People and things to die for.
Circle all that apply (but DO NOT check all and then go out and load the gun).
LOVER
PROBLEMS
Unfaithful
Lousy
Possessed
Unavailable
PET
PROBLEMS
Unfaithful
Lousy
Possessed
Carpet
(damp)
CHILDREN
PROBLEMS
Lousy
Possessed
Illegitimate
Screaming
BREAKDOWNS
Societal
Nervous
Automobile
Mental
Physical
NO
PROBLEMS
No life
No money
No
girlfriend/boyfriend
No marketable skill
No hope
No A/C
No
T.V.
No IQ
No
T.P.
THREE-LETTERED
DUI
PMS
IRS
REM
HRS
PDF
DEA
TWO-LETTERED
B.O.
VD
BS
ID
(fake, discovered)
VARIOUS
COLLAPSES
Financial
Physical
Lung (left or
right)
House or Building
Bridge Level (above you)
Dam
Stock
Market
Highway
PHYSICAL
PROBLEMS
Chronic
cellulite
Acne
Boils
Brain
Hangnails
Hemorrhoids
Warts
(including hairy)
Incontinence (khakis)
Ingrown
toenails
Indigestion
Constipation
Diarrhea (in
public)
Broken nail(s)
Gas (internal)
Gas
(external)
Pink eye
Red eye
Lip
blisters
Breasts too large
Breasts too small
No
breasts
Underweight/Overweight
Overweight (next
seat)
Homely
Smelly (general/specific)
MISCELLANEOUS
Pressed
meat products
Tight shoes
Toilet overflow
Jail
sentence
(and the inmates like
you)
Jail sentence
(
and the inmates don't)
Employment
Unemployment
Filthy
public restrooms
Spam (email or canned)
PEOPLE
Parent(s)
Friends
(or lack of)
Neighbor(s)
Teacher(s)
Student(s)
Attorney(s)
Boss
(or supervisor)
Car Salesmen
Dentist
Employees (one or
all)
Neighbors (one or all)
Stockbroker
Yacht broker
Entire
Brokerage House
Committee (any)
Parole officer
Collections
Agent
Bail Bondsman IN-LAW
PROBLEMS
Visiting
Moving in
Never
leave
BAD PROBLEMS
Bad
clams
Bad dates
PHOBIAS AND
FEARS
Acrophobia
Claustrophobia
Hydrophobia
Agoraphobia
SITUATIONS/CONDITIONS
Marriage/Divorce
Blind
date
(is your sister or
brother)
Blind date
(is
aunt, uncle, grandparent)
Alimony
Child
Support
Bankruptcy
Recession
Depression
Failed
exam
Failed in life
Celibacy (involuntary)
Traffic
jam
LOST
THINGS
Tan
Mind
Job
Keys
Remote
Feeling
(any extremity)
Love
YUCKY
THINGS
Spiders
Snakes
Vermin
Worms
Certain
people
Diapers (full)
Boogers (under counters)
LEAKY
THINGS
Pens
Ceiling
Diaper
Faucet
Tire(s)
Radiator
Depends
If
none of the above apply, or you have more, WRITE IN
below:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Use another piece of paper if necessary.