Author's Notes: ...Sooo, it seems I'll have to be taking another look through Law & Order: SVU at the VERY least if I want to be TELEVISION ACCURATE. What a lame way to go about this. (sigh) I'm sorry if anyone gets nitpicky about the details, just pray that I still remember the difference between "sustained" and "overruled" when I get to the juicy bits. Surely I'm not that terrible with my memory...

Axel: Ya got it memorized?

KLM: (glares at him) You, silence with the parodies! Now go make love to Roxas, you flaming gay pedophile.

Axel: ...I'm nineteen...

KLM: You LIE! Off to the Roku-chan with you!

Axel: No, really...uh...I'm younger than twenty.

KLM: You LLLIIIIEEEE. (Death-Eyes Axel)

Axel: (cowers in fear of Death Eyes) Okay, okay, I'm going!

(sigh) Anyway. Another chapter. Sadly, it is three pages shorter like most of the others were. Ah well. I'll try to get some other longer chapters in somehow.

OVER FIVE HUNDRED REVIEWS. I LOVE YOU ALL TO DEATH. WHEN I DIE, ALL OF YOU WILL RECEIVE A BISHIE CLONE FROM MY WILL.

(hugs for everyone)

Chapter 46

"What It's Like to Lose It All"

Friday Afternoon

Two Days Until Trial

"Boy, you sure were right-quick to do the pickin'."

Hayner and Sora both watched as Kairi and Naminé got into their car with their father, and drove away. Sora had a very deep frown on his face, and was chewing the inside of his cheek gently.

"You know, when I said, 'pick someone', I didn't mean you had to do it right away."

"I know, but..."

Hayner glanced at him. "It felt right?"

"Maybe...or maybe I'm just too impulsive."

"Or too scared." Hayner nudged him. "I'll bet fear did it, huh? Wanted to hurry up and get the yellin' overwith, didn't'cha?"

Sora's shoulders slumped. Maybe that had been a part of it—but, the truth was that Kairi didn't yell at him at all. In fact, she didn't say anything. Instead, what she did was stare at him for the longest time—and then she said with a sad smile that she understood, and that she'd always thought there was something she'd been doing wrong.

"No! It's not you!" Sora had said. (Although, in reality, it kind of was her—but not in the way she was thinking.) Kairi had responded, "It's alright, Sora. I know when I'm beat. You musta found some better girl who lives closer."

She had shrugged her shoulders, laughing rejectedly. "That's life, I guess..."

Sora felt terrible afterwards. He hadn't even told Kairi that he was gay (or bi, or whatever would have made it easier for Kairi to understand). All he had said was that this was becoming a long-distance relationship, and that he'd found someone else. And to see that look on her face—well, even if he didn't love her anymore, it broke his heart. He expected she would be upset, but just like any boy, Sora couldn't read girls' minds. He hadn't estimated just how upset.

It made him feel worse when he remembered he'd called Riku and told him that he loved him before he'd broken up with Kairi. Just what the hell was wrong with him, anyway? Had he always been this bad with people? He couldn't ever remember doing something that had made him feel so rotten. (Well...there was the time he broke his mother's prized blue vase, but, he'd been six at the time.)

"Hey, cheer up." Hayner patted Sora's back heartily. "The worst part's over 'n done with, right?"

The brunet's response was a dejected sigh. "I guess," he mumbled. Hayner just shook his head, and ruffled Sora's spikey hair.

"You'll get over it."

"Yeah." Sighed Sora. He turned away from the window. "Hey, Mom?" He called. "I'm gonna go shower. If Tidus or Roxas come by, can you tell 'em to come back later?"

"Sure thing, hun!"

"Thanks." Sora trudged up the stairs with heavy feet, while Hayner made off to the kitchen for cream cheese and crackers. He would be leaving tomorrow, Sora realized. Now that everyone knew he was okay, they were all leaving. The house would be empty pretty soon, except for his family that lived there. It made him feel a little lonely.

Stripping off all his clothes and cranking on the shower, Sora shut the door behind him in the bathroom of the upstairs hallway. It was technically both his and Selphie's. He knew this because Selphie's Little Mermaid towel was hanging up on the rack that was nailed to the door.

While he wet his hair under the spray, shutting the translucent clear curtain, Sora thought about what he was going to do for the next couple of days. Riku might call him to be a witness in court. He wondered how that would blow over. And there was probably a whole big wagon full of schoolwork he had to catch up on...that thought made him groan with despair. My desks are gonna be piled up with all those papers, he whined mentally. There was silence in his mind before he switched tracks. Man, I feel awful.

Sora squeezed some shampoo into his hands and started to scrub it into his chestnut hair. Guess I can always call Riku again, or something. So he won't be bored before the trial.

