Title: That Damned Happiness Clause (35?)

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Setting: Post Somnambulist pre Expecting. Keep in mind that I am a strong believer in the fact that one little thing can change the course of history, hence cannon gets meddled with because life took a different path my cannon is not Joss'.

Warnings: mega angst.

Recap: Doyle told Kate off. Angel is somewhat mad after killing Penn. Xander told Spike that he would let him go if it meant that Spike wouldn't have suffered at Angelus' and Penn's hands. In turn Spike told him to never let him go.

Doyle found Angel on the floor of their bedroom, "Angel man, you ok?" He helped Angel up and sat him on the bed, "Hey," he said softly, "Angel," the man didn't look at him, "why were you on the floor?"

"You came back."

"O' course. Never leave you fer long."

"Thought you'd gone," Angel sounded stunned that Doyle hadn't abandoned him.

"Just popped over to Xander's and t' the police station."

"To turn me in?" asked Angel in a small voice that sounded so young.

"No! T' threaten the she cop. Ye didn' do anyt'ing wrong," Triple M studied the vamp and slid into his lap. "Yer so pale. You need to eat."

"Not hungry," said Angel softly but Doyle could feel his lover's hunger reflected in himself and it strummed through his own body.

Leaning in the man cocked his head back, "Drink."

With a shake of his head Angel said, "It'll hurt you."

"Angel!" Doyle laughed, "What are ye talkin' about? This is us. You need to feed and I need to feel close t' you! Just bite me," the Irish boy rubbed against his mate, "Please, for me? Make me feel useful?"

"As a snack?"

Frustrated, Doyle shook his head. He knew that his lover wasn't in his right state of mind but it was upsetting to have the vampire acting so obtuse. It was unsettling to have Angel doubt him, he wasn't used to Angel acting unsurely. "As yer lover!" he nearly shouted. Biting his lip before he continued he calmed down and reminded himself to treat Angel with kidskin gloves, "I want to help you," he ran his fingers soothingly over Angel's face. "I 'ave no idea how t' help."

Looking up for the first time, Angel's eyes seemed to register Doyle's distress and he pulled the man closer. "Mine," he whispered burying his nose in Doyle's neck. Fangs descended against warm flesh, and his "Love you," was muffled by his lover's clavicle. His fangs slipped home with ease and slow grace.

The slighter man writhed in his lap, "So warm," the Irish man said happily as he could feel Angel's temperature rising.

Lapping at the wound, Angel felt safe. He took slow pulls from the vein as he stroked Doyle's back with blood heated fingers. All he could taste was Doyle: Doyle's love, fear, desire, and hope. His mind cleared as the liquid filtered through his system pulling the madness out of him and into its destructive heat. "Doyle?" he breathed between mouthfuls.

"Right 'ere wit' ye," he assured between gasps.

Finally allowing the blood flow to slow down, Angel stopped worrying the puncture wound. "Thank you. But I think I took too much. You've gone pale."

Eyes heavily lidded Doyle said, "'M fine. Jus' painfully turned on and the blood isn't in me face. Didn't take too much. Ye feelin' better?"

"Before, I couldn't hear myself think. I could hear The Master, Darla, my demon, Dru, and Penn all loathing me. I made him, destroyed him, and killed him. . . twice. But your blood brought me back -emptied my mind- thank you."

With a smile Doyle laughed, "Anytime, fer ye."

Laying back down, Angel pulled his mate with him and stroked the man's face, "Make love to me?"

Sipping his red wine Spike asked, "So, what are we going to call the blighter?" He slid his foot up Xander's leg under protective cover of the table cloth.

"Behave," Xander chided, but he was smiling, "I haven't thought of any names. Too excited to consider something so concrete." He spooned his beuf bourginon slowly, "What do you think?" The foot continued its travels.

"I think this restaurant's very nice," the smirk made Xander melt. He had taken the vampire up on the offer of allowing Xander to dress him. The place was far too posh for a dress code. After all, if you charge fifty dollars for an appetizer you can't demand that people wear ties. While Xander was very casually attired he had dressed Spike to the nines. The blond was draped in black, from his velvet bolero jacket to his Italian leather shoes. He was preternaturally pale while his lips were stained dark from his wine, "Don't you think?" he purred as he moved his foot in small circles.

