A/N: Yeah, it's the next chapter to 'Circus Boy' … and I'm really, really proud that I managed to bring out this chapter.

Anyway, I don't want to say too much at the beginning, because it will bore you anyway…

:grins:

This is the un-beta-ed version, because somehow I have problems with my e-mail-address. So, I'm not sure if my beta readers got my mails and if they got it, I didn't get their response, because somehow I don't get any mails at all. As I said, something is wrong with my e-mail account.

:sighs:

I have to fix it and once I'm able to do that, I'll post the beta-ed version. But until then, I hope you'll be able to read this.

Dedicated to: Val Creative… an inspiring and very talented authoress. I hope you'll like this chapter…

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or any related characters!

Enjoy!

Flying high
Turning in space
Indecision
Faltering grace.
Baying crowd
Blinding white light
Upturned faces
Shadows of night.
Trusted hands
Catch me with ease
Life's ambition
Flying trapeze.
Ravaged dreams
Sweat from my brow
Free fall vision
Dragging me down.

Flying, sighing, headlong into dread
Hoping, praying I'll find the path to tread

Spinning world
Motion unreal
Premonition
Time will reveal.
Worthless years
Passing me by
Resolution
Taking me high.

Argent 'Trapeze'

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"Robin, c'mon! Aren't you ready yet? We want to go," Robin heard the loud and annoying voice of Beat Boy through his closed and locked door.

He didn't give him an answer… he didn't need to…

He had been ready for hours, but somehow he couldn't bring himself leave his room… not yet.

His unmasked blue eyes were starring at the clothes on his bed. The last time he had looked at them were nine years ago.

At that time, Robin had been still able to wear it… the costume.

Their costumes… so colorful… painful to look at.

Robin touched the soft fabric silently and wished that he hadn't taken them out of the chest he had locked away a long, long time ago.

"Robin…?" A soft, gentle voice could be heard and without saying anything, Robin put in the code and opened the door.

"It's Richard… for today…" he said, and he was surprised that his voice sounded so hoarse… so rough… as if he hadn't spoken for days.

Raven nodded giving him one of her rare smiles, "Richard then…"

Robin had been the one who wanted to go in civilian mode. For today, he needed to be Richard Grayson… the former acrobat, the young man who had lost his parents in one single moment.

He didn't want to think about all this… at least not now… not yet.

Robin looked at Raven for the first time and took in her appearance.

"You look… nice…" Somehow he wanted to say beautiful, but 'nice' seemed safer.

Raven looked down at herself and at the jeans and plain white shirt she was wearing today. She was tempted to say something sarcastic, but in the end she didn't.

"Thanks…" She said instead adding, "But so do you…"

A smile was his reply and he didn't say anything else, Raven decided to speak, "Are you ready?"

Robin wanted to give her an answer, but with her words something happened and his eyes began to blur.

Flashback

"Are you ready, Richard?" A tall, dark-haired man asked from behind a bicycle.

On said bicycle sat an equally dark-haired, but little five-year old boy.

"But if I fall down?" Little Richard asked his small forehead scrunched and his bright-blue eyes shinning with worry and a little bit of fear.

"You don't have to try it, Richard," his father answered him. "But if you always stay back from everything, because you are to fall down, you'll miss out many important and fun things in your life.," He smiled down at his son as he continued to speak, " If you fall d own, stay up and try it again."

The young boy nodded and smiled turning around.

His father asked again, "Are you ready?"

"Yes!" Came the little boy's reply.

Richard began to ride the bicycle and at the same moment his father let go of the bike. Richard rode a few meters… and the fell down.

Immediately the little boy stood up and called, "C'mon dad, another try!"

John Grayson smiled, "I'm coming son."

Flashback Ends

Robin blinked and shook his head in confusion. Looking at Raven, he saw that she looked as confused as he felt.

"Did you see…?" He began unable to finish his question.

The sorceress nodded quietly and asked again, "Are you ready… Richard…?"

