking in the house. He saw a light on in the guest bathroom and the sound of running water.
"Liet? You in there?" he called out.
There was a sharp gasp and Feliks could hear Toyls stumbling in the bathroom before there was a loud crash, something metal sounding scraping, and a pained cry from the Lithuanian. Feliks opened the door quickly and saw Toyls twisted up in the shower curtain, his legs also twisted over the side of the tub, the shower getting scolding hot water everywhere. Though there was a lot of steam, he could see Toyls shaking like a leaf.
"Oh my god! Liet! Oh my god, oh my god, are you okay?!" Feliks was panicking as he stepped into the bathroom and quickly shut the water off, though he got sprayed a lot. He looked at the jumbled mess in front of him and felt like crying.
"I'm fine!" Toyls said harshly. He took a shaky breath and his voice softened. "I'm fine, Feliks. Just please leave."
"Nie, not until I know you're okay. I see blood in the water and there shouldn't be!"
"I just didn't get all the blood off, that's all. I was too sore last night."
Toyls tried to get up by himself, but the curtain made it difficult for him. He twisted and tried getting the curtain off, but I'm doing so, he flashed his back to Feliks. He quickly realized what he had done and panicked even more.
"D-don't get mad! Please, Feliks, don't get mad," he begged like his life depended on it. "Remember, it was a long time ago."
Feliks paused for a moment and inhaled deeply. "Rosja," he said softly. "It's like…okay. I'm here."
He grabbed ahold of Toyls' arm and gently pulled him up so he was finally sitting up; Toyls moved his legs on his own and hugged his knees to his chest, using the curtain as a form of modesty.
"You're not disgusted by my back…? Does that mean you knew about them? The scars?"
Feliks nodded slowly. "Tak, but I found out by accident. When you came to visit briefly when you gained independence the first time, like before the whole war stuff happened, remember how you took a bath? I was just going to play a small prank on you, with my squirt gun. It was supposed to be funny, but when I opened the door, I saw them. That there was a side of you I didn't know."
Toyls looked down at the tub and sniffled. "I didn't want you to find out like this."
"It's okay—well, obviously it isn't—but I…" Feliks swallowed hard, struggling to keep his voice even. "When I saw the scars on your back, I didn't know what had happened, I had no idea he was doing such horrible things to you! A-and until I suffered enough pain on my own, I didn't know what to do and—"
Poland let out a soft sob. Tears started to drip one at a time as his breathing became ragged. "I-I'm so sorry! I didn't think it would be that—that bad. I knew Rosja was a freak, and I knew he'd be a horrible boss, but I never…never knew he would—that he could—do something like…like that!" Feliks covered his face and dropped slowly to his knees in tears. He leaned over the bathtub, using it as support. "I'm so sorry, Toyls! I didn't think…!"
Toyls stared at Feliks in shock and reached out to thread his fingers in blond hair. "Feliks. None of this was your fault. I mean, sure we were separated during the first partition, but I didn't…I didn't make my situation any better for myself. I was defiant, being insubordinate towards Rusija. He told me he had to persuade me to listen and be obedient. I didn't take it laying down, so when yelling and threatening me didn't get anywhere…
"And then, one night when he had been drinking a lot…he just came up to me and dragged me down into the dungeons of the palace. He started to hit me…with his fists at first before he moved onto objects, and before long, he started whipping me. It became a regular thing whenever I was being difficult, or he was stressed or whatever excuse he came up with that night. So, all those scars that weren't there before our partition, is his handiwork over centuries."
By the time Lithuania finished explaining, he dared to look at Feliks, his eyes brimming with tears. He had left the majority of what Russia had done to him, there was no need to bring everything up since it would have only added fuel to Feliks' anger and hatred. Feliks still cried though, and he leaned over to hug Lithuania tight, they both cried in their own ways. Feliks cried hard loudly where Toyls cried softly and almost silently. They stayed in each other's arms until something finally sank into Toyls' mind.
"W…wait. If you knew for all these years about them, why didn't you ever say anything?"
Feliks sniffled and leaned back again to look at Toyls in the eye. "I-I don't know," he replied in breathless, shaky whispers. "I didn't know what to do or what sort of other things I was overlooking or…I know Rosja was always scary looking, but I never saw anything in him I had to fear about him! I didn't like him; I certainly didn't like him having you! B-but I never thought such weird, insane rumors were actually true! You were so strong, so smart, I never thought there was something so cruel that could break you until I experienced such horrors myself. I thought confronting you would be pointless, and I was still so naïve about how cruel people were. And I'm so sorry! I'll protect you from now on, I won't let it happen again, I swear!"
