AUTHOR'S NOTE: Once again, another short chapter.
Chapter 7
Oh God, thought Cal, as he rubbed his head. Not now.
It was now the first week of September. Things were getting harder for Cal. His flashbacks were getting worse and there were times when they kept him up at all hours of the night, or caused him to wake up drenched in sweat. And now, in the middle of enjoying his dinner, a wave of flashbacks hit him without warning. They were so terrible, they were giving him a headache.
I need to get out, he thought to himself. I need a distraction. Anything!
Amid his flashbacks, he heard someone across the table from him. It was Rose. He needed her.
"Rose!" he exclaimed across the table, startling Rose. Cal never talked at the table, and Rose was the same way.
"Yes?" she said, tentatively.
"Let's sing a song!" he shouted.
"What!" Rose just stared at Cal for a minute. Was he crazy? she asked herself. She wasn't used to this kind of behavior from him.
Cal stopped and took a breath. "Why don't you sing a song for me, Rose? I want to hear you sing." Cal was suddenly reminded of Rose's beautiful singing voice. He wondered if she still had it.
"Okay," said Rose, hesitating.
"Sing that song," said Cal, thinking of the song. "Sing . . . She Moved Through the Fair. Please, let me hear you sing it."
Rose nodded calmly, even though inside she was shaking. She couldn't remember the last time she sung a song. Her voice was still a little weak. But if Cal asked for it . . .
She thought of the words to the song for a minute, and then began in a small, shaky, but sweet voice. "My young love said to me, "My mother won't mind . . . "
Cal watched her, listening to her rich, clear soothing voice. He never cared for her voice before, but now it helped him, and he listened to her voice. It was beautiful and pleasant. Slowly, his flashbacks melted away, and his mind was now beginning to relax.
Finally Rose finished the last words to the song, and then took a deep breath of relief. She looked across the table to see Cal looking at her with an enchanted look on his face. He was smiling.
"That was beautiful," he said. "Perfect." He went back to eating.
"May I be excused?" asked Rose. "I feel very tired suddenly."
He nodded. "Good night, sweet pea."
When Rose stood up from the kitchen table, he frowned at the look of her. She was now entering her sixth month of pregnancy and her middle was now plump, showing the body of one with a baby growing inside of her.
Rose was something else he was trying to get over. In three months, he was going to be the father of a child that he wasn't responsible for bringing into the world. And worst of all, he found himself not wanting the child at all. He wasn't willing to be a father to the child, knowing how it came about.
But he only sighed when the thought came to him. He had to live with it, even if he wasn't willing to do so. He made a sacrifice for Rose. And he made a life sentence for himself, and it was too late to get out of it.
XXXXXX
So far, Rose was improving. She still experienced her bouts with depression, and she was still very sick and weak. But she was much better. She was eating regularly again, even if she did have to force herself sometimes. She was sleeping again, but that was only because she was very tired most of the time, due to the pregnancy. She took care of herself a little more, and she was beginning to look a little better.
She was supposed to be happy here. But she was only scared and screaming inside, and she had mixed feelings about her baby. In the beginning, she was scared of Cal. He caught her and she was trapped in a marriage she didn't want to be in anyway. She knew she couldn't spend her life with this controlling, abusive man. He wouldn't understand her. He never did; she kept her flashbacks to herself.
She kept the pregnancy to herself at first. The baby: it ruined her plans. She was planning on leaving, running away one night, and never coming back. She knew it would be hard on her own, but she was determined to make it. Cal was right that July night–she never did a single useful thing in her life, and she would end up living a very hard life. And Jack would probably find that out too. But she was ready to learn in the real world, she was determined to make it some day. But then the baby came about. She wouldn't be able to take care of it on her own, if she ran away. So, she decided to stay once Cal told her she could keep her baby. She wanted to make sure the baby had a good life in a comfortable home, never having to worry about food, clothes, or a doctor when it was sick. The only bad thing about living here, was that the baby would grow up knowing nothing about where it really came from.
But Rose only sighed at the thought of that. She loved Jack. She knew he loved her, even if he never told her. He showed her in a hundred ways. The child that was growing inside of her womb was the only thing she had left of him. She had to keep it, and take good care of it. And sometimes you had to make sacrifices for the one you loved and cared for. And sometimes, you had to protect them too, even if it meant keeping them ignorant from the truth.