This chapter is directly after the last one. song is Delicate by Damien Rice…..btw:the "plan" was nothing more than the driving thingy…Thank you to all of my reviewers, you rock my metaphorical socks! Anything in parenthesis is like visualizations of how the scene would play out if it was on camera, cause in tv there are sections with no words that can speak the most to a person…cinematography folks, I am trying to write it on paper, if you like it, tell me, if you don't review and TELL ME, if most people don't like it, I will stop it…I just need feedback on these thingies. May be a little OOC, but I didn't know how to work these scenes.
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We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate
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(Meredith is in that black cami and a white over-shirt and a simple pair of jeans, Derek has the hot red shirt on, nothing underneath and a pair of baggyish jeans…During this part the VO speech, camera going down halls of hospital, then flashes to a birds-eye view of Meredith & McDreamy on the ground, in the rain, you can see her breathing heavily, he kisses her forehead)
There is always that metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel. The eye of the storm, the summit of the frickin mountain. I've found out that it is a LOT harder than it seems. So many success stories that you hear of, and so many more failures. The only thing that people want to hear about these days is the angst, the broken dreams and crushed hopes. I am done with the angst. I just want to be done with this whole movie type-life. I quit. My light at the end of the tunnel, it turned out to be a bloody train. And now I'm falling to pieces in front of the one person that I love the most.
"Breathe Meredith…just…" he sighs on my shoulder, which makes me shiver. "…breathe" I'm still breathing hard.
"Meredith, we need to get you inside."
"Not--- not right now, just…give me a minute, just stay like this for a minute."
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"Addison."
"He…he really loves her…"
"Addison, you need to come inside…"
"No, I need to go home."
"Addy, just remember, if there is any way, any chance that I can get you back… I need to know, otherwise I will just fly back to New York. Tell me, you don't love me, and I will go back, you never have to hear of me again, I'll disappear."
"I… I need time… I need to figure things out."
"At least let me give you a ride." She looks at him…then looks back at Derek and Meredith…
"Okay." They head back inside the fairly empty hospital towards the back parking lot.
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So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've know
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
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"Meredith…come on, I'll give you a ride home." I did not feel like moving, even after he stood up.
"Come on, you don't stand up I'll pick you up…wait, was that, I think I saw a smile…"
I couldn't help but laugh a little. Then he kneeled down and picked me up, slinging me over his shoulder. I let out a small squeak. He walked to his car, opened the door and put me in the passenger's seat. He went on the other side and sat down.
"You're wet." He looks at his hair as a drop of water falls from it.
"Incase you haven't noticed, it is raining." He starts his car and the Sex Pistols are immediately pumping from the speakers, which he turns the volume down.
"Hey, who said you could turn that off? And what happened to the Clash."
"If you don't like the Sex Pistols, you should be shunned from earth."
"That is a good policy."
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We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate
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We get to my house and it is raining outside, still. It's not the windy rain, but the big rain that gets you soaked in a second. We pull into my driveway, Izzy and George must be over at Joe's. I look at Derek, smile, then look outside.
"What are you thinking?"
"You know how when you were kids and your mom would let you go outside and dance in the rain? I miss feeling like that, feeling free." I open the door and stand outside. I can hear a muffled Are you nuts! From inside. I look up and let the rain shower me. I slide the shirt off of my shoulders and hold my hands up in the air(she is still wearing a cami). I look over at Derek in the car he is shaking his head.
"You're insane, you do realize that?" I walk around and open the door on his side.
"Friends don't let friends be boring!"
"When I get the flu its your fault." I pull him out of the door to stand in front of me.
"Here, stand like this." I put my over-shirt on the trunk and hold his hands up like I was.
"Now look up." I look up, I can feel him looking at me. I look at him and then lean down and take off my shoes and socks and sit them with my shirt.
"What are you doing?"
"What?"
"You have that look…"
"What look?"
"That look you get...you're up to something." I laugh, then run over to the sidewalk leading up to my house, which is a big puddle. I jumped in it, then just looked up at Derek and smiled. Derek looked at me and smiled then walked over to me and jumped right in front of me.
"Look what being your friend has reduced me to." He says with a laugh.
"You mean you are actually feeling like a kid?"
"I am dancing in the rain and jumping in puddles, and enjoying it." After another ten or so minutes running around in my front yard I invited him in to the house, we were soaked. We set our shoes next to the fire and I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a pint of ice cream out of the freezer and grabbed a spoon. And for my benefit a bottle of tequila.
"You, Derek Shepard, need to live a little more." I took a spoonful of ice cream and he took the spoon from me. I took a sip of tequila.
"There is this thing about being a doctor…you don't have a life." We sat down in front of the fireplace and took turns taking a sip of tequila and a spoonful of ice cream.
"Okay…so, while we are hyped up on ice cream and adrenaline,"
"And a little tipsy."
"Hey, I swear to drunk I'm not God, wait…"
"As you were saying…"
"Fine, and a little drunk, we need to have a conversation. That we can ignore later on."
"Ah one of those conversations. Brutally honest."
"Yep, here, I'll ask you a question, you ask me a question."
"Okay, you first."
"The night when you met me, what was the first thing you thought? Be honest."
"First thing I thought. You were beautiful, that's all I remember. My question, how long when I was asking you to go out with me did you know that you would eventually say yes?"
"After my surgery with Burke, when I was sitting in the hallway and you asked if I got to hold the heart. My question…extremely blunt, how was the sex?" he almost spat the ice cream out.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Good."
"Good? Just good."
"Meredith, 5 hours straight, I didn't know that was physically possible, the sex was amazing, don't worry, should I?"
"You've got nothing to worry about."
"My question, what was going through your head when you pulled the bomb out of that guy's chest?" I took a scoop of ice cream. Then looked at him, and he knew what I was thinking.
"Do you love me?" He looked at me and smiled.
"See you tomorrow Dr. Grey." We stood up. I walked him to the door.
"Dr. Shepard." I shut the door then slid down the back of it. That just made everything so much clearer, and that much harder.
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So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've know
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
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TBC