"What?" asked Xander dazedly.

"I lost you somewhere," Spike sighed with mock anguish.

"Your foot's on my crotch," Xander informed his mate.

"I like these shoes you and Cordy picked out."

Xander was flushed but still managed to squeak out, "Bonding with Cordelia means shopping."

With a smirk Spike said, "Bonding, bonds, bondage. We have cuffs back in the room, don't let me forget."

"Baby names!" Xander almost shouted. Clearing his throat he spoke a tad bit more softly as he said, "We need to pick names, Spike," and then warned, "I'm gonna scream when you make me come in my pants. We're gonna get kicked out of the nice restaurant."

"Bite your lip and don't make a sound. Drink your soup, love, you don't want it going cool."

Desperately, Xander shut his eyes trying to calm down, "I'm being assaulted by my lover's shoe."

"And you're loving it," Spike smirked triumphantly, "Focus, Xan, baby names."

Blood erupted from Xander's lower lip as he came with a shudder, "Bastard."

"That's not a good name: imagine his classmates during roll call. The kid needs three names. If he is immortal, he needs to be able to easily change his identity and multiple names facilitate that." Xander's breath was slowly becoming normal, "I like James for a boy."

"I had a grandfather named-"

"I know," Spike smiled.

Xander replied with an eye roll. The thought somehow eclipsed his recent orgasm, "Of course you know, how silly of me. I loved him dearly. He wanted Mom and me to move to a farm with him and grandma. I used to spend every summer there. My grandma would fatten me up and he would let me ride the horses if I helped muck out the stables. It was awesome. They really loved me and liked having me there even though they hated my dad."

Nodding Spike said again, "I know," Xander turned his attention back to his rapidly cooling soup, "My father was a James," Spike confided as he played self-consciously with his food, "Let's go back to the hotel to talk?"

With a thought to his sticky pants Xander nodded. When Spike motioned for the bill he protested, "This is my treat: I'm paying."

"Yeah," Spike said slowly as though his sentiment should have been obvious to the immortal human, "but I put you through public torture during your treat."

The bill came and Xander thought for a moment before shrugging, "You pay," he noticed a white bag the waiter had brought over, "what's that?"

Focusing on the math of adding a tip to the phenomenal bill Spike sounded distracted as he said, "I assumed we wouldn't make it through pudding so I took the liberty of preordering vast amounts of chocolate things while you were in the loo."

Mouth open wide with wonder Xander replied with awe, "You're amazing."

The ten AM sun heralded Cordy's arrival. As she walked down the stairs she said, "Ok, so I gave you the day off yesterday for killing him but what's up?" she called a little louder as she said, "I hope your decent!"

"We're not!" replied Doyle as he rooted through the fridge. "We're naked and in the kitchen."

Leaning against the counter Angel watched his mug of blood warming in the microwave. He smirked as she squealed upon entering the room, "He did warn you."

"I thought he was joking!" she replied as she melodramatically covered her eyes, "Wesley's getting antsy. I told him that Penn done but he wants to talk to you."

The buzzer went off on the microwave and Angel happily stirred the blood with his finger. Cordelia tentatively opened her eyes just in time to witness the sight and pulled a slight "eww" face causing Angel to grin in response. Once he wouldn't have fed in front of her but she had tried to convince him that she was fine with it and Doyle made him feel so comfortable with himself that he no longer felt strange about it. "Tell 'im," Doyle sneered, "to go hunt a rogue demon." He bit into his apple. "We do need a word wit' you though."

"After I put on pants," Angel headed towards the bedroom and listened to Cordelia address his lover.

"Don't you want to get dressed?" Cordy asked carefully kept her eyes on Doyle's face.

Sitting down at the table the Irish man sized up the apple trying to figure out the place for his next bite. "Princess, I don't care what ye see. Ye've seen me starkers before."

