Chapter VII: Not Starring Cloud
Kate paced back and forth in front of the entrance to the Lezareno Company. "Oh… What happened to Raine? Does her absence mean Kratos was killed?" she worried while caressing her forehead and adjusting the positioning of her glasses on her face.
"Lord Kratos is fine, and so is Professor Raine," came a feminine voice in the darkness. Kate looked up into the face of a green-haired woman in a revealing bodysuit. Next to her stood a man with a gun for an arm and a man with an open purple vest.
"Who are you?" Kate inquired.
The three of them nodded to each other and each struck a pose. "I'm Magnius!" the purple clad one blared.
"And I'm Pronyma!" cried the woman.
"And together we are called the-" Magnius and Pronyma struck another pose before continuing, "Mon Colle Knights!"
Kate simply blinked a few times before taking an even more surprised step backward. The gunman, on the other hand, smacked his own forehead and shook his head. He pointed at his two comrades and began shouting, "We are not the Mon Colle Knights! Unless you want to travel to a monster world, wear strange clothes, and yell something about "doing it with us" or something." Pronyma and Magnius simply shook their heads sheepishly. "I thought so… We are three of the Five Desian Grand Cardinals. My name is Forcystus," he stated, taking a bow.
"Why are you here?" Kate asked.
"We are here to destroy the disgusting vermin of this world!" Magnius yelled, his eyes lighting up while he struck yet another pose. He soon stopped when he was met with the disapproving glares of his fellow Cardinals. "Err… what I meant to say was that we're here with Cruxis… they're just not here yet…"
"So what exactly happened to Kratos and Raine?"
"It would seem that Lord Kratos suffered a blow to the back of the head shortly after you left. After that, someone or something took Raine back to Lloyd," Forcystus explained.
"Oh Raine…" Kate sighed, "You just had to fawn over the rheaird first, didn't you?"
The four of them stood in silence, none of them having anything else to say at the moment. This silence was incredibly awkward and the only sounds came from the occasional cricket chirp and the drunken cheers coming from the giant casino in another part of Altamira. For a few minutes more the silence dragged on, that is, until Magnius decided to break it, "So, uh… Anybody for strip poker?"
Kate cringed at the idea while the Cardinals seemed completely unfazed. "D-do you have any c-c-cards with you?" the teal headed scientist stammered.
Magnius scratched the back of his head, rubbed his chin, and searched his pockets, coming up with nothing. He then proceeded to scratch Forcystus's head, rub his chin, and search his pockets, and he still found nothing. Next, he moved on to Pronyma. He scratched her hat, rubbed her chin, and rummaged through his own pockets again because Pronyma had none. Finally, he walked over to the astonished Kate, who hurriedly went through the motions he had performed on everyone else simply to avoid any awkward moments. Seeing that she had none, Magnius answered the original question, "No…"
"Then shut up," Pronyma ordered. Magnius simply let out an exasperated sigh before silence fell over the group again.
A few moments passed before the red headed Cardinal attempted conversation again, "Nice weather we're havin'? Nice and sunny."
"It's the middle of the night…" Kate stated as she stared at the moon.
"Right…"
Again, a blanket of silence covered the four of them as faint shouts of "You cheated!", "Give me my money, dammit!", and "I's a little's tea's pot's short and stout's…" were heard.
"So-"
"Magnius!" Pronyma roared.
"Yes, Pronyma?"
"Shut up and wait for Lord Stud Muffin… er… Lord Yggdrasil to arrive!" she barked.
"Yes, Lady Pronyma," Magnius obeyed. "Stupid fangirl," he added under his breath. Pronyma glared at him and he shrugged innocently. Once again they were shrouded in silence as the four of them awaited the arrival of the two Seraphim and the Chosen of Tethe'Alla. Kate continued her pacing as she worried for her friend and the members of Cruxis. The Cardinals just stood there staring up into the sky.
A few moments passed before they were able to make out three humanoid shapes and what looked something like a bird crossed with a motorcycle in the distance. Pronyma's eyes lit up and became heart shaped as she began to float in the air and yell, "Lord Yggdrasil!" over and over again. As the group got closer, Pronyma took off into the sky crashing into one of the figures and sending him straight to the ground below, all the while continuing her incessant screaming of "Lord Yggdrasil!" The other Cardinals simply sighed while Kate looked on in shock.
"Pronyma…" Mithos whined as he tried to get the rabid Cardinal off of him, rather unsuccessfully it might be added, "We don't have time for this…"
"Lord Yggdrasil!" Pronyma screamed as she clung to the Seraph Leader ever tighter.
"Why does Mithos get the hottie?" Zelos groaned as he, Yuan, and the Lezareno Company Heads landed on the ground.
"Can't you keep your libido in check for more than a few seconds?" Yuan sighed.
"But it's just not-" the Chosen stopped when he noticed Kate standing there with a distraught look on her face. He quickly zoomed over to the Scientist and asked, "What's wrong, my pulchritudinous philosopher?"
