A/N: Sorry for the update delay. I've been extremely busy for the past few days. I hope you like this one :)
Within two days I had moved in with her. Life finally started making sense again. I thought I was over the petty relationship problems that I had dealt with while I was with Mark. I thought I was done playing games to get my lover to pay attention to me. Apparently, I wasn't.
I never realized how much Joanne worked during the week until I found myself sitting on my ass all day waiting for her to come home. I needed something to do. I needed a job.
When we would go out I noticed that she seemed more protective of me than usual. No matter what club we would go to, her arm would always be securely around my waist.
I didn't mind, though. It wasn't as though I was going to run off and cheat on her and she knew that. Or at lease I thought she knew that.
About a week after I moved in we went out to a new dance club called 'The Spot' that had just opened. I could tell the second we walked back into the apartment that Joanne was upset about something.
"Joanne, what the hell is your problem?" I asked jokingly, dropping onto the couch. I was drunk. I didn't understand why we couldn't just have fun. Joanne was always so serious.
She sat on the other side of the couch, curling up in a ball.
"I'm just tired, Maureen." She closed her eyes and rolled her head back on the couch. I could always tell when she was lying. She seemed so distant.
"Jo, talk to me." I said softly, reaching out and taking her hand. I laced our fingers together and tugged on her arm, pulling her towards me.
She let go of my hand and moved to her feet.
"I'm not in the mood to cuddle." She mumbled, walking off to the bedroom. I rolled my eyes and stood, following her. Joanne always wanted to cuddle.
"What's the matter?" I asked, my voice whiney. I sat on the edge of the bed and started swinging my feet like a child while Joanne changed for bed.
"Don't whine, Maureen. It's very unbecoming." She said as she slid into bed, turning her back to me. I stood and pulled my shirt off, walking to my small dresser. I pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and then slid into bed.
I wrapped my arms around her waist, nuzzling against her back.
"Maureen, please. Just drop it, alright. It's not a big deal." She sounded angry.
"It is a big deal. You're angry and I don't want you to be." I said, moving to my side of the bed.
"Not everything is about you, Maureen." She mumbled, moving closer to her side of the bed. I bit my lip and curled up around my pillow.
I didn't want it to be about me. I just wanted to know what was wrong so that I could try and make her feel better. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"You were flirting with a girl at the club." My eyes snapped open and turned to look at her.
"So this is about me." I mumbled softly.
"Fuck you Maureen." She said angrily. I put a hand on her shoulder gently. She pulled away.
"I wasn't flirting with anyone. I was with you the entire night." I said quietly, now sitting up. She rolled onto her back and looked up at me.
"You were flirting with the woman at the bar." She arched an eyebrow at me, almost daring me to deny it.
I thought for a second, which quickly turned into a minute because I was still intoxicated. She must have mistaken my silence for an admission of guilt because she turned back over with a huff.
"Damn it, Joanne. I'm drunk. You can't get mad at me because I'm to drunk to answer you the second you ask a question." I said, touching her shoulder again.
"Can't we just get some sleep, please?" She asked, turning to look at me.
"I don't want you to be mad at me. I don't remember flirting with anyone, but I'm sorry if I did." I bit my lip, trying not to cry. I'm a very emotional drunk.
"Ug, don't cry." She pulled my into her arms and I buried my face in her shoulder.
"I love you." I whispered. She rolled her eyes jokingly and gave my a quick kiss.
"I love you too. Now can we get some sleep?" I nodded, curling up against her and wrapping my arms around her waist. She sighed, but I wasn't sure if it was because she was happy or annoyed.
I stayed up half the night wondering what exactly what I had done to make Joanne upset. Before I could remember exactly what I had done, I had fallen asleep. I woke up to an empty bed the next morning.
That was the first time Joanne had ever really acted jealous about anything. I wasn't even sure why she was jealous. I hadn't done anything to make her wonder about me.
I assumed that it was just a one time thing, that Joanne had been having a bad day and she was just frustrated.
But no, every time we went out after that she would try and keep me away from other women and then accuse me of flirting with other people.
It was beginning to get on my nerves, but I was willing to just let it go. I love her and I didn't want to start a fight over something petty like that.
It wasn't until she accused me of cheating that I really lost my temper.
"And where the hell have you been?" Joanne asked as I walked into the apartment, late after an audition that had gone wrong.
"I had an audition that took way longer than it was supposed to." I said, brushing the snow out of my hair.
