Chapter 10

Family Status Doesn't Come Without Cost

Chaud took in a shaky breath and slid his back against the wall until he was on the floor. It was true, Proto had to be his brother, his older brother, so that was why his navi always seemed to be so guarded sometimes. Besides him it always took a few months for him to accept someone, give or take a few depending on the person. It had taken Proto six months to get use to Mega and it had taken Chaud three times that length to accept Lan as a friend, they were polar opposites.

For most of his life Chaud had raised in a closed environment, Lan's had been open and full of love, give or take a few lies. After his mother died and his dad separated him from the few friends he did have it had been hard to let people in, especially Lan, he was so happy all the time, at first that had been annoying but it had ended up growing on him. But he had no idea that Proto had the same problem, he always thought that he was so 'cool' because of his personality program. He didn't know there'd been an underlying reason. No wonder they were so much alike.

As Chaud looked into the broken glass he noticed that something else was trapped underneath it, a folded piece of paper; when he opened it he noticed that it was a birth certificate. "Emery Tristan Blaze," Chaud whispered a he looked at the name. Chaud looked down at the key that rested on the floor, taking it into his hands he took it over to the chest and looked through it's contents until he unearthed what looked like a dairy. It was baby blue and decorated with silver ribbons. Chaud took the key and placed it in the lock. When the cover of the book fell open he instantly recognized the handwriting, his mothers, when he ran his fingers across the words the journal began to speak to him. His mothers voice filled the air telling her story…

January 12, 2017

I'm pregnant, me, Catherine Blaze is pregnant; well sort of. I've been trying for two years and had remained disappointed, but now when I least expect it, I got one of the greatest oprotunties in the world. For years the medical field has been trying to perfect an artificial womb and finially one has been aprovred for use. Michael was able to pull some strings and got us to the top of the list; I feel a little guilty but I couldn't be more grateful. Hopefully this child will help my family and unlock my husband. Ever since Blaze Quest started to be a success he's disappeared, little by little my husband has become distant, burying himself in work. He says he's doing to for me, for us, for our family. That he doesn't want us to struggle. But I think he's being led astray, the company's taking first place and leaving me a distant second. He keeps reassuring me that he's doing what's best for us, but I have my doubts. I think he's loosing himself to the corporate world.

The entry ended there. Chaud stared at his mother's words on the page. He didn't know that his father had started to change so soon. Chaud looked at another entry, flipping the pages he picked one randomly.

February 29, 2017

It's a boy! Seeing the process was absolutely amazing, when the whole 'birds and bees' racket was completed the firtilized egg was placed in the artificial womb and has been growing ever since. It's an incredible sight to be able to see my child grow and change in all it's stages like on those posters that lined the walls in science class back in school. Now my baby is in it's first trimester and he's in perfect health. They say that he has a strong heartbeat, they call it strong and determined, so I guess he'll be a fighter. I've already picked a name. Emery. Emery Blaze. I don't have a middle name yet, I'll leave that to Michael. And I already know the name he'll pick. Tristan. It's always been his favorite Emery Tristan Blaze…

Chaud paused for a moment before he skimmed over some of the other pages, they were all normal enough: his mother fixing up the nursery, stuff like that. That was until there was another enrty, one filled with shocked excitement.

March 25, 2017

I'm pregnant. Pregnant. I still can't beleive it. When I first missed my cycle I thought it was just due to the excitement of Emery and preparing for his arrivial, but when I missed it a second time I got myself tested. And I'm pregnant; I still can't beleive it. Once Emery's born it won't be but three months untill the arivial of this little boy or girl. It'll be like having twins! And isn't that how it always happens? Doctors constantly told me to relax, that as soon as I wasn't thinking about trying to have a child I'd conceive. Well I can't say that they were wrong. When I told Michael I thought that his eyes were going to pop out of his head. He's already lookinig for nannies but I don't want one. I want to raise my own children. I don't want them to become attached to anyone else besides me. I hear how women have kids that call their nannies and babysitters "Mom", I don't see how they can be ok with that. Why have a child if you're not going to be around to raise it?

