A/N: So I noticed this morning that for some reason Chapter 19 didn't post completely, so here is ALL of it, not just the beginning.
And now for the story...
Joanne was still angry with me when we got up the next morning. By the time I finally woke up she was already in the shower. I stayed in bed for half an hour, thinking about the night before.
I hadn't slept much. I was to busy thinking and staring at Joanne. Even in her sleep she seemed angry at me. Every time I tried to snuggle closer to her she would pull away. I didn't know why she was so angry at me.
Something must have really been bothering her for her not to want to cuddle. Joanne was the Cuddle Queen.
I remember her telling me once that she thought cuddling was more intimate than sex. I didn't exactly understand it, but I loved being close to Joanne, so I was always happy to cuddle.
I started wondering what Joanne and I were going to talk about later that night. There was so much that we needed to work through, so many things that needed to be said. I was starting to get nervous, anticipating the conversation I knew was going to happen.
The bedroom door opened slowly and Joanne peaked her head in, probably checking to see if I was awake yet.
"Hey baby." I said, sitting up and looking at her.
"Hey. Are you just getting up?" She asked, walking to the bed and sitting next to me. I ran my fingers through my hair and smiled at her.
"I was going to join you in the shower, but I figured we'd never get out of here if I did." I reached out and put a hand on her knee, moving closer to her.
"We have to leave soon." She said, running her fingers through my hair and pulling me even closer.
"I didn't even get a good morning kiss." I pouted, pushing her back on the bed.
"I got up early to get ready." She said softly as I leaned down and kissed her slowly. Her hands rested on my hips, her thumbs working in small circles on the bare skin of my stomach, just underneath my t-shirt.
"We're going to be late if you don't get in the shower soon." Her voice was soft as I started to kiss her neck slowly.
"Don't worry so much." I said before kissing her quickly, running my fingers through her hair and resting my hand on the back of her neck, rubbing it softly.
"I love you." I said before climbing off of her and walking to the dresser. She sat up and started to fix her hair.
"You look great, Pookie." I pulled out my favorite pair of leather pants and a black tank top.
"You aren't actually going to wear that, are you?" She asked, moving to her feet.
"Well not just this." I said, walking to the closet. I pulled out a red suit jacket and tossed it onto the bed.
"Please, anything but the leather pants." She begged, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind.
"But they look hot on me." I whined, pulling her arms tighter around my.
"I know they do. But my parents are going to be there and your parents are going to be there and your parents are going to be there and I'm not sure how your leather pants are going to fit in." She said softly.
We started to sway slowly, rocking in a gentle rhythm to nothing in particular.
"I can make it work, baby." I said, leaning back and kissing cheek.
"Maureen..."
"Stop worrying. Don't worry, baby. I'll be on my best behavior. Besides, this is the dressiest thing I own without being sleazy." I said, turning in her arms. She just looked at me, one eyebrow arched.
"I won't be long." I said, kissing her lips quickly before slipping out of her arms and flouncing out of the bedroom to the bathroom.
I took the quickest shower I think I've ever taken in my life, not wanting to be late for the engagement party. The sooner we finished at the engagement party, the sooner we could go home and talk for the first time in a really long time.
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped towel tightly around my body. Cleaning the steam off of the mirror I stared at my reflection for a few minutes. I smiled and ran my fingers through my damp hair, flipping it to the side.
I dried my hair and pulled half of it back out of my face, leaving the rest of id down. After doing my make-up I went to the bedroom and dressed quickly. Walking out into the kitchen I found Joanne sitting at the table, drinking her coffee.
"Well, what do you think?" I asked, spinning in a small circle as I walked to her. She smiled at me.
"You look great. I guess you were right, the leather does work." She said, slipping an arm around my waist as I stood next to her. I started to play with her hair while she read the paper.
"Ready to go?" She asked, finishing her coffee.
"Of course. I'm ready when you are." She stood and set her cup in the sink. I trapped her against the counter, wrapping my arms around her waist.
I started to kiss her neck slowly, slipping my hand beneath the jacket she was wearing. Her head tilted to the side and she sighed as I traced her belly button slowly. I kissed my way up her neck to her ear, which I bit gently.
"I love you. So much. And I can't wait to be your wife." I whispered in her ear, resting my chin on her shoulder. She sniffed and turned in my arms, kissing me.
"I love you. More than you'll probably ever know." She whispered, tears shining in her beautiful brown eyes.
"Come on, baby. Let's get this over with." I said, taking her by the hand, leading her out of the apartment.
We took a cab to her parents country club, snuggled up in the back seat.
"You ready?" She asked as the cab stopped.
"If I say no, can we go back home?" I asked as she payed the cab driver.
"No, but that was a nice try." She said, taking my hand and pulling me from the cab.
"Are you sure your parents don't hate me?" I asked as we walked into the building.
