I didn't notice when the sun went down. I was still sitting on the couch working on my protest, fighting to see in the dark. I was almost done. All I needed was a cow bell, some old televisions, and somebody to do the lights.
I set the paper aside and stretched, yawning. A quick glance down at my watch told me that it was seven o'clock.
I stood and went to my bedroom, looking for something to wear. I settled on a comfortable pair of old jeans, an white tank top, and a long sleeved black shirt.
I pulled my hair down out of the pony tail holder it was in and shook my head slowly, letting my curls bounce freely around my face.
I decided against make up. I wanted Joanne to see me for me, not the made up woman I pretended to be for the rest of the world.
She was special. I wanted her to know that
I grabbed Joanne's shirt and walked back out into the front room. With one final look around, making sure I had everything I needed, I slid I into my jacket and walked out.
It was raining when I reached the street. I pulled my jacket tighter around my body and put my head down, tucking Joanne's shirt under my own. I didn't want it to get wet.
I made my way to Joanne's apartment quickly, wanting to get out of the rain as fast as possible. Now I was glad I hadn't worn make up. It would be all over my face by now if I had.
The rain seemed to reflect my mood perfectly. The sky was dark and heavy, black clouds controlling what had once been a beautiful blue sky. Raindrops hit the pavement as though it was fighting to get to the dirt underneath.
I chuckled softly, shaking my head. Water droplets rolled down my face and into my eyes. I blinked them away as though they were my own tears.
My heard was pounding in my ears. I was nervous. I wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen when I got to her apartment, but I couldn't wait to see her again.
I felt a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth, but I forced it away. I didn't want to be happy if I was just going to go to Joanne's, give her the shirt and leave.
My hair stuck to my face. My head felt heavy.
I stopped outside Joanne's building and looked up, looking for her floor. With a deep sigh I walked into the building and headed for the elevator. The sooner I could see Joanne, the better.
Seconds passed in what felt like hours and finally I stepped out onto Joanne's floor. As I walked to her door I rang the water from my hair. My heart thudded loudly against my rib cage.
Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes and raised my hand to knock. I hesitated, biting my lip. I knocked softly, holding my breath.
Seconds later the door opened, revealing a very comfortable looking Joanne. Her eyes met mine slowly and she smiled.
Her jeans were loose on her hips and her tank top low cut. My eyes ran up and down her body slowly, taking all of her in. She was amazing.
"Come on in." She said, pulling the door open, letting me in.
I slid my sneakers off and took off my jacket, hanging it up and setting my sneakers on the floor.
"Thanks." I said, handing Joanne her shirt.
"I'm going to go get you a towel. I didn't realize it was raining that hard out." She walked off to the bathroom, leaving me to stand alone in her livingroom.
I crossed my arms over my chest and looked around, shivering.
"Here." She walked back into the livingroom and handed me a purple towel.
"Thanks." I said softly. Wrapping the towel around my head I began to dry my hair as best I could. She laughed lightly and sat on the couch.
When I felt that my hair was dry enough I walked to the bathroom to hang my towel up. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I stopped. I looked horrible.
I had lost weight over the past two weeks. I looked sick. I ran my fingers through my damp hair and pouted my lips, turning my head.
"Beautiful." I heard Joanne say from the doorway. I turned and looked at her, a slow blush creeping its way into my face.
"I'm sorry." My voice was soft, my eyes on the floor.
"Come on, we need to talk." She reached out and took my hand, pulling me out of the bathroom.
She lead me to the couch and sat down, pulling me down with her. I curled up into a tight ball on the opposite side of the couch, my head turned to look at her.
"I miss you." She met my eyes slowly, smiling at me.
"I miss you too." We sat in silence for a few more minutes, just looking at each other.
"Joanne..."
"Maureen..."
We laughed nervously and looked away.
"Go ahead." My voice was barely a whisper.
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you. I know you're having a hard time and I should have..."
"No." I couldn't let her finish.
"No, this is my fault. I told you that I wasn't ready. But I was wrong. I was scared. I'm used to being in control and you took all of my control. I get scared easily when it comes to relationships. You're completely different from anyone else I've ever been with. You're logical and smart and beautiful and soft and always in complete control of everything you do."
