Interview 3: Koopa

In the middle of a theme park, the minis- and Toad were getting prepared for the next interview.

MM: Toad.

Toad: Yeah?

MM: How exactly did the cannon fuse get lit?

Toad: Uhh… the other minis- did it!

Other Minis-: WHAT!!!

MM: They would never do that! Now then, tell the truth!

Mini Mario transforms his hat into a flamethrower.

MM: Or I'll burn your head and smoke you like a cigarette!

Passer-byers: oooooOOOOOOOOOoooooohhhhh!!!!

Toad: Uhh… Alright it was me!!! I did it! I lit the fuse! I lit it to see if the blast could destroy you!

Passer-byers and Other Minis-: -Gasp-

MM: … Well thank you for telling the truth. But singe you tried to destroy me, the Co-host job will be taken of the 'Interview Cycle' and be permanently given to you!!! MMMWWWAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Toad: -Gasp- NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-3 hours later-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MM: You about done?

Toad: -Sigh- Yeah alright. -Quiet sobbing-

MM: Good. And a bit more good news. Every time someone reviews, or "comments" our show, we get 100$. The first 100 I used to buy a building for the interviews. The other 200 hundred I'll use to pay you guys. Happy payday!!!

Mini Mario hands an envelope to all the of workers. The Minis- get 50$ ech. Toad gets nothing. Nada. Zero.

Toad: Hey!!! How come I got nothing?!? Nada?!? Zero?!?

… Copycatter.

MM: 'Cause. You just started PERMANETLY working here. An' remember? The Interviewee workers get paid by not getting killed. There. Oh, and by the way, since you're a PERMANENT interviewee worker you'll get paid by money AND by not getting me to say "I KII OU'!!!!" and then killing you.

Toads eye starts to twitch. How do you spell twitch by the way? Hey now, I just spelled it! Twice! Yippee!!!

Toad: -Sigh- Oh well, guess I'll just have to tell the princess I quit. -Starts crying uncontrollably-

MM: You think I would give in to what you're doing?

Toad: -Stops- Uhhh…………. Ya?

MM: If you didn't stop I would've.

Toad starts crying uncontrollably again

ML: Eh… MM?

MM: Ya?

ML: These three would like to become security guards like me.

ML points to Mini-Yoshi (MY), Mini-Donkey Kong (MDK), and Mini-Wario (MW).

MM: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm………….-10 minutes later- ……………………….Okay!

MP: MM, the interviewee is here.

MP points to Koopa.

MM: Ah, yes, Koopa! Now I do believe you've read the 'Interview Cycle' right?

Koopa: yessiree!

MM: Good! Now then follow me onstage and sit in the green interviewee chair.

Koopa does what he's been told to do. Toad reluctantly goes onstage to and sits in the orange Co-host chair. MM sits in the Red Host chair behind the blue table. Hooray for colors!

MM: Now then, MK and MT, start us off please.

MK & MT: In 5…4….3…..

MM: Hiya ev'rybody!

Everybody watching and/or reading: Hiya Dr.Nick!

MM: Umm… Okay then! Today I'm-

Toad: WE!

MM: Oh yeah!! Today we're interviewing Koopa! Please Give him a warm welcome!

People start throwing things that are on fire at Koopa. He takes the abuse. Whatever that is. Goes off to find a dictionary

Toad muttering to self: Put on a happy face. Put on a happy face.

Abuse: Blah, blah, blah… Wha? Oh! Ummm… Toad's face starts to crack under the pressure of putting on a happy face.

Toad speaking in normal pitch: How can you take such abuse?

Koopa: Well, you se-

MM: Woah, woah, woah! Wait a minute! What makes you think YOU can ask the first question? Now I get to ask two questions.

Toad: ……..(OH YOU FU-) Let's carryon shall we? Heh, heh.

MM: That's better. Carry on, Koopa.

Koopa: Well, you see, Bowser treats us very cruelly so all the whipping and he does to us helps us overcome pain.

MM's eye twitches. Toad's eye twitches. ML's, MK's, MP's, MY's, MT's, MW's, and MDK's eye twitches. Everyone who's watching/reading's eye twitches. My eye twitches.

MM: Ummmmmmmmmmmm…….. Oooooookaaaayyyyyyy. That was a little too much to hear. Now then, Quest.1: What do the colors of your species' shells mean?

Koopa: Green means stupid, Red means smart and fiery, Blue means lightweight and kindhearted (for some), yellow means strong and heavy.

MM: Quest.2: What color is your shell?

Koopa looks at Toad, who shrugs.

Koopa: Red.

Toad: My turn! Quest.3: why are there some good koopas, and some are bad.

Koopa: All koopas began on the Koopa Clan. When a koopa kills 50 Mushroomians, they get the choice to sign a paper that says they choose to become a Mushroomian. If they have kids, they to can stay a Mushroomian but can go to the Koopa Clan anytime they want. Why do you think all the Mushroomian suicide hotlines are owned by koopas in the Koopa Clan?

MM: Yeah, I always wondered about that. Anyw-Oh for the love of--- forget it.

MM was interrupted by the callers machine.

Toad: Ya! Two callers today!

Toad attempts to press the first caller light, but MM presses it first.

MM: Ha!

Punio: Hillo!

Koopa: Picalo!

Punio: Heh, heh, My name's Punio and I have a question. "Why are there two kinds of koopas? You know, Bowser, and his kids, and every other koopa.

Koopa: Well, the first magikoopa, who I heard was Kamek, tried a spell on the soon to be king, Morton Sr. an ordinary koopa. Since Kamek was still young and just started wizardry, the spell malfunctioned and turned Morton Sr. into what Bowser and his kids are.

Punio: Really? Cool! You just revived my wanting to learn in history!

Koopa: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MM:… Well now, Punio, if you watched/read the last interview, and read/watched when Goombella called, then you know what I'd say but don't want to.

Punio: I did. Bye!

Koopa: Picalo yo!

The light stops blinking. Toad manages to press the second one before MM.

Toad: Ha!

Raykura: Hi! My name's Raykura and I have a question: What do Magikoopa training courses involve?

Koopa: This isn't really a Magikoopa interview but I can still answer it with this Magikoopa training brochure. "The Magikoopa training courses include: 1. Transformation/Multiplication; 2. Geometry; 3. Finding the right wand; 4. How To Ride A Broom; 5. Defense Boosts; 6. Invisibility; 7. Attack Boosts; 8. Speed Boosts; 9. Healing; 10. Finding Your Color." The first 4 are mandatory. You need to choose ONE or ZERO of the next 5. The last one is also mandatory, but only done when you complete the other courses.

MM: Now Raykura, if you want to be interviewed, you need to choose a character from Mario. Okay?

Raykura: Okay. C ya!

Red light stops blinking.

MM: Next time we interview goomba. An' for those of you who chose a character, your character will be interviewed. Not you. End-

MM gets hit with a 4w.

Toad: -Transmission!