Author's Note: Oy, what a week. Three quizzes, three tests, and a ten-page paper: I swear my teachers enjoy torturing us. Although, that paper was actually due Monday, but I got it turned in Friday, mostly because I wanted to make sure I had time to add a chapter or two to this over the weekend. So, thanks everybody, you inspire me not to procrastinate. Thanks for all the reviews and suggestions. Don't worry, I'll give you more rumors soon, and it will get shippy, very soon. And to the person who mentioned the betting pool, thanks bunches because I totally didn't think of it. I will definitely try to work that in somewhere.
Chapter 4: What, Again?
Daniel shook his head in disbelief and turned his concentration back to his work. What was she thinking, suggesting that there could be something going on between Jack and Sam. It was absurd, well, mostly. But where do people get this stuff anyway?
It took a moment for his subconscious to determine the obvious and the point it out to the rest of him, but it got there eventually.
"I should go tell them," he said to the artifacts around him as he stood up suddenly and left his office.
Janet happened to occupy the elevator when it reached Daniel's floor and he stepped on alongside her.
"They're at it again," Doctor Fraiser said without preamble.
"Who?" Daniel asked, worried for a moment that she had been referring to Jack and Sam.
"Whatever group's at the head of the rumor mill around here," Fraiser replied.
"Oh, them, yeah," Daniel sighed with relief.
"Siler came into the infirmary with a bruised foot and used it as an excuse to try and verify whatever information they thought they had," Fraiser ranted.
"I had a similar experience with Doctor Waterman, except without the foot part," Daniel added.
"These are supposed to be the smartest people in the country," Janet said as they stepped off the elevator. "You'd think they'd notice by now that there's nothing going on between Jack and Sam. And even if they did have feelings for each other, Sam at least would never pursue it because her career means too much to her to set herself up for a court martial like that."
"And Jack wouldn't act on it because he doesn't want Sam to jeopardize her career for him, and he likes his job too much to retire," Daniel finished.
"I guess it's a testament to the amount of time we spend in a hole in the ground that the most interesting story is a romance that doesn't even exist. Hey Teal'c," she added as the Jaffa caught up to them, dwarfing her.
"I just had a most unsettling experience," Teal'c said.
"Join the club," Daniel sighed. "What's your story?"
"I was going to partake in my midday meal," Teal'c explained. "As I entered the commissary all conversation ceased, and all present stared at me in the most peculiar fashion. At first I could not determine why."
"I suppose you figured it out or else you wouldn't be down here," Daniel said.
"Indeed," Teal'c replied.
They rounded the final corner to Sam's lab. From within Jack could be heard saying, "Aren't you hungry? Let's go get some food."
Daniel barged in before Sam had a chance to turn him down on her own and said, "You might not want to do that right now."
"For crying out loud!" Jack exclaimed. "Do we have to go save the world again? Can't it wait until after lunch?"
"Actually, the world's just fine right now," Daniel said with a smirk, "it's the lunch part that's the problem."
"Burned the french fries again did they?" Jack asked.
"What's the problem?" Sam asked, condensing the Colonel's roundabout twenty questions method.
"Apparently, there's another rumor spreading around about the two of you," Daniel started.
"Again?" Jack demanded. "Aren't they sick of us by now?"
"Apparently not," Teal'c replied stoically.
"What do they think they have on us this time?" Sam asked.
"I don't know," Janet admitted. "But they seem to think something happened during your last mission, so I guess their suspicions are based on your recent behavior."
"But we haven't even done anything out of the ordinary," Sam said.
"Guess we'd better go tell the General about the lack of anything going on before he gets suspicious," Jack sighed.
"Want us to go with you?" Janet asked.
"Might be a good idea," Jack replied. "Save you the trouble of dealing with any heart attacks caused by Carter and I leaving an elevator together."
Daniel, Teal'c, and Janet waited in the briefing room while Jack and Sam prepared to face whatever music was coming to them. However, when the General invited them in he seemed downright excited.
"Colonel, Major, just the people I was hoping to see," Hammond said, earning confused looks from the both of them. "We were just contacted by the inhabitants of P3X-857. They've agreed to our terms for trade of the naquadah. Excellent work."
"Thank you, sir," O'Neill said slowly, trying to find a good way to break the real reason they were there to the obviously unaware General.
Sam beat him to it. "Sir, you might not know this, but apparently there's another rumor circulating about us," she said carefully.
The smile on Hammond's face slipped off. "Are these rumors justified? The truth now."
"The details are a little sketchy," Carter explained. "They seem to think that something happened on our last mission that changed the terms of our relationship."
"Which it didn't," O'Neill interjected.
"We assume the theory is based on something abnormal someone saw or thought they saw us do after we got back," Carter continued.
"Which we didn't," Jack finished.
Hammond sat down and attempted to thwart an impending headache by pinching the bridge of his nose. "And you're sure their opinions are unfounded?" he asked after a moment.
"Yes, sir," O'Neill replied. "We've got Daniel, Teal'c and Fraiser out there willing to prove it if you like."
"That won't be necessary," Hammond replied. "This is becoming quite a nuisance, though."
"Yes, sir," Jack agreed.
"Ignoring them has always worked in the past," Hammond said. "Eventually those involved would loose interest and the rumors would stop."
"Obviously that's not working out to be a very good long term solution," O'Neill said.
"No," Hammond sighed.
"Did you have something in mind, sir?" Carter asked.
"Yes," Hammond said reluctantly. "But it goes against everything I stand for as a General in the Air Force. I'll only suggest it if you're both willing to hear me out."
"I'm all for getting this to stop," Jack said.
"Me too, sir," Carter added.
"Very well," Hammond replied. "I'm suggesting you give them what they want."
Neither Jack nor Sam knew what to make of this. It was a good thing Doctor Fraiser was just outside, because something was obviously wrong with the General.
"Are you sure, sir?" Jack asked.
"Very," Hammond replied, despite the supposed seriousness of the situation, he couldn't help but smirk inwardly at the two airman's obvious confusion.
"You want us to pretend we're dating for the sake of ending these rumors," Jack said. That didn't sound so bad.
"Exactly," Hammond replied.
"Sorry, sir," Carter stammered, "but I think I'm missing the part where this helps."
"It is my hope that if they think there actually is something going on between the two of you they'll run out of new material to talk about, or it'll invoke some guilt on their part and they'll stop out of respect for your privacy," Hammond explained.
"And if they don't," Carter asked skeptically.
"Then you can stop and we go back to plan A," Hammond replied.
"What about the inter-office dating policy?" Jack asked.
"Consider it suspended in your case," Hammond replied. "Of course, this isn't an order, and you only need take this as far as you are comfortable."
"I'm alright with this," Carter said.
"Me too," Jack replied, hoping he didn't sound too eager, or surprised that Carter seemed so keen on the idea.
"Very well," Hammond said as Jack offered Sam his arm, which she took obligingly. "Keep in mind that as soon as this is over things will be going back to the way they were before."
"Yes, sir," they said as they turned to leave.
Daniel, Teal'c, and Janet looked up as Jack and Sam entered the briefing room, still arm in arm.
"What are you doing?" Daniel asked, looking at them quizzically.
"We're giving these gossipers what they want," Jack replied simply as he and Sam made their way across the room.
Daniel looked completely dumbfounded at the statement, Janet flat out confused, and Teal'c performed one of his best combination head-tilt eyebrow raises to date.
"I'm gonna shoot whoever started this," Jack muttered.
"I'll help," Sam replied.