Title: That Damned Happiness Clause (33/?)

Feedback!!!

Setting: Post Somnambulist. Keep in mind that I am a strong believer in the fact that one little thing can change the course of history, hence cannon gets meddled with because life took a different path my cannon is not Joss'.

Warnings: mega angst.

Note: as stated earlier, Spike's last name is Idol.

Spike couldn't wait until they got up to the room. He pushed Xander up against a wall of the elevator and kissed the boy for all he was worth. "Have I told you today just how proud you make me?" he asked when he broke away to let the immortal breathe. The boy just shook his head, panting for air. "So good, beautiful, clever, so strong, lovely, kind, funny, so brave, amazing. Sometimes I can't believe all this is real. And now you're giving me a baby." Spike didn't think he told the boy that he loved him frequently enough. He was a master vampire and what he felt for Xander sometimes made him feel weak. But Xander had been right on the plane, he was allowed to blame it on vampiric nesting instinct. Reaching down to unbuckle Xander's belt Spike said, "I love you so damn much."

Just as he leaned in to catch Xander's mouth again there was a ding and the elevator doors slid open. It wasn't their floor. A little girl in a bathing suit and water wings stood staring at them. Tugging on the hand of the man she was with she asked, "Daddy, why are those men kissin'?"

In a long suffering tone he said, "Because they want to, honey." Then addressing the boys with an apologetic smile he said, "We'll catch the next one."

"Ta," said Spike as he hit the door closed button and threw Xander back up against the wall again.

"What's gotten into you?" asked Xander with a laugh.

"You, many times."

Xander rolled his eyes at the pathetic joke, "Why are you so bouncy?"

Sobering momentarily Spike said, "I've never been this happy before, not in 120 years."

"Why are you so happy?" asked Xander softly.

Spike looked at him for a moment wondering if the boy was joking or if he'd gone mad. Running his hands over Xander's stomach he said, "Why?" he laughed, "Because you're having a baby, my baby. We're gonna be dads. I can't wait to watch you with our baby. You're going to be the sexiest dad ever. I can't believe you're pregnant, you're so fucking clever. Love you so much."

"I'm so glad you're excited." Xander smiled into the vampire's neck as Spike slid a hand into his trousers. He threw his head back against the wall panting, "I love you too."

The door dinged open again and Spike practically carried his lover into their room. Laying Xander down on the bed, he loomed over the prone man. He ran his hands over warm flesh as he stripped the boy. "Wanna make love to you. Where's the baby?" asked Spike as he hovered over Xander.

Xander looked confused for a moment and then smiled brightly, "She's in her own compartment. She's fine."

Spike scowled at the condescending smile gracing Xander's face. The boy thought he was cute. "That's good," he said nonchalantly, "'cause if the baby's born blind I don't want you accusing me of getting jiz in her eye."

Knocking on the wooden bedside table Xander said, "You shouldn't say those things!"

"Well kiss me and shut me up."

He brushed his teeth, took a shower, ate some cereal. And now He stood at the door staring at the photo album on the bed. He was afraid to go back in. Xander had told him what pictures to look for but Doyle didn't want to touch the thing. But he had to see them. The happy pictures he'd been promised. Steeling his resolve he walked in and sat down on the bed. He found the page without looking, feeling with his fingers. When he looked down he saw images that made him smile. The page was filled with pictures of three little kids in a blow up paddling pool. Willow's hair was so, so red when she was five, and Xander had curls down to his shoulders. He guessed that the other boy must have been Jesse.

Xander had huge eyes when he was younger. In one photo he was eating and ice pop and looking directly into the camera. He was beautiful even then. But his eyes were cold, he was only about 8 years old. Doyle wished that Angel hadn't killed Xander's father: he wanted to do it himself. As he flipped through the pictures he watched the kids grow up. There was a class picture with all of them in forth grade. The three of them were sitting in a row grinning. He saw a younger Cordelia sitting in the second row giving the trio a dirty look. There was one of a young teenage Xander sleep on a couch with Jesse. He guessed that Willow must have taken it. A series of Polaroids featured Xander sitting on Jesse's lap in stages of undressedness. He was being kissed to within an inch of his life. Some of the shots were slightly blurry due in part to the fact that they were taken at arm's length. Jesse had been holding the camera taking the pictures. In some of them it was clear that Xander didn't realize he was being photographed. But in the last one he had his head on Jesse's shoulder and was smirking into the lens like the cat who got the cream.

And then there were pictures from after Jesse died. Pictures of Prom where Cordelia was carefully ignoring Xander. He had Anya on his arm. Pictures of Willow with that Oz guy who brought the ring. Ones with Buffy and Angel talking in a corner. The picture made his chest contract. But Angel's eyes looked distant and he looked so fucking good in a tux. The were a few photos of the kids in the graduation gowns. And the last picture was much more recent. It was Spike, asleep on their blue couch, sucking his thumb.

Doyle smiled and felt finally strong enough to face his fear. He picked up his coat and walked out the door, towards the police station.

Angel felt the boy in his head. He felt Doyle's fear, anger, felt him throw up. He wanted to be with the boy. The feelings had quieted down, Doyle wasn't feeling distressed anymore just worried. Angel needed to be with him, but it was light outside.

He didn't know where Doyle was. But he didn't deserve to know. Maybe he'd kill him. Just like he killed Penn. Maybe that was why Doyle hadn't told him where he was going. Maybe the half-demon had been afraid to tell him. Was Doyle afraid of him? He was dirty, evil. He didn't deserve someone as good as Doyle. He was glad Doyle had gone away, now he couldn't hurt the boy. He wanted Doyle. He was lonely and cold. He wanted his childer, but they were all gone.

Before he had left Doyle had put Angel in bed. But now the vampire was laying on the floor. He didn't know how he got there. He was hungry, and angry, and he wanted his lover. Doyle wasn't coming back.

Leaning over his husband, Xander grabbed the phone and dialed the restaurant. The restaurant was too posh not to phone. A French accented man answered the other end. "Hi, yeah. I have a reservation for seven under the name of Idol?" He waited for the man to find it in the book, "Yes, I'd like to push it back until nine, is that at all possible?" He ran his hand over Spike's chest. "Thank you so much." He replaced the receiver. "It's 6:30 and I want at least three more mind blowing orgasms before getting up."

"Easy," replied Spike with a smirk.

A soft popping noise heralded Halfrek's arrival.