June 12, 2017

It's a boy; again. I went to the doctor today for my check up and he told me that I have another little boy in my future. I couldn't be more happy. Although to be honest I think I would like to have a girl someday. But I'm just so greatful. I was beginning to think that I would never have any children that were of my blood but now I'm going to be blessed with two little boys that are going to grow up together side by side. If anything every happens to either Michael or me at least they'll have each other. I think I'm going to name him Chaud...

Chaud smilled as he read the entry. It was bittersweet, he wasn't sopose to have grown up alone. Things should have been so different. As he looked back down at the journel he turned through the pages until he found the two entries he was looking for.

September 30, 2017

Today was the day. Emery's birthday. It was all so odd. I always thought that the birth of my first child would be preceded by screaming and unbereable pain; but it was miraculous all the same. I was able to watch the doctors as they took him out it was all so simple; they just opened one of the hatches reached in cut open the sack and pulled him out. It all took less than 60 seconds and then I had him in my arms, a healthy, sreaming, baby boy. He's perfect, 10 fingers, 10 toes, georgous eyes, and oddly enough platinum blond hair that's so fair it's snow white with black streaks; a rarity in the family so he's already special. The only thing that put a damper on today was that Michael wasn't here, he had to go on a buisness trip that he said he just couldn't miss. What could be more improtant than to be there for the birth of you first child?

Januaruy 5, 2018

Today was the day. Again. It was all the pain and screaming and happiness that I thought it would be; but thankfully it was over very quickly. The doctors said that they've only seen a few births that were so expedient. If you ask me I think Chaud Nathaniel was just impatient and excited to meet his brother. I don't think that any child anywhere in the world kicked as much as he did; and it only got worse after Emery was born, it was like he could sense that there was another little person out there. Thankfully Micheal was able to be here this time, he even cut the cord. Chaud looks so much like him, jet black hair, and deep saphire blue eyes. I can't wait to get him home. I can't wait to introduce him to Emery.

Chaud read through a few more entries listening to his mother's voice explaining the joys and pains of freshman motherhood. Like not geting any sleep. At all. And all in thanks to her two little 'vocal bundles of screams' as she so lovingly called them. She even gave some seroius thought to maybe getting that nanny after all but ultimatly rejected the idea saying that if she could get through this she could get through anything. He contunied to skip through the pages until he came across one that wasn't as happy as the rest. This one was filled with concern instead.

April 29, 2018

Emery's sick. It was just the common cold but I took him the hospital anyway, and it's a good thing I did. Although Emery seemed to have been born complelty healthy it turns out that his being carried in an artificial womb left him with a weak immune system. The vitimins, nutriennts, and antibodies he was exposed to there weren't as good as what he would have gotten if I had acturally carried him. So I'll have to stock up on the vitamin C. The doctors say that a suppressed immune system isn't that bad a thing as long as he doesn't catch a severe virus or bacterial infection, if that happened his system would be so weak while he was recovering that if another infection came along he'd have nothing left to fend it off with. They also suggest that in the future if Chaud were to get sick that it would be best that I seperate the two until he would no longer be contageous. I haven't even bothered to tell this to Michael, he's become more distant than ever. I was for sure that a child would bring him back to me, but it seems that it's just pulling him away. He even seems to care more for Chaud than Emery, he acts as if he's broken.

Chaud turned about 20 more pages

October 2, 2018

I didn't think that it was possible but Michael's lost his mind. I could never have guessed that he's as far gone as he is. Ever since Emery was diagnosed with a supressed immune system he's been distant. Here and there, in and out like a flashlight that's batteries are low and is trying to stay on. When he came home today he asked of me the unspeakable, he wants to give Emery up for adoption. I asked if he were crazy, then he tried to explain his reasoning. Through all the fancy words and analogies it all came up to one thing: my husband is embarrassed by Emery, he feels as if he'll be a stain on what has become a respected name. That no one like him, a man in his position could be seen with a as he calls it; a handicaped child. He only seems to care about Chaud he consideres him perfect, as if Emery was just some lab experiment that went wrong. Michael's gotten so entangled with the company and all the false friends that've come with it. All with their views, and snobbish personalities, acting like they're better than everyone else. They've gotten to him. I know what's happened to my husband but I can only wonder will I ever see the simple, fun, loving and outgoing man I fell in love with again? What am I going to do? I'm not giving up Emery.