"Oh, for the love of Martel…" Yuan droned.
"We have to go back! We have to save Raine! Once Lloyd figures out that the Mana Cannon is operational, he'll do horrible things to her and then to the world!" Kate urgently yelled as she looked at the Chosen with unintentional sad, puppy dog, eyes.
A new resolve was installed into Zelos's being as fire appeared in eyes. "Ya heard this hot lady!" he shouted into the night, "We've gotta go save the other sexy scientist from that evil tyrant!" He sprouted his wings once more and took off, only to have his leg grabbed by the President of the Lezareno Company. "Hey! Let go of me, we've got work to do!"
"Incase you weren't paying attention, Zelos," Regal began, "We don't stand a chance against Lloyd or Sheena, let alone both of them at once." Zelos calmed down and landed on the ground once more, seeming to have actually taken what Regal said to heart. "Besides," the President continued, "Even if we could fight them equally, we're in no condition to do so right now."
"I suggest we try again in a week," Yuan injected.
"A week!" Kate screamed, "Raine might not last that long with Sheena's temper!"
"We're going to need to train if we want so much as simply last against those two, let alone eventually defeat them."
"Then we're going to need more than a-" Regal started, only to be interrupted by Mithos disgruntled moaning.
"Stop kissing me Pronyma," he whined, "We have work to do…"
"Oh, c'mon Mithos!" Pronyma whined.
"… Anyway," Regal continued, ignoring the pathetic sight of the Leader of the Cardinals attempting to make out with the leader of Cruxis and the latter not allowing it, "we're going to need more than a week."
Yuan tapped his forehead and smirked, "You seem to be forgetting something Regal."
Regal cocked an eyebrow and looked at Yuan, and then at Presea, who had been standing there silently throughout the entire conversation thus far. "There is a one-hundred percent chance he is going to talk about the monsters indigenous to this area," she stated.
"Exactly. If we fight the monsters, we'll not only be doing the guests in Altamira a favor, but we'll get stronger faster than any other form of training," the Seraph Master of Lightning nodded, rather pleased with himself and his idea.
"This sounds strangely like something out of a game, but it seems that it'll work," Regal thought aloud.
"Yeah, not a bad idea, boss man," Zelos chimed in.
"I'm the only boss man around here!" Mithos sputtered from in-between Pronyma's kisses. The group simply looked at the man as he tried to escape the Cardinal's clutches and they all let out a sigh.
"…Well then, I suggest we all go to bed if we want to get up bright and early and go monster hunting," Presea said, slightly disgusted by the pathetic sight of Mithos Yggdrasil attempting to get away from Lady Pronyma. "I kept your rooms reserved for you," she said to Yuan and Zelos. She turned to Forcystus and handed him a card, "Since you seem to be the sanest of the Cardinals, I'm putting you in charge of getting rooms. This card will get you three adjacent rooms, free of charge."
"Thank you Ms. Combatir," Forcystus thanked with a bow.
"You people tire me, I'm going to bed," Presea said as she headed to the tram to take a ride to the residential area of Altamira, "I'll see you guys at six."
"You know, she's hot when she's vexed," the Chosen whispered in Regal's ear.
"Shut up, Zelos," the President of Lezareno replied as he began walking after her to head to his own house.
"Touchy, touchy…" Zelos sighed as he folded his arms.
"Did I miss anything?" Mithos asked, having finally gotten away from the clingy Cardinal, huffing as he wiped off his jumpsuit.
"We're going back to the hotel, and we're to meet here at six o'clock," Yuan replied.
"Sounds good to me," Mithos said as he took off in the direction of Hotel Lezareno, Pronyma only mere feet behind him.
Yuan and Zelos blinked a few times as they watched Mithos go. "Wow, he must be tired; he didn't even yell anything about that not being his plan or that the hotel employees deserve a smiting…" Yuan observed.
"Yeah, I bet that Pronyma is a be-"
"Shut up, Zelos."
"Hmph… Hey! I wonder if Lily's still on shift."
Yuan walked out of his room, stretching and looking through the window in the hallway. 'I haven't slept that well in a long time. Nothing can kill my mood!' he thought to himself.
"Mmmmmmmm…" Mithos groaned.
'Dammit.' The Seraph Master of Electricity let out a sigh and looked at his companion, who looked a royal wreck. His hair was mussed, his clothes were horribly wrinkled, and he had rather large bags under his eyes. "What's wrong, Mithos?"
"Mithos! MITHOS! MiThOS!" Pronyma shrieked over and over again.
"That…" Mithos groaned as he pointed to the leader of the Five Desian Grand Cardinals.
"I hear an exuberant woman and a tired male, did I miss something?" Zelos asked, poking his head of shining red hair out of the door.