"Of course they don't hate you, honeybear. How could anyone hate you, baby?" She asked, taking both of my hands in hers.
"And even if they did hate you, it doesn't matter to me because I love you." She looked me in the eye and half pouted at me.
"You are too cute." I said, pulling her closer to me and kissing her. I ran my hands down her back and rested them on her ass, pulling her even closer to me.
A couch from behind me startled me out of the kiss. I leaned my forehead on Joanne's shoulder. Her arms slid around my waist and she pulled me against her, kissing my cheek softly before pulling away.
"Hey daddy." Her parents were standing behind me and I turned to look at them, a small smile on my face.
Her mother immediately started to fix her hair and adjust her jacket.
"Mom, I'm fine." She said, pushing her mother's hands away.
I approached them slowly, my hands jammed in the pockets of my jacket.
"Maureen, you look lovely." Mrs. Jefferson said, giving me a stiff hug. I hugged her back lightly and smiled at her.
"Maureen, how have you been?" Mr. Jefferson asked, pulling me into a bear hug. I hugged him back, letting my eyes close slowly.
"I'm good. Great, really." I said, taking Joanne's hand.
"How's the show going?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested.
"It's good. Opening night is in a few weeks. I'm really excited." I said with a nervous laugh.
"Let us know when exactly. We're going out of town on business next week, but we might be back by opening night." Mrs. Jefferson said sweetly. She was really trying to get along with me.
"I'll call you when I find out the details." I smiled and squeezed Joanne's hand.
"Your parents are already here, in the dining room. We've been trading stories." Mrs. Jefferson said, leading us to the diningroom.
Joanne glanced at me and smiled before pulling me along with her. My parents were sitting in the room at a table near what seemed to be the front of the room, half empty glasses of champaign sitting in front of both of them.
I plastered a fake smile on my face and let go of Joanne's hand, walking to my parents.
"Mom, Dad, hey." I said, hugging both of them at the same time.
My mother pulled back to look at me, her eyes running over my outfit.
"Leather?" She asked with a disapproving look.
"Come on Mom, don't I look good?" I asked, striking an overly dramatic pose. My dad tried to hide his smirk while my mother shook her head at me.
"People should be arriving any minute now. I'm so glad that you let us throw you this party. It's not every day that my baby gets engaged." Mrs. Jefferson said, smiling brightly at her daughter.
Joanne blushed slightly, rolling her eyes.
Ten minutes later people started filing into the room, people that I had never seen before in my life and would probably never see again.
Joanne pulled me out into the entrance way twenty minutes later, explaining that most of the people there were colleagues of her parents.
"Good to know. Have you seen Mark or Mimi or anybody?" I asked softly, looking around the room.
"Why?" She asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"Because you know these people. Or at least you know about being a lawyer. You have something in common with them. The only thing I can do is stand next to you and smile and nod like I know what's going on. I'm just a little bored." I smiled up at her, slipping my arms around her waist.
"We don't have to stay much longer if you don't want to." She said softly.
"Don't worry about it. We can stay. It's not a big deal." I said, giving her a quick peck on the lips. Her brow knitted together in confusion for a second.
"We should get back in there. They all probably think we left to have sex." I said, nodding my head towards the main dining room.
"You're probably right." Joanne said before kissing me again.
"Awww, look at the happy couple." I heard someone say behind me. I turned slowly to see Collins, Angel, Mimi, Roger, and Mark standing there.
"I love you." I whispered to Joanne before letting her slip out of my arms.
"I love you too." She whispered back.
"Hey everybody." Joanne said, leading us all back into the main dining room.
I immediately started to discuss brides maids dresses with Mimi and Angel. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
We all grabbed drinks and took our seats. Joanne and I sat with my parents while everyone else sat at the table behind us. I laughed lightly at the look my mother was giving Mimi, who had dropped onto Roger's lap without a second thought.
"I can't believe you're getting married." Mimi said once she was comfortable.
"Why?" I asked, turning to look at her. Joanne and Collins seemed to be having another one of their philosophical arguments. I decided to let them go.
"You don't seem like the type to get married, that's all." She said with a shrug, taking a drink of her champaign. I just looked at her.
"I don't mean that in a bad way. But you're a free spirit, and she's...Joanne. And you know I love her to death, but it seems like she's always trying to change you." She smiled sweetly at me.
I know she wasn't trying to be mean or anything like that, butt now I was thinking. If Mimi thought I wasn't the relationship type, the commitment type, maybe Joanne felt the same way. Maybe Joanne was afraid that I was going to run off on her.
Before I had the chance to say anything else to Mimi I heard a clinking noise towards the front of the room. Everyone fell silent as we all turned to see Joanne's parents waiting patiently for everyone's attention.
