A/N: Sorry for the delay. Thanks for all the reviews everyone, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and the story, and leave a review, they always help. :)
"Did you miss me?"
"No."
"Come on, did you miss me?"
"I'm saying no."
"You missed me," Stephanie said, making a face at Chris as he sat eating his ice cream. She was just so happy to have him back here. She couldn't even go a few hours without him, she couldn't imagine going longer. A couple of days without Chris might just make her go into a catatonic state.
"And if I did miss you? Do I get a medal or something, a commemorative quarter marking the event? Because I want it to look like the Wisconsin state quarter, with the cheese, you know, because I like cheese."
"No, all you'll get is a certificate, I'm sorry, but you can always hang a certificate in your home, it'll make you look more prestigious."
"Do I need to look more prestigious than I already do?"
"Well, you can pretend it's a doctorate, and then you can pretend to be really smart. But you're going to need a pair of glasses for that," Stephanie said, tapping her chin. "No, mine wouldn't look good on you."
"So how much did YOU miss ME?" Chris asked. "Were you crying? Did you cry so hard that you formed a river?"
"No, I didn't cry, but I did whimper like a dog. I had to build a dog door for myself just because I was so believable. I only realized it was myself after I had already put the door in."
"Tragic."
"I did come to a conclusion though," Stephanie said, looking down thoughtfully. "And I'm going to need your advice, true advice not fake advice. I need you to be Lucy from the Peanuts gang, the doctor NEEDS to be in for the five cent psychiatric help."
"I will try my damnedest."
"I'm going to break up with Randy," Stephanie and she looked to Chris who looked nothing short of shocked. She knew she was going to get that reaction, and not just because she knew Chris very well; the fact of the matter was it WAS coming straight out of the blue. She had only just decided a short while ago.
"Isn't this the same guy that you love?" Chris asked. "Or am I mistaking him for someone else? Randy Quaid maybe? Randy Johnson? Are you going to break up with the pitcher because he went to the Yankess?"
"No, Randy the dreamboat," Stephanie clarified. "Although I have no love lost for those other two Randys you mentioned."
"And why are you doing this? I hope not for me, because I'm not going to sleep with you over this no matter how hard you try to get me into bed."
"You're already in my bed," she pointed out, gesturing towards the bed they were currently sitting on.
"Oh," Chris frowned, "Well then, I guess that you can have your way with me, but you have to be gentle because I'm a fragile man, and I can't take the roughness that I heard you're into. I'm not one for safety words Stephers."
"I would never be rough with you Snooks, you are far too precious a commodity."
"So let's get down to the bottom of the mystery before Scooby and the gang beat us to it. Why are you going to break up with the dreamboat?"
"Because I don't think that he's my dreamboat," Stephanie answered, and tried to be as clear as possible as she continued. "I think I just like him because he's so different from what I'm used to, and I feel kind of trapped."
"The jitters, they get you every time," Chris said, shaking his head. "I need to prescribe you some medicine for that, it'll clear right up if you let it."
"I'm breaking up with him. And not in some cutesy, false way that will only see us getting back together in some scene in the rain where we're running and we meet in a kiss, I'm breaking up with him for real."
"I think you're making a huge mistake Stephers, I thought you loved the guy."
"But I just don't feel it," Stephanie sighed. "Snooks, I don't know what to do. It's like, I really do like him, but I just…don't. We're so different, and I think that's going to kick us in the ass. Or maybe punch us in the face. Maybe we'll get into a catfight and pull each other's hair. All I know is I think I have to end it."
"You defended him over me," Chris pointed out.
Stephanie winced. She knew that she could never ever do that again, whether it be with Randy or any other person in the world. Chris came first with her, and he always would come first with her because she came first with him. They had a deep understanding with each other, and a bond that was too strong to ever be broken. Even if there were other people, they always knew it would be Chris and Stephanie, and Stephanie and Chris. That's how they came, as a package.