November 15, 2018

I set off with Emery today. Michael's made it clear that he doesn't want Emery for a son. Something that I still can't understand, but I'm not throwing away my child. I love my son so I devised a plan. It was this morning that Micheal gave me the papers that would nullify our parental rights. He had already signed his and left mine on the nightstand as if he expected me to do it without a second thought. That was all I needed of him, with he having thrown away his rights Emery is all mine and he isn't going anywhere.

I sent Micheal's papers to the lawyer this morning with a letter and considerable tip to ensure his scilence to the fact that I didn't sign mine and took Emery to our new home; a cozy house in a quiet suburb on the other side of the city. Michael is gone so often and so long that he'll never know a thing, and by the time he finds out that Emery wasn't given up it won't matter. He wouldn't dare push me because I'd have no quams in going to the papers. As far as my husband is concerned, Emery's gone, though a few key people know the truth. The only negative in this plan is that I have to leave Chaud at the mansion while I'm with Emery, and leave Emery with Anna, my bestfriend and most trusted employee when I'm home with Chaud. I want so much for them to be together but I can't take the chance that Chaud would say something to his father when he gets old enough to. Michael can't do anything about Emery but that doesn't mean he wouldn't cut me off from Chaud in retaliation. I'll just have to wait untill he's old enough to keep the secret.

Everyone wants me to leave Michael but I still have hope and faith that I can get him to turn around, and since he's not violent there's no danger in me staying. The only regret that I have is that Emery will probably grow up without a father. Not that he'd ever have much of one at the rate that Michael is slipping.

Chaud looked up from the diary, this was something hard to believe, that his father could truly have been so cold. He then continued to read through more of the pages, Emery's first steps, his first steps, Emery's first words, and his first words. He went on until he found some words that made him stop. Entries of joy turned to one of concern.

March 31, 2024

Michael's become suspicious, I don't know how he found out but he knows about the second house. For a second I thought that he knew about Emery too but it turns out he didn't. And since he has such great trust in me I was able to wriggle out of the situation. I told him that since he was always gone I had opened by own bakery so I'd have something else to do, so when he was gone I just lived there and gave the house staff time off. Which in it's self isn't a lie; I have opened a bakery.

It just hurts me so much that ever since the day Michael all but threw Emery away that he's never one spoken of him. It like he never existed to him. I still don't understand how he could have thought that Emery would be an embarrassment to him, he's been doing so well. He's managed not to get seriously sick, and he's so smart, he fixing to turn seven and he's at the top of his class. He asks about Chaud all the time, but surprisingly not his father.

Although he's never given any indication I think he knows that his father gave him up and that's one of the reasons that he's only seen Chaud a couple of times, because of the risk factor. The times that he has seen him was at the bakery when I took Chaud to work with me, and I introduced them. They got along fine, maybe too fine because when we were going home that day Chaud asked me about him, he wondered why they looked so much alike. Although that shouldn't surprise me, Chaud's sharp, he's just like his brother. I can probably tell him now, I think it's safe, and I want to, for his sake and Emery's. I don't want one to be without the other. I can see that it's hurting Emery that Chaud doesn't know who he really is.

Not to mention that this song and dance is getting complicated. Chaud asks me where I go when I spend time with Emery. I tell him that I have to stay near the bakery somethimes, that I have so many orders I just can't make the commute. That's satisfied him for now but it won't for long.

A long past and dormant memories came up in Chaud's mind, he remembered that…

Chaud turned a couple of more pages.

April 15, 2024

Emery's in trouble, he woke up this morning coughing, I wasn't very worried to start with, he's caught a cold before. But in no time Emery just got worse and worse, when fever hit 102 I rushed him to the hospital; it's the flu. After all the work I've done to protect him, he catches the flu. The doctors say not to worry, that his immune system is strong enough to handle the virus but that's not what I'm worried about. It's after, when his immune system will be weak, I'm afraid he'll catch something else.

May 5, 2024

The worse thing possible thing happened, pneumonia, after all the precautions the doctors took they lost control of the virus and it's turned into pneumonia.

They haven't said anything to me since the diagnosis, they don't want me to know that I'll probably lose him, but I already know I probably will. The flu made his body so weak there's no way he can come over this too. He's so listless that he hasn't spoken in days, he's almost in a coma. Sometimes I think that it wasn't meant for him to live, he's been hit with so many hurdles in his short life, and it seams like death is finally going to claim him... But there may be a shimmer of hope.

