Authors note: I know it's been awhile since I updated this story, I'm sorry. It's such a sad story I depressed even myself and had to set it aside for a while. Based on the last chapters response, I guess quite a few of you got too depressed to keep reading as well. I hate to say it but it's not going to be a happy story anytime soon. For those of you still hanging in there, here's a box of Kleenex and a big Thank You.

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Chapter 5: Back to Lawrence.

The phone rang a few times when it was picked up by a strangely familiar voice.

"Missouri Mosley may I help you?" the voice asked. Sam held the phone up to his ear but for some reason stayed silent as his mind raced to remember where he recognized the voice in his distant memory.

"Hello?" the voice asked again in a slightly more agitated manner. Sam's heart was beating a mile a minute. He was about to hang up when she started talking again.

"Sam Winchester if you don't start talking, I'm gonna hang up right now." she said thoroughly agitated now.

"How did you know my name?" he asked stammering, his heart skipping a beat.

"I've been expecting your call since the other day child. Dr. Katchen called me as well and told me to expect to hear from you." Missouri answered her voice now softening. Sam let out a loud sigh of relief.

"Oh, you scared me. I thought maybe you were psychic or something." He said smiling to himself not knowing that she really was.

"I am child." She answered then quickly added "Now don't go hanging up on me child. You need answers. Your daddy was a good friend of mine but I'm sure you don't remember me. He used to bring you and your brother around when you were just little boys."

The mention of his brother just made Sam sad again. Then suddenly he had a memory of sitting on a porch stoop, he and Dean covered in a cherry and grape popsicle mess, begging their father for just one more. It was a happy memory, one of only a few Sam had as a child that didn't involve hunting.

'Why am I suddenly remembering eating popsicles with Dean?' He thought to himself sadly, feeling a twinge of pain in his chest.

"Because you miss your brother Sam." Missouri answered his question, picking up on his thoughts.

"Oh my god, I thought you were just joking about being a psychic." He said realizing what she had just done.

"I wasn't and I am. You father and I go way back to when your momma died. It's because I am a psychic that we met. Your father needed answers and I was able to help him." she explained further.

"You know about my mother?" Sam asked. Right then Sam knew he could trust her. That was not the sort of information his father would have told to just anyone. If his father trusted her all those years ago then he knew he could trust her now.

"You were just a baby the night your father showed up at my doorstep. Dean, he was just a little bundle of energy, into all my stuff but the minute I came anywhere near you he jumped in right between us. I'll never forget the look on his face, such determination. Such the little protector. He never let you out of his sight the whole time and every other time you came for a visit. I don't think he ever really trusted me back then." She continued as she reminisced with a smile on her face. Yes, she remembered Dean being a force to be reckoned with even back then.

"My brother is dead, you know." Sam said his voice barely a whisper. As he spoke his one wish was that what he said was a lie, a huge horrible mistake. His heart broke further when he heard her confirmation of his worst fear.

"I know child." She spoke and then listened as Sam began to softly cry on the other end of the phone. Her own heart began to break at the sound of his anguish. She let him have a moment to compose himself, before speaking again.

"Sammy you need to come home, you need to come home immediately. The answers to all your questions are here." She said gently. Sam didn't answer but he did nod to himself. That was all the answer Missouri needed.

"I've already called the airline and found out that you can reroute your return flight through Kansas City, and it comes in at 12:15 this afternoon. When you get there, there will be a rental car waiting for you at the Alamo counter in your name. Don't worry about paying; it's already taken care of. Call me when you get in and I will give you directions the rest of the way to my house." She spoke not giving him a chance to change his mind.

"Miss Mosley, I don't know, I can't let you pay…" he started to say. One part of him was grateful for her generosity but the other part of him was embarrassed that someone else had to help him out again.

"Don't be an idiot Sam Winchester. This is a family matter, and trust me I am a member of your family whether you remember me or not. Besides if you're still adamant about paying me back we can make arrangements when you get here. Also if you insist on calling me Miss Mosley I'm gonna reach through this phone and throttle you." She said with gentle teasing. Sam immediately relaxed.

"Yes ma'am." he said falling back on his upbringing. Missouri sighed to herself.

'Damn child, stubborn just like his father and his brother.'

"Now call me as soon as you land child, I'll be waiting to hear from you." She spoke getting ready to hang up.

"Thank you, you don't know what this means to me." Sam stammered before hanging up himself.

'Yes I do.' Missouri thought to herself when she knew he had hung up.

Sam's flight was delayed about 45 minutes so when he got to the rental counter he was already frazzled. Combined with the trepidation about meeting the woman who could answer that one final terrible question, he almost forgot to call Missouri when he landed. After a quick phone call, she gave him the final directions and he got into the rental car and headed to Lawrence. He was okay until he saw the sign welcoming him to Lawrence Kansas, then he suddenly had to pull over. His heart racing a mile a minute he thought he was going to pass out.

'Damn it Sammy you didn't come all this way just to chicken out.' He cursed himself. Steadying himself he got back on the road and soon pulled up in front of Missouri's home. For a moment he almost didn't stop, fear over wehlming him again. Finally he parked the car and just sat there looking at the house. Stilling his shaking body, he got out of the car, grabbed his suit case, and headed up the sidewalk. As he approached the front door it flew open and Missouri stood in her doorway with a big smile on her face.

