Chapter VIII: Training and Spirits

Day One

"Double Demon Fang!" the Chosen of Tethe'Alla yelled as he released two waves out of his blade at the opposing monster. It was knocked back by the force of the strike into the waiting Presea, who raised her blade and slammed it down as hard as she could, destroying it. "Too easy," Zelos smirked as he shook his finger cockily.

"Don't get to cocky, Zelos," Presea said as she smacked a monster that had pounced and was mere milliseconds away from landing on Zelos. The angel's eyes bulged open in shock at being so close to being harmed. "Why did I get paired up with you?" the Axe Blossom sighed while she cut another monster to shreds with her axe.

Zelos, having regained his smooth composure, stabbed a large worm in the head before preening his hair and answering. "So that I could win your undying love and affection my beautiful rose."

"Uggh… I told you to pay attention," Presea said as she once again cleaved a monster in two right before it could cut Zelos to ribbons.

"Ahahahaha! Holy Lance! Take that you pathetic inferior beings! Ahahah… AHAHAHAHAHA!" Mithos screeched as he destroyed creature after creature effortlessly.

"Is he normally like this?" asked Regal as he landed a kick directly in a bear's gut, causing it to fall over backwards. He then jumped into the air and came crashing down, feet first, yelling "Eagle Fall!"

Yuan spun his swallow around, hitting, and killing, numerous ladybugs before answering, "If you're referring to his sudden power trip, then yes, he normally is."

Mithos continued his rampage, cutting a bloody swath of destruction through the native beasts. "Retribution, fools! Status effects for everyone! Mwahahaha!"

Regal ducked under a large fist thrown by yet another bear, this one probably wanting to avenge its bear companion. The President of Lezareno then performed a kick to the bear's feet, causing it to lose its balance and topple over like an oversized bookshelf. He then kicked it in the head for good measure. "You know," Regal contemplated aloud, "It's like they're throwing themselves at him."

"Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! DIE! Begone everyone and everything! Righteousness shall prevail!" the Seraph Leader screamed, laying even more monsters to waste.

"I've always wondered what goes on in his head when he fights weak creatures like these…" Yuan said to no one I particular as he stabbed a wolf in the face.

"Durr, I are Yuan and I be stupid!" Yuan yelled as he charged at his liege and surrogate little brother.

"Hahahaha! Die, fool!" Mithos yelled as he grabbed Yuan by the head and emitted light from his hand, causing the poor angel to explode in a shiny, fantastic, blaze of glory.

"I have come to be slain by you, O Great Lord Yggdrasill-who-is-so-much-more-awesome-than-I-am," Kratos said as he kneeled before the leader of the angels.

"Who's the student now! Rejection!" Mithos screamed as he caused a dome of light to erupt from his body and kill the Seraph of Judgement.

"Who's the student now! Rejection!" Mithos screamed as he caused a dome of light to erupt from his body and kill the monsters that had surrounded him.

Yuan simply looked at the leader of Cruxis and shook his head, "I guess I'll never know what goes on in that disturbed mind of his…"

Day Two

"Kratos, would you mind going a bit faster?" the ruler of Castle Raptor asked coolly as he took a sip of his finally patented blood-red wine, or, as he had named it, "Kool Aid for Adults". The people at the patent office had tried to prevent his patent, on the grounds that Lloyd was technically not old enough to drink wine, but when they saw the business end of the Demon Falcon's sword, they had no choice but to reconsider.

"Yes, milord," Kratos replied as he continued to hammer a nail into a stone wall. There were a few moments of silence before Kratos spoke again, "Lord Lloyd, would it not be better to use mortar on this since it is a stone wall?"

"But this is so much more amusing," Sheena said as she absentmindedly fidgeted with a card in her fingers.

"Yes, Lady Sheena," Kratos sighed as he continued to attempt to hammer a nail into a stone wall. '… I had to have a son! I couldn't have had a daughter who would follow in Anna's footsteps and constantly worry about her husband! No, I had to have a son who wants to take over the world… Calm down, Kratos. This isn't like you. Stay calm…'

"Faster, Kratos!" Lloyd yelled as he threw one of his swords in Kratos's general direction.

Kratos looked at the blade that had hit the wall mere millimeters from his head. 'Hate!'

