Author's Note: OH DEAR GOD HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE I LAST UPDATED! hyperventilates Well I'm back. So sorry about the delay but between band camp vacations and writers block and computer issues things have been rabid… Thanks to G.A. Clive and Princess SammO for prodding me to keep going… (Luv ya :D!) Well enough of my excuses on to the REAL thing you clicked her for.

Things Get Bad

It was a bright and shining day in Rivendell. The kind of day that makes young love want to scamper off through the flowers, blow kisses to each other, and basically act sweet enough to give unfortunate witnesses cavities. Needless to say all dating or bonded elves inside the bright halls were just bursting to get outside; all elves that is except one.

Legolas sighed heavily for what must have been the thirtieth time that day. He hadn't even made it to breakfast yet and already had a growing sense of dread in the pit of his stomach that today was going to be bad. One of the hand maidens, P something… had informed him that due to some visiting royal twins arriving, there would be a grand ball held that evening.

Aragorn and Legolas however were much to tired and worried with their own problems to realize the connection between the twins being 'harshly' punished and the royal twins and therefore were quite surprised to see the twins sitting in the hall looking very much like a beautiful elf maiden… and a cupcake.

The wood elf nearly burst into hysterics right there. Just sat on the floor and laughed till he cried. However, with his hand maidens and corset in tact he decided not to do anything for the time being and simply kept walking trying to push down the corners of his lips that were twisting their way into a smile.

Aragorn, on the other hand was not so graceful. He kept up his pace beside Legolas, however earned them several stares as he was laughing hysterically tears streaming down his face.

"OH DARLING, LOOK!" A shrill squeal from the cupcake sounded as she jumped up and ran toward them, stopping at the prince. "You must be Legolas…" She bent down as if to kiss the other elf's cheek but instead hissed something into his ear.

"We will kill Ada in his sleep."

"Err… right…"

Elrohir walked up behind his brother… err… sister. "Frenit has already informed us of you're condition, Milady… congratulations." He too got up close to the Legolas ear.

"Are you crazy? Now what are we going to do…" He pulled away smiling almost painfully.

Elladan spoke up. "We are Princesses Entris and Emin… from the far off land of… err…New… Is…realastan…ia…burg…?"

Elrohir groaned massaged his temple looking very much like Elrond in Drag.

"Come Milady…" he sighed voice higher than usual to hide its masculinity. "You must be hungry…" He linked arms and led her off and Elladan swore inwardly. Legolas looked prettier than Estel and he had wanted him… besides Blue went better with pink than brown did. He however, bit his tongue and linked arms with the Ranger and led him out of the room already talking loudly.

Legolas sighed, wishing Aragorn was still with him. He settled into his seat in-between Frenit and his Twin guard looking at the strange substance on his plate.

"What is this?" He asked staring at the pile of mushy leaves.

Frenit, who within the five seconds of sitting down had already managed to kiss him twice, play footsies once and was currently spouting baby talk to his 'wife's' stomach, looked up. "Why, Darling, It's kelp… It's good for the baby you know. And after all you are eating for two..."

"One of which dose not want slimy green goop sliding down her throat…"

"Hurry up and eat that so you can drink the horse milk…"

"HORSE MILK!"

"Yes, you know the old Gladden Fields tradition! Horse milk to make the child strong."

"Err… of course… how silly of me…" He looked up at Elrond who spared a side glanced and shrugged before continuing a conversation with Glorifindel.

He winced as Frenit called over a servant carrying a huge goblet filled with strange smelling milk like substance with small brown hairs floating in it. "Oh, Darn, I can not drink it; there are hairs in it what a shame."

"Sweetie you're being so silly today… of course you drink the hairs with it… that's the most important part. Now finish you're kelp then you may have it." He laughed and began in on his eggs and bacon.

"Darling… are you sure that… this is… the best… choice right now?" He poked the kelp wincing as it made a sound akin to a moose with bowel movement. "I mean… I really think that I would be better… if I could actually swallow the food…" He made another face.

"Now, now sweetie…" That was all he said, however Legolas immediately knew he had lost the argument. He sighed and lifted the fork to his mouth ignoring the snickers coming from his supposed body guard. He turned to the twin slightly. "If this is poisoned and I die, it's going to be you're fault." He whispered and took the bite.

His first instinct was to spit it out all over Frenit's face. However, this would most likely not be the best choice. Instead, he did the next best thing. He ran out of the room to find somewhere quiet to vomit.

Elrohir winced and got up. All eyes on him and Leoglas' quickly retreating form he smiled awkwardly. "Err… Morning Sickness…" Then turned and headed to follow the younger elf.

He found him in the gardens, by his favorite tree, emptying the contents of his stomach into a nearby bush.

"Legolas, I'm no wood elf but I would hazard a guess that the bush probably doesn't like that very much."

The prince turned around and gave him a look that could have made Elrond's eyebrows jump off and run for cover. "It's fertilizer."

The twin sighed and sat on a conveniently located stone bench. "This can't be good for the mission."