"It seems a certain Cardinal kept our 'Great Leader' up all night… Doing what, I don't want to know…"
"She just wouldn't stop fawning over me and telling me stories…" Mithos moaned, "And she wouldn't go back to her own room… I couldn't get any sleep…"
"I'm sure they had fun," Zelos smirked. He then turned his head down before saying, "Don'tcha think, my voluptuous hunnie?" The receptionist's head popped out under Zelos's and she simply giggled before nodding in agreement.
Yuan massaged his temples and took a great big sigh, "I just can't escape can I?"
"Nope, you're stuck with us," Zelos said cheerfully.
"Well, drat it all."
"Kratos," Lloyd began calmly as he took a sip of his patented blood red wine, "are you aware that Kate escaped and Raine almost made it out with her?" He adjusted the way he sat on his now ruined throne.
Kratos kneeled before the Tyrant, attempting to come up with a convincing lie.
"Well!" Sheena questioned impatiently.
"I am afraid that the vast majority of last night is a blur as I was taken by surprise by Cruxis on their way onto the premises," the brown-headed knight stated emotionlessly.
"What good are you if you can't keep pathetic lowlifes like that out of our castle!" Sheena roared, lifting one of her cards menacingly. She began to advance on the kneeling knight, "I ought to kill you right now!" She stopped when Lloyd placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at the Demon Falcon, who simply smiled. "You're lucky Lloyd doesn't want his daddy dead."
"Thank you, Lady Sheena," Kratos said, not daring to lift his head and look at either of the rulers of Castle Raptor.
Lloyd took another sip of his wine before going on, "Your life is spared Kratos, but that doesn't mean you won't be punished."
"Any punishment, Lord Lloyd."
"I'm glad to hear that, Kratos, because you have exactly one week to put this castle back together the way it was before those buffoons ruined it."
"As you command, Lord Lloyd." After hearing his liege's orders, Kratos stood up and walked over to a piece of the collapsed roof. He hoisted it up with ease and carried it out of the room. The Seraph of Judgement continued to do this for the rest of the day, only ever stopping to be berated by the Lady of Castle Raptor.
Regal scratched his chin as he stared at the ceiling of his office. As opposed to his usual suit, the President of Lezareno simply wore a raggedy pair of pants and a t-shirt that he had tied at his belly to expose his abdominal muscles for one reason or another. "Where would we find the monsters offering the most experience?" he thought aloud.
"A forest most likely," the Vice-President replied.
Regal, somewhat surprised at being answered, gave a little jump before turning around to address his colleague, "P-Presea, I didn't even realize I had said anything."
"You were thinking out loud," Presea stated as she smoothed out her blue dress.
"I'm surprised you still have that dress, and those gloves, and those boots," Regal said noticing the clothes Presea was sporting. "How in Sylvarant do you still fit in them?"
Presea let out a small sigh as she shook her head. "Regal, these aren't the same one's I wore when I was twelve… They're bigger. It's not like I haven't grown in sixteen years."
Regal fell to his knees and began to hit the floor, "I've inadvertently insulted my best friend... That is yet another sin against Aselia! Why am I unable to atone! An-"
"Regal, if you finish that word, I will cleave into your flesh!" Presea growled through gritted teeth. The President simply looked at her before he promptly shut up, though he continued pounding his hands against the floor.
"I see we haven't missed anything," Yuan said as he, the two other angels, and Pronyma landed in the office of the head of the Lezareno Company.
"No you haven't," Presea said, "Where are the other two?"
"They're waiting outside," Pronyma began, "We're taking the Enterprise and we're going to find Rodyle and Kvar; they haven't reported in in a long time."
"Enterprise?" Regal asked as he rose to his feet, seeming to have forgotten about his previous outburst. "That seems familiar."
"It should, you paid for the construction of the flagship EC of the Desians."
"So that's why I remember it."
Pronyma turned and started to jump out of the window, "Now that I've told you the plan, we Cardinals shall be taking our leave. I'll see you later, Yggy-poo!" With that, the leader of the Five Grand Cardinals was gone, meeting her two companions wherever they were waiting outside.
"…Yggy-poo?" Yuan said as he looked at the man who more or less his little brother.
"Shut up, Yuan…" replied the Seraph Leader as he smacked the head of the Chosen, who had begun to laugh hysterically. "As much as I like her, that woman is disturbingly clingy…"
"Where are we headed?" the Seraph Master of Lightning asked the President of the Lezareno Company.
"To the forests just outside of Altamira," Regal replied. He began to walk toward the elevator, "Follow me." The President's companions followed him, Mithos looking rather dejected while doing so.
Zelos leaned over to Yuan's ear and whispered, "He really is out of it; not one thing about how he should be the one in charge."
Yuan smirked, "I like this Mithos more."
Notes: First of all, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update. I have no excuse, unless you counte "Knifey is a lazy, lazy guy," as an excuse. As usual, I'm glad people are enjoying the story. You know... I never actually thought of the Grand Cardinals dressed in Team Rocket uniforms, but... Just thinking about it is hilarious! Magnius in a giant Meowth costume! YEA!