I was relaxed now, sitting with my back against the arm of the couch, facing Joanne. She did the same. I expected her to interrupt me, tell me that I was crazy.
She just listened, which is one of the reasons I love her. She listens to me.
"I'm used to getting what I want out of the guys I'm with. I can always find a way to get what I want. With Mark, all I had to do was pout, kiss his cheek, give him the puppy dog eyes, nuzzle his neck, and he'd never say no. At the bar, it was a low cut shirt, a tight skirt, a sway of my hips and a devilish smile and I got what I wanted. But you're different. You know how and when to say no. It's one of the things I love...about...you..."
Her eyes went wide and then she looked away. I mentally slapped myself in the forehead.
"Joanne, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."
"You love me?" Her eyes met mine again, searching for the truth. I could never lie to her.
"Yeah." It was a whisper on a sigh. She took a slow, deep breath, bit her bottom lip, and her eyes darkened slightly.
"Good, because I love you too." I closed my eyes and let out a slow breath.
"Where do we go from here?" I asked, opening my eyes.
"I'd be willing to try again." My heart skipped a beat. I'd been waiting for her to say that for weeks.
"Joanne Jefferson, will you be my girlfriend?" I asked with a sly smile. Her reply shocked me.
She crawled across the couch and put one hand on my hip, running the other one through my hair before kissing me slowly. I slid down on the couch, laying on my back and pulling her down against me. My hands found their way int her back pockets quickly and I pulled her closer.
I whimpered against her mouth when I felt her tongue brush against my lips. I opened my mouth, happily granting her entrance.
She was the first to pull away from the kiss, moving her lips to my neck. The hand on my hip slowly moved under my tank top. A small moan escaped my mouth before I could stop myself.
"Wait." Her lips stilled on my neck.
"I'm sorry, I thought..." I kissed her quickly, running my fingers through her hair.
"Don't be sorry. Damn you're good at that." She smiled shyly. I laughed lightly.
"I still want us to take this slow. You're different and I want this to be different." She smiled and kissed my forehead.
"I love you." She smiled happily.
"I love you too." I kissed her again, taking my time. We didn't have to hurry. We had all the time in the world.
"Let's go to bed. You look like you haven't slept in weeks." Joanne joked, getting up off of me.
"Oh, you're so funny. You're the reason I haven't been able to sleep. I've been to busy thinking about you." I said, standing as well. I slipped my arm around her waist.
"Awww, you're so sweet." She leaned over and kissed my cheek.
We walked to the bedroom and changed for bed, me slipping out of my long sleeved shirt and into a pair of Joanne's pajama pants, Joanne pulling on a pair of shorts. We slid I into bed together and cuddled up close to each other.
"I missed this." I sighed happily, pulling her closer.
"Me too." She whispered, kissing my neck again. I ran my fingers up and down her back softly, kissing her forehead.
"I love you." I whispered. I could feel myself falling asleep.
"I love you." She sounded as tired as I felt.
We fell asleep not long after, my head on her chest, listening to her heart beat. I woke up early in the morning, my body curled up closely to Joanne's.
I sighed and cuddled closer. I couldn't believe I was with Joanne again.
I kissed her cheek softly to make sure she was real. She smiled in her sleep and pulled me closer. My eyes moved around Joanne's bedroom sleepily. The window above her desk caught my eye. It was snowing outside.
I kissed Joanne's cheek again and slid out of bed, walking out into the livingroom. I opened the window and stepped out onto the fire escape.
I didn't care that I was standing outside in the snow wearing a tank top.
I didn't care hat I didn't have any way to pay the rent.
I didn't care that Mark hated me.
All that mattered was that I was with Joanne and we were in love.
I leaned against the railing of the fire escape, looking down at the city. Even at two in the morning the city was awake. I felt two warm arms slip around my waist and I felt Joanne press against my back.
"You're freezing." She whispered in my ear.
"No I'm not." I said, turning in her arms.
"So, when I fell asleep I was in bed with this gorgeous woman and when I woke up, I was alone. Do you have any idea where she went?" She pouted. I think that was the first and only time I've ever seen Joanne pout.
I leaned forward and kissed her quickly.
"Who taught you to pout like that?" I asked with a small smile.
"My beautiful girlfriend." She said, pulling me closer.
"Kiss me, it's beginning to snow." I whispered softly.
And she did.