There's a child in room 229 by the name of Hub Hikari, he's been in the hospital for a few months with HBD, an illness with no known cure. It always hurts me to see a family when their child contracts an untreatable disease, but it's going to be harder on this family in more ways than one. First of all the father is a scientist, one of the best and one of the most well known and respected in Japan and maybe in the whole world, and second, the child has an identical twin brother. So when the family loses the first, the second will always be a reminder of what they lost. But this family isn't planning on going through such pain. I was walking down the hall when I heard the father talking with his wife, now I never eavesdrop but what I heard caught my attention.

He said that he had found a way to save their son's life. That he had created a device that would capture and protect his sons consciousness at the time of death, so when his body died he could transfer their son's mind into the net and create him a new body out of data from his DNA. He asked his wife if this was something that she would want to do. She replied that she didn't want to loose her son. When Mr. Hikari came out of the room I was still outside frozen in place, he could help Emery! I've never asked hardly anything from anyone but I was asking now, the only words I could get out of my mouth were 'help me'. That was when his wife came to the door to see what was going on, when I got a better grip I apologized and I told them that I didn't mean to listen in but that I couldn't help to overhear, and that I was going to lose my son.

It was then that Mrs. Hikari recognized me, she asked how long had Chaud been sick, and I told her that it wasn't Chaud that I was going to loose that it was my first son Emery. I told them the whole story, how Emery came into the world and how Michael had managed to keep my pregnancy out of the media due to its unconvential method, all the way until he wanted to give him up and how I'd outsmarted him. And then after everything I had been through to keep him I was going to loose him.

That did it, that, won Haruka's sympathy, after all she was going through the same thing. She turned to her husband and asked if they could help me, Dr. Hikari replied that it was her decision. Then she went back into the room and brought back a device and asked me to show her to my son's room. When we got there she took the device and placed it on the back of Emery's neck and then handed me a blank PET. I really had to ask her was it that simple. She replied to me that it was. That this was all that she or I had to do, that the device would take care of the rest. She said that if Emery's body shut down that his mind and consciousness would be sent into the net and the devise would read his DNA turning it into a data code and create a second body in the net to match the original. She said that she knew what I was going through and that she was glad that she was able to help. When she left the whole thing seemed like it had been a dream, serial. But as I bent down to kiss my son goodnight it all came back. I wasn't going to loose my son. He was going to have a second chance.

May 15, 2024

Emery died today, or at least that's what it says on his death certificate. I swear when I heard that sickening sound of that flat line I forgot about the gift I received from the Hikari's. I have to say when I heard Emery's voice coming over the PET two minutes later I was surprised for a second before it all came back. He was confused since the last thing he remembered was feeling lifeless and now all he was felling was energy. But I didn't have time to answer his questions then, the doctors and nurses came in to take care of the body.

It wasn't until I came home that night that I thought it might have been a mistake. Once I got home I connected the PET up to my husband's holographic generator, he uses it so he can talk personally to his navi's. When Emery materialized I told him what had happened, when he came for a hug he went right through me. When he looked back it seemed like it really hit him what had happened to him, he seemed scared, and then it hit me what I had done. I may have saved my son's life but I had just cut him off from the world, he couldn't touch me and I couldn't touch him. I started to cry. I asked him if I should have let him go. He said no, he was glad for what I did, but I'm not sure he said that because he felt that way of if he said that to help me.

Chaud put the book down. He didn't know that his mother had gone through so much. And he had no idea that Proto owed his life to Mega's death. They were all connected and all intertwined. When he looked back to the book he saw that there were only a few more entries talking about both Emery and his mother settling. Some even speaking about how it seemed that Emery was getting use to the change, because now he could be near his brother. As Chaud thought back he remembered feeling like someone had watched him for a while but being so young he had passed it off. After that the entries stopped. When Chaud looked at the date he noticed that it was around the time his mom had been diagnosed with cancer. She must have been so busy with doctors that she didn't have any more time for the diary. As he shut the book something fell out, it was an envelope with Emery's name on it, dated a few days before his mother died, when he opened it he found that it was a letter,

Dear Emery,

Life never gives us break dose it? Either of us, after everything we've been through you'd think that we'd be given a chance. I hate leaving you alone Emery but I can't carry on this fight anymore, this cancer is aggressive and as much as I fight it, it's taking me away, but not my love, always know that I love you. And I have a favor to ask of you, I want you to look after your brother, besides me and a few other people he has no one, my dying will hit him hard. He'll need you. I've already arranged for you to be given as a gift to Chaud as a netnavi after my death. Believe me you'll need each other. I'll leave it to you to decide when to tell him who you really are, all he'll know about you to start with will be your name, Protoman (because you've always been so positive). So please watch after your little brother, and know that I'll always love you.