"I'd like to welcome everyone and congratulate my daughter, Joanne." She giggled nervously and moved closer to me slightly, hiding her face. Sometimes she was just too cute.
"On...on her wonderful choice of a life partner, Maureen Johnson."
Life partner. Everyone around me started to clap as I drank most of my champaign in one swift gulp.
"My husband and I would also like to welcome Maureen's parents, Eddie and Nancy Johnson, into our family." Mrs. Jefferson said.
Everyone clapped again. I glanced at my parents, who both faked a smile at me.
"Would everyone please stand." The room filled with the noises of fifty people moving to their feet. Joanne wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to her. I did the same.
"And let's raise a glass to toast the future of Joanne and Maureen."
I finished what was in my glass and then turned to Joanne. She gave me a quick kiss on the lips, which I pulled away from just as quickly, turning to hug my parents while Collins pulled Joanne into a hug.
I walked off to the bar in search of something more to drink. I had a feeling I was going to need it. I was beginning to feel clostrophobic. I needed to get out of there, take Joanne and go home. But we couldn't just walk out.
"Got anything stronger than this?" I asked, setting my glass down. The woman behind the table shook her head with a small smile.
"More champaign and wine, I'm afraid." She said with a small shrug.
I grabbed another glass of champaign and drank it as quickly as I could.
"Hi." I said, a bit out of breath. She smiled at me. The gold chain around her neck caught my eye.
"Where did you get that necklace?" I asked, sitting on the edge of the table.
"My boyfriend bought it for me for my birthday. I'm not sure where exactly he got it." She said with another small shrug.
Before either one of us could say anything else I felt a sharp tug on my elbow.
"Hey baby." I said, turning and looking up at Joanne.
"Could you excuse us for a minute?" She asked, ignoring me. The woman behind the bar nodded.
"Thank you." She said, dragging me off to talk to me.
"What's up?" I asked, looking her in the eye.
"What the hell are you doing?" She asked angrily, her voice low.
"What? We were just talking." I said, taking another drink.
"Right." She mumbled, rolling her eyes again.
"Pookie, we were just talking." Why wouldn't she believe me?
"Maureen, please. Do not do this today..."
"Excuse me sir, could you hold this?" I asked, handing my drink to the man sitting at the table next to us.
"Ya know what, Miss Ivy League," Her eyes flashed up at me in anger.
"I can't take much more of this. This obsessive compulsive, control freak paranoia."
Maybe Mimi was right. Joanne always did seem to be trying to change me. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her.
"What?" She asked angrily.
"I didn't get my nipples pierced because it grossed you out." She looked around nervously, hoping that nobody was paying any attention to me.
"I didn't stay at the Kink Club last night because you wanted to go home." I knew that wasn't entirely true. I could have stayed after she left me there.
"You were flirting with a woman in rubber." Her voice was soft.
"THERE WILL ALWAYS BE WOMEN IN RUBBER FLIRTING WITH ME!" I yelled, not caring who was watching us.
"Gimme a break!"
Why didn't she understand that this was me? I wasn't going to change completely for her and I wasn't going to give in this time.
While I was trying to get her to see my point, to see me, she turned and walked away, embarrassed. There was no way I was going to let her just walk off. I followed her, grabbing her by the waist.
Apparently I embarrassed her again because she pulled away and stormed off. I jumped up onto the closest table, which had an ice sculpture on it. That only pissed her off even more.
She wasn't listening to what I was saying, she was just getting mad and ignoring me. She was to worried about what everyone else was thinking.
The only way I could get her attention on me was to pull my shirt up. Joanne thought I was going to take my shirt off. She always took me to seriously.
I followed her as she stormed off again, this time with my jacket in hand. She started climbing the stairs, but turned to look at me. I hoped that she was starting to listen to me.
"Kiss Pookie." I said, kneeling down on the stairs in front of her. I just wanted her to listen to me. If only she would just listen to me.
I looked up at her, listening to her as she started to blame all of our relationship problems on me. Of course. Everything is my fault. She was throwing my own requests back in my face.
"Take me for what I am."
"A control freak." I was tired of biting my tongue. If she wanted to know what I thought, I was going to tell her.
"A snob, yet over attentive." With every step down those stairs my anger seemed to rise. I couldn't believe she was blaming all of this on me.
"A loveable droll geek." This wasn't working.
"And anal retentive." Maybe love doesn't concur all.
No matter what we did we were arguing. It wasn't worth it anymore. I was not going to back down and apologize this time. I always seemed to be apologizing and it was never good enough for her.
I was never going to be good enough for her.
I slid across the pool table, not caring that everyone was watching us. If she wasn't going to love me for me, that this was not going to work. We couldn't be together. We weren't ready. We were both to angry, to stubborn, to selfish.
"Guess I'm leavin'. I'm gone."
I love you, Joanne.