Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill, any of the characters, storylines, or actors. I would love to keep Sophia for myself though. Lol. I also do not own the song Right Here by Staind which inspired this story title.
A/N: This is my first fiction so go easy on me, but I would like to know your honest opinion and tell me if I should keep writing. This is a NH, BL, and JP story. So yes Jake is coming back. Expect him soon. I had both Nathan and Lucas's POVs so here is Haley. The next part is Nathan again, but then comes Peyton. Please continue reading. Someone asked me if this story was always going to be flashbacks. The answer is no. I am just getting everyones feelings in while they are at the funeral and then it will move on. But yes do expect a few more flashbacks before I am finished.
Thanks to everyone who had reviewed the last chapter! Feedback makes me happy and then I update sooner. Sorry I hadn't updated in over a week. I went to Wilmington for the Charity Basketball game and have been busy looking for a job ever since I got home. Real life sucks. Anyway on with the next part. It is short but I have more ready to go so should update again over the weekend.
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Title: Right Here
Author: Calla
Chapter 5: Memories
Haley's POV
I look at Keith lying in the casket and can't help but think that he died alone. Well not really alone. He had Karen, Lucas, and even me. But he never got the chance to share his life with someone and have a family of his own. I know that is what he wanted more than anything. I look over at Nathan sitting there so tall and strong for the rest of the family. He is everyone else's crying shoulder and protector. Look how handsome he looks in his suit. Is that wrong to be thinking about how good he looks? I'm just so lucky I have Nathan. People say we were too young to get married or know what true love is, but I always knew that was wrong. I say find who you want to spend the rest of your life with now and make your dreams come true because you never know when it will be your last day. If you wait till you're older to have everything be right it might never happen.
I can't believe it was only a year ago that I met Nathan. Well I knew of him. At least who I thought he was. I thought he was just Mr. Popular. Another arrogant, selfish hot shot who threw touchdowns. Boy how wrong I was. There was so much more to him that only he would let me see. People saw him as just another dumb jock, but Nathan never fit into that mold. He is so much smarter than people give him credit for. He had such amazing potential to be this great man. And guess what….he is. Underneath that strong exterior is a heart of gold. His life just wasn't his own, but being controlled by Dan.
How many lives does Dan have to ruin before he stops this madness? He's caused pain to all 3 of the men I have ever loved besides my father. And I am sure if he was around, he'd hate Dan too. He sucks the life out of everyone until they have nothing let. That's what he did to Nathan, Lucas, and Keith. If only Keith had been able to break free sooner and be able to experience the happiness he deserved. He was one of the best men I had ever known. No, he's not past tense. He is one of the best men I will ever know and he will always have a place in my heart. I know he is looking down on all of us right now and smiling because he is in a better place. A place free of pain and evil where Dan can't humiliate him 24/7.
I am so grateful of the person Nathan has become in spite of Dan. A person who gives you everything and never holds back. I only wish I could give him the same, but I can't. I am keeping inside of me a secret that will rock the world of him and everyone around us. What do I do? Lucas has been my best friend for almost 10 years and he is killing himself. There is nothing I can do about it unless I want to betray his trust. But does trust mean anything if the person is dead? No, I can't let that happen. After loosing Keith I know how important life and the ones around me are. Lucas has always been my best friend and I can't have anything happen to him. And Nathan would kill me if he found I had been hiding this. He and Lucas had just gotten close again. I can't imagine what the thought of his brother being sick would do to him. Doesn't Lucas see that none of us can afford to loose anyone else? Especially not Karen. She has been locked away in her room since this happened and no one can reason with her. Keith was such a huge part of her life and now Lucas is all she has. How can Lucas be this selfish?
Keith, Karen and Lucas had been my home away from home, my second family since I was eight years old. Whenever I had a fight with one of my siblings or was being disgusted by my parents having sex in the next room, I could go to them for comfort and normalcy. That was a hard thing to come by when you were raised by Jimmy and Lydia James. Don't get me wrong, they are great parents and support everything I do. Hell they even let me marry Nathan at sixteen years old, but they aren't what I would call normal. They are free spirits and live their own way of life. And sometimes as a kid that was hard to deal with. It's still hard to deal with. I mean what parents leave their seventeen year old daughter to be on her own? I guess the type of girl who thought she was adult enough to handle marriage. But even with them gone, I always knew that Keith and Karen would be there if I needed anything. And they always were, at least until now. But I still have Nathan and Lucas to look out for me. Who does Karen have?
