Introduction
How do you know if you¹re a candidate? You've already got a leg up by reading this book right now. You may suffer from feelings of inferiority, frustration, desperation, hopelessness, self-pity, grief, and maybe even anger. On the other hand, you might simply be heartbroken, or maybe you just broke a nail, or there's no hot water in the shower.
Regardless, we'll assume that you are generally miserable and quite possibly have come to some sort of realization that you have no one to turn to and nowhere to turn. Bingo! Read on.
From what to wear to how to do it (and everything in between), this is the all-inclusive guide to doing it right (on first attempt). If you're really ready to check out, this tome (a tome is a scholarly work, not the crypt type) will serve as your guide from initial contemplation all the way to final termination.
No matter how awful things may seem to you right now, do keep in mind that things may get better, which means that if you go through with this you might miss out.
However, if you're completely determined, we strongly recommend that you finish reading this book (no skimming). If you remain committed after reading this cover to cover, (and you may be committed if you mess up i.e. state institution), then a trip for a psychiatric evaluation is surely in order. Whatever you do, take your time, since this may be one of the most important decisions of your life.
Lastly, please keep this book away from children and the mentally ill, and, in the event that you do decide to go, the authors would greatly appreciate it if you did not bring this book along with you (or keep it anywhere near you, or leave it anywhere where the authorities might find it) unless this book will be completely destroyed with you.