"I was stupid to do that. I'd like to plead temporary insanity, but I don't think that it would hold up in a court of law. Unless you have really bad attorneys, in which case, I'm sure you'd have a rock solid case for me."
"Well, if that's what you want to do, then go for it, I'm not going to be the one to stop you. I think that would involve bombs and stuff like that, and I'm not really up to cuff on my bomb techniques."
"That's too bad, I took a class," Stephanie shrugged. "I would just end up hurting him in the end."
"You don't give yourself enough credit. Unless you have a penchant for kicking during sex, or biting or something otherwise mean, but you know, I can take one for the team and see for myself if you're too rough."
"Well, I'd simply love to put on a demonstration for you, but I'm all tuckered out, and well, I'm just not my best when I don't feel like I'm beautiful."
"You're always dutiful," Chris said, then Stephanie hit him in the arm. "Wait, what, you DIDN'T say dutiful? Oh you said beautiful, well, no, you're not always that."
"Oh, great, thanks Snooks, you sure do know how to keep a girl's self-esteem at its highest point. Have you thought about going on the motivational speaking circuit? You know, speaking at hotels and conference centers, maybe selling tapes through infomercials."
"I'm not your boyfriend, I have no obligation whatsoever to find you beautiful all the time, so no, I'm not going to keep your self-esteem high," Chris said, licking the chocolate off his spoon with a flourish.
"And yet you want a demonstration of how I am in bed?"
"For educational purposes only," Chris said as seriously as he could.
"I'll give you educational purposes," Stephanie said, pushing him a little.
"Assault! Assault!" Chris yelled, jumping off the bed. Stephanie jumped off as well as she chased him around the room. She finally caught up with him and jumped on his back. Chris fell to the floor, taking Stephanie with him as they fell into a heap. Chris turned on his back, making Stephanie have to straddle him.
He looked up at her and smiled. She was only inches from him, her breath coming out in short pants from running around the hotel room. Her breath was blowing in his face and it was sweet smelling from all the sweets they had consumed. She smiled down at him, her eyes shining from the television, changing from blue to gray with every passing moment. He leaned his hand up and brushed her hair against her back. She let her weight fall on him until they were almost pressed together like a sandwich.
"If we were in a movie," she whispered, "this is just about the moment where we would kiss and find out that we're in love with each other, and we're crazy for being with other people when we so obviously have feelings for each other."
"So what are you waiting for, let's get with the kissing and revelations," Chris said, raising his eyebrows.
"Hmm," Stephanie said, pretending to think out loud. "But would it really be prudent?"
"No, of course not, that's why you have the revelation to be in the frame of mind where you justify the fact that you just cheated on your significant others."
"I don't condone cheating," Stephanie told him. "I'm a strict woman Snooks, I don't want to cheat or be cheated on. Do you know how much karma would kick your ass for that? Karma is not something I want to mess with."
"So do you think you might want to get the hell off of me before your chest caves in my chest with the weight?"
"Well just for that, I think that I'll stay right here for a while."
"Oh great, collapsed lung, here I come."
Stephanie got off of him and held out her hand. He grabbed it and she used all of her strength to help pull him up. They dusted themselves off from the grime on the floor and went to clean up the bedroom since it was getting late and they were tired. There was an unspoken agreement that they would stay here together. Not like that, but just sleep together. Chris guessed that Stephanie just needed him near her.
"I'm going to go break it off with him right now," Stephanie said. "I don't want to put it off."
"So like you," Chris said, "Stephers, are you sure about this?"
"When I said I loved him, I don't know Snooks, it felt wrong, and I don't want to see if it'll be right because I felt that it wouldn't, does that make sense?"
"Does anything you say make sense?"
"No, but I was hoping to make a little bit more sense than usual. Unless you think I shouldn't do it, in which case, I'll take your word for it, if that's what you want me to do. I mean, tell me Snooks, I need your guidance, you are my life guru and you should be making all my decisions for me, like that Friends episode, where Monica took over all of Rachel's decisions. I think that's how it went, I forget."