I remember just hanging at Karen's Café eating dinner with Keith, Karen, and Lucas. Well more like inviting myself, but they never minded. They always made me feel like I was welcomed and like I belonged. I never felt that way in a family of 6 brothers and sisters. I was always competing for attention and never got it. But Keith had this way of making you feel important and special. I would come to his auto shop even when Lucas wasn't around and he never once told me he was too busy. He would pop the hood to whatever car he was working on and explain to me what was wrong with it. Of course as a little girl I couldn't care less about cars, but he would talk to me like I understood what he was saying. He never treated me like I was a stupid kid. I felt like just one of the guys and that was a great feeling.
I never told anyone this but I always had a school girl crush on Keith. I looked up to him and imagined that one day I would marry him. At least someone like him. Hey I was young but not naïve. I now look over at Nathan and realize that little girls dream came true. Nathan was the man Keith would have always wanted his son to be. And although Nathan didn't know him the way I did they had developed a closeness in the past few months. Keith showed Nathan how to be a good man and I know Nathan felt lucky to share the same genes as him. He was no longer ashamed of the name Scott. A name I never associated with Dan, but with the great soul that was Keith. I can't stop thinking about what I found yesterday and how it made all these memories come flooding back.
Flashback
I woke up from my nap actually feeling rested for the first time in 48 hours. I look around for Nathan before I remember that he went out for a jog. I want to surprise Nathan by having the rest of my stuff unpacked by the time he comes back. He deserves a break. We both do. All we have been doing lately is thinking of what could have happened and worrying about the other. Nathan has been obsessing about keeping me close so he will never loose me. But neither of us have been facing what has happened in our family. I don't dare say the word family to Nathan though. Whenever I do he says, "You're my family now Hales. I don't have anyone else and I don't need anyone else." And despite the fact that I feel tingles down my spine whenever I hear those words, I know it's him avoiding a reality he doesn't like to think of. Without a positive role model in his life, Nathan must be even more scared of becoming like Dan. He doesn't know that he could never be Dan in a million years. Nathan actually has a soul unlike his father. And when I say father I use the term loosely. More like the man that belittled and pushed him his whole life. But doesn't he realize he has Lucas now too?
As I'm sorting through the boxes I see one labeled "personal". I think it is just what I need for a little pick me up. Forget all the bad memories and remember the good. Plus I know there will be no reminder of Dan in sight. I guess that's one good thing out of him being a bad father. Wow I haven't seen some of this stuff in forever. I have this habit of collecting things and just throwing them in the back of my closet. I pick up a stack of pictures and begin to look through them. The first one is of Peyton, Brooke, and I at the first Sparkle Cheer Classic when I filled in for Theresa. I still can't believe I let Peyton rope me into that one, but I actually had a great time. I actually got to know the girls I had only judged from a far and see what amazing spirits they had. Funny to think that a year later I would be one of the "superficial bimbos". I never thought I would associate let alone be friends with these people. And I would have rather slit my wrists than be roommates with Brooke Davis who was the biggest bitch of them all. Or so I thought. Had she changed or I changed? It was probably both.
Now I truly understand the saying "never judge a book by its cover". Brooke was definitely a surprise. Behind that image of what everyone sees is a sweetheart that is just scared of being vulnerable and getting hurt. We had a lot more in common that I thought. She has become one of my best friends and I don't know where I would be without her. She even gave me a place to live. As my mom would say, I could have turned to a life of prostitution and been sleeping in the gutter. When Lucas first started dating her I thought he was crazy. Besides the physical beauty I thought she had nothing going for her. I had actually wanted him to be with Peyton. And now I shudder at the thought. I love Peyton to death, but she and Lucas are too much a like. They are like the same half. Brooke and Lucas on the other hand are two halves that make each other whole. They are just like me and Nathan. No one thought we would work because we were too different, but sometimes sugar and spice go together very nice. Brooke brings out the spark in Lucas like Nathan does in me. I only hope that Peyton can find that kind of love again, and not with Lucas. They made each other miserable. And then there was Jake. She was so happy with him for the first time in her life and then it was all taken away. And God knows how much she needs someone right now, maybe more than the rest of us.
I flipped to the next picture and saw the group during Dare Night. It was so hard now to remember a time when life had been so easy and carefree. Of course we all had our own problems, but they were nothing compared to what we were dealing with now. It was before our innocence had been swept away. There had been no Chris or music tour for Nathan and I, no gunshot wound or second mom dying for Peyton, no HCM for Lucas, and where Brooke's biggest problem was being annoyed by Felix. Jimmy and Keith were still alive and we thought they had all the time in the world.
What am I doing? This is cheering me up? I put the stack of pictures down and continued to look through the box. I picked up a frame and turned it over. It was a picture of Keith, Lucas, and I on a sailing trip. I must have dropped the box in the move or something because there was a crack in the glass right on Keith's face. It actually looked like he was crying and before I knew it so was I. Tear after tear dropped on the frame until I couldn't contain my emotions any longer.
TBC