A/N: Sorry for the wait in the updating. My grandfather died Tuesday so I didn't have the chance to write or update. Suggestions are welcome. I will consider them.

When I finally reached the loft I was happy to find that all their stuff was back.

"All your shit's back." I said, tossing Mark the key.

"I'm gonna go unpack." Roger said, grabbing a box and sulking off to his bedroom.

I looked from Collins and Angel, who were sitting by the door, to Mimi, who was sitting on the other side of the room, surrounded by boxes.

"What's his problem?" I asked, walking over to the couch in the middle of the room and sitting down.

"Benny's a fuck head." Mimi answered, moving to her feet.

"But we already knew that." I said, running my fingers through my hair.

"Well now he's doing everything in his power to piss Roger off. And Roger's taking it out on me." Mimi dropped onto the couch next to me and pulled her knees up underneath her body. She was so flexible. I couldn't believe it sometimes.

"Roger's always like that. If something goes wrong, he throws a fit. He'll get over it." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well, when he's done being a baby, tell him to give me a call. I have shit to do." Mimi said, standing and walking out.

"Angel, Collins, promise me you two are going to stay together. It looks like everyone's breaking up." I said with a small, fake laugh.

"You and Joanne broke up?" Angel asked, sliding off of Collins' lap to come sit next to me on the couch.

"Oh yeah, we're definitely done. I'm moving out as soon as I find a place." I said proudly.

"Well honey, you're welcome to stay with us until you get back on your feet." Angel offered sweetly, patting my leg.

"Yeah, Mo. You're always welcome to stay with us. We don't mind." Collins said, sitting down on the other side of me.

"No, I need to get out on my own. I don't think I've ever been alone. I've always lived with someone. I'll find a place, but thank you." I said, putting my head on Collins' shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around me in an brotherly hug and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. We stayed like that for a few seconds, my body soaking in Collins' warmth.

"We should go." Angel's hand was on my back comfortingly.

I pulled back from the hug and leaned back into the ratty old couch.

"Call us any time, honey. We're always here for you." Angel said, pulling me into a quick hug before moving to her feet. Collins did the same and the two left, leaving me sitting alone on the couch.

I wasn't really sure why I was there at the loft. I needed somewhere comfortable and familiar and this was the only place my mind could come up with.

"You still drink tea, right?' I heard Mark call from the kitchen.

I stood and walked to the kitchen, my head tilted to one side. Mark was standing over the stove, boiling water.

"What?" I asked, taking a seat at the table.

"When you're upset, you usually drink tea, right? Something about the steam helping your voice?"

I smiled despite myself as he set a chipped mug full of weak green tea in front of me.

"See, this is why we're friends, Mark." I said before sipping my tea.

"Because I make you things when you're upset?" Mark asked nervously. I laughed to myself. After all this time he still seemed so hung up on me.

"No, because you know me so well." I curled one of my legs underneath my body and closed my eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I heard him whisper gently.

I opened my eyes slowly to find his blue ones burning two holes into the kitchen table.

"She doesn't get me, that's all there is. I can't be with someone that doesn't get me. It's easier that way. She and I just don't fit."

I knew deep down that I was lying to him. Hell, I was lying to myself. But as long as Mark was there for me to focus on, I didn't have to think about Joanne.

"But you seemed so in love." Mark said, looking up at me.

"Shit happens." I said with a shrug, taking a gulp of my tea.

"You can't just fall out of love with someone. It doesn't work like that." Mark sad softly, adjusting his glasses.

"Well, you know me. I'll do anything to be different." I said with a small smile. He laughed lightly and finished his tea.

"Are you done?" He asked, moving to his feet. I nodded and handed him my cup as he walked by me to the sink.

I watched him as he rinsed out both cups, putting my elbow on the table and resting my chin in my hand. He turned slowly and smiled at me.

"Mark, I'm really glad we're still friends."

I could hear my voice cracking slightly. I wasn't sure why I was suddenly so emotional. Maybe it was because I was to tired to keep fighting my sadness. Maybe I was finally letting myself miss Joanne.

"Come on, let's go sit in the livingroom. You look like you're starting to think again, and that's never good." Mark said, taking my hand and pulling me to my feet.

"Fuck you, Mark. I'm smart and you know it." I said, pulling my hand from his and walking off to the livingroom.

I dropped onto the couch and looked up at Mark, who was standing in front of me.

"You wanna grab your camera, don't you?" I asked with a small laugh. He looked down shyly and blushed.

"I won't if you don't want me to." He said raising his eyes to mine again.

"Go for it, Mark. It doesn't matter to me." I said with a grin.

Anything to keep Mark's attention on me and my mind off my problems. Mark ran off to his bedroom to get his camera while I fixed my hair. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, pushing away all of my real emotions. I made myself feel happy.

It felt like the last year of my life had been nothing but hurt. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I was tired of being hurt.

"And here we have the beautiful Maureen Johnson, who seems sad after her recent break up with her girlfriend, Joanne Jefferson, only hours ago."

I opened my eyes to see mark standing on the other side of the loft, his camera rolling. I rolled my eyes.

"Let's not talk about Joanne." I said, giving Mark my best puppy dog eyes.

"You're beautiful." Mark whispered. I felt myself begin to blush, but I pushed it away. It had been a long time since someone called me beautiful.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have." He said, stopping the camera.

"No, don't be sorry. It's been a long time since anyone's called me beautiful." I said as he dropped onto the couch and set his camera on the floor.

"Well you are." He said, moving closer to me slowly.

I don't know what I was thinking when I let him kiss me. I was hurting and I needed to know that somebody still loved me.

I felt his hand touch my cheek and snake around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. My hands found his chest and I pushed him away. He wasn't Joanne.

"I'm sorry, I can't." I whispered, fighting back tears.

"Maureen, I..."

"Don't, Mark. Just...don't, okay? I'm sorry. This was a mistake." I said, jumping to my feet.

"No, it wasn't. It isn't. We aren't a mistake, Maureen. We fit." Mark pleaded, grabbing my arm.

My green eyes met his blue ones, each swimming with their own tears.

"I'm sorry." I pulled my arm out of his grip and almost sprinted to the door, slamming it behind me.

I couldn't breath again. The world was slowly crashing around me. I was getting dizzy. Leaning back against the door I closed my eyes and fought to keep conscious. My breathe was coming out in short gasps, my lungs unable to fill completely.

"Maureen?"

'Fuck!' I thought to myself, opening my eyes slowly.

Benny was standing in front of me, a look of concern on his face.

"What the fuck to you want?" I asked harshly, pushing myself off the door and heading down the stairs.

Benny only hesitated for a second before following e.

"Are you okay?" He asked calmly. I didn't like that he could be so calm while I was freaking out.

"Do I look okay?" I asked, turning on the step I was standing on to glare up at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, moving down a step so that we could stand face to face.

"And why the hell would I want to talk to you?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and tilting my head to the side, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Because as much as you hate to admit it, we used to be friends. Really good friends. Back when life was easier." He said with a small, sad smile.

"Life was never easy." I turned and continued down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Benny still followed me.

"Maureen, don't be that way. Come on, talk to me." Benny begged, running after me.

"I don't like you, Benny. Even when we were living together, I didn't like you. I thought you were an arrogant bastard. I still do." I said, not turning to look at him.

Benny and I were never really good friends. We just kind of co-existed.

"We're more alike than you think we are." He said softly. I was expecting him to be smug, almost mocking me when I turned to glare at him. But he wasn't. His eyes were full of concern.

"How?" I asked, looking down at the stairs for a second.

"We both do what we think is right, even though it's usually wrong. We act like we don't give a damn when really we do. And our pride almost always gets the best of us."

I laughed lightly. He had a point.

"Joanne and I broke up." I said, holding his gaze. His smile faded slowly.

"What happened?" He asked sympathetically.

"Some things just aren't meant to be." I answered with a shrug.

"But you two seemed so in love at Christmas." Benny said, walking down the stairs next to me.

"That was a long time ago. Feels like a lifetime." I avoided his eyes.

"Your old apartment is free if you need a place to stay. I can even spot you the first months rent if you need it." Benny said, looking down at me. He wasn't such a jackass.

"What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be at home with Muffy?" I asked, smiling up at him.

"She's mad at me. So I came back to apologize to Roger and Mimi. I've been a real bastard to them lately." He said, looking up at the loft.

"Don't bother. Roger will probably just kick your ass." I said with a laugh.

"I say shit and I don't think about it, ya know? Sometimes I open my mouth and the stupidest things come out." Benny said, leading me down the next set of stairs to my old apartment.

"I know. I'm the same way. Gets us in trouble a lot." I said as he pulled the door open.

"I can give you the first months rent. I have to get to the bank." I said as I followed him into the apartment, my arms crossed over my chest to fight away the chill. It was cold in there.

"I can get the heat turned on for you tomorrow. There isn't much I can do tonight." Benny said apologetically. I turned and looked at him, nodding slowly.

"It's fine. I'm just glad I've got a place. Now I can get my stuff out of her apartment." I choked on my tears, breaking eye contact to look at the floor.

"Maureen..."

"I know that you and me haven't always gotten along. Hell, we still don't get along. But you've always taken care of me, of us. I just want to thank you. You're not as much of a jackass as we all thought you were." I said with a teary smile.

"Hey, we're still family, even if we don't like each other. There's always that one family member that everyone hates, but they put up with him anyway. I'm just glad I have a role in here." Benny said, flashing me a smile.

We stood in silence for a few seconds, fighting to see each other in the darkening apartment.

"Maureen, are you going to be okay?" He asked finally, taking a step closer to me.

"Are you kidding?" I asked, grinning up at him. He just looked at me.

"I'm Maureen Johnson. Of course I'll be okay."

He nodded, opening his arms and then deciding against the hug he was about to give me.

"Call me if you need anything." He said, walking backwards towards the door.

"I'm fine, really. But thanks. For everything." He smiled at me again and then he was gone.

Silence hung over the apartment for a full three minutes before I moved. I took two forceful breaths and made my way to the bedroom, my eyes on the floor. When I finally reached my bedroom door I stood there, just staring at the "bed", which was just a ratty mattress on the floor.

Deciding that I was going to need sleep if I was going to make it through the next few weeks I dropped onto the bed and curled up around the only pillow I had.

I cried myself to sleep; silent, body shaking sobs that never seemed to end.

Sleeping alone was never fun.