"Lightning Blade! Super Lightning Blade! Sonic Thrust!" the Chosen yelled as he made three lightning quick thrusts, the first two actually summoning lightning from the sky to strike the boar in front of him. "Burn, baby! Eruption!" he shouted as magma erupted from the ground to push the now dead boar up into the air. "My little Rose, I made us a nice roasted lu-unch!" he began in a sing-songy tone, "You love me now, huh!"

The Axe Blossom blinked a few times as she stared at Zelos in disbelief. He simply smiled, a cheesy shine on his teeth, as he placed the rather large, and now roasted, boar on an equally large plate that he seemed to have pulled from no where. "Zelos, how did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That plate, you weren't carrying it before…"

"Come now, darling, does it really matter?" Zelos said smoothly, "Let's just enjoy the meal and the alone time."

Presea looked at him skeptically for a few moments. She scratched the back of her head as she studied the Chosen's figure. Finally, she broke the silence, "There is a sixty percent chance you are actually a woman."

Zelos continued to smile his cheesy smile as Presea's words slowly sunk into his brain. Once it did, he daintily put the plate he had been carrying down, straightened to his full height, wiped the nonexistent dirt from his coat, and screamed, "What makes ya say that!"

"You were able to pull a rather larger object out of nowhere. That is a power exclusive to women such as myself. Therefore, there is a rather high chance that you are actually a woman." Presea nodded at the deduction she had just made while a large sweat drop appeared on the back of Zelos's head as he cocked an eyebrow and dropped his jaw in disbelief.

"No. Nononononononononononononono! I found it on a monster's corpse! Ya know those things carry the weirdest things!" Zelos reasoned. "I mean, really, what's a bear gonna do with 200 gald? What's a boar gonna do with a silver platter? Besides…" Zelos struck a pose to accentuate his manly qualities, "How could a guy this hot be a girl! Yeah, baby, looking good!"

"Ugh…"

Day Three

Colette sat in the corner of her cell, staring at the wall and generally moping. She had total right to, as her former friends had thrown her into said cell and were planning to conquer Aselia. She let out a sigh and brought her head closer to her knees, feeling totally dejected from the world. "Colette, are you alright?" came a female voice from another cell, "You haven't said I'm sorry in three hours, and that's not like you."

The former maid of Castle Raptor turned to the general direction the voice had come from before saying, rather harshly, "Leave me alone, Raine!"

The Professor looked down at her own legs in an attempt to organize her thoughts. She then got up from the rather uncomfortable bed she had been sitting on and walked to the bars of her cell, where she could barely see Colette sitting in the corner cell, her hair hanging in front of her face, which was already staring at the ground. Raine took a deep breath before speaking, "Colette, you have to face reality at some point, you can't-"

"Leave! Me! Alone!" the Tiny Angel yelled at her teacher, scooting even more into the corner.

Raine was momentarily overtaken by the shear negativity that Colette seemed to be emitting. After she regained her cool composure, she returned to contemplating what to say to her distraught student. "Colette, just listen to me for a moment-"

"I told you to leave me alone!"

At that moment, poor Raine's patience broke. "What do you think moping around in a cell is going to do! There's absolutely no point to it! Sitting here, staring at a wall, feeling sorry for yourself does not get you out of this cell! It does not make Sheena good person! And it does not make Lloyd love you! Use your brain for something useful!"

There was total silence as Raine's words sunk into Colette's head. The angel couldn't bring herself to look at her teacher's face, and faced the wall once more. Raine could hear the young girl sobbing quietly, and couldn't help but wonder if she had said the right thing.

Yuan swung his swallow like a baseball bat at the incoming giant ladybug. It went flying into the back of the Seraph Leader's head, and a loud thump could be heard as said Leader fell face flat into the dirt. "You did that on purpose!" Mithos barked.

"Err, no I didn't," Yuan replied. He scratched his chin for a moment while stabbing a giant caterpillar that was attempting to sneak up behind him. "Though, now that I've thought about it, it was pretty funny."

"You no good, dirty, rotten person you!" Mithos screamed as he started flailing his arms in anger, which ended up being a rather good defense against the creatures that were attempting to surround him.