Downstairs, the phone rang for him, but Sora didn't hear it. Lisa glanced up from her seat at the kitchen table and picked up the phone. "Hello? Tilmitt residence."

"Is Sora home?"

"He's in the shower..." Lisa frowned. "Who is this?"

"Uhh...it's Riku."

Lisa still wasn't very happy with Riku. She put one hand on her hips. "Oh, I see," she grunted. "What business do you have with my son?"

"...Listen, ma'am, if you're still mad at me, I'm sorry. Okay? I was a stupid kid and I did stupid shit. But please tell me that you're not gonna put any restrictions on or something."

"Frankly, that's not any of your business," said Lisa. "And in any case, I accept your apology, but you're not smoothing out those wrinkles so easily. You hear?"

What she heard was a frustrated sigh. "Fine, fair enough." Riku asked her, "I just wanted to know if Sora was free tomorrow?"

"Why do you want to know?"

Riku paused.

"...Well, frankly ma'am, I'd like to take him out someplace."

Lisa blinked. This, she had not been expecting. "What, you mean like on a date?"

There was a long pause.

"...It's not really a date...okay, look, bad timing. Can I call back when he's out of the shower? When do you think he'll get out?"

She shook her head. "Riku, I'm sorry, but do you know that my son is straight?"

Hayner was in the room when she said this. He had to duck below the counter because he'd barely succeeded in swallowing his cracker, and his chest hurt because he was breaking out in silent laughter. He, quite simply, found it hilarious.

"Mrs. Tilmitt, can you please just tell me when Sora will be out of the shower?"

"Uhh—"

"Actually, nevermind. Gimme thirty minutes. I'll call back later. Thirty minutes is enough time, right? Sorry for bothering you. Bye."

Baffled and confused, Lisa tried to interject with her stutters, but she heard the click of the phone hanging up before she could even try. She looked at the phone, blinking, and then hung up herself. Well, that was strange, she thought. I wonder what that was all about.

Cloud, Seifer, Fuujin, and Raijin stared at the pile of boxes on the doorstep. Raijin crossed his arms, grumbling something, and the other three simply gazed at it with sorrowful eyes. After telling the children yesterday about what had happened, they had all gone to school with sad faces and heavy hearts. Cloud wasn't in the best of moods. His heart ached in his chest, but he struggled not to show it.

"So," Seifer said, "That's it, then."

"ROTTEN." Fuujin hissed, clenching her fists. Cloud just hung his head. He'd gotten an e-mail yesterday that he'd been fired from work, and now here were his things on the doorstep. Now the money was at a dead halt. There was no way the three eldest could cover the costs with their money, and Cloud couldn't ask any of the younger ones to give up theirs. That was how they earned their allowances.

"What a stuck-up, spiteful bastard, ya know!"

"Guess we better take these in."

Cloud sighed, nodded, and gathered up two of the boxes in his arms. Seifer and Fuujin took any of the others that were there—there wasn't very many to begin with. Four, tops.

"Are you going to need any help packing, Cloud? You said you had a place you were going to go stay at for a while."

Cloud shook his head. "I'll...I'll do it myself, Seifer. Thanks."

Fuujin's face softened. She dropped the box in her hands on the couch and suddenly hugged Cloud around his middle from behind. Cloud closed his eyes, and grit his teeth behind his lips. He knew he was going to miss them.

Seifer got the box out of his hands, and when they were all by the couch, Cloud turned around and hugged Fuu back. She squeezed him harder, until the blond thought he would suffocate, but he didn't care. Seifer joined in and hugged the both of them. Raijin blinked at the display.

"Hey, uh, we're gettin' all touchy-feely, ya know?"

"Shut up and share the fucking love, dimwit." Growled Seifer. Raijin jumped, and Cloud smiled slightly as he chuckled.

"G-Got it, ya know." Rai wrapped his big arms around Cloud's shoulders.

They all stood there like that for a while, embracing each other for what they knew would be the last time. Raijin backed out when he started to feel nervous, though. ("Can't stand huggin'," he grumbled.)

"We'll cook," Fuujin said softly. "Cook a good meal for Cloud. Good meal for children."

"It's the least we can do." Seifer nodded, agreeing with the proposal. Cloud tried to smile, but failed.

"What are we going to eat?"

Seifer smirked. "Don't worry about it, we'll think up something. We lived with you since the start, remember?"

"Yeah!" Raijin pumped his fists. "We'll make it really great, ya know!"

Cloud truly appreciated the gestures of kindness, and he knew that there was nothing that would stop these three from accomplishing what they were going to give back to him. They were right—after all those years of taking care of them, they did owe him something. But the strange thing was that Cloud already felt like they'd given it to him. He had the opportunity to watch them grow; that was reward enough for him. Perhaps it was simple, but Cloud didn't mind it.