Lithuania smiled weakly at Feliks' resolve, but he still felt uneasy. He sat up more and leaned over to Feliks and wiped his tears away, Feliks returned the favor. "Then…since you're not disgust or surprised by them, could you…help me clean the blood? I can't reach where it's at without it hurting," he requested humbly.
"Like, of course." Feliks got a washcloth out, keeping his back turned to Toyls as he rearranged himself to have his scars facing Feliks. He had his towel draped over his lap in place of the shower curtain, though it was wholly unnecessary in Feliks' opinion, but what ever made Toyls comfortable, he guessed.
He wet the washcloth and rung it out, turning back to see the network of scars and the blood right in the middle of Toyls shoulder blades. He gently worked to wash it off, careful not to hurt the brunet, though it couldn't be helped with how sensitive the scar tissue seemed to be. There were small hisses of air and tensing, but he managed to get everything off only to see a scar had in fact opened and had begun to close at an uneven rate. Feliks sighed softly and placed a gentle kiss on the scar, and any other large ones. That one tender gesture made Toyls shudder and made him relax finally.
"Thank you, Feliks. For everything. But while you were cleaning my back, I was thinking about what you said earlier…when you had said that you experienced things yourself. What did you mean by that? Did someone also…hurt you badly? Like Rusija?"
Feliks sighed. "Not Rosja, he…doesn't feel the same way about me as he did you. He wanted you to himself, he wanted me out of the way. That is, he didn't care if I lived or died, all he wanted was you, y'know? He did have me under his control about three times since our separation, but nie, that's not…he just wanted to make sure we stayed separated. I mean, I didn't believe such things could successfully happen without any resolve, until I was hit hard by reality. No one knew I was being punished and tortured either, but now I know, now I…I can't afford to doubt that anything is possible."
"Feliks…my god, I didn't…I'm the one who didn't know now. If I had, if you were anywhere near the palace, I could have maybe talked to him, or done something to help, exchange your torture to be inflicted on me instead, I could have helped—"
"Not if it meant taking on more pain yourself. That wouldn't have done anybody any good." Poland buried his face in Toyls shoulder, too afraid to look up. "I'm just as guilty, y'know? I taunted Rosja just as much by being difficult, he may have even taken some of his frustrations out on you too…" he trailed off.
"I'm sorry that I didn't know about your pain when you've known some degree of mine for decades."
"I'm still guilty though, I was too naïve to help you when I found out. I thought all of it was behind us since you were independent n stuff. But it didn't last, and I still couldn't do anything or even know that full extent of your pain. I should have tried to know. I should have just asked or demanded even. I would have broken the door down if you slammed it in my face, I won't hesitate anymore when it comes to you. If I wait too long, I might…lose you."
Feliks gently picked up Toyls' wrist and bent it over his shoulder so he could kiss it; Lithuania weakly tried to take his arm back, but not before Feliks kissed the scar tissue gently. Toyls stayed still after that, too stunned to move after that kind of gesture and the incredible weight he felt on his chest. He didn't think he'd put it together so fast, perhaps thinking it was from restraints from Russia instead of something he had done to himself.
"You…you don't need to worry about losing me, Feliks. I haven't done anything like that in a few years, besides, we don't have to worry about Rusija, my president knows to be weary of him, and I certainly know what he's capable of."
"I guess that's good, it's a good start, at least. Maybe now the scars can heal a bit better now, yeah? And remember to take it easy so these ones don't open back up again or I'll just have to give them more kisses, and it almost looked like they tickled."
Feliks smiled and kissed some more of the scars, making Toyls smiled warmly to himself.
"Thank you for taking good care of me." He turned around some to face Feliks before he thought about something. And he just blurted it out. "Do you have scars like mine?" Once he realized what he said, he tried to backtrack. "I-I'm sorry, it just came out, I didn't mean anything by it, and even if you did, you wouldn't have to show me or even let me know, I just…I'm sorry."
Feliks stayed quiet for a long time before he finally spoke. "I'll…show you after you get dressed. It's only fair, right? To show each other? If you're going to trust me again, I want us to be on the same page. And if I hide something that's eventually going to be out in the open, I'd rather it be now while we're in show and tell mode. So…I'll see you in little bit, kay?"
Before Toyls could say anything else, Feliks hightailed it out of the bathroom and shut the door. He leaned against it, clenching his racing heart. He was dreading this, but he had to do it anyways, for Toyls and his own sake. He was going to let someone in and talk about what happened to him during WWII.