"Aren't you an eloquent one?" the Seraph Master of Lightning said sarcastically as he smacked yet another ladybug.

"That—that right there—is the reason Martel didn't love you!" shrieked Mithos as he walked up to Yuan holding a glowing hand in front of his face.

Yuan rolled his eyes, "Oh for the love of—Martel was engaged to me. I proposed to her, she said yes, and our wedding was going to be the month after she died! We were in love!"

"Lies! Lies! As the leader of Cruxis, I hereby declare all your words lies!"

Yuan simply rolled his eyes again before hitting Mithos with the flat of blade and knocking the poor angel out.

"Did I miss something?" asked Regal, who had just finished slaying the seventeenth bear he had seen that day.

"No… Where did you get that?" questioned the Seraph Master of Lightning as he pointed to the new bearskin suit Regal was sporting. He was even wearing bearskin boots, greaves, and handcuffs.

"This? There are a lot of bears, and they are really easy to defeat. I was bored, and I made myself this."

Yuan took a closer look at the bear suit the President of the Lezareno Company wore. After examining it thoroughly, he spoke, "That's pretty good craftsmanship. You could probably make a nice amount of gald selling it."

Regal thought for a moment, looking at his new clothing. "Seems like Lezareno's got a new product line. Thank you for the idea, Yuan."

"Anytime."

Day Four

"So, my little rose," Zelos began, pulling laser blade out of a wolf, "What's it like being vice president of the largest company in Aselia?"

Presea pulled her axe out of another wolf and leaned on it. "Not bad, excluding Regal's angsting. It's got nice pay, and a great dental plan. No, great doesn't describe it's beauty."

"A great dental plan, huh?"

"No, a beautiful one," said Presea as she reached into her dress pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.

"Ya keep a copy of the dental plan with when you know you'll be fightin'?" Zelos asked as he took the paper from her.

Presea nodded her head, "It's my most precious possession. To not have it would be like losing apart of myself."

A notion crossed into the hormonally charged man's mind. He toyed with it a bit, refining it, and put it into action. "So, if I took this, would you—"

"No, I'd kill you first," interrupted Presea, shooting a death glare at Zelos.

The Chosen sighed, "So it's that good, huh?"

"Just look at it."

Zelos unfolded the paper and began to read it over. The farther he got, the more his eyes filled with tears of pure, unadulterated, joy. When he finished, he couldn't help but fall to the ground and cry at the shear greatness of that little piece of paper that contained a dental plan fit for gods themselves. "This… is the most beautiful thing I've seen… Well, except for me," he said as he pulled himself together.

"I told you."

"Yeah, ya did," Zelos agreed. Then another thought entered the Chosen's mind, this one much more benign than the previous one. "You realize you just admitted I was beautiful?" Zelos said slyly, moving his eyebrows up and down repeatedly.

Presea was taken aback by Zelos words, "I—I did no such thing!"

"Yes ya did, when you said, "I told you.", you were replying to a statement in which I said I was more beautiful than the dental plan. My logic is infallible!"

The Axe Blossom thought for a moment, thinking over her words carefully. "I suppose I did, and there's no denying that you are attractive…" she thought aloud.

"So does that mean-"

"No, Zelos."

"… Dammit!"

"Sacred powers, smite these twisted beings with my awesomely awesome power. Alright now, taste my incredibly cool and awesomely awesome Judgement!" Mithos yelled as beams of light came crashing down from above, killing multiple beasts at once.

Regal, just finished defeating, and skinning, another bear, looked in the direction of the creatures that had just exploded. He then looked at the leader of Cruxis. "Exactly why do you use the word awesome so much in the chants for your spells?"

"Er, cause I'm awesome. Simple really."

Regal shook his head in disdain, "Has anyone ever said that you think far too much of yourself?"

"…No… Unless you count that dead guy."

"You killed him!" Regal asked as his eyes widened in disbelief.

Mithos blinked a few times before the implication, which was so much implied as bluntly stated, sunk into his brain. "No! Of course not! He was died of old age! Most people don't live for thousands of years."

"Okay then," Regal sighed, "Good."

Day Five

"Lord Lloyd, I have finished the repairs seven hours ahead of schedule," Kratos said, bowing to his false liege.