"Thank you," he said. "All of you."

"Don't thank us. You've done enough. No more thanking. It's our turn to do that."

Cloud hummed sadly and managed a small smile. He watched Seifer give him a thumbs-up, and suddenly the world seemed a little less complicated.

"Help carry," offered Fuujin, picking up the boxes. She looked at Cloud. "Your room?"

"Yes, thank you."

Seifer growled. "What did I say about thanking?"

Cloud chuckled. "Alright—yes, please." He corrected himself.

After he and Fuujin got his office things into his room, Fuujin went back downstairs and Cloud got on the computer. The moment he was on, he was just glad the Internet was still there. Not only that, but he signed onto his messenger service, and Leon was there.

As if drugged, Cloud opened up a window and greeted him.

RiddlezindaMiddlez: hey, are you busy?

GrieversKeepers: Not really. Paperwork. (Cloud chuckled.)

RiddlezindaMiddlez: Sephiroth fired me yesterday.

GrieversKeepers: He did what?

GrieversKeepers: Pretentious bastard

RiddlezindaMiddlez: I told you it would happen

GrieversKeepers: Dumb old prick!

RiddlezindaMiddlez: Ha, ha. It's okay.

RiddlezindaMiddlez: I'll be moving soon.

GrieversKeepers: to your friends' house?

RiddlezindaMiddlez: yeah.

RiddlezindaMiddlez: they have flaky connection, so you might not see me much

GrieversKeepers: Then why don't you call me?

Cloud stopped. His fingers wanted to type, but he was a bit too shocked. He checked the message again—just to make sure he'd read right. And he had.

RiddlezindaMiddlez: me...call you?

GrieversKeepers: I'll give you my phone number.

Cloud wasn't sure what to think. He frowned. No, he did know what to think. But he didn't like it because it reminded him of all the shit that was happening right now. Well, can't really help that, he thought ruefully. His fingers clicked out a message.

RiddlezindaMiddlez: thanks.

GrieversKeepers: Anytime. Here's my number...

When Cloud saw it, he wrote it down. And, truth be told, the thought made him smile. That Leon would give him his phone number. Nice of him, he thought. What a good friend. Not bad-looking, either.

The blond's eyelids fluttered. He creased his brow, and shook his head. Ugh. The depression's getting to me more than I realized. There was no way he could just jump into another relationship. He had to get things straightened out first. Yeah, he said to himself. Move in, get settled, then find Leon.

Cloud froze. He knew where his mind was going, and his cheeks turned pink.

E-Er, well, find someone else. He corrected. But it doesn't have to be Grieve—Leon.

He stared at the computer screen, with the chat window still open. The wheels in his head started to turn, and the more he lingered, the more Cloud felt himself being nudged closer and closer to the idea.

"...Leon," he murmured. The name rolled off his tongue like silk. Cloud blinked.

It did have a nice ring to it...

Ansem stared at the money on his table. It was cold, hard cash, plenty to cover Luxord's insane expenses. But that still didn't make him feel any better. He was thirty-four years old, and under house arrest. There was a policeman in his house watching him. He sure didn't dress like a cop, but Ansem knew damn well that he was one. He'd flashed his shield and then stuffed it in his pocket. Drumming his fingers, Ansem listened to his new lawyer speaking to him over the phone.

"Unfortunately, Ansem, by the looks of things and what you tell me, I don't think we're going to be able to get you off the hook. But the least I could do is push for a shorter sentence."

Ansem grumbled. "Sure, as if I'm not already sitting on a lifetime of jail."

"We could try to shoot for fifteen, but if we go any lower, it'll be difficult."

Fifteen to twenty years! Ansem moaned aloud to himself. He thought he would die right there in the living room. I'm ruined. I'll either die in there, or come out a very broken man.

"Should I press for fifteen years?" Asked Luxord.

Ansem sighed shakily. "Anything lower than twenty," he murmured, losing all resolve. There was nothing he could do to solve this—nothing. Somehow, he thought that even Luxord knew that. Guess I can thank the poor bastard for trying, he grunted mentally.

"I'll talk more with you tomorrow in person. Is there a restaurant where we could meet?"

Ansem only nodded his head. "There's a, uh...café downtown that's about twenty minutes away from here. It's called the Addled Impasse."

"Oh, I know that place. Very well, then. Tomorrow at twelve-thirty, say?"

"Fine by me. I'm taking the day off from work."

"Excellent. I'll see you then." He and Luxord hung up at virtually the same time, and Ansem sunk down in his couch, raking his fingers through his hair. The fear wouldn't leave him. He was just too nervous. The impending doom that hovered over his head was like knowing the Grim Reaper was right on your doorstep.

This must be what it's like to lose everything, he decided. It has to be.