The blue-eyed young man gave her a small smile and answered, "Yes, I am…"

For a second Raven thought about taking his hand, but gave the idea up immediately. He wasn't a touchy person and neither was she.

So, they walked silently next to each other to the garage where everybody else was already waiting for them.

"Finally, it took you long enough to come," Beast Boy immediately said as they arrived at the garage.

Turning to Cyborg, he asked, "Can we go now?"

"I'm truly happy that you have finally come, friends," Starfire exclaimed happily before Cyborg could answer Beast Boy's question. "I am unable to wait to see the mysteries of the circus."

Robin took the hint, "Ok, let us go now… before Beast Boy explodes." He grinned, but it didn't took him long enough to get s serious again. "And don't forget that we're civilians today. So, use the civilian names. Oh, and no showing-off with your powers to any girls." At that he gave Beast Boy a hard look.

"C'mon, that was just one time…" The shape-shifter protested. "Can't you forget it already?"

"As long as you don't forget it," Robin warned him again before making his way towards his motorbike – the motorbike he was using when he wasn't Robin.

The others hurried to Cyborg's beloved "Baby" as Robin called out Raven's name.

He was holding out a helmet for her and Raven wasn't really sure if she would ever understand him and his actions.

Wordlessly she took the helmet and climbed on the bike behind Robin. Automatically her arms went around his waist.

"I hope you know that I'll kill you if you drive just one km/h over the given speed-limit."

Raven couldn't hear his answer, because Robin decided that this was the perfect moment to start the bike, but what was heard was his deep, hollering laugh.

It didn't take them long to arrive at the circus.

Twenty minutes – they could have made it in a shorter time, hadn't Raven hit Robin every time he even attempted to drive faster than 70 km/h.

Robin parked his bike climbing of off it and immediately holding out his hand for Raven who as well tried to get of off the bike.

Without wavering, she took his hand and the moment their hands touched their minds began to swirl.

Flashback

A six-year old Richard was swinging on a trapeze. Just as a Tall, brown-haired woman swayed from the other side, the boy let go of the trapeze trying to catch the woman's hand.

Missing her hands, Richard fell down… and landed in a net.

He climbed out of the net just as the woman let herself fall down into the net.

She came up to her son.

"I'll never learn it, mum!" The boy complained.

"You have to learn to wait. You are too eager, Robin."

Richard rolled his eyes at his mother's affectionate nickname for him.

"And you have to trust-"

Richard cut her short, "But I trust you!"

The woman smiled beautifully at the little boy, "No, you have to trust yourself… trust in yourself."

Again, the boy opened his mouth to protest, but was cut short by his mother.

"Try to listen… to see with your heart rather than your ears… eyes…"

Skeptically Richard looked at his mother, "With my heart?"

"You'll soon learn what I mean," His mother said ruffling his hair playfully

"C'mon, I think your father is waiting with the dinner."

"Dad cooked?" Richard asked in disgust.

"It's not that bad, Robin." The brown-haired woman defended her husband.

The little boy raised an eyebrow in question and his mother laughed – a beautiful laugh.

"Okay, okay, you're right." She grinned down at the blue-eyed boy. "We can still call the pizza-service."

"Yay," Richard said happily. "Pizza with lot of pepperoni!"

His mother just laughed.

Flashback Ends

As if bitten, Robin let go of Raven's hand causing her to stumble back into the bike.

Seeing that, Robin gave her an apologetic smile, "Sorry…"

"It's okay," Raven said straightening up. "Are you okay?" She asked unable to hide the worry in her voice. "Your memories-"

She couldn't finish her sentence for Robin cut her short.

"I'm okay… really," The young man tried to reassure her, but spoke to hastily. "Let's go… I'm sure the others are already waiting!"

With that said he hastily walked towards the entrance of the circus – not looking back at Raven.

After a while, Raven followed him – unsure what she should think and do.

"There they are, friends," Starfire said as she saw Robin and Raven approaching.

"Okay, fine! Can we please go in now?" Came Beast Boy's complaining voice. His arms were full of cotton-candies, ice-cream, popcorn and other various foods.