"Done already?" Sheena whined, "I was just getting into it…"

"Is that so, Sheena dear?" Lloyd said after taking a sip of "Kool Aid for Adults".

"Of course, it was just starting to get entertaining."

The Demon Falcon got up from his throne and walked toward the wall that Kratos had just finished fixing. He took one sword out of his sheath and swung at it, causing a wave to shoot out from it, causing another hole to appear in the wall. "Fix it, and this time you have to use wooden pegs as nails."

"Oh joy!" Sheena shouted. "More suffering! Life is good."

"Yes it is, Sheena."

Kratos walked toward the entrance of the thrown room to find some wooden pegs, a grimace on his face. Just as he was about to leave, Sheena spoke, "Oh, and Kratos, you have until the end of the day to finish it." The poor knight only sighed and kept walking.

"Good idea," Lloyd said as he sat down on his thrown and took another sip of his blood red wine. The two of them looked at each other briefly before they both broke out into wild, uncontrolled, maniacal laughing. They kept going for a few seconds until they realized something, "Our music, you fools, our music!" Many of the court musicians in the orchestra promptly fell over, some of the horn players getting their french horns stuck on their head. After righting themselves, they began to play there maniacal melody and the Tyrants laughed with it.

Kratos turned around to look at his son and the woman who could be his daughter-in-law in a few months and sighed. "I couldn't have had a daughter…" he mumbled.

"Hey Yuan, can I have that cookie?" Mithos asked in a rather demanding tone.

"I would greatly appreciate it if you would get your own cookie from the blasted jar," replied the blue-haired Seraph as he glared at the blonde one.

Mithos pouted, "I'm the leader, I should not have to sully my hands by getting my own cookies, so give it to me!" Yuan just glared at the angel in front of him before taking a bite of his cookie and smirking at him. "… I hate you…" Mithos said as he reached for the cookie jar and took one out.

"These are delicious, Regal," the Seraph Master of Lightning said as he took another bite of his cookie.

Regal smiled, "Thank you. It's been a long time since I've had a chance to-"

"Sephiroth!" a voice shouted from behind the group that had been calmly eating a snack while sitting on a blanket.

The three looked at each other; each one expecting one of the other two to have an answer. "Sephi-who now?" they all said at once.

"I've got you now, Sephiroth!" the voice said, closer this time, and sounding like it was quickly advancing on the group.

"Who is this Sephiroth you speak of?" Regal asked into the air.

"Ahhhhhh!" the voice screamed as an oversized great sword came shooting down near Mithos. Yuan grabbed his swallow and held it up in a stance so that he was able to block the sword.

Mithos spun around abruptly, his hands glowing brightly. "Who dares to attack the royal head of the organization of Cruxis!" he yelled as he holds his hand threateningly close to the assailant's head.

The mystery assailant blinked a few times and then shook his head. "You're not Sephiroth… Damn mako messing with my eyes!" said a man who seemed to be in his late twenties. His hair was exceptionally spiky and as yellow as Mithos's and everything he wore was black, except for a small silver wolf-head pin on his chest. "Who are you?"

"I am Mithos Yggdrasil, and you are a worm whom I shall crush underfoot for such insolence!" the Seraph Leader yelled.

The assailant jumped backwards and held his sword in front of him, ready to fight. "You left me out of the last chapter!" he yelled, "It had a seven in it! I can't be left out of things with seven's in them!"

Regal, Mithos, and Yuan all looked at each other again, wondering if what in the world this man was talking about. They shrugged at each other in turn and realized that none of them knew what was going on. "Chapter? There are no chapters in life, except in the metaphorical sense of the word," Regal stated.

The assailant frowned, "You can't be this stupid! You are-"

"I have this feeling that if life had a fourth wall, this man was about knock down," Yuan said as he slowly began to advance on the man in front of them.

"My name is Cloud Strife and in accordance with my contract with Square, I shall defeat you and correct the grievous injustice you have committed!" the assailant shouted as he charged at our heroes.

Something clicked in the President of the Lezareno Company's head. "Contract? He must be a Summon Spirit. Perhaps he wants to test our strength."

"Good observation, Regal," Yuan began, "It's too bad we don't have a summoner with us."

