Chapter 9.

October 12, 1912

Rose was sitting in front of her dressing table that morning, lost in thoughts. Her hands were on her growing stomach, thinking of the little person growing inside of her. In just two more months, she would be the mother to a small little creature, something that was created from pure love. She didn't plan for it to happen; she didn't know it would happen. But she was still glad it was here. She wanted this child, regardless of where it came from.

Last month, her mother asked her to explain why she wanted the child. To Ruth, the child came from sin. Rose was supposed to be ashamed for carrying a child like that.

Rose thought about what her mother said. How could she hate the child? True, the child wasn't created in the most proper way. True, the child did destroy her plans. But could she hate it for those reasons? Of course not, what mother could ever do that, without feeling terrible? The child that was inside Rose's womb was completely innocent. The baby didn't do anything. It didn't ask to be created. Jack and Rose made a choice to consummate their love. They could have decided not to touch each other. But they didn't. And in that process, they created another human being. It was an innocent human being that knew nothing about the problems it would go through. And this little person did absolutely nothing, except grow when nature told it to do so.

So, Rose concluded that she couldn't hate the child, no matter where it came from or how it came about, or what problems it would cause. She could only blame herself for bringing forth those problems. The baby did nothing. It was Jack and Rose that did it. She didn't regret what she did with Jack, and promised herself she'll never regret it. But she did wish things ended differently.

She wondered for the hundredth time about what could have been her life if Jack had survived. Would they be married? Where would they live? How would Jack react to Rose's baby? Would he be happy? And most of all, would they still love each other?

She asked those questions almost every day. She wanted Jack alive again, just to answer those questions.

And then, there was Cal. She knew her future. She was going to spend the rest of her life with Cal. She didn't want to, but she felt she had to, for her baby's sake. If she ran away, the baby might face a life of starvation, malnutrition, illness. She just couldn't do that. She couldn't watch her baby live a harsh life, just because she wanted to run away.

There was more about Cal too. She noticed something in him. He was different. He seemed . . . broken. She didn't know what to expect from him anymore. She was surprised when he comforted her, when she had the breakdown, and even more surprised when he said she could keep the baby. The old Caledon Hockley would have never done that. Maybe there was more to him than Rose thought.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her bedroom door opened and Marta came into the room.

"Ms. Christine Ashley is downstairs to see you," said Marta in her stiff voice.

"Thank you," said Rose, as she looked at herself in the mirror for one last time. She was looking much better now, with her red hair taken care of, her eyes showing character again, her skin less pale. Satisfied with her looks, she stood up awkwardly, and, with Marta's help, walked downstairs to meet an old friend.

XXXXXX

Christine and Rose used to be close friends. They attended the same finishing school together, and they shared a lot in common. They always had an understanding for each other.

Christine was a year older than Rose. She was nineteen, and was married for a year to Spencer Ashley, a man who worked with Cal. She just gave birth to her first child, a son named Julius. And she was desperate to show her old friend her new baby. She wanted to see Rose, since so many changes had happened between the two girls.

As Rose walked downstairs, seeing Christine sitting on the couch, she smiled to herself. It was as if time did nothing to her old friend. Christine was still the same girl she was before. She wasn't especially beautiful but the way she carried herself, and her personality made her look much prettier than she really was. She had crystal blue eyes. Her eyes seemed to hold a great deal of wisdom. Her hair was straight, thin and almost gold, and when you took it out of the pins, her hair would fall down to her legs like a great waterfall. The only thing that changed was that now, Christine held a baby in her arms.

When she saw Rose coming down the stairs, she smiled.

"Is that the baby?" asked Rose, coming into the living room.

Christine nodded. "Yes. And I see that's your baby too," she said, pointing at Rose's stomach.

Rose blushed, as she placed a hand on her belly.

"I heard that you were in "delicate condition" Rose," Christine laughed gently. "When will the baby come?"

"It won't be long, before it's time," said Rose as she sat down on the couch, kissing Christine on the cheek. "How old is he?"

"Four months."

"Can I hold him?"

Christine nodded as she handed the baby over to Rose, showing her how to hold the infant.

"He's lovely," Rose said almost to herself. As she looked at the jet black hair, and dark blue eyes on the little cherubic face, she idly wondered how her baby would look like.

"I'm sure you can't wait for your own little one," said Christine. "I know how you feel. I stayed sick for almost the entire time. I was close to going simply mad. Are you nervous, Rose?"

"A little."

"Good. There's nothing wrong with being a little nervous. Everyone goes through this. Oh! How you've changed."

"How?" asked Rose, humored. She loved how Christine changed the subject so quickly. She was always interesting to talk to.

"Remember the last time we talked? Before you went to Europe with Cal and your Mother? You didn't want to marry Cal at all. You were completely nervous. And now . . . here you are married to him, and seven months into the marriage, you're full of baby!"

"Oh . . . yeah," said Rose, nervously.

"What's wrong?" Christine softened, when she noticed the color in Rose's face go away.

"N-nothing," said Rose, trying to calm herself down. "I was just distracted."

Christine smiled. "I heard about everything," she began.

Rose's eyes widened. "How much do you know!" her mind wandered somewhere else.

"About the whole disaster. Everyone knows about it by now. It was all over the newspapers."

"The Titanic? The Titanic!" Rose sighed loudly.

"Of course the Titanic," said Christine. "What else would I be talking about? "

"Did you hear what happened on the Titanic?" asked Rose, still worried, without a logical reason. Surely, no one would know about it.

"Of course. It sank! What else could have happened to it?"

"Nothing," said Rose, looking away. "I'm just . . . I don't like talking about it."

Christine's eyes showed sympathy. "I know it was a terrible . . . "

"The worst experience in my life," said Rose. She began to shudder. What began as flashbacks, ended as a moment of mourning for Jack.

Christine grabbed Rose's hand. She didn't know what to say for her troubled friend. She watched as a tear fell from Rose's eye. Rose wiped it away before it fell down her cheek.

"I'm sure . . . "Christine tried to find her words. "I'm sure things will get better soon. You can't live in that moment forever."

Yeah right, Rose thought sarcastically. I'm sure someday I'll forget everything. Even this child's father.

"And I'm sure Cal's going through a hard time himself," continued Christine. "He's helping you along the way with everything, I hope?"

Helping? thought Rose. He should be called a saint! He married me, even though I slept with another man during our engagement, he made sure I was well-taken care of in his home, he helped me when I had a breakdown in the middle of the hallway, even after I scratched his face, and not only did he allow me to keep the baby that doesn't belong to him, but he said nothing about it. How many people would do that?

"Yes, " Rose nodded finally. "Cal is helping me a lot during this time. I...I honestly don't know what I would have done without him." And Rose was being genuinely honest.

Christine smiled. "Good. Everything will get better again. I promise."

And I hope. Or wish.

Christine looked at Rose and noticed something. Christine always believed she had a sixth sense. She had a way of looking deep into a person, reading a person. And at that moment, she was sensing something in Rose. Something was troubling her. She felt that same feeling with Rose, at the time of Rose's engagement to Cal, and after Rose's father had died. She was feeling something again. She was hiding something. She was keeping a secret. And that was painful for Christine. Rose used to be her best friend. So why would she keep a secret from her?

But Christine only ignored the feeling as Rose began to talk again, putting on a fake smile, and talking happily about everything. There would be plenty of time to figure out what was hiding behind Rose's smile.

XXXXXXXXX

It was late that night, and Cal and Rose were already in bed. Cal was pretending to sleep. He spent his time thinking of Leila idly, trying to remember her face. He hadn't seen her since that September night, when they shared their first kiss together. He wondered when he could see her again.

Rose was still up reading a book. What book it was, Cal didn't know, nor care. Frankly, he hated how Rose would spend almost an hour in bed, reading. It was distracting and it seemed rather improper.

Rose wasn't concentrating on the book though. She was thinking of the proper time to say what she had been holding back all day, since Christine left. Finally she placed the book down slowly, and then . . . "Cal?"

Cal turned over to his wife. "Hm?"

Rose leaned over and kissed him on the forehead quickly. "Thank you," she said quickly and quietly. "Thank you for everything."

Cal didn't say anything right away. Finally he spoke. "Don't worry about it. Just remember what I said."

And at that, Rose slowly turned off her light and the couple fell asleep.