To my dear Emery, with all my love,

Mom

Chaud dropped the letter; he still couldn't fully believe it. Proto was his brother. He really was the soul in deep darkness; he had always been hidden by secrets and lies. Why after all these years hadn't he told him?

All of a sudden the attic walls seamed like they were closing in, he needed to get out. Chaud took the diary along with the letter and headed for the door. When he came out he noticed Terra and Mega waiting for him on the stairs. When they saw him they could see he was fighting back tears and that he was almost in a daze.

"Chaud what's wrong?" they both asked together.

"You know after all these years my life suddenly makes sense," Chaud replied, "you were right, both of you, he is my brother, my mom held the answers all along," Chaud continued as he pushed the diary into Terra's hands. "I have to talk to him," Chaud said as he headed down the stairs.

Terra watched Chaud leave in shock, she had never seen him that way.

"I've never seen him like this," Terra said as she started to follow.

"Terra wait," Mega said as he caught her arm, "he needs to do this himself."

"Like you let me do it on my own? Look I just can't let him go without some moral support." Terra said as she continued on her way leaving Mega to follow her.

When Chaud came out of the house he went back out to the courtyard where he found Proto along with Lan and Whisper, but he didn't care that the other two were there, he had something he need to say.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" he asked once he had reached the group looking Proto in the eye as best he could. Whisper and Lan took this as their signal and got up and left, joining Mega and Terra on the back steps.

"Chaud I-" Proto started, then loosing his voice. He had been trying to prepare himself for this moment, but in that split second everything that he had thought to say vanished.

"I'm waiting," Chaud said.

Proto found his voice.

"Chaud you never knew you had a brother, you never even knew I existed, what would have been the point?"

"What's the point when people try to track down missing or long lost brothers or sisters, or when an adopted child tries to find their birth partners? It's because their family, Emery." Chaud said stating the name like it was a foreign language, "It's that simple. If you didn't notice Mom was the only family I ever had, when she died and Dad made us pick up and move I had no one. Terra, all my other friends, they were gone. It would have been nice to know that there was still someone there."

"I noticed it Chaud," Proto replied, "but if you didn't, Mom really was the only family I ever had, at least you had Dad, he never wanted me." Proto replied.

"Dad?" Chaud choked out, "Proto, Dad doesn't love me, he only respects me and that's as his business partner. He's never seen anything else in me other than someone to carry on the family name, an heir. But if you want to act this way fine, I shouldn't have to defend myself to you." Chaud said as he turned his back and began to walk away.

"Chaud wait!" Proto called.

"Why?" Chaud asked, "If all you have are excuses instead of reasons I'm not interested."

"Chaud," Proto called, but the duel haired teen didn't answer or stop, the lone navi watched him continue walking away until he turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

He sighed, after a few more seconds he made up his mind; he was ready, ready for this to be over and ready to make biggest decision of his life. He was going to let Chaud see him for who he really was. He went after Chaud and when he was sure he was out of the sight of his friends he slowly reached up and pulled off his shades.

Looking ahead he could see Chaud with his back planted firmly aginst the side of the house, eyes closed; he was shaking and Proto could see light glissen on his face as it struck the tears that were streaming down it. After a couple seconds Chaud's legs started to give and the boy slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground with his head between his knees.

Proto walked up to his brother slowly bearly making a sound until he was in front of him; he then kneeled until he was at eye level.

"Chaud?" Proto asked softly. "Chaud, look at me."

When Chaud still didn't respond Proto genlty took hold of Chaud head and pulled it up. "Chaud."

"Proto, I don't-" Chaud started when he abruptly stopped, Proto was looking directly at him, only not through his shades…

TBC