-Dead Inside-

-ElvenHope-

:o:O:o:

Part Seven

When Elladan woke he was both confused and annoyed. He was not at all sure how or why he had fallen asleep, but once he saw the half eaten tray of food on a small wooden table at the end of the tent everything caught on pretty quickly.

He had been eating - that was the problem. He hated healers sometimes… Realising the irony of the thought he wondered sadly what his father was doing now.

What anger he had had for the elder elf had ebbed away and now it was replaced with guilt. He had dragged Elrohir out here, he had bargained with his brother's life and now his twin was paying the price for it all. The few injuries that he had did not compare with the state his brother was in.

In fact the elder twin was probably already beginning to heal. Elladan tried to sit up, but realized that maybe he wasn't as well as he thought he was when one of the lacerations across his back burned. Still, he thought gritting his teeth, he was far better off than Elrohir at the moment.

What a wonderful thing hind-sight was, he knew now why his father had been so adamant about Elrohir and he staying put. Celeborn would have been able to save his daughter so easily and Elrohir would not be in the mess he was now.

Glancing across at his twin Elladan felt guilt well up inside him again. Elrohir was not breathing well, and he was still deathly pale.

Elladan rested his head in his hands massaging his temples, and unknowingly mimicking his father. Elrohir could not handle the trip to Imladris, he knew that, and his mother had to get back home as soon as possible. That only really left one option. Elladan had to go with his brother to Lorien and he would have to pray that the Valar helped his mother.

He stood up and moved rather gingerly over to sit on his brother's bed staring at his twin's misty eyes willing him to wake up.

"We'll get through this won't we 'Ro?" his voice was not as strong as he would have liked and shook slightly with the threat of tears. How on earth could this be happening? Two members of his family were in critical condition and he was in the middle of nowhere without his father there to help him. Glorfindel and Celeborn were there, but both were too concerned with their patients to worry about him.

A silver tear ran down his cheek as he reached for his brother's hand somehow hoping to will the life back into the other elf. He wanted to be with his mother, he wanted her to tell him that everything would be alright, but the memory of her haunted face continually resurfaced in his mind. The memory of her quaking under his touch and pushing him away, the tables had been turned on him that moment, for some reason he had always thought that she could withstand anything.

Everything had suddenly become far too hard.

:o:O:o:

"I need to go and check on the twins," Celeborn decided releasing his daughter's hand and standing up stiffly.

Glorfindel nodded. "I am leaving now, I am well rested, and would not be able to sleep if I tried."

"Are you sure?" Celeborn asked turning blue grey eyes on the other elf. "It is dark and the orcs will be out."

"If any of them have dared to come within three leagues of this camp I will be surprised." He replied. "And besides Asfaloth is a swift horse, I doubt many would be able to catch him."

"Aye," Celeborn replied. "Well just be careful mellon-nin keep your eyes open. May the Valar be with you."

"And with you," Glorfindel replied and left the tent calling for a healer to watch over Celebrían whilst Celeborn waited.

When finally the other elf entered the tent the Elven Lord had very little to say about Celebrían's condition. As far as he could tell her condition had neither improved nor worsened, but he was far too tired to notice any small signs that an experienced healer might pick up on. Unfortunately they didn't have one single experienced healer at hand, most had taken up healing as a second profession as it was always useful in battle. He had brought one good healer with him, but even that elf did not square up to his son in law.

Leaving the tent feeling and almost walking in a dream more than reality - though it was not a good one - Celeborn made his way to his grandsons' tent. It took a moment for the elf to understand what was wrong. His mind was reeling with thoughts and possibilities that it could barely stand to process anything else. But when he finally understood he felt his heart jump and his stomach sank into his toes.

"Oh Elladan," Celeborn cooed moving over to the boy and sitting next to him on Elrohir's pallet pulling the younger elf close. "It's alright."

Elladan clung onto his grandfather thankful for the sudden support and nestled his head in the older elf's chest. He suddenly felt stupid for crying and yet he couldn't bring himself to let go of the elder elf and wipe away the tears.

After a long silence, he managed to and swiped at his eyes angrily swallowing to clear his voice from tears before asking;

"Is Nana alright?" His voice sounded hopeful, but his eyes showed that he knew the answer. "Is she any better?"

"I could see no change in her pen-neth," Celeborn replied. "I am not a healer, I do not understand these things."

"She has not woken then?" Elladan whispered worry running up his spine.

"I am afraid not," Celeborn answered. "Glorfindel has set out to tell your father and we are to make our move at dawn. As you already know Elladan your brother is in a serious condition, and I would prefer it if he were taken to Lorien. What do you think? I will not deny that you go with your mother, I just fear for Elrohir's health."

Elladan looked at his brother's pale face and nodded slowly. "You are right grandfather, he has to get help, we should go to Lorien."

Elladan looked resigned to the fact, there were dark rings under his eyes and he seemed paler than normal if that was possible. He had never seen Elladan like this, never seen either of the twins with a sparkle in their eyes and a smile on their lips, it was most unsettling.

The dull eyes seemed lost in other thoughts, an indefinable mist swirling through them and his hands were clenched into fists in his lap.

"What are you thinking?" Celeborn asked the boy wanting to help and not knowing how. What Elladan was thinking was extremely obvious it was on all of their minds, but maybe there was something else that was bothering the boy, or maybe talking about it would help.

Elladan's forehead creased. "I am thinking lots of things," he answered his voice distant. "I regret everything, I made Elrohir come out here, I bullied him into it-"

"Do not think so highly of yourself Elladan," Celeborn chided. "You and your brother are evenly matched and nothing could have made Elrohir want to come any more than you did. Elrohir just-"

"Thinks first?" The elder twin asked hotly. "I know he does, Elrohir is clever. Ada was right, both of them were and I didn't listen. This is all my fault."

Celeborn could have rolled his eyes. Trust Elladan to blame himself. The boy was still young, though he was considered an adult now he would always be young in the other elf's eyes. Celeborn did not understand how Elladan could blame himself, he was also filled with self loathing at that moment, and didn't really know how to make the boy feel any better about himself.

"It's not your fault Elladan," Celeborn sighed putting an arm around the youth.

"But I should have just listened-"

"Elladan you and Elrohir intervening when you did may just have saved your mother's life," Celeborn said pulling some of the stray hair out of his grandson's face. "Now I do not want to hear another word of this. Are you hungry? Do you want to rest?"

"No, I'm fine I'm just going to sit here," Elladan answered.

"Well I won't force you to do anything, but I would advise you to get some rest, you and Elrohir will be leaving for Lorien at dawn."

:o:O:o:

The sunrise did nothing to still Elladan's mind like it would have done when he was little. Back when his mother's arms could chase away all the monsters in one second, back when just the presence of an elder family member would have made him feel safe.

Elladan was practically asleep as he walked, a slight cause for concern, but not a large one. Especially as it was possible for an elf to be half asleep and walk at the same time - though in Elladan's experience he had ended up walking into one of the many streams in the last homely house. Not when he had Elrohir and his mother to think about. Elrohir being carried on a stretcher by two elves. Elrohir had still not woken and it was worrying Elladan. He was mentally scanning his mind for any trace of information on Elrohir's condition and coming up with nothing. He was not as good a healer as Elrohir or his father and it was his twin who prided himself on his ability to remember nearly everything he read, not Elladan.

The Peredhil sighed trying to resist the urge to just drop dead and sleep. He had barely slept last night and though elves had a good stamina he was mentally and physically drained. Lorien was nearly a week away and somehow he didn't think he could make it that far. More to the point, however, could Elrohir?

A/N: Wow, it's been a long time, but I'm back and updating!