Chapter 3: On the Grill
Eventually, people began to realize just how far from the truth their information could be, and decided that they only way to verify any of it would be to grill Jack and Sam's friends. They were scientists, after all.
It was with this line of thinking that Sergeant Siler made his way slowly to the infirmary, trying not to step on his throbbing right foot. One of these days he was going to tie his wrench to his arm, then maybe he'd be able to go a day without injuring himself.
He had been roped into helping the rumor mill's cause as he hobbled to the elevator. Siler was as curious about Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter as the next man, but he felt that whatever the situation was, they deserved privacy.
However, he knew from the enthusiasm of his recruiter that if he left the infirmary without anything juicy to report a bruised foot would be the least of his worries.
On the other hand, Siler doubted his ability to get any information without letting on his true intentions. Doctor Fraiser was as sharp as those needles she like to poke people with and fiercely protective of her friends.
Trying futilely to plan his attack, Siler took one final steadying breath and hopped the remaining distance into the infirmary.
"Sergeant Siler," Doctor Fraiser said as he came in and dumped himself on the nearest bed. "I was wondering whether you'd be in today. What's your complaint?"
"Oh, you know me..." Siler trailed off lamely.
"Dropped your wrench on your foot, did you?" Fraiser asked.
"Yes, ma'am," Siler said sulkily.
"Let's have a look," Fraiser said, carefully pulling off his boot and examining the bruised foot within. "You really should try to be more careful, one of these days you're really going to hurt yourself. You've already exceeded the recommended maximum number of X-rays in a year, and as much as I hate to sound like Colonel O'Neill, the paperwork is a bit of a hassle."
"Speaking of Colonel O'Neill, how's Major Carter been lately?" Siler asked, trying to be tactful but mostly failing.
Fraiser eyed him suspiciously, trying to figure out why he had drawn that particular connection, then said, "Same as always, as far as I know. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, you know," Siler started, giving himself time to think of an excuse. "Major Carter and I usually work together a lot when she's not off-world, but SG-1's been so busy lately...you know how it is," he finished, inwardly cursing himself for the repetitive statement. He'd known getting information out of Doctor Fraiser would be difficult, but this was ridiculous.
"I understand what you mean about them being busy," Fraiser said emphatically. "I've been bugging General Hammond to give them some leave for months, but it seems the universe just can't survive without them. As it is, they're all overworked, but Sam still has to be ordered to go home every night. Even if they do get leave, Sam and Daniel tend to stay here and work anyway."
"You or General Hammond could always order them off base," Siler suggested. "They say that Colonel O'Neill has a fishing cabin in Minnesota, it might do them all good to take a trip up there." He knew he was rambling now, but he couldn't stop. "I hear he once asked Major Carter to go fishing with him. Maybe if she's not allowed to stay here she'll go."
Doctor Fraiser's eyes narrowed with this last statement. Clearly she'd caught on.
Oops.
On purpose or not, she poked his foot in its most tender spot, hard.
Oh, yeah, now he'd done it.
"I don't know where you got this idea, but they are Air Force officers. What's more, Colonel O'Neill is Major Carter's commanding officer. Doing such a thing would be inappropriate and against regulations and I think you know that, Sergeant," Fraiser ranted passionately.
Siler knew that arguing with the Doctor would be futile even if he had a sound debate. As it was, he gave up completely and gazed dejectedly at his off-color foot instead.
"You're restricted to light duty for at least the rest of the day," Fraiser said coldly as she passed him a bag of ice. "I think your foot's only bruised, but if it's still hard to walk on after a few hours come back and I'll do an X-ray."
Siler re-laced his shoe as fast as his shaking fingers would allow and left, scarcely daring to look at the enraged Doctor.
Colonel O'Neill stepped onto an elevator alongside Doctor Melanie Waterman, and archaeologist from of the SG teams.
"Colonel," she said in greeting.
"Doctor," he replied.
"Where you headed?" Waterman asked.
"Um, Carter's lab," the Colonel replied. "I got tired of writing reports all day, so I figured I'd go bother her awhile."
