Sorry for the lack of updating, these past few months have been beyond hectic for me and my attention span is just about as short as th—hey look a butterfly! (jkjk) but yeah, so here is the chapter you have all been waiting for(hopefully) disclaimer is same as always, the song is Tomorrow by Avril Lavigne… Oh yeah, this is still a sidelines fic, so im picking up after the events of the season finale.

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And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't
When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

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Everyone has those moments in life where you are left in the dark by your own mind. It sucks. Usually, you know exactly what you should do. Usually the two little people on your shoulders end up agreeing, either that or the little angel loses and you're screwed. The latter usually happens to me. But now, its like deciding over, screw it, I'm out of metaphors, I have to choose between the man I love more than anything, or the man I could end up loving more than anything, the one that offers stability or the one that broke my heart.

"Meredith." Snapped out of my reverie… I don't know what to do… I hear the door opening behind me and see Alex carrying Izzy out the door.

"I…should go check on Izzy." Crap, I am going to have to face these repercussions later. I run after them. Alex slid her into the back of my car when I opened the door for him. We drove back to the house in silence, everyone was there for some reason. Izzy was just sitting on the couch next to Alex, George, Callie, Christina and I were standing around the room.

"Iz, lets go upstairs, okay?"

"No, I don't want to go to sleep yet, can we just sit here, and watch a movie or something?"

"Sure, whatever you want." I put a movie in the TV, making sure it wasn't a romantic movie. Which is horrible seeing as how I am the queen of chick flicks. I walked out of the living room to go get chips and chocolate when Callie followed me back. She just stood there looking at me.

"What happened…"

"It wasn't his fault."

"Whose was it?"

"Both of us…he actually wanted to talk after it happened, he kept asking me what it meant that…that happened. I was the one who walked away."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Actually, I don't know. Right now I have bigger things to worry about." I picked up the bag of chips and headed back to the living room.

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I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just do

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That morning was hell. Alex called into work opting to stay back and watch after Izzy. And I had to be at work for pre-rounds. Bailey had us all gathered by the main stairwell.

"I know that this week has been hectic, and it is gonna stay like that. We are two interns down, so everyone is going to have to put in a little extra effort to attempt to make this week go smoothly. And, I am gonna need one of you to pull a 48 hour shift, one of the other interns called out sick this morning and we need the extra hands in surgery."

"I'll do it." I found myself saying. For why, I have no clue.

"Thanks Grey. Everyone, lets get going." We all went our separate ways. I had a couple of rounds to do on the first floor then I had to go upstairs. My first patient was an elderly man who was brought here for chemo treatment on his kidneys. He had acute kidney failure and his liver was growing weaker.

"Good morning Mr. Goodwin, I'm Dr. Grey, are you feeling good today?"

"Ah yes, the 80 year old with failing kidneys has a high-quality outlook on life today." He said with a laugh. "Call me Silas, this old grouch cant take too much more falsified propriety. Sorry, I can be quite rude in the mornings."

"So can I."

"I just never wanted to go in a hospital bed, I always thought I'd go down swinging if you'd know what I mean."

"You sound like my mother. Okay Mr. Goodwin, you are good to go."

"You should smile more, a beautiful girl like you shouldn't waste her life in tears. Believe me, take chances to make yourself happy, it is worth it." I smiled as I headed towards the elevator. Why is it that all of my terminally ill patients end up with the wisdom of a thousand men? I stepped into the elevator and just before the doors closed, someone slipped in. I looked over from the files I was holding, and saw him. I quickly diverted my attention back down to my folders, pretending to be paying attention. He pulled the emergency stop on the elevator, but did not face me.

"I don't expect you to say anything, you don't have to, just hear me out." I kept my eyes on the folders in my hands.

"For all the logic in the world, you should be with Finn. He hasn't hurt you, or given any indication that he would. He has been loyal, and never lied to you. He has plans." He pushed the emergency stop back in and the elevator began to move again. He put a wrinkled photo, facedown, on top of the folders, and then walked out the elevator. The doors closed and I flipped the photo over. It was a picture he took of the two of us, on a ferryboat, smiling, and kissing in the rain. I slipped the photo in my pocket as the lift stopped and wiped the stray tear out of my eye. I stepped out the doors, and suppressed another memory.

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Gimme a lil time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
And I know I'm not ready,
Maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

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TBC