TITLE: The Princess Plan
AUTHOR: Pilla Jeffrey
CATEGORY: Romance, Drama
PAIRING: Mia/Michael, Lilly/J.P., Mia/J.P.
SPOILERS: All books, especially Sweet Sixteen Princess
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: mild language
SUMMARY: Mia tries to get J.P. to tell Lilly he loves her. However, things don't go according to plan.
STATUS: Work in Progress
ARCHIVE: anywhere else, ask.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Princess Diaries series. But don't archive without my permission!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Either Meg Cabot is dropping heavy-handed fake anvils, or J.P. has a crush on Mia. Of course, Mia's oblivious (as she was with Michael--when it was SO obvious). This is me making some drama out of a soon-to-be awkward situation.

The Princess Plan

Chapter One: Helping Lilly

Monday, May 3, Gifted and Talented

I think I made some mistake in my past when Lilly and I became best friends. Mainly in the fact that she can convince me to do practically anything. Like today during the passing period.

Lilly very rarely accepts failure. This was one of the things I learned very quickly after we became friends. She would not settle for only using orange in her coloring book page of a sun. She would not accept the cuts from the middle school fine arts budget. The list, the examples, the times of Lilly proving herself against all odds, were as numerous and dizzying as all of the members of the Genovian family tree. Sadly for me, hearing "Thank you" in response to "I love you" was certainly part of her definition of failure. She had failed to get J.P. Reynolds-Abernathy the Fourth to return her affections. And that meant that I, the best friend, Princess Mia Thermopolis, had to listen, care, and do something about it.

"I can't believe he said 'Thank you.' Do you think he hates me?" Lilly's eyes were alight with fear, her fingers paused in their task of dialing the combination to her locker. "What if Michael's right? That he's just not that into me?"

"Lilly, that's ridiculous." I had patented that response for whenever Lilly—in a rare bout of lack of confidence—needed a little pick-her-up. "Michael, despite being the love of my life, can be quite tactless and stupid sometimes. He's wrong. J.P. totally likes you. You guys just went to The Drowsy Chaperone together last week. And, if memory serves me right, I think you mentioned that you got awfully close to second base."

Lilly rolled her eyes. "So what if he likes me? He obviously doesn't love me. And that's the problem!"

I waved the idea away with my hand. "Come on, Lilly. He's a guy! What do you expect? He's just…building up to that volcano of passion that Tina is always talking about." I mentally hoped that Lilly couldn't tell that I was making stuff up, just trying to comfort her. I hoped she didn't see my nostrils flaring.

She didn't, either because she was too busy getting her books out of her locker, or because she was too preoccupied by her own thoughts. "I suppose," she sighed. "But I want to make sure."

Suddenly, her eyes lit up. Uh oh. She had a plan.

"Mia! You need to talk to J.P. for me."

I swear I choked on my own throat. "What!"

"Talk to him," Lilly said insistently. "You two talk all the time. Why not move the topic of conversation to me?"

I could tell this was a bad idea. And, I felt confident that for once, I could rebel against the amazing force of will that my best friend wielded over me. "Lilly, I don't think—"

"The reason I'm in this mess is because of you," she reminded me, slamming her locker shut. "You told me to tell J.P. that I loved him."

Damnit. I hate when she can guilt me into things.

"Fine," I conceded.

I have no will of my own.

Tuesday, May 4, Lunch

I tried to talk to J.P. Lilly went up for her second helping of French fries and—as Boris unknowingly distracted Tina, Ling Su, Shameeka, and Perin with his latest arrangement of "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira on his violin—I cornered J.P. mid-bite of chili, sans corn.

"Hey, J.P.," I began, conversationally. If I have any princess-y quality, it is diplomacy. "How are things?"

He swallowed, giving me an odd look. "Fine. You?"

"Fine," I repeated. "Uh, so, what are you doing this weekend?" I prayed that he responded that he was going to take Lilly on a romantic date and confess his undying love. Hey, it could happen.

"Well, Lilly and I were going to go out this weekend, but apparently she and Michael are going out with their dad, since they never see him."

Oh right. Michael had told me about that.

"Oh," I said, desperately trying to see a possible way to manipulate the conversation onto the topic him loving Lilly.

"So now," he continued, "I have two tickets to Beauty and the Beast and no one to go with. And my dad's not really a fan—"

My heart had stopped. He had tickets to my favorite musical. He had AN EXTRA TICKET to my favorite musical.

"—and Lilly says you really like it, so I was wondering, actually, if you wanted to go with me."

And at that moment, what he was suggested fit me full in the proverbial face. My best friend's boyfriend was asking me out. Not in a romantic way—hopefully, or assuredly, since he knows how Michael and I are destined for each other for eternity—but in a way that would strike Lilly as a kind of betrayal.

But then again, I thought, it would be a great opportunity to get him to talk about his waiting-to-erupt passion for her.

"I'd love to go with you," I answered, just as Lilly started toward our table, French fries spilling over in their cafeteria cup.

Now I have to tell Lilly in G&T that J.P. and I are going to Beauty and the Beast together. Knowing Lilly, she'll respond in one of two ways:

1. Freak out in anger, and risk a life sentence in Genovia by attempting to kill me.

2. Understand the need for this outing as a part of the scheme to get J.P. to say he loves her.

But I'm not putting too much stock in number two.

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