Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill, any of the characters, storylines, or actors. I would love to keep Sophia and James for myself though. LOL. I also do not own the song Right Here by Staind which inspired this story title.
A/N: This is my first fiction so go easy on me, but I would like to know your honest opinion and tell me if I should keep writing. This will be mostly BL and NH with the rest of the characters. This part has Nathan's POV. I will have Haley and Brooke's coming up. And maybe Peyton if I feel like it. LOL.
Thanks for reviews:
April- Aw I'm special. I feel so loved. Thanks for reading and I hope you like this NH chapter. All for you babe. LOL. And I love Jake as well so I promise to bring him back. I just have to figure out a sneaky and original way. Love ya!
Photobooth romance- Don't worry Peyton is no threat in my story. I'm had enough of that crap. She might cause some drama though but mainly due to Brooke's insecurities.
Jen- I know it sadly won't go like this but that is why I am writing this fic. It's my dream world. And glad I am keeping you from not hating Peyton.
Brucasfanatic- I would have liked Lucas to go to Peyton as well but I just thought this was more realistic. Don't worry BL will have a very good talk I assure you.
Dayz- I'm glad you enjoyed that passage. It's one of my favorites as well. I loved BP friendship and love Brooke to pieces so am always glad to have Peyton rave about how great a person she is.
Thanks also to Ashley, Brucas4ever, Tears4Chris, Hales Buff Carter and othbaby08 for reviewing! It really helps girls and makes me update quicker!
Now onto the story.
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Right Here
Chapter 2: Always By Your Side
Nathan POV
As I look around the church, I realized this is the first time I have actually been inside. My family has never really been the religious type. Well actually we've never really been the family type either. When your mom is gone all the time and your dad is the devil both concepts are kind of hard to grasp. My father has always told me that religion is for the weak and stupid. That it is only those people that need something to believe in. He said that I was special and would make it on my own. That no one made your destiny except you. Sound nice huh? That's what I thought too until I got old enough to know better. Till I got old enough to realize that God was just another threat to Dan Scott. That he didn't want you to have any other beliefs but his. Soon I figured out that I wasn't creating my own destiny, but his. At least the one he had never been able to have and always wanted. That he wasn't doing it for me, but for himself. He didn't want God controlling my choices because he wanted to do the controlling.
And I did everything he wanted until Haley came along. I look over at her to see her holding Karen's hand and trying to calm her down. That was just like Haley. Pretending to be strong when it was eating her up inside. It reminds me of last year when Lucas got into the car accident and Haley shut me out. Granted I had been a complete ass and deserved it, but still. She wouldn't talk to anyone or even go visit Lucas. This must be just as hard on her. Especially now with her parents not around, she has to loose a man she has been close with since she was eight years old. But there is something different this time. Me.
I am here for her and she knows she can count on me. Doesn't she? She doesn't have to put on this act. We both know she doesn't have to say anything for me to know what's going on with her, but I would like her too. I want to help her and do what's best for her. That's all that I care about right now. And she is being so stubborn. No wonder her and Lucas are best friends because they are just a like. Thinking they have to be strong for everyone. But I guess that's what I love about her too. She has such a selfless and caring soul.
I think the real thing that's bothering me is not why Haley can't open up to me, but why I can't open up to her either. Just seeing her hold it all in reminds me I am not dealing with it either. I lost someone too. Shouldn't it bother me as well? I mean he was my uncle. Can I even call him that? I didn't know him at all. It was just another thing my dad didn't let me do. Over the years Keith had always tried to get to know me. But every time he got too close Dad just pushed him further back. It was like he knew Keith was a better man than him and didn't want me to figure it out. He also thought Keith was one of those weak men and didn't want me to become him.
The truth was I always knew Keith was the better man and my dad was the one I didn't want to become. That was just another ploy for Dan Scott to control everyone and everything around him. I look over to see him in the next pew with my grandparents wiping what could only be a fake tear from his eye. He wasn't human and monsters didn't cry. For a minute it almost looks like he is happy Keith is dead. Like it is one more person gone that placed some kind of threat to him. I thought he would be sad that he could no longer make Keith miserable and ruin his life. What a sick bastard.
I have tried to make a clean break from him over and over again, but somehow I always manage to get sucked back in to his evil web of lies and torture. That's the one thing Lucas should be happy about. He never had Dan to smother him to death. He had someone who really loved him no matter what. He had Keith. Oh man. How selfish was I being? Lucas didn't have Keith anymore. Am I seriously complaining when Lucas lost the only man that was every really a father to him? I feel so bad for him. I really think my dad should be the one not Keith. Death has tried to take him twice already but somehow he escaped it. Why couldn't Keith escape it? I think God didn't want Dan and sent him to hell. But when he got there the devil didn't want him either or sent him back to do his bidding. But Keith was a good and honest man. He was someone who could help people in a better place.
Keith helped me find a job and get a car. He showed me that decent men really could exist. He showed me the man I wanted to be. For myself and most of all for Haley. Now it's too late and it's my own fault. I could have tried harder to get to know him but I didn't care. All I cared about was my own life. I had started to become Dan and I will not let that happen. I can't let that happen. Like Lucas said to me before the Championship Game, it's my chance to change it and start over with Haley. I have my own life now and a wife who I love. I am going to make it right. We have to not keep anything from each other. That had gotten us in trouble before and I am not going to let that happen again. She's my shining star. She is the one to brighten my dark world with her heart and smile. Having her life be in danger and not knowing where she was horrified me. Being held hostage made me think about how I could loose her at any minute. It woke me up to what my life would be like without her. Something I already had to go through because of my only jealousy and insecurities. It had been the worst time of my life and I never want to be in that place again.
Since then I have become a bigger and better man. She made me what I am and she is the only one who knows how to love me. And that is all I need. She is all I need. I look at her again and pull her into my arms. She sees how much I need her and leans in to whisper, "I'm always by your side." I smile and hold her closer just breathing her in. I am so lucky to finally be living with her again. I get such a warm and homey feeling seeing her stuff all around or seeing her just sitting on the couch in her pajamas. It just feels normal again. No not normal. I never wanted to be normal with her. It feels special again. There are no more lonely and miserable nights alone in an empty house.
Haley brings the color and light into my life and my world. She brings more happiness and tenderness than I ever thought could exist in my house. It was a feeling it never had. This whole time she's been looking at me as if she knows I am thinking about her. Doesn't she know I am always thinking about her? She is first in my mind. I take her head into my hands and kiss her forehead before leaning against it. I no longer am worried about us. If we have survived everything else and came out stronger than ever, then we will make it through this. We can overcome everything together. Always and Forever.
Now that I don't have Haley and I to worry about my minds fills with thoughts of Lucas. He is after all my brother and we've become cool again. I no longer hold a grudge against him for investigating my dad or visiting Haley. He was only doing what he thought was right and best for everyone. Even me. But I know that when it comes to here and now, he is not doing what is best for himself. He hasn't been looking good lately. And I don't just mean since Keith's death. That would be understandable considering his loss, but this is more than that. For a while now he has looked very pale with an almost yellowish hue to his skin. He also had the darkest set of bags I had ever seen. I know something deeper is wrong. I have to think of a way to get it out of him. I even asked him yesterday at the Rivercourt, but he said he was fine. He sure as hell didn't look fine passed out on the ground….
TBC
Sorry for such short chapters. I figure this way I can update more.