"Have at you!" Cloud shouted as he swung his sword at the blue-haired Seraph. Yuan blocked the sword and jabbed his swallow in the ground in one motion. Using his swallow as a mounted pole, the Seraph swung on it, delivering a forceful kick to the assailant's face. Cloud reeled back from the blow, but recovered in just enough time to swat Yuan away with the rather large flat side of his blade. "I won't be able to hold back on you," he said as there was a click heard coming from his sword, "Hope you don't die!" He separated his sword into two and began to swing them wildly as he charged toward Yuan.

"Not so fast!" Regal roared, "Wolverine!" He delivered a savage kicking combo on the blonde warrior, knocking him out his charge and away from Yuan.

"Thanks, Regal," the Seraph Master of Electricity said as he got up off of the ground and walked over to him.

"Not a problem."

Yuan looked around to make sure that Cloud wasn't in earshot. He then whispered something into Regal's ear, who then nodded and ran off.

"Ray!" Mithos yelled, grabbing Yuan's attention and causing him to turn around and see the rays of light that had just missed the blonde assailant who had, in turn, just missed Yuan. "Pay attention, Yuan," Mithos said smugly, "This is why you're not the leader."

"Oh, shut up," he spat as he sprouted his wings and flew into the air. "Gods of the heavens, I call upon thee to unleash thy thunderous wrath upon my enemies! Lightning of the heavens, strike down! Indignation!" A dome of electricity surrounded Cloud and exploded in fantastic showing of power. "Take that!" Yuan beamed.

Cloud stood there feeling a surge of electricity charge through his body and hit every pain receptor in it. Despite the pain he felt, he put up a brave face, "It'll take more than that to defeat me!"

Yuan smiled again, "Wait for it…"

"Wait for what?" Mithos asked, feeling in the dark about something.

Suddenly a bear paw hit Cloud in the back of the head and he fell over, incapacitated. "That," Yuan said. Mithos blew a raspberry at him in an attempt to console himself as he still had no idea what was going on. "Nice job, Regal."

The bear pulled its fur off, revealing itself to be Regal. "Thank you, Yuan. I knew this suit would have a use to it."

"Regal's a bear!" Mithos yelled, unable to understand that Regal had disguised himself.

"No, Mithos, he was disguised as a bear."

"Oh…"

"Well, now that we've beat him, we need a summoner. Regal, you wouldn't happen to know any, would you?" Yuan asked.

"Ahem," Mithos said, though he was entirely ignored.

"I'm afraid not," Regal replied.

"Ahem," Mithos said again, and again he was ignored.

"If only one of us knew how to summon," Yuan thought out loud.

"Yes, if only…" Regal agreed, drifting into his own thoughts on the subject.

"AHEM!"

Yuan frowned and looked at the Seraph Leader. "What is Mithos?"

"I'm a summoner, remember?"

The blue-headed angel scratched his head and glared at Mithos. "You haven't summoned anything in four thousand years, why would I remember?" Mithos blew yet another raspberry at Yuan. "Such childishness… Anyway we'll have to wait until he's awake to form a pact with him."

"Cookies!" Mithos yelled as he returned to the sheet on the ground where their cookies lay.

"He really is pretty childish, isn't he?" Regal observed.

"Yes, yes he is."

Cloud slowly pushed himself off of the ground and looked around. "Where am I?" he groaned as he felt a large bump on the back of his head. He looked around at the forest clearing, slowly remembering that he had been rendered unconscious by a bear. "I probably would have won, too, if it weren't for that blasted bear… Guess it's time to go on my never ending search for a guy that I repeatedly kill but never stays dead." With that he began to walk off into the forest, but he was stopped by a man dropping down from above. The sight of the man, the one with blue hair and wings that had caused the giant explosion of electricity further jogged his memory, "No! I've failed you, Square! Angst!" he lamented.

Yuan sighed at the warrior's angsty display. "Not that I want another angst lord running around, but it's time to do your job, Mithos," he shouted.

Mithos floated his way behind Yuan, his face stuffed with cookies while he held the now empty jar of cookies. "You mmm don't telmm me what to mmmmm do!" he chewed.

"It is typically the polite thing to swallow your food before speaking, Mithos," Regal said as he stepped next the leader of Cruxis, shaking his head at said leader's lack of manners.