"Yes friends, let us go in!" The red-haired alien exclaimed loudly taking Robin's hand and pulling him inside the huge tent.

Cyborg followed suite – his arms as full with food as Beast Boy's.

Raven watched them go and for a small moment she had the urge to turn around and run away. It only took her a second to realize that what she was feeling weren't her emotions, but Ro-

"Rachel, are you coming?" She heard Cyborg call for her and interrupting her thoughts.

Shaking her head, she followed her friends.

The circus was full with people… with families… with children… with friends… with people who wanted to have some fun and to see the unfamiliar.

But for Robin it was like coming home from a long, long trip – yet he wanted nothing else, but to just run away without looking back and never come back again.

A part of him wanted nothing more than stay here and remember all the memories he had buried away a long time ago and the other part of him never wanted to see a circus again.

"Look, look… its beginning… it's beginning…." Beast Boy screamed enthusiastically and somehow Robin couldn't help himself, but smile at the green prankster's childlike happiness. It was just endearing…

"Ladies and gentlemen, dear children, lovers, friends… welcome to our fantastic show of wonders!" A tall man with a dress coat spoke suddenly. He was standing in the middle of the manage – the ringmaster.

"Usually, we would begin our show with our animal-presentation, but today is a special day – a very special day…" The ringmaster paused grinning mysteriously. "That's why we'll begin our fantastic show with our world-famous and breath-taking…"

Drum-rolls could be heard before the man spoke his last words, "… Trapeze Swinger…"

"Trapeze Swinger…" Robin whispered silently as the man began to speak again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I now present you the one and only 'Gliding Angels'!"

The lights went out again and Robin stood up abruptly. He couldn't stay here – not for a second.

Hastily and without looking back at his friends, he made his way out of the circus.

He ran and ran without knowing where. He just felt the wind on his face, but once he stopped Robin closed his eyes and again, he began to remember:

Don't leave me in the dark, mum… dad. I don't want to leave your side--

I sat, legs swinging, as the hard benches were so high above the ground. I felt no longer earthed with my feet dangling above the wooden floors… just lost. I did not remember where my dreams began and my world ended.

It was an empty chapel, a tapestry of white with golden crosses.

All the others stood and walked over to view the sleeping faces of the man and woman I loved so very much.

They broke so many promises.

I stood up and walked to the caskets to see their faces for the last time, for one last memory to be held with them so close, and yet so far.

I wanted to tell them how much I had matured. I wanted to tell them that I miss them already and bury my face in their chests. But most importantly, I wanted to say hello instead of goodbye.

One step…

They're both sleeping.

One glance…

Wake mum up! Wake up dad!

I reached out…

They are both so peaceful.

Laying down the single marigold…

They are far away from the pain now, no one can harm them.

I leaned forward…

All my heart on that small flower.

Kissing them both…

All my dreams to be buried in sleep with them.

"I love you."

Can I sleep in your coffin with you? Can I give you the warmth you no longer have on those cold cheeks? Why can't I wake you from your dreams? Why can't I join you?


"Richard, let's go."

I could've stood there for eternity, but the firm hand on my shoulder turned me away. I grasped Bruce's hand, walking in silence out the door, leaving my parents behind. They had no need to drift away, I was already too far to see their faces. I had already laid down my heart with theirs within that coffin.

Goodbye, mum and dad!

Goodbye!

Robin opened his eyes slowly and didn't flinch away when a hand rested on his shoulder. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"More than anything else, I hate those memories…" He trailed off and Raven came to his side.

"It's better than having no memories at all," Raven said not even looking at Robin.

"Raven, I-" He began realizing what she meant, but Raven just shook her head.

"No… no… Richard it's not my turn," She looked at him and Robin looked back nodding.