"You left for that audition hours ago." She was standing in the livingroom with her arms crossed over her chest, looking at me like I was a five year old who just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
"Yes, I know. But the director forgot about me. So I sat around and waited and waited for them to call me in, and then while the director was leaving he told me to come back tomorrow. Said he was late for dinner with his wife. I told him that I was late for dinner with my girlfriend. He just laughed and walked away. So I came home."
I leaned in to kiss her. She put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back to look me in the eye.
"Promise?" She asked, her eyes pleading with mine.
"Where did you think I was, out sleeping around?" I asked with a laugh, walking into the kitchen to get a drink. She didn't answer.
"Joanne?" I asked, standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the livingroom.
"Well fuck Maureen. You've been gone for hours at an 'audition' and then you tell me that you've got to go back tomorrow because the director forgot about you? What am I supposed to think?"
She was babbling now, moving her hands as fast as she was moving her mouth. I wished she didn't have to be so cute when she was babbling nervously.
"Whatever." I mumbled, walking to the bedroom. She followed me.
"Maureen..."
"I don't want to talk right now, okay?" I said, dropping onto the bed with a huff.
"Don't be such a drama queen." Joanne said, standing in the bedroom doorway. I could practically see her roll her eyes.
"I'm not being a drama queen. I just don't want to argue with you." I said, now sitting up and looking her in the eye.
"Couples argue, Maureen." Joanne said, crossing her arms over her chest.
She was using her "I am a lawyer, which makes me important" voice. I hated that voice.
"Couples do argue. When there's a reason to argue. But we have no reason to argue. You have no reason to think that I'm cheating." I tilted my head to one side, arching an eyebrow at her.
"You flirt with anyone that talks to you." I rolled my eyes and laughed.
"No, I definitely do not. When someone talks to me, I talk back. It's called being polite." She shook her head.
"Not the way you do it." She mumbled, walking into the room and sitting on the bed next to me. Her anger seemed to disappear. I glared at her.
"And just what do I do that turns being polite into being a flirt?" I looked her in the eye.
"You giggle and toss your hair and smile and...flirt." If that was her only reason to accuse me of cheating, this argument was going to be over very quickly.
"That's it? I do that to everyone. I do that to my gay friends, too. Does that mean I'm flirting with them?" I asked, humor in my voice. I was trying to keep from getting angry.
Apparently my voice betrayed me, because Joanne looked down and took a deep breath.
"I don't like the way they look at you." She said softly. I put a comforting hand on her knee.
"I can't help the way people look at me, honey. And you obviously don't notice all the people looking at you." I said with a smile.
"They don't look at me. Not the way they look at you." She said, her eyes on the floor. I reached out and touched her cheek gently.
"Oh believe me, people DEFINITELY look at you. How could they not? You're hott. But I just ignore them. Because I know you're my girl. And I'm you're girl." Leaning forward I pressed a small kiss to her lips.
She shook her head slowly, biting her lip.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. She looked so sad, seeming as though she was on the verge of tears.
"Come here." I whispered, holding my arms out to her. She fell against my chest and took a deep breath, wrapping her arms around my waist.
"I'm sorry." She whispered again as I fell back into the pillows, pulling her down with me.
"I know you are." I said, running my fingers through her hair.
"No, really I am. I know you aren't cheating on me. I just...I don't want to lose you." Her grip tightened on my waist. I kissed her forehead softly.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours, baby. I love you." She snuggled closer. It felt like she was trying to crawl into my skin.
I shifted slightly to look down at her. She whimpered softly, like a child having a nightmare, and pressed a small kiss to my neck.
"Don't leave me." She whispered.
I don't know what happened to Joanne in her past to make her so insecure. I couldn't believe that this beautiful, strong, intelligent woman was begging me, Maureen Johnson, eternal fuck up, not to leave her.
"I promise, I'm not leaving. Just sleep, baby." She nodded and nuzzled her nose against my neck. One of her hands found it's way underneath my shirt and rested on my stomach. It seemed to be her favorite way to sleep.
"I love you." She whispered sleepily.
"I love you too." She fell asleep not long after and I watched her.
She seemed so young when she slept. All of her fears and insecurities were written all across her face. I felt as though I was her only protection against the world.
Pulling her closer I pressed my lips to her forehead and fell asleep minutes later. When I woke up the next morning there was a note from Joanne on her pillow, apologizing again for accusing me of cheating.
After that night Joanne seemed to relax more when we went out and I tried my hardest to stop flirting with people.
I thought that my life was finally slowing down. I had my protest to look forward to and then I could go back to the theater. I was looking forward to just living with Joanne and being a couple and finally being safe.
I thought Joanne was the only family I needed. Little did I know that soon my life was going to take yet another turn down the winding road we call life.