"I think that you should do what you think is right, and if you think that breaking it off with the dreamboat is right, than I'm not going to stop you Stephers."
"But the first time I said I loved him, and the only time really was when you were beating him up Snooks," Stephanie pointed out.
"Whoa, you said you loved him as an argument to why I shouldn't beat him up?" Chris said, making a face, "Well yeah, I can see how you would say it and not really mean it. See Stephers, this is information that you really should tell me before you start babbling about how you want to break up with him."
"What difference would it have made?"
"I would've given me a better read of the situation. I was a quarterback going out there with no play, just an order to throw the ball. You didn't give me any plays to go out there with. NO PLAY! I could've gotten sacked!"
"Nah, because I would make sure the o-line (offensive line) would take care of you."
"Do you want me to walk you to the dreamboat's room?"
"No thanks, I can move my feet."
"That joke would go over most people's heads."
"I know, that's what makes it funny," Stephanie said obviously. "Wish me luck."
"May the force be with you."
Stephanie stuck her tongue out and went to grab a coat so she didn't look completely stupid in her pajamas. She left the room and walked down the hallway to where the elevators were. Randy was two floors up, and she rode the lonely elevator up those two floors to his floor. She got off the elevator and walked down to his room, and she was just about there when the room next to his opened and someone walked out.
"I guess this is God's way of punishing me," Stephanie said out loud to herself.
"Stephanie," Hunter said briefly.
"Asshole," Stephanie greeted back in the same tone. "Oh, I'm sorry, I meant Hunter. See, words get away from me sometimes, and then I have to go chasing after them before they get so far away from me that they're just blips on a radar and not even the best honing device can grab them."
"Still weird I see."
"Weird? Is that the word for it? Man, if I had just known that I was weird, maybe I could've kept you interested. Oh wait, no, it was because I wasn't a slut wasn't it? I'd like to say that I was working on that, but I haven't got the time to practice."
"Did you ever figure it was because I thought you were annoying that I dumped you?"
"No, because you were just using me anyways, and using and annoying are not really synonymous with each other, but then what do I know, I'm weird after all. I mean, what a dull description. At least call me eccentric so I have something to work with."
"Did you come up to see me Stephy baby?" Hunter asked, leering at her.
"Is that what you think?"
"I see you here, so yeah, it's what I think."
"I'd rather live in a water tower," she answered. "Or if you prefer, I would rather get mauled by a lion. You can choose either one. The mauled is more horrific, but if you think of the psychological aspects of living alone in an isolated water tower, that's where you have the real terror."
"Oh come on Stephy, if you want it, then we can go for one more round."
"Do I get boxing gloves? That's the only way that I'm going to do this. Ok, and maybe for some of those shiny boxer shorts that they wear. Preferably in blue if you have them."
"God the thought of marrying you sickens me," Hunter said shuddering.
"No way! Because the same thought crept into my head at the exact same moment. It's a good thing that we didn't have a Freaky Friday moment and switched bodies, I would never be able to live in your body, although, in certain places, it would be pretty much the same," Stephanie said, raising her hand and putting her thumb very close to her index finger. "I speak from experience, though I had to get thoroughly cleansed after we broke up, didn't want the germs to linger."
"Bitch," Hunter muttered. "You're going to end up alone you know that right? There is not one guy in this entire world who is going to put up with you. You were LUCKY to have me."
"I call opposite day!" Stephanie said excitedly. "That means I was UNLUCKY to have you. See how that works, its opposite."
"Alone Stephanie, alone."
"You forget something Hunter," Stephanie said, her voice gaining the edge it got when she was addressing her family.
"What's that? That you're weird and stupid, and nobody likes you."
"Nope, Chris always has my back, and you always have to watch out."
"Yeah, and how long is that going to last with Trish in the picture. Face it Stephanie, you're going to get phased out, and then nobody will put up with you," Hunter said with a laugh.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Stephanie said. "Because you know less than a napkin, because at least a napkin has enough sense to know that Chris is my best friend, and he loves me, and he always will."
"Alone Stephanie, all alone."