Jack always felt uncomfortable around this particular scientist, mostly because she always acted so formal around him even though she was a civilian, and he could never tell if she always acted that way, or if she was just afraid of him.
Melanie, however, was anything but scared. In fact it was all she could do not to laugh out loud as she selected the proper floor for him. Forget trying to weasel anything out of Doctor Jackson, she just got enough information to fuel the rumor mill for at least the next couple of days, and straight from the source too.
Not that she expected questioning Doctor Jackson to be difficult, get the man distracted enough with some artifact and he'd answer anything before even considering that the information might be top secret.
Doctor Waterman departed from the elevator, wishing the Colonel a good day, then knocked on the doorframe to Daniel's cluttered office and entered.
Daniel looked up briefly to see who it was then refocused on his work, mumbling, "Hi, Melanie, what can I do for you?"
"Hi," Doctor Waterman replied. "Did you have a good mission?"
"Great," Daniel said, finally looking at her properly.
"Anything interesting happen?" she prompted.
"Tons," Daniel said. "The indigenous people have a fascinating culture. It seems to be Mayan in nature, and almost perfectly preserved despite their technology. I managed to get a few rubbings of some of the relics before we were held up at gunpoint and forced to leave. Here, take a look."
Melanie smirked inwardly at Daniel's enthusiasm. Only in his books would rubbings rank higher than being held at gunpoint on the interesting scale. However, in this context, she wasn't particularly concerned with either one. What she really wanted to know was if anything "interesting" had occurred, specifically between the two resident Air Force officers on SG-1. Daniel, however, didn't seem aware of that definition of the word.
Opting for a different approach, Doctor Waterman said, "Hey, just out of curiosity, how does SG-1 dole out sleeping arrangements when you're on extended missions?"
"Why do you ask?" Doctor Jackson replied, once again paying more attention to his artifacts.
"My commanding officer's been pushing us to start packing only two larger tents between us instead of four smaller ones. He says it will save space for other gear," Melanie explained, hoping Daniel wouldn't actually ask the man to verify the information. "Since I'm the only woman on the team, and I was just wondering what Major Carter does in similar situations."
"We bring two tents, but usually sleep outside anyway, weather permitting," Daniel replied.
"And if it's raining?" Melanie asked.
"Then Sam usually shares a tent with Teal'c," Daniel said.
"Teal'c? Why's that?" Melanie pressed.
"It's mostly a respect thing, Teal'c doesn't really need to sleep anyway, so she gets more space, and he's the only one she can trust to be completely platonic about it," Daniel explained.
"And she can't trust you or Colonel O'Neill?" Melanie asked.
"Well, it's just that she and I are like siblings, but you mostly don't go sharing a small tent with your brother when you're both in your 30s. Jack is another problem entirely..." he trailed off, vaguely aware that he had said too much.
However, now that Melanie had heard that she wasn't about to let it drop without a fight.
"What kind of problem?"
Daniel had caught on to her by now, though, and looking at her intently, he said, "What exactly are you trying to ask me?"
Melanie knew that from this moment she would either have to go all in or fold. She chose to risk it. "I know that at this very moment Colonel O'Neill is in Major Carter's lab, distracting her. I want one good reason why I shouldn't play 'Love Shack' over the intercom."
Daniel thought for a moment, then said, "Lucky you, you're going to get three reasons. First of all, tampering with the computer here is a federal offense, and you could get your security clearance revoked, or be sent to jail. Secondly, that is one of the most annoying songs I have ever heard, and no one will be able to work while it's playing. And most importantly, the Air Force has rules against commanding officers fraternizing with their subordinates, and whether they are guilty of such a thing or not, they could be called in for questioning or court martialled if there is an indication that they are breaking those rules. A stunt like that could completely undermine SG-1."
"Alright," Melanie said, trying not to look too disappointed at loosing the debate so spectacularly. She said goodbye to Daniel and left, seething at her own lack of tact.
A/N: Lucky this wasn't much of a cliffhanger, because I'm probably not going to be able to post another chapter for the next week. I've got a paper due for my English class, and on top of taking up a lot of time formal writing tends to kill my muse. I'll update as soon as I can and then I promise it will start to get interesting. Thanks for your patience.