"Why do I always catch you in the kitchen?" she laughed. Doyle shrugged but lovingly stroked the table causing her to blush. Angel walked in and sat next to him, "So what do you want to talk about?"

"You can't tell Wesley," Doyle prefaced the news, "Xander doesn't want him to know."

"Alright. Is Xander ok?" she asked with concern.

"He's going to have a child," Angel smiled with pride.

Shocked the girl swallowed a few times before speaking, "Who's crazy enough to let them adopt?"

"No one, Cor," Triple M laughed, "he's preggers."

Meandering back to the hotel was pleasant even in the bitter cold. Xander practically forgot about the state of his pants when Spike dropped down into the snow to make a "snow victim" he would never make an angel but apparently the imprint of a corpse was suitably evil to not be considered "ponce-ish". At the hotel they took a long, hot shower.

While he rubbed his lover's back under the lovely spray, Spike asked, "What names do you like?"

"Rupert," said Xander softly, as though he was afraid Spike would laugh. He justified it quickly, "As a middle name."

Pulling the boy close Spike said, "Pet, he didn't even call when your mum died."

"He was in England. In fact, he was supposed to get back yesterday. I should call him. He left a week after I came out to LA, he said he had a lot to do there. I have heaps of explaining to do." He sounded worried and leaned gratefully into Spike's caress.

Grimacing Spike tried to think of a reply. He didn't want to endorse a watcher. But he had researched Giles and knew the man to be quite trustworthy. He had felt angry when Rupert hadn't contacted his boy and with the new information he was slightly thrown. "Well, I hate to talk for a watcher," he said, reaching past Xander to turn off the water, "but he cares a great deal for you. He's done some wicked and cruel things for love. If anyone will understand this it's him."

"We haven't done anything wicked or cruel," he stepped out of the shower and pulled Spike with him.

"Tell that to Buffy."

"She beat you to a point where anyone alive would have died! What I did wasn't wicked," Xander shook with remembered anger as he wrapped a huge towel around Spike.

"Right. But she would say that us being bonded is sick enough. We are our wicked deed."

"You don't believe that?" Xander was scared and the assertion came out phrased as a question.

"Of course not," Spike's conviction soothed the boy and the vampire moved to wrap the towel around them both. "Ol' Rupes won't either. After all, he's been shagging the chaos mage for years."

"Ethan?"

"Tha's the one," Spike nodded as he rubbed their bodies dry with affectionate pats. Standing obediently still Xander was too shocked to move.

"How long is years?"

"Since they were 17. It's on and off. My sources say it's very on at the mo'."

"The trip to England?"

"I'm sure they had a lovely tryst. I mean, Giles did say he had a lot to do over there."

"But he's evil!"

"You're not serious," Spike laughed but then saw the anxiety in his mate's eyes and said, "pet, he's never eaten anyone."

"Yeah, but he has a soul."

"You can't defend me and attack him," Spike said warmly as he dropped the towel and led the immortal boy to bed. They instantly curled into one another, "It doesn't work."

With a sigh Xander asked, "Are they happy?"

Spike shrugged, "The mage wants to "move in". But your man won't let Ethan stay in Sunnyhell and won't leave the place. Says both options are too dangerous."

"Sad," Xander cuddled more firmly into Spike's side. He knew that they had made dangerous decisions to be together but Spike was the best thing he'd ever sought out.

Smiling tiredly Spike urged, "Ring him. Then I'll feed you cake for the rest of the night with the rather nice solid silver forks I stole from the restaurant. . . all 12 of them."

"You stole 12 forks? Why?"

"To go with the 12 knives, 12 spoons, 12 salad forks, 12 fish knifes, and 12 melon spoons. A good dinner set should sit 12."

"Spike!"

"Pet, I hardly think you should worry about the silverware."

"Oh, I'm not worried about the theft: I wanted to know, where did you fit it all? And why didn't you get the butter knives?"

"Didn't have a chance."

Laughing and shaking his head ruefully Xander rolled over to reach his mobile. Spike stroked his hip gently, "Don't molest me when I'm on the phone, babe."

"Would I do such a thing?" Spike looked shocked.

"You have in the past."