Btw:I did use quotes from Alias and Buffy, hence the whole "uber inspiration" and "used parts" bit. If you didnt understand that disclaimer, i clarified it here...last thing i want is to try and pass off someone else's work as mine, that is called plagiarism and it is frowned upon in most societies (Depp in Charlie and the chocolate factory)...anyways, before i got sidetracked, I know, Joss Whedon is god and no one can even try to compete with him(I forgot you cant really use sarcasm over the internet…whoops)…I usually write a disclaimer on the first chappy but I forgot on this one so, here art thou standard disclaimer: In my fics I use other TV show things, so if you see any really close resemblance of stuff then, well, it aint mine, its JJ's and Joss', they rock my world, I use songs as well, so if you see any of those, unless they are my songs, kudos to the peeps who wrote them….anyways onto the fic:

Song is The Scientist by Coldplay

0>0>0>0>0>0>0>0>

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are,
I had to find you, tell you I need ya,
And tell you I set you apart,
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start,
Running in circles, coming in tails,
Heads on a science apart,

Funerals weren't your thing. They never were. You always felt awkward. Everyone else would be sitting there crying and you would be emotionless. You always stood out. And this time, you stood out for a different reason. You were that guy sitting with everyone, sitting in the same metal chairs, listening to the same eulogy, and watching the same oak casket, mourning the same person. But you were the one who started to cry, and fall apart, but manage to hold it all in. You were the ticking time bomb that everybody knew was about to blow. So now you sit alone.

Everyone has left now. It is just you and a fresh grave. And Bailey is walking towards you. Not that you really want to deal with her at the moment, but oh well, you don't really feel like moving.

"Derek, you need to stop blaming yourself for this."

"Why? I was the doctor on site when she died, I was the one who could have brought her back, but couldn't, I was the one who called her, I was the one who killed her."

"You know that isn't true." You hear sirens in the background. You shut your eyes and hold back tears.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard,
Oh take me back to the start

"I killed her."

"Open your eyes Derek."

"Ikilledherikilledherikilledherikilledherikilledher." You whisper over and over again, hoping that if you say it enough her voice will go away."

"I said open your eyes." The alarms are louder.

"Open them."

"I cant believe it, I killed her, oh god I killed her."

"I am going to count to three and your eyes better be open, Derek."

"No…shes not dead, she isn't, she isn't, she isn't."

"One."

I was just guessing at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart,
Questions of science, science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart,
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start,
Running in circles, chasing tails,
Coming back as we are

"I wont, you cant make me."

"Two." It was Meredith's voice this time.

"You're not here, you're not real. You're dead!" It's the alcohol, that is all it is. Just too much booze. You're going crazy. The sirens feel like they are right in front of you, what in the world is going on.

"One."

You open your eyes. The sirens are still blaring. As your eyes come into focus you can see monitors, you're in the hospital. Not just any hospital, Seattle Grace. You look at the person laying on the bed. And she is looking right back at you.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard,
I'm going back to the start

It was a dream.

"You okay?" Her voice is raspy.

"Been better." You smile and your eyes are teary. You hand has found its way to hers and both of you are holding on…hard.

You remember everything. You saved her again. You remember the fall, and the ambulance, and the surgery, and mostly, you remember sitting in this chair when you were finished and saying that you'd be here, even if she didn't wake up. But she did.

()> ()> ()> ()> ()> ()> ()> ()> ()> ()> ()>

Yay…whoever didn't see that coming, shame on you, I may be stoopid, but not that stoopid, hehehe….ttfn