"When Bruce first took me in, I used to dream about them every night… and every night I saw them fall," The dark-haired man paused for a moment before continuing to speak. "And with each dream a part of me – a part of Richard Grayson fell with them. Until there was nothing left of Richard… of Dick." He smiled sadly, "There was only Robin. And it was easier to be just Robin – the Boy Wonder, the sidekick of Batman, the leader of the Teen Titans than being Richard Grayson – the boy who lost his parents, the son of John and Mary Grayson."

Again, he looked at Raven as he spoke his next words, "Of course that was until you created the bond. And again, I had to remember and Richard Grayson was back… the memories were back. And I… I hated you for that… I tried to hate you,"

Raven flinched at his words, "You didn't talk to me for two weeks…"

He looked up, surprised, "I did speak to you."

"Yeah, you did speak to me… but you wouldn't talk to me…" She smiled at him knowing that he would now understand what she meant.

Robin turned his back to her, "You know, you would have made a great acrobat."

"Really?" Raven answered, "I think I would be better as a magician… or a bunny…"

She looked at him seeing that his shoulders were shaking.

Cautiously she walked closer thinking that he was crying, but he turned around before she could touch him.

He was laughing, but somehow Raven wished he had been crying, because then she would have known how to react.

"You are just like her…" Robin said as he stopped laughing and Raven didn't have to ask who 'she' was.

"Just like her… she had such a wonderful smile and I never wanted her to stop smiling," He stopped and gave Raven a sad, rueful smile, "And I never want to you to stop smiling. Will you promise me that?"

"Ro- Richard, are you okay?" The sorceress asked confused and worried. This was not the way Robin would normally behave.

"Do you promise?" Robin said again waiting for an answer and ignoring her question.

"I promise," Raven said.

"Good…" He seemed relieved, "Do you know that they say when you look in the eyes of a person you love that you would forget who you are?" He asked suddenly and without waiting for an answer he continued, "But when I looked into the eyes of my father… of my mother, I remembered who I was…"

Robin closed his eyes and Raven saw that he was shaking a bit, "And when I look into your eyes, I remember that I am Richard Grayson… I remember that I… I…" He trailed off closing his eyes and turning away from her again.

And again, his shoulder shook.

"Robin…?" Raven called out totally forgetting that they were they were civilians.

He didn't answer.

"Richard?" She tried again and out of impulse took his hand. Once their hands touched, Robin spun her around taking her into his arms – hugging her tightly.

His face was pressed into her hair and her face buried into his neck.

"I miss them, Rae," He sobbed wetting her hair, "I miss them…" He cried and Raven just let him cry and stroked his back in an attempt to comfort him. "I never wanted them to leave me, but they did…" He sobbed, unable to stop the flow of tears, as his soul cried out for his parents.

"Please, don't leave me as well… please don't leave me…" He cried harder and Raven couldn't do anything else, but hug him tighter and whisper softly in his ear, "I won't leave you Robin… I will never leave you, Richard…" She whispered it over and over again... although she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep this promise.

And so they stood there in the middle of the night in each others arms: One crying over his family he had lost a long time ago and the other trying to give him comfort.

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'So please remember me, finally
and all my uphill clawing
my dear, but if I make the Pearly Gates
I'll do my best to make a drawing
of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl
an angel kissin' on a sinner
a monkey and a man, a marching band
all around the frightened trapeze-swinger.'

Iron & Wine – 'The Trapeze Swinger'

A/N: So… that was it…

:wrings her hand nervously:

How did you like it…?

To be honest, I really, really like this chapter. It's not how I imagined it would be, but I like it… somehow… not sure why, but I put much work in this chapter… and I hope that you enjoyed it as well.

The next chapter will be the last… something like an epilogue with a conclusion. I'm not really sure what will happen with Raven and Robin, but yeah… we'll see…

Anyway, tell me what you think and leave me a little review…

Last, but definitely not least: I want to thank everybody who was so nice and kind to review the last chapter. It's always awesome to read your reviews and I'm really, really happy that most of you liked the last chapter.

So, thank you very, very, very, very much for the wonderful reviews and comments.

You are all so awesome!

So, that was it from me… for now…

Take care and be safe!

Love, Alena