"This can't be good for my stomach." He sat down by Elrohir. "Why is he so obsessed with this kid…? I didn't even get a good morning from him."

"Well, I suppose he's just excited. He is going to be a father." The elf shrugged. "I would be excited to… although maybe not to his extent…"

"Hopefully he has a meeting today. That way I won't have to deal with him and his… exuberance…"

"He does. In fact he told Ada that he could not attend the ball tonight… something about preparing something for you…"

"Oh merciful Valar…" Legolas buried his face in his hands. "I knew that something like this was going to happen… he is going to try to be romantic… I just know it…"

"Well you have all evening to worry about that… just relax… basically all day today is gong to be you being pampered and prepared for tonight's ball… so just… try to relax."

"Alright… I… I'll try…"

However he did not try enough. Githil's hand maidens and Aragorn did infact try to get him and the twins ready for the ball. Bubble baths, massages, and soothing music, however didn't work and Legolas started at the slightest movements; and now, half an hour before the ball it was getting increasingly difficult to style his hair when he jerked this way and that looking around the room as if a Balrog were to jump out of the closet.

"Your highness…" The girl styling his hair that had introduced herself as Prithit seemed frustrated. "Why don't you have one of the chocolates king Frenit sent to you… that would help you relax…"

"Fine…" He reached out a shaky hand to the chocolates that were sitting to a side of the dresser and took one, biting into it. Immediately he knew they were drugged with a sedative, but whatever it was it was fast acting and the elf quickly relaxed letting out an elated giggle.

"That was yummy…" His thoughts clouded and his voice slurred.

The maidens looked at each other nervously as Aragorn and the twins looked concernedly at the intoxicated wood elf.

"Oh… look at that… isn't that a lovely hairstyle why… has anyone every told you that you should be a hand maiden?" Prithit had just finished French braiding the elf's hair and inlaying flowers in it and was looking concerned herself.

"Come along you're highness lets get you into that lovely gown Lord Elrond had made for you…"

"What… a gown… am I going somewhere…"

The twins stood up and Aragorn was making his way to his friend.

"Yes, your majesty you're going to a ball…"

"What… your majesty… I'm not a majesty… I'm Leg-"

Aragorn made a mad dive tackling the Elf to the ground and covering his mouth. "Leggy, you're leggy and have wonderful legs… yes we know now up you go and into you're dress…"

"Mmmfmmfphrmmmf…" The wood elf's eyes took on a dreamy look.

The Ranger helped his friend up who had begun giggling madly and swaying slightly, mumbling incoherent words to himself.

It took all of the girls to get Legolas into the dress because he seemed to be having trouble standing still and it took three people to hold him in place while the rest stuffed him in and tied its lace bodice and back.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you guys?" The Elf's voice was beginning to loose its high pitch and it quavered as if he'd had too much to drink. "Because I do… I really, really, really do…"

Elladan and Elrohir were already dressed and ready and supported Legolas on either side, half carrying him to the bed.

"Hey guys… Lookat' me..." He giggled madly and flopped onto his back inching along the comforter. "I am an inch worm… inch… inch…" He was interrupted as he began to giggle madly again.

"Milady…" Prithit tried. "I really, really think that you should lie down…

Legolas spoke up, this time in his normal voice. "I am not your lady… I can't be…"

"Why not…"

"I'm already Legolas… I can't be both…"

A series of delighted squeals went around through the girls as the Elladan banged his head against the wall, Elrohir massaged his temple, and Aragorn just nodded, annoyed, confirming it.

Immediately there was a rush as all six girls crowded around the bed. However, it was Trinil who managed to get there first and immediately launched herself onto his lap.

"Oh Leggy you must have gone undercover to protect the Queen… That's SO brave of you! You even ate one of the poisoned chocolates; you must have known that as soon as she saw one missing she wouldn't eat anymore so you sacrificed you're sanity for the night to save her life!" She cooed.

"What?" Aragorn looked horrified at the helpful if not oddly specific confession.

Prithit turned around. "Those…those chocolates… King Frenit… he… he told us…he said that he needed her sedated… and…"

Fwethia glared daggers at the younger girl who had obviously just blown their cover wide open. "Lock the doors, girls… they know too much… we have to kill them…"

The Elves and Aragorn took fighting positions while Legolas pushed Trinil off and went back to being an inchworm. No one moved save Legolas. And a tense silence fell upon the room… well… as tense as a silence can get with an intoxicated wood elf singing that he's an inchworm. Finally, it was broken when Legolas shot up and out the door with surprising speed running down toward the ball. Aragorn took off after him leaving the twins with the six females. Then, with a war cry to make history… the Elves dashed forward and the battle began.

Author's Note: Bwahahahahahah cliffie! But dern does it feel good to be posting… and this chapter is for G.A. Clive and Princess SammO (no formal dedication but it's for you) because without them I seriously doubt this story would have ever been continued. Also to KC: for giving me a piece of her ceiling.