Mithos glared at Regal before gulping the rest of his cookies down, "Who asked you?"

"Angstastic Angst!" Cloud whined as he kneeled and began to pound his fists on the ground.

"Something about this seems familiar, but I can't place my finger on it," Regal ruminated as scratched his chin.

The two Seraphim stared at him in disbelief. They then stared at each other and back at him, expecting the President to realize the quite obvious fact he was missing. 'There's no way he's so oblivious to not realize that's exactly what he does on a regular basis…' they thought at the same time.

"For the love of the Cetra, ANGST!" Cloud yelled again, beating his fists with even greater intensity than before.

"Shut up so I can make a pact with you!" Mithos commanded. The blonde-headed great sword wielder immediately stopped his late teenage angsting and looked up at the ruler of Vinheim. "Now that I have your attention," Mithos began, clearing his throat, "I, Mithos, ask that thou annulst thy pact with Square and establish a new pact with me."

Cloud grew a depressed countenance once again. "Oh, my failure has forced them to refer to me with thou instead of you! Angst!"

"What's he talking about, that's part of the pact?" Mithos asked his companions, looking confused.

Yuan, noticing that Regal was still mumbling something about the familiarity of Cloud's angsting, realized that he'd have to tell Mithos. "You see, Mithos, thou is an old fashioned word that was used as "you" for the common class, while you itself was used for royalty. As time went on, thou was fazed out by you. By using thou instead of thou instead of you, it could be misinterpreted that you think he's lower than you, or that you are asserting the subservient nature of the summon spirit party in a summoner-summon spirit relationship," he explained. Mithos, though his strength far surpassed that of the admirable level, was still a rather clueless boy at heart, and stared at his comrade blankly. "You good, thou bad," Yuan sighed.

"… Oh," said Mithos, understanding dawning on him like a turtle that had just woken up and began to walk around; very, very slowly. "Get up you pathetic, whiny, good for nothing and answer me!"

Cloud stopped his incessant whining and rose to his feet as if nothing had ever bothered him. He thought for a moment before giving his reply, "Seeing as I have failed to complete the contract I have signed with SquareEnix, I suppose I can form a pact with you."

"Good," Mithos said. The group of men then stood in silence for about five minutes, well, silence if you ignored Regal's going-on's about vague similarities between himself and Cloud. Finally, irritated, Mithos broke the silence, "Well, aren't you going to leave now?"

"Leave, I thought I had formed a pact with you," Cloud said, feeling rather puzzled.

"Your supposed to leave and we'll call you when we need you."

"Oh… Well then, see you later," the now contracted summon spirit said as he departed.

A few more minutes passed before Mithos decided that the silence was too much, "Well, I'm bored, let's go back to the hotel," he suggested.

"Good idea," Yuan agreed.

"We just ran into some blonde-haired guy with a huge sword back there," Presea began as she and Zelos came from the direction in which Cloud had headed towards, "Who was he?"

"A new ally," Yuan stated, "A summon spirit."

"Nice," said Zelos.

"When should we attack Castle Raptor?" Presea asked.

Yuan contemplated the question momentarily before answering, "If we wait until late at night, Lloyd and Sheena may be asleep, meaning we'll have a higher chance of success."

The Axe Blossom agreed, "Yes, if wait, our chances will increase to approximately eighty percent."

Zelos grew ecstatic at the news. "All right, that's pretty good!" He sprouted his wings and lifted himself into the air, "What are we waiting for? The sooner we get back, the sooner it's tomorrow night, and the sooner we save my lovely lass!"

"I hope you still have that energy if we end up in a fight tomorrow," Presea said as she, Mithos, and Yuan began to follow Zelos, who had already flown off.

A few moments passed as Regal stood in the clearing thinking. "I know there's something familiar about that man…" he trailed off as he looked around the forest, "… Hey, where did he go? For that matter, where did everyone else go?" He looked a little into the distance and noticed his companions walking into the setting sun, quite a ways off. He began to run after them, "Wait up!" he yelled, to no avail.

Notes: As usual, I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story. Just for everyone to know, there is actually a very loose plot here, and I do actually think of at least ten percent of this stuff before I start writing it. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the next chapter.