"Sam Winchester, it's about time." She called out as he came up her steps. Sammy looked at her face but still couldn't quite place the piercing eyes that stared back at him.

"Hi, you must be Missouri." he gasped as she pulled him into a big hug.

'Don't worry child it will come back to you in time.' She thought to herself as soon as she saw his expression. Letting go she stepped aside and beckoned Sam into her home.

"Yes I am, child now come on inside, you must be exhausted. I have your room already all set up for you upstairs. If you follow me, I'll let you take drop your stuff up there." She felt the waves of emotions rolling off of him as he stepped through her doorway. Taking a quick look around, he followed her to the bedroom at the top of the stairs.

"It's only a double bed. I didn't figure you to be so tall." She said looking up at him as he put down his things. "Seems like only yesterday, you and you brother used to sleep in that bed."

Sam turned and gave her a surprised look and then looked around the room again. Somehow it was vaguely familiar to him but he just couldn't place it yet.

"When you boys were little, your Dad would leave you with me some times. One time, when he was just starting out, I was adamant that he didn't take you boys with him on a particularlydangerous hunt. It was one of the few times he and I ever disagreed about something. Damn stubborn man thinking he could drag 2 little babies while he chased after a shapeshifter." She shook her head at the memory.

"I wish I remembered you. I'm sorry but I don't." He looked over at her with sad eyes. Clearly someone who spent that much time looking after him should have been remembered.

"Honey you were three years old the last time I saw you. I doubt most children would remember someone they last saw 20 yrs ago." She said as she place her hand on his arm, reassuring him. "If it makes you feel any better, your brother didn't remember me either when he came here, oh my god, almost 4 yrs ago."

"Dean was here, why did Dean come here?" Sam asked surprised that his brother had come back to Lawrence.

"There was a problem in your old house. The one you were all living in when your mother died. Dean had had a dream about it. He knew something terrible was about to happen there. He showed up on my door step looking for answers just like you." She sat down on the edge of the bed and Sam sat down next to her as she spoke.

"What do you mean he had a dream?" Sam asked confused. Dean had never been the one to have bad dreams or nightmares. Those had always bothered Sam when he was growing up. Dean had always been the one who stayed up with Sam and helped him get back to sleep afterwards. Memories of Dean rubbing Sam's shoulders and back, or rocking him when he was really little came back to Sam as he sat there.

"It was more like a vision than a dream. Your old housebecome a magnet for the supernatural including a really nasty poltergeist. If Dean hadn't showed up when he did, I doubt that woman and her two children wouldbe alive today." Missouri explained watching Sam's expression. Sam looked amazed as he listened to the story about his brother saving someone else's life. To Sam, Dean had always been a hero. It was nice to hear that some else thought so too.

"He was able to save them eh? That sounds just like Dean." he looked over at Missouri sitting next to him.

"There was another spirit in the house as well. This one saved your brother when the poltergeist attacked him." Missouri spoke carefully. She knew Sam didn't have a clear memory of his mother and she wasn't sure how he would react to her ghost saving his brothers life.

"Another spirit, but this one wasn't evil?" he asked nervously. Clearly his brother had made it out alive, but the thought that Dean had been up against a poltergeist as well as some unknown ghost alone scared him.

"No child she wasn't evil. It was your mother's spirit." She felt Sam's body go rigid at the news.

"Mom? She was still in the house? Is she still there, is there a way I can talk to her?" he asked excited at the prospect of speaking to his mother.

"No Sam I'm sorry. She destroyed herself against the poltergeist saving your brother." She felt Sam's hope fall away as she spoke and he sagged down on the bed once again. Missouri reached over and laid her hand over his hand to comfort him.

"I wish for the world that you could talk to your mother honey, truly I do. Even Dean barely had a chance to see her, it was all over with so quickly, butI promise you your mother is at peace now."

Sam nodded and sat silent for a moment.

"Is it true that Dean is buried next to my mother?" he asked suddenly changing the subject.

"There is a marker with your brother's name on it next to your mothers, yes." Missouri spoke slowly not wanting to give away too much information just yet. "Your father did what he had to do with his body but it does not rest in that grave." Startled, Sammy turned at looked at her with anguished eyes.

"What do you mean his body is not in that grave? Where the hell did Dad bury him?" Missouri stood up and didn't answer him.

"Missouri, what the hell happened to my brother?" Sam jumped up and grabbed her arm. Missouri stopped but couldn't face him.

"Your father told you what happened to him." she said as she looked away.

"My father only told me that he killed him. How the hell is that possible Missouri? How the hell did my father kill my brother? Please you have to tell me." Sam stood up in front of her, and wouldn't let her look away. "He was lying right? There's no way my father killed Dean, I bet my life on it."

Sam was begging. He needed the truth. He needed to know what really happened to his brother. Missouri's silence was deafening. He stepped back and started to shake.

"No Missouri, nooooo. Dad, oh god…….Dean……." he fell on the floor and started to sob.

Missouri sat back down on the bed over him and began to stroke his hair. His body shook as he wrapped his arms around his legs and cried. She waited until he began to calm down and then began to tell him the truth.

Tbc

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Authors note: Once again thanks for hanging in there. It's not my intent to torture you all by dragging this story out. Hopefully I will have it wrapped up in the next chapter or two. Leaves cookies and milk for the reviewers.