Good day, ladies and gentlemen. Jeeves here with another installment of Ramblings. No, it is not my contest winner chapter… my sincerest apologies to the winner of my contest, but I seem to have lost my notes for that particular fic, and my mind as well. Wooster wishes to inform you all that she has another Ramble that she wouldn't post until I posted this. So meh.

As you may know if you have read the end of Auld Lang Syne (if you haven't read it, go do so IMMEDIATELY), Wooster spent a month at a fine arts summer camp, leaving me home alone. She has only just returned and is sleeping it off. However, as was also mentioned in the A/N of Auld Lang Syne, I have a rather interesting summer volunteer job at the local academic medical center.

I'm volunteering with the Director of Surgical Pathology, doing wonderful things like assisting with data entry for research for an academic paper; filing slides, tissue blocks, and papers; and assorted other gopher-type tasks.

I'm also learning quite a lot. It would be potentially of interest to know that if you Google "Department of Diagnostic Medicine", other than sites devoted to House you will turn up mostly websites for pathology departments. The type of medicine House practices, as much fun and entertainment as it is for us fans, does not exist in the real world. A medical diagnosis comes from a large and varied team of many doctors in many departments, not merely four doctors who can somehow perform every test. In the real world, the Pathology department would perform a vital role in many of the diagnoses that House makes.

But House still makes for damn good TV.

Anyway, enough of my soapbox for today. This ramble is a love song to my job. More accurately, it is an account of some of the things that happen to me when I am working on my spreadsheet and people come looking for my boss, who has a tendency to disappear, written in verse somewhere stylistically between a beat poet and Shel Silverstein.

The Doctor is Not In

Um, he's not here right now.

No, I don't know where he went.

No, I don't know when he will be back. It could be ten minutes, it could be two hours. I wouldn't advise waiting.

Oh, so you want to wait? Well, you can sit there, I guess.

You say you have to get back to your work? Well, I can tell him you came by. He might page you.

(he probably won't)

I don't think I can sign for that package, I'm just a volunteer.

I'm not even sure if that person works in this department…

There's someone over there that can- Wait, you say you'll just leave it there?

OK.

You say you'll come back later and see it he's back?

OK, but you might want to take a number or something because I'm sure there will be a line of people waiting to talk to him.

He's a very popular person.

Ok, so a story update:

I've Got a Bad Feeling About This and Auld Lang Syne are finished. Go read them now!

You Pyg, our pride and joy, is in progress. You should definitely read it!

We're seeking a House fanfic community that will let us post Jukebox, since ffn is so stingy about songfic… any suggestions?

Exploitation, Wooster's Harry Potter story is now located on I think that's the site…

For all of our readers who happen to be Phantom Phans, I have a phanphic in its very early stages…

Stay tuned for more from jeevesandwooster!

Oh, and a special thank you to the wonderful Ethan Poe, who was beta-ing this chappie while I was Wooster-less.

Wooster here! Tired but raring to write. Fine Arts camp was full of nutsos to inspire me, so be prepared for my upcoming ramble…"House-coming".