Again, if I use Buffy or Alias quotes…not mine!
Song is Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
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I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone
Everyone has those little things that get them down. Me, I cant stand being helpless. And my… condition right now, sucks. All little girls dream about having a guy to take care of them, but I was not that kid. I was the one who wanted to become a doctor, like my mommy, and surpass everyone, to not have to depend on anyone. And I just figured out that once you get hit by a truck, go under several surgeries, and be technically dead for a total of five minutes, you change the way you view things. Part of me wants to just sit here, and not allow anyone to help me, and wait until I can help myself, but the other half wants to just lay back and wait for someone to help. But, life really is just a bunch of choices, it just depends on which ones you choose to make.
"Good, you're awake."
Snapping out of my reverie
"You need to check my incision."
"It is so easy when your patient is an intern."
I sit up and pull my hair back so that he can check my stitches.
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
"You're looking good, I still need to scrub it though. We don't need you passing out on me again."
Passing out on you, you mean passing out on us? There it was a again. This look in his eyes. I had seen it twice before. When I woke up after the crash, and on the ambulance heading here. It was deep. I really don't know how to describe it. There was worry, and fear, but something else was lurking behind his façade.
"When I woke up, a few hours ago, what were you thinking about?"
Silence. He threw the gauze in the trash can and put the scrub away, without saying a word.
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone
"I mean, you just looked different."
"It was a dream."
"Just a dream? And its got you shaken up like that?" Now he was just staring into space.
"You died."
He stood up and looked at the door, then back at me.
"I'm done here. I will see you later in the day."
He turned and walked out the door, never looking back.
"Huh."
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone
Izzy walked by and stuck her head in the door.
"McDreamy done?"
"Yeah, come in."
"What was that all about? He walked out of here pretty quick."
"Nothing." She looked at me.
"It was nothing!" God, she's good at this.
Read between the lines of what's
F---ed up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone
"Fine, it was something, a little teeny tiny non-existent something."
"You wanna vague it up a little more?"
"I don't even know what it was."
"Did he say something?"
"He was acting kinda weird when I woke up. So I asked him what he was thinking about. He blew me off and said it was just a dream, but he had this look that told me otherwise. Then he said, that I died, and he just walked out."
"Huh."
"Yeah."
So, life is full of choices. No sh-t. And I am figuring out that all of those choices, for everyone are hard. Some harder than others. If you can survive making those hard choices, you might be able to make it through life. But, like mommies and daddies always say, we all make mistakes, that's why there is this little something called an eraser, you just have to pray to God that some choices you make aren't written in pen.