Written on September 19th 2003
Title : Winter Love Wings
Author : Leeloo Copeland
Rating : R (for mention of incest, violence, suicide . None of the actions are described they are just mentioned except for the suicide one)
Distribution : Ask first.
Disclaimer : I only own Leylya, the rest of the characters own themselves.
Author's Note : This was my first ever fiction in English.
Chapter 6 : Far From The Pain Leylya POV
+ A few months later +
It's been a few weeks I'm getting phone calls by Jay. Nothing else happened with Jeff. I'm not ready for anything. Vanessa and Rob are really happy together. I'm happy for her, she deserves to be happy. They are so cute together, and me, I'm all alone, and it's better like that. For now I feel like no one can understand me. Everybody is happy in their own little happy world and me I'm alone in my own little dark world. The only thing I want is to … DIE !
I stared blankly at the razor blade in my hands. What the hell am I doing? Thinking? My face showed dried tears mixed with mascara. This was going too far. When did it get this bad?
The stress was killing me. I had to keep up with such a life. Most girls my age would be partying, I wish I could do that now. But no, I was sitting in my room, thankfully…THANKFULLY alone. A sharp razor blade in my hand and a beer on the dresser next to me. Could I go through with it? It would only take one cut, one. It'd hurt for only a few seconds, then my body would be numb. What would it be to take on very last breath.
I walked to the stereo that was in my room and turned it on. The song was "Adam Song" by Blink 182.
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait 'til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months, I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait 'til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait 'til I get home
To pass the time in my room alone
When the song was over, I took the razor and looked it over and let out a breath. I took a long sip of mmy beer and wrote a note for my mom and friends.
Dear everyone,
I'm sorry to leave you but I can't handle my life anymore,
I've been through a lot this time and I'm done with this shits,
I'm done with my life. I'm sorry to leave you and probably
Hurt you but I'm sure you won't miss me that much.
Love you all.
XoXoX
Leylya
I took the blade and cut the soft skin of my inner wrist, the blood starts to run down my fingers on the ground. The world starts to fade in front of me, I'm dying finally. I won't be hurt or sad anymore, I'll be dree and far from all the pain. It's hard to breath, this is my time. I love you all and will watch over you. Those are my last